Thank you.
Oh, everybody, bloody goo.
What is everybody doing on this fan fucking test of Friday everybody chat we are live today doing a full react day today
We haven't done a full react day in
What two weeks now maybe longer? I feel like every react day we've done recently
There's some sort of tournament or other thing going on last Friday. I valorant last Sunday. I jinx these tournament
Uh, so we just had a bunch of other shit going on. This is the first full react they were doing in a while
tomorrow
I'll be live at one maybe two one. I'll say one thirty will be live at one thirty tomorrow
We're doing random games for about two and a half hours
Into active matter for the last active matter sponsor
Sunday react day at one or two
Monday
Deji bro Vee bro, okay. We're solidifying the games that we're going to be playing
But Deji and I are going to be Deji all a ton day all a while Lee
Daniel all a ton G me and wow the fact that I remember that name is crazy
But yeah, me and Deji are going to be 1v1ing
And a bro Vee bro on Monday. We're playing a bunch of slop games
So it's a bit different because me and Deji or Deji and I have different skills in varying games
So it would just be like constant handicapping each other
So we kind of like settled on doing a middle ground of like random stupid shit
We're gonna be doing gang beasts
Straftat spy party goofy gorilla Roblox spelling bee fortnight. Guess who call of duty modern warfare to the new one
I don't know if it's snipers only or not
And then we're gonna try and find some sort of racing game
What would be a good racing game that me and Deji could do that isn't Mario Kart?
That we could 1v1 in
Not GTA. I don't think forza. I feel like forza. You gotta I don't want to download a brain rock cart
I
Don't even know if you can make a custom lobby for brain rock cart a Cito Corsa
What's like a less casual one? Is there a good NASCAR out? Aren't those long?
Vmen G last time I played brain rock car it blue screened my PC, so I don't want to I don't want to play that again
Yeah, maybe NASCAR 2026, I don't really yeah, it's not really a 1v1 racing game though
I feel like track mania is probably a better pick and we just see who has better times
I feel like track mania could be really good
Need for speeds more of a solo game, isn't it?
I think I might I think I might air the idea of track mania
track mania question mark
Never played asking my chat today f1
Which one now
2025 I feel like track many it would just be easier to learn
Maybe F1
Maybe F1 I'll send this to him because we're still hashing out what games we're gonna do
But it's gonna be a best of seven first to four so we're not even gonna play every game necessarily
I had to buy a $70 call duty from four years ago. I'm gonna refund the fuck out of it once we're done
Modern warfare 2 from fucking what 2022. Yeah, I am not keeping that game installed
Anyways, yeah today's reacts tomorrow random games active matter
Sunday reacts Monday, Deji bro v bro. Maybe some other random shit. Who knows?
Tuesday horror games and roblox horror with steak. We're gonna be playing that cat in the hat horror game. That's popping right now
Wednesday, I'm doing an early react from like 11 to 1.
It's going to be like a 2-hour stream.
I just want to go live that day, and I don't want to miss stream
because I'm going to be gone October 1st through the 5th.
So I'm gone next Wednesday.
Yeah, no, I'm gone next Thursday through next Monday.
We're back to the 6th. We're doing reacts in a game.
The 7th, we're starting GTA V story mode.
The 14th, we're doing a JNC League tournament.
The 16th, we're doing a charity stream.
We're playing GTA twice a week till we beat it, and then we'll go from there.
Oh, a Teamu review as well and a food gauntlet in October.
Once the Teamu review, we'll probably review the products right when I get back, order them,
and then I assume late October we'll do the stream,
but Teamu products can take anywhere from like four days to like two weeks to come in.
Read bits, I will in a second, but chat for last thing I want to say and then I'll read bits and we'll hop into the
reacts or I'll show the reacts. What charity should we do the 16th for October? I was thinking BCRF because
it's October, but I wanted to air the idea BCRF breast cancer relief fund. Am I saying that right?
It's not really research fun fucking my thinking. I'm thinking of World Wildlife Finder like relief
Or pat PCRF outside children really fun. Um BCRF. I think is the one that I would want to do for October
But I'm sure W bits
Desire or desir. Thank you for the fucking 10k bitties curly in the Navy on a submarine being underway gets rough
Are being underway. Do you mean underwater?
Being underwater gets rough sometimes the downloading your thoughts on YouTube's help me get through it
You're the good man. I think you set me that yesterday as well, bro
Thank you for the 10k bitties
I don't know if you were tapped in when I read it yesterday, but I think I read your shit like an hour late
Cuz I was in a war dogs game. So that's my bad number one number two
Thank you for the service yet again number three. What's a fuck is lifelike living on a goddamn summary?
How long are you out there like six months?
That sounds rough as fuck. What's the Wi-Fi like down there?
Is it good?
Can you play games?
Probably not.
I didn't even know you have service. There's none. There has to be service. He's in my stream.
There's no way he doesn't have any service. A hot spot, a hot spot, took 5,000 feet underwater.
But dude, thank you for the Ted Gay Bitties. I appreciate that.
And I hope that your time in the submarine is going by swimmingly
Andrea think of the five gift it's minecraft. They give it three gift it's danger and miss for the sub minecraft. I
Was there like a promo going on? Why is minecraft matching all these subs?
Rage for the five when you playing Wolverine not playing it again Kayla think of the three
Why do you cap at 10k with donation stream since we keep blowing past them every time?
What do you mean? Why do you cap at 10k with donation stream since we blow past it every time?
Why do I cap it? I don't cap dough. You're saying my match
Because I'm I this year. I've donated like a hundred and ninety thousand dollars thus far
And I love donating but I also don't want to throw a zero cap
Because then if like queso comes into stream and drops like a hundred grand then buy work
I'm a word of bond guy, you know, if I say I'm going to do something,
I, 99.9% of the time I'm going to do it.
So, if I say I'm going to match donos, I'll match donos, so I usually have a cap.
You have the money.
I have funny money. I do have funny money, Zod.
You're right.
But, I also, you know, I do a charity stream every three weeks.
So, I usually do a 10K cap.
I don't know what it would be. It would be weird if I upped it. I feel like I would have to up to like 20k if I did it again.
I think I could do like a 15k cap. Should I just up it to that?
I'll do that. I'll do that. Next one. Next one. I already said, I already said for this one we were doing.
After this next charity stream, I'll up the cap to 15k, but we never really blow past 15k.
It dead-ass like and you're saying we blow past it every time the last two times
The only reason we've blown past it is because one guy gave 10k twice
Like every other time we averagely raised with my matches or without my matches we averagely raised like 8 to 12k
But the last two times we blew past it because one dude gave $10,000
So Delta for the sub benefit the sub mr. Thank you for the thousand buddies
There's a organization called Camp Kessum that helps send kids who's mom or dad have kids from the summer camp as a former camp
It changed my life for us for many children. Please check out this charity
I could check it out, but not right now better. Thank you for the sub break and thank you for three
How much will you to be here wanting to catch the stream? King? It's long for the sub easy and super for the sub extreme attorney
Thank you for the eight
Cocoa and Mike take it for some good sake of the three sixty six year old irish have finally retired yesterday and love your stuff
Can you tell her to have a relaxing retirement? Have a relaxing retirement? Why are you saying hurry? You said Irish dad?
You said her and then Irish dad. I'm confused.
Kiro, think of the 1300s Marine here about to go to a Navy ship.
Any good books you'd recommend to keep myself occupied.
Hardboiled Wonderland and the end of the world.
Bang, Reddit in high school, great book.
Onyx for the sub talk, thank you for the five.
You should play War Dogs, did yesterday.
Blake did killer of the sub.
If you have anybody who's never watched kids that play video,
give such that.
Shay take it with the tier three killer Ben crispy and Jamie and para think of the sub
Mr. Twins think of the thousand buddies Joan Luca
Taun and and B. I'm for the sub if they give it a six a night rogue that that
Cleetus it's over the subject think of the thousand buddies. My name is Alfie. It's my 17th birthday today. Happy birthday
It's in low for the sub
Loki nervous. I don't know what's ahead
Your streams and YouTube videos always help me use part of me to start creating content myself
We could walk with it. It's in low for the sub
Zenayah and that for the sub Tay millen and M for the sub Trist they give the six over the three all my way home from work
Hope you had a good day sunflower at opium for the sub TK and R for the sub JC
Abby and twist they give it a sub knowing JC for the sub
Colby for the sub twisted and not for the sub Colby for the sub
I just read that sorry my shit clutch Simon Landon for the sub William Evan
Whitton Rose take it a thousand, but he's got a date tonight. Good luck
Phoenix in case of the sub
Ro, Adria, think of it as 1000, but he's going to play Infinite Second Son, video, sub, game, sub, dad.
Kaxo, think of it as a 1, think of it as 3.
Would you ever do a charity for OCD? I'm not opposed.
But I don't know when I would.
I'll ram, think of it as 5. I don't have to look at which ones are on Tiltify as well.
Max, think of it as 3. Can you do another food rating video?
Video, sub, game, sub, if you have anything else you can play. I'm doing a food gauntlet soon.
But when I'm going to do the next food review, I don't know.
Coaster, think of it as something able, think of it as 5.
It's not Quinn, thank you for the five gay bitties.
You inspire me to do better every day.
Really appreciate it.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
And thank you for the nice message.
Go serve for the sub one, thank you for the three.
Thank you for the sub ramp, thank you for the three.
How are you much before the Jeff Foundation's
great suicide prevention health nonprofit?
I'm not doing another suicide prevention charity right now
because I did one last time
for suicide prevention awareness day.
I usually do something cancer related for October,
which is why I've been airing the idea of BCRF.
But November, November, I'm doing November with Block Wars
and then late November around Thanksgiving,
I'll probably do something for like a food bank
and then I'll be open after that.
Baby thinking of the tier two,
my thinking of the three, demand for the three.
Finally finished the Fire Academy, that's awesome.
So to watch the stream,
so go in and pass the EMT exam now into the firehouse.
Happy Friday, have an amazing day.
Well, I'm glad that you're done with the Fire Academy.
A year ago, I started watching the stream
so I was struggling to pass.
Well, I'm glad that you passed the EMT exam.
Blake and Shane take it with the tier three.
Killer and Tuck take it with the five.
Onyx with the sub, Icy take it with the three.
Have you ever played Stardew Valley?
Would you ever play it?
Video.shop.game.stab, and no.
So, yo, guys, this is like the fifth time
in the last 30 seconds that somebody's asked me
if I'm gonna play a game or do a video idea.
Video.shop.game.stab, I'm sorry.
But I feel bad when you guys send bits
and then I'm just gonna keep redirecting
every single one of you to the video slash app,
game slash tab.
It's Ro, take it with a sub.
Adrian, take it with a 10 gift,
it's in Ro, take it with a five gift,
it's double V and double for the sub.
Axe, take it with a three.
Miles, take it with a three.
Would you ever play Shadows of the Colossus?
Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee,
video, suggest you to have a game show, stab.
I see take it with a three.
G, take it with a three.
Gray and V for the sub, double for the sub.
Am I mudded?
Am I mudded?
I
Right
Cardinal thank you for the thousand bitties been watching your YouTube says you started the channel. It's made my day for years. Thank you
I'm a very scheduled person chat. I can't tell you are you gonna visit alvea sanctuary? I don't know
At some point. Yeah, when I don't know
Landed for this up
Chat at space white schedule if you don't know the stream schedule. We do have a food gaunt like coming up
We have a team review coming up. When's the next food guy or the next food review?
I don't know. I probably will do another restaurant versus restaurant food review soon
No, I don't know what it'll be or when or a full menu review
I can't do many full menus because I have alpha gal
But um
We'll do another one at some point. I don't know when if you have games
You want me to play though. It is you want me to react to video such a game such that
We're doing a bunch of random games until I'm gone the first of the fifth then when we're back
October is gonna be basically GTA 5 story mode and a shitload of horror games
And then some tournaments, but outside of that I'm not really starting any other long games
Just because we're gonna be ripping up 40-hour fucking story game
HEMBONIUS! Think of it as 10 gift-its! I did not think of it as 10 gift-its!
It's Quinn, think of it as 6. Cool, think of it as 1000 bitties.
Landed for the sub-honor of the sub-boss for the three. My girl broke up with me because she didn't think we would go anywhere in life.
She messaged me saying she likes me, but she is legit in a talking stage with my friend.
What should I do? I'll block her dumbass and tell her and tell your friend.
And then have your friend stop talking to her as well.
Cardinal, thank you for the thousand bitties, but yeah, Adrianne for the sub, I see you thinking
of the three cool thousand bitties. Chat, no more spits, no more, no more, no more. We
gotta hop in. Chat, run down to the videos today, lock in. Last cheater standing, when
it's $10,000, Mark Rover video six days ago about casino cheating. Very excited to watch
this. Why horror games keep giving you a job? How I'd survive every final destination
movie the worst song's ever made and nurture is crushing nature using 8,300 marbles. We've been waiting to watch this constantly
We keep pushing it back. We're going to watch it today occult
Thank you for the 20 gifted subs. Thank them if you got a set of thank you for the 20 gift
It's QK or QAX thank you for the sub or KQ for the sub. Adria for the sub. I see thank you for the three chats
Excuse me
Excuse me
My editor just sent me a video hold up now. We have to give me a second. I'll play a banger song for you guys
one second
One second one more second I need a couple more seconds
Hold up everything is
I'll content
All right.
All right, I'm locked in, I'm ready, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
Are we ready?
Are we ready?
Are we ready?
No more bets.
No. Ben, William and Anna for the sub.
Say thank you to the sub.
Also, Musa Sal, update, still there, no, no changes.
No changes whatsoever.
When is it gonna go away? I don't know.
I wanna pop it like a water balloon, though.
It's pissing me off.
It's pissing me off.
Every day I'm starting to talk differently
because of it as well.
Willie for the sub, MS for the sub.
I don't see it, cause it's on the inside of my mouth.
Medication, it's a salivary gland that's blocked.
I don't want to get surgery for it.
It's not a tumor.
Why would you say that?
You guys are like asking WebMD what's wrong with me.
Atlas, She, MS, and Cal, thank you for the sub.
Let's go.
Chat, lock in.
You still have it?
Yeah, you have it for like a month.
I think part of the problem is that I stream every day.
And what you're not supposed to do is have your teeth rub against it.
And guess what's happening?
Five hours a day, every day on the day.
I'm talking, and it's rubbing against it.
So it gets bigger. When I start stream, my mucousel is half as big as when I end stream.
I swear to God. Every day that I stream, it gets bigger.
So shut the fuck up. Okay.
Oh my God, like...
I just wanna fucking cut it open.
So bad. I wanna slice it.
That's saliva stuck under my skin.
And I also have a canker sore.
My mouth is disgusting right now.
Stage for the sub, Abby for the five.
Don't pop it, you must resist the urge.
Yeah, it'll just make it worse.
It'll just make it worse.
I know, I know, I know.
You're right, you're right.
All right, here we go.
Leader Alec and you over the sub, let's go.
Chat lock in, type lock in.
Type locked in
Somebody redeemed edible
If you let me do it after the Mark Rover video fine
I'm not doing it this early in the stream
They said no, okay, then refund it last shooter standing wins $10,000 lock-in
I invited all- Oh my god my manager messed me. I'm gonna fucking tweak. I'm gonna crash out
Let's go Mark Rover. I'm sorry. I invited Mark Rover. I'm so sorry for interrupting. Please don't glarebomb me
Mark Rover, please don't airstrike me. All right. Let's go last cheater standing wins $10,000
I invited all the internet smartest creators to compete for $10,000 and the first it's weird
I wasn't invited, but that's fine mark. I'll let it slide
I'll take a hint here, buddy. I guess you're insulting my intelligence.
with the whole night on its head.
Who stole the money?
So this is, they're all coming in
with like a predetermined amount of chips they start with
and whoever has the most chips at the end of the night wins
but if you get caught, you're out.
And all of these people are cheating
or only some of them
because there's no way they're all cheating.
What is the easiest what is the easiest way you could cheat and not get caught if you're
just playing roulette in blackjack?
Counting cards counting cards is so oh my god.
Can we can we let me just do a lesson here.
Counting cards isn't cheating, number one.
And number two, counting cards isn't how you imagine it to be in the movie The Hangover
or Rain Man, okay?
In Rain Man, yes, he's a savant and he's really good at math.
Counting cards gives you a 1% edge on the house, 1%, meaning about half of the time
you're still gonna fucking lose.
And that's like, once you, they're probably playing on a six-deck shoe.
So, counting cards on a higher and higher deck immediately just becomes less valuable, right?
Because the odds are, like, especially if it's an auto-cycler, so I don't know what they're playing.
I'm assuming they're not playing an auto-cycler, because then cheating's even harder.
But, say you're playing on a fucking six-deck shoe and you know how to count cards.
You, card counters still lose.
Like, go, if you ask a professional card counter how they get their money, they'll be like,
Oh yeah, sometimes I'll still be down 40 grand.
Like, they'll still lose money over the course of their life.
They'll win because they have a statistical edge on the house.
But like, that doesn't mean that every day they win money.
All food fell there, you like it, boss?
Also have BAM from Crunch Labs, head of security.
That's something none of you knew,
is that whoever gets the most chips tonight
will be earning, for the charity of their choice,
$10,000 in cash!
You're probably wondering where the cash is.
So am I, Science Bob.
That was supposed to be a dramatic reveal.
Sorry, sorry.
I wanted more of, like, a walk-in.
Bring it in, guys.
Okay, here it is.
Thank you, security.
I had the internet's most trusted science teacher here yesterday
to verify this was real cash.
Hey, Green.
Is that right?
100%.
Tonight, you should just know there are two rules
and two rules only.
Number one, you can use whatever engineering device
you made to cheat,
and if I find it,
it'll confiscate it,
and it'll give you the information
But if I find it, it'll confiscate it, and you have to play fair.
And number two, you'll be forbidden to enter and permanently banned if you are Michael Reeves.
I'm sorry, Michael.
Now he's kidding.
I don't know why you were planning, but I know it's way too unhinged.
Oh, he's not a... so they're just kicking him out of my channel.
Press you, Mark! Press you, in your abs!
I don't make the rules, Michael!
Hey, juicy, juicy abs!
Let the games begin!
How do you even cheat and roulette?
How would you cheat and roulette?
Like that's not, I feel like unless you would have to like swap out the ball or oh my god
a floor magnet.
Bro that's so obvious.
What you're, you're, you're sitting, you're like, yeah so you're like holding a magnet
under the wheel.
was no shot.
I would try to cheat in Blackjack.
I feel like that's the way, like maybe you do, but if you wear glasses to see the cards,
like somebody that's X-ray vision, is that even a fucking thing?
This was easily the biggest party Crunch Labs had ever seen.
Welcome to your party.
Well, there's a lot of people in here.
With my many friends in the science and tech YouTube space, here to enjoy four
Classic casino games poker blackjack crafts and you let
Craps yeah, you can have weighted dice
That's so easy to fucking cheat like if you cheat with weighted dice marks catching you instantly poker
I feel like cheating in poker is good
Well, are you really gonna make that much money cheating in poker because you're playing against other players?
So you have to cheat other players not the house. I feel like cheating the house is better
No, but cheating the house is better for money, but cheating other players is easier.
algorithms which I functionally called the Michael Reeves AI phase detection defense system where 95%
of the compute power is dedicated to making sure Michael Reeves could not sneak back in.
They're just not allowing it to even play.
We're remaining 5% reserved for watching and waiting for cheaters to strike.
Haven't lost yet let's go.
And we didn't have to wait long.
Oh good I'm on red that's awesome because at the roulette table Kevin Kota somehow hadn't lost a single game
I don't know man betting red or black like is that really how are you cheating in red or black
Which is strange because in roulette you basically place your money on either a red or black space
And if the ball lands on your color you double your money
But if it doesn't you lose it all meaning I know okay
He just like okay, that is the basis of how roulette works if you're betting on the outside on colors
But there's like way more way more bets
You should lose more than half the time because there's green spaces
That's why roulette's also not like if you went to a casino and a roulette wheel was just red and black
It would be the same thing as playing Baccarat
effectively. And you would win a lot more.
I've got an idea.
I decided to take a closer look by using a stylish pair of sunglasses that also doubled as a covert spy tool through mirrored lenses that would let me face away from the table while still getting a perfect view of the gameplay, allowing me to play deductive while looking totally natural to a nearby layperson.
Just standing, standing three feet away from them, not even talking to anybody looking in
the sky.
Yeah, totally not, totally not obviously seeing if you're cheating.
Totally natural.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All right, no more bets.
Oh, no more bets.
Here we go.
All right.
Oh, I'm on black.
I feel like that's too obvious, though.
I feel like that's too, he literally put it on like a fucking Roomba, like you could
see the robot and all the other players see it.
I'm ratting on him instantly.
Um, excuse me.
Oh, hello.
I happen to notice something at this table
with my reversing glasses.
So you mind if I look at your chips?
Yeah, you can take a gander.
Ooh, yo, filthy genius sheet.
This thing drives itself?
Drives itself.
Let me see.
I would try to counterfeit a chip.
I would try to steal chips.
Does that count as cheating, or is that off the board?
If you're able to counterfeit a chip, then you could just infinitely spawn money.
That's incredible!
That's incredible!
Who lets a 50-50 game, but if you-
Why wouldn't you just do this on a number once or twice to see if you could get fucking...
Like, if he was able to remote control the chip and just put it on the number that it landed on
when you distract the lady that spins the wheel, then you would 36-1 your fucking odds.
You have a robotic poker chip. It lands on the correct color every time.
Show me that. I'm gonna be more glad.
This guy's a good one.
He's racking him in.
One in a time.
One chip at a time.
Truly a genius part of Kevin's hauling out poker chip robot wasn't the inset, coin cell powered custom printed circuit board,
or that it receives its command from what's essentially a garage door remote.
It's the fact that the tiny motors to use came out of your fo-
Astro asked what flavor chip you would steal.
Oh, because he removed the offset weight from the silent call vibration motor and replaced
it with the wheel.
You repeat that three more times, you can drive anywhere you want, and Roulette becomes
a solved game.
Good luck catching this.
I love it and it's now mine!
Oh, so he's not banned, the cheating device is banned, so he could still win, but
Oh, you get to keep everything up until the point that you're caught cheating? Oh my god, I'm fucking counterfeiting a chip
I'm literally just going table to table and trying to exchange a chip
But they don't even look like they have value like what are these chips work five dollars or like a dollar?
I was breaking them in till you caught me.
You're gonna keep those, and I'm gonna keep this.
We got a cheater! We got a cheater!
But I may have taken the victory lap too soon, because while catching Kevin Kota, I could-
That still can't be the best way to cheat, though.
The best way to cheat has to be something with, like...
Something with Blackjack, man.
Do you think you would be able to, like, duplicate cards and, like, put them in the deck?
Just put, like, a shitload of fucking aces in the shoe.
So, you would have to distract the dealer.
And I should have thought of this.
Because famously in 2011, a high tech cheating ring won millions using this exact device in
Las Vegas.
And because one person would scan, while a second person would analyze the data and
And a third would place the correct bets.
He got away scot-free.
And since I completely missed Tom's cheat.
I mind if I cut the deck real quick.
You know, just for some good luck.
He was free to rack up his ill.
Why are you wearing a raincoat inside?
I mean, like, I understand that this is an event where
they're not playing with real money chips.
But if this was like any casino,
you're instantly getting flagged by the pet boss.
Like, you might have like cut the deck.
Yeah, sorry, let me just, good vision.
Like, fan the whole deck.
They would not let you do that.
Gotten chips.
Oh.
What's up?
I was gonna have to pick-
That's like way too obvious.
I don't know how you cheat in craps outside of dice.
Pick up the pace, because tonight we were the house.
Somebody looked very suspicious.
And like every other casino in the world,
the house always wins.
And by the way, they don't just barely win.
The casino industry around the world
breaks in one billion dollars every single day.
And we're see at 90% of that billion
comes from 10% of the population,
which repeated studies show are all the people
that have clinical gambling addictions.
So the entire industry's predatory,
as statistically speaking,
spending enough time in a casino
will make you a guaranteed loser.
And this-
And what do you think the best
money-making games are for casinos?
I would assume slot machines, just because they cover 80 fucking percent of the floor.
He's talking about you.
All right, I've lost a lot of money at the casino, but not that much money.
Um, what?
Like, let me look at, like, Borgata Atlantic City Profit per year.
Do they have, like, that...
Do they have, like, a sheet on how much money they make in each game?
Let's just look that up. That would be, there's definitely articles written about that.
The most profitable resorts in Vegas.
The Bellagio makes $1.3 billion per year.
It doesn't say what games though.
It doesn't say what games though what games let me look that up
What casino games win the most money for the house
It's saying it's roulette I feel like that's not true though
a lot of people play fucking roulette though a lot of people play roulette
because it's like the most understandable game as well table games
probably maybe roulette this is why casino spend so much money on gambling
surveillance as chachi PT am I gonna stoop this low am I gonna stoop this
slow what casino games make what casino games make the casino the most profit per year money
amount not percentage I know this is a now slot machines slot machines about 3.25 billion
dollars in July of 2026 alone, whereas all table games combined 876 million.
It's just, I think that's just sheer fucking floor space, though, as well.
Like slot machines rake in the most because they have the lowest odds of winning.
But also like slot machines, there's just so many of them.
It could be wrong because if anyone is consistently winning their money,
the only possible explanation is they're cheating.
I'm gonna see just how clever-
Yeah, chill, good-
Oh yeah, you just fucking let water on fire.
Okay.
Some of these shoots are, it's real hard not to root for the underdog.
Meanwhile, y'all fucking all cheating on every test you've ever fucking taken using AI.
For example, one team managed to disguise an infrared ink pen inside a fake thumb that they did-
Half of your fucking-
I-
The one thing I will say, I feel like there has to be a nuance take on AI.
AI sucks. Everybody, I understand. AI has a lot of downsides. AI has some good sides with like medicine and like, you know, surgeries and brain surgeons and very specific instances where AI is very good.
But in the same sense, when you're like LAI, we need to drill AI into the ground. Half of your parents 401k and their entire stock portfolio hedges on the success of AI.
AI and if it doesn't your parent your parents are never retiring like that needs to be known as well
the majority of the stock market hedges on the success of AI and if it fails everyone's broke
everyone's fucked right used to secretly mark walk in the only possible explanation is their
cheating the loser and this is why speaking spending enough time in a casino will make you
a guaranteed loser and this is why casinos spend so unless you're playing poker you could spend
That's why like Poker's considered they don't really write put well poker
You don't play against the house you play against other players
But poker generates almost no revenue for casinos that they don't even really report it on their financial sheets as like substantial revenue
comparable to like blackjack or something because you're they're just taking a fee for you to play
But poker is also considered like skill-based gambling where you play your hand and there's RNG with your hand
But you could also decide whether or not you're folding raising or what you're doing against another player
Like there are people that just win money constantly playing poker much money on gambling surveillance systems
Because if anyone is consistently winning their money the only possible explanation is their cheating
And when you see just how clever some of these sheets are it's real hard not to root for the underdog
For example one team managed to disguise an infrared ink pen inside a fake thumb that they then use to secretly mark all the best cards
Then by using special infrared contact lenses, the marking became obvious only to them, or
another group built a remote control roulette ball with an internal electromagnet that would
slam the ball down as soon as it passed over the correct color.
Or even a very simple custom built card reading device disguises a phone that can read these
tiny random dots along the edge of each card.
Which might seem impossible, but in reality, this is exactly how every single barcode scanner
works.
By the way, that barcode crunch was brought to you by a giant version
of my brand new toy
The crunchinator
Which is essentially your favorite ever you for me tonight, but I wasn't alone because I had my highly trusted pit boss
All right, Bob. What do we see you so far?
Don't say L add dude crunch labs actually does good stuff. It's like everyone's having and it's his company fun winning money
Like cheaters you're looking for cheaters. That's right. I'll start that now. Sorry
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're literally one job, Bob.
But whatever these cheaters were hiding, they hid it well.
Six please.
11 on six.
What happened to him?
And I ended up keeping a watchful eye
over some pretty mundane table conversations.
I just up for a film in TV and then my channel
was showing up behind the scenes
how I do it, puppeteering it on exactly.
I've been taking like two concerts.
I'm getting very into dick.
I think the best way, you have to have
a good cheating method, and you also
You have to be constantly doing something else to make yourself not look suspicious.
Like that's a big part of casino cheating too.
Like if you're sitting there and you're just silently playing and you're just like, uh,
hit and you're doing like repetitive motions, like a lot of blackjack cheaters would have
like, electronic things that zap them.
And so they like, they like tap their leg a certain amount of times.
And it's like, if you're doing something that's repetitive, you're going to get
caught quickly versus just casually talking, but like this guy wearing sunglasses is
It's so sus.
Like, wearing sunglasses inside is just not.
Like, there's gotta be something in the fucking lenses.
Ooh, you have a different summit.
Why is it so nice right now?
Bro, Rastafarian, you keep redeeming edible.
Refund that shit.
I'm not doing it until after this.
So to help with my boredom,
I decided to randomly own it on Davis,
a creator who didn't usually sport Tom Cruise.
David.
Well, it means you have a bad hand.
David, I really like your glasses.
Thank you very much.
You always wear them?
I'm a theater kid, so it's all right here.
The eyes are the window to the soul.
Can I try?
Absolutely.
Yo, you know what I'm doing?
I'm getting a blind guy, and I'm giving him sunglasses,
OK?
A lot of blind people wear sunglasses.
In the sunglasses, I'm getting something
that has x-ray vision to read the card
and it's going to overlay that info to me
in a small earpiece.
And Mark can't walk up to the guy
and say, I need to see your glasses
because he's blind though, I know Chad, it doesn't matter.
He's just playing, right?
And if Mark goes, I need to take off your glasses.
Whoa, that's fucked, you know, Mark can't say that.
So it's gonna be x-ray vision.
Really x-ray vision. Is that a thing?
Is x-ray vision a thing?
Real quick before this plan works out. No x-ray vision is a thing come on
There's there's some for okay, so I'm gonna get meta glasses that emit radiation
tab x-ray vision
What would be in the glasses to cheat though?
I'm not a betting man, but my guess is this is a king, and I'm a...
X-ray vision.
This is an ace.
Ace of the land.
Space.
A jump, and a six, or a nine, because you can see what the cards are using these glasses
somehow.
I'm Davis, and I have these special glasses that allow me to see the back of everyone's
cards and know what their actual values are.
And that's because Davis found a way to write the value of the card with a very light green ink on the back of our otherwise fully red playing cards.
So if you view them through these red tinted glasses, the green writing jumps out because it's on the exact opposite side of the color wheel and absorbs almost all red wavelengths.
So in order to use his marked cards, he arrived early at the event and bribed a dealer to swap them for our standard.
Oooohhhh! I can just pay a guy?
I'm just walking up to one of the dealers.
I'm giving them $1000 and I'm saying, give me $5000, give me $10,000 worth of chips.
We're playing cards. But despite all this cheating...
Why are you looking so much like you're a cheater?
You literally know every card of this is all you have?
I'm really bad at poker.
Well, these are mine now. Put them in.
The house always wins.
The house always wins.
Why would he do it with poker?
Why wouldn't he play?
Because with poker, people could still fold.
I feel like if you were able to read the card values,
I would do it with Blackjack, no?
Because then you're able to just fold or hit accordingly.
Like, Blackjack seems a lot better to do this.
Because even if I know what the other guy has in poker,
they could just fold the hand and then
I don't get any of their fucking chips unless they match me but with two cheaters down. Yeah, I feel like it's like right method wrong game
I was feeling good. Yeah, you're right. Fortunately my newfound confidence
Maybe miss the flagrant rule violation passing right under my nose 14 inches under my nose to be exact
Is he wearing a body suit?
Hey man, it's me Mark Robert. Do you know that if you put this into the body of a cat it would die?
And the son-
Hahaha!
Science behind that might surprise you.
Catch you later, it's me, Mark Rover, look at my abs.
And if you're wondering how this happened, given on Michael Reed's AI-faced detection defense system...
You know how you hit a kid with the Chevrolet Silverado?
I can assure you...
Yeah, yeah, give him the Chevrolet Silverado, it'll die.
It'll die on impact.
And have you ever wondered why that is?
Well...
It was working.
It boils down to basic physics, so the car's going fast enough and has enough weight and
momentum involved that it crushes the kid's rib cage almost instantly on impact.
Flawlessly.
Because earlier that night, when Michael tried to sneak in as a waiter...
Hey man, look if I get you anything to drink for...
It successfully flagged him and then called it in.
He's got such juicy pecs bro, I just want to get his abs!
And it did the same thing when he tried to come in as a backup pit boss.
Perhaps we were the worst.
Bro, he could just put on a mask, though, no?
At this time, it seemed BAM had missed the warning because she'd been busy...
Want a dessert?
Yes, please!
...trying out the dessert cart.
What in fairness?
We had the Angel Food Cake at a Julia.
The dessert cart treats were really delicious.
And a magnet for juicy.
Awesome.
Yeah, now where I should lose my money next.
Okay.
Now, something was going on there, or he got really lucky.
Really?
Apparently Nate Scoville was having a lot of luck
With the number seven
I feel like crafts cheating is just so obvious though
Like you just have magnetic dice number seven. Yeah, cuz you want like in
Crafts you don't want the number seven
But if you're cheating the best number to play is seven because it's the most likely to hit
So it looks the least suspicious versus you just rolling the number fucking three every time or something
So I decided to take the closer look and see for myself
And my presence didn't seem to face it that is until he rolled God traps
No, actually if you have magnetic dice, you just don't trigger them
But unless they're weighted like if he has dice that he can control if they flip to the number seven
Whenever Mark's watching he's just stop cheating
Another seven
So they're not even weighted dice they just they're just they don't they're not regular dice
Nobody checked. I thought you have to use the dice they give you.
What does that help you?
I'm Nate Scoville and I'm just painted dice.
Made dice that are more likely to roll 7s.
Basically Nate spent a week meticulously crafting these fake dice
because in crafts getting a 7 on your first roll instantly doubles your money
and with these rigged dice he's more than double the chances of getting a 7
because the lowest possible total you can get is a 5
combining a one and a four and the highest possible total you can roll is a nine combining a six and a three
So all your possible dice rolls are between a five and a nine with seven being the most likely versus what two and twelve
Dirty scoundrel man, how much money if you want?
Where's all your chips even if you double your chances?
It's still a game of chance and sometimes just get on look
So he didn't even profit he just kept with
Wait, that's it?
Actually, here.
You can have them back.
This deep up.
This deep up.
That did not feel great.
Five hundred and seven.
It's another one in the board.
Why is young gravy there?
Deep up.
This deep up.
That did not feel great.
Is that young gravy?
Great.
Or is that a guy that looks like young gravy?
Five hundred and seven.
It's another one in the board.
I apparently had to remind everyone just exactly who they were messing with.
It's me, Mark Rober.
Look at my awesome abs. It's me mark. Hey, hey, welcome to the event, but now let me tell you what's going on
This is Michael Reeves
Who knows?
Ask a question only mark rubber would not far away. It's so easy not far
140 million
267,924 miles that's not fair. He's more than
That he could just made that shit up
I was losing control of the knife and the harder I tried let me see those glasses more I came up empty-handed
It seems like most of the people also aren't cheating now
I think that makes it a lot easier for a cheater to blend in versus every single person doing something excuse me
versus every single person doing something to smudge us.
Hello, and just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.
To make it up, attention, please.
Becky Stern made an announcement that changed everything.
I would love to raise a toast.
Tonight, may you always know when to hold them,
know when to fold them.
May your bluffs be believable,
and your jeans go undetected.
And finally, I think the best for last.
Mark Roper's gonna buy every single person in this room
a new regular.
Oh, that was the first one!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh!
Oh!
I'm sorry.
That had to be planned.
No, no more, no more.
Why did she do that distraction?
Why did she do that distraction?
I'm sorry, thank you for the Vivian March!
No, no more, no more!
No, somebody did something weird there.
Like, she, on the other side of the room, somebody had to have fucking done something.
That's not true!
While it might have looked-
The money's gone?
Vivian March!
What do you mean?
No, no more!
No more! That's not true!
While it might have looked like Becky's speech was just an excuse to get herself a Vivian,
the truth was far more sinister.
Because earlier that night I caught her way spewing cards. What was that?
Let me see the bag of those cards
I've seen
Oh, where did these come from? Ah, in fact all night I've been fighting cards later on the floor
What are all these cards in here?
I'm collecting these and it turns out it was Becky all along. What is this?
This is my card launcher.
Becky had hacked an uno-attacked dispenser
into a remote-controlled 52-card pickup.
But she wasn't using it to cheat.
I'm not actually playing, I'm just watching.
Why would you have a card launcher?
To distract people.
I'm Becky. I'm the distraction broker.
I have these business cards,
and they have our menu of distractions,
my card launcher for 250 chips,
a remote-controlled rat for 150.
The one I'm the most curious about
on Miri is passing gas.
I have a device.
You have this farting device.
And that's my strategy, because I really can't get caught.
So I can't take your device, because you're not actually cheating with it.
Other cheaters are just...
Bro, I'd say just give me 10,000 chips, I'll throw up on the table.
Like, I don't need even... I'm not even gonna code a device.
Give me 10,000 chips, and I will make a distraction so obscene
that I'll have to stop the games.
Pay you to make distractions.
Right! It's all because I can't keep a poker face,
and I'm like, how do I be successful in this environment?
I will shit myself directly next to you best chance is to her 5,000 chips sell the
Distractions rather than trying to win the chips myself. That's a dirty loop. That is smart though
You know it, but my hands are tied bad luck
Something told me all that glass was part of the distraction. That's something being Kevin
I think all that glass was a distraction. It was she's a distraction broker. I know mark. She's trying to do something
I don't know what her plan is something while that happened. I'm holding on to my chips
I'm just helping.
Evan and I rushed upstairs to try and figure out who would use Becky to gain an edge, but
there were no weird contraptions or unusual gameplay at any of the tables, and it seemed
like the culprit might just get away.
But then Bob finally decided to do his job and uncovered some sketchy business.
They're over at that table right there.
The one the bright ones see?
Yeah, there's no way they can make that much money in the time that they've played.
Hey, he's got a lot of money.
And while having a lot of chips doesn't make you a cheater, randomly pulling them
from your pocket doesn't help your case.
Can I swap these?
Wait.
Oh!
Wait!
No, he's doing the shit that I was saying in the beginning.
Oh my god.
Turn off the lights.
This tactic sucks.
Bro, no, it doesn't.
No, it doesn't.
Because he had a fat stack of chips,
so it worked at some point.
Turn off the lights.
The fuck does that prove?
Off the lights.
Oh!
This was a cheat I'd actually anticipated,
because making counterfeit poker chips
is one of the oldest tricks in the book.
And it's why the actual design of casino chips
is a tightly guarded secret.
A single ceramic poker chip is loaded with RFID tags,
UV markings, microtext, and holograms.
And my chips had a little secret of their own.
You'll notice all of the official crunch left chips
have a UV reflecting star on them.
and yet these chips don't have such a star.
Lights on!
Oh!
God, he was cashing in 5,000 chips.
Give me everything you've got.
Let me see all of these.
A million dollars!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Come on!
He's dirty!
I'm feeling if he did like,
bro, he could have infinitely cashed in
100 chips down now.
Like, infinitely.
If he didn't get greedy and do the 5k a bunch of times or like try to trade in blacks like he could have done
He could have done like weak chips like oh, let me get like what like individual nickels
We were getting close to giving away the money, but the way this item been going I was terrified of the final stretch
Okay, we're coming up on the last hand here and that's expected
The distraction started coming
My tightly controlled casino is starting to become a madhouse.
We can't have that. Who's doing that? Who's in charge of that?
And we knew there were more cheaters still on the floor.
Even guests were starting.
Bro, I'm so dead ass.
I think I'm just fucking like hitting...
You know in Hitman how they have that nauseating dart?
Where it makes somebody have to like poop or throw up.
You hit the dealer with what?
Is that fucked up?
You hit the dealer...
I mean, you're starting up for a Mark Rover.
Starting up for a Mark Rover video.
You hit the dealer with one of them, oh fuck I gotta go throw up, I'm just stealing all the chips.
It took me off.
Like when they turned off the lights, and everybody went like this, to go look at what the fuck Mark's doing,
grabbing the chips.
Grabbing the chips. Grabbing all the chips on the table.
table. But when I confronted them, they wasted so much of my time playing dumb Alan. I don't know what happened. I just kept going all in and kept working.
And I missed the other cheats right behind my back, like Christina Ernst, who had a garter belt that helped her count cars.
My name is Christina. I'm the creator behind she builds robots and I want to sit back relax and enjoy the party
So I programmed this garter to do card counting for me
I'll be manually inputting the cards that I have and then we'll get a little visual LED feedback of what my next move should be
Yeah, the problem is card counting can't predict for the fact that the guy to the left
Well, she's starting the show. So this is actually ideal
She's in the best possible spot
She could be if she was counting cards in the middle and you know what you're supposed to play
You're banking that off of everyone else also playing the way they should play and sometimes you just have some fucker
Hit a card that they should it or stand when they should it like you're facing a 15
And somebody has a 12 and they hit you know or
Or you fucking have the reverse they're showing a 20, you know, or they're showing a face card
You know they're shown a 10 and you presume the other ones a 10 and you're showing like you know
14 you have to hit that they don't
I miss rocks who had the ridiculous hack of just bringing in only twos for some reason my hack was the simplest of all
Slate of hand
Somebody else on my table
Two of the same car
They called the pit bossy, but after 15 minutes of trying to figure it out
they still didn't catch me.
I really wanted to catch one more cheater before time ran out.
So I honed in on one table and one person
that seemed to be luckier than statistics would allow.
I'm in a raw center field, boss.
Oh!
Oh!
Yes!
Stick it in here.
Thank you.
Throw nine twice in a row.
I did.
Can I see the dice?
They look a little suspect.
And that's because I was almost certainly holding a pair of loaded dice.
Now when the dice are loaded, it simply means the center of mass is shifted away from the
number you want to land face up.
Because the lower center of mass, just like a weevil wobble, that side always lands off
the bottom.
And I remember reading once, this is done by hollowing out the part of the die under
the desired number.
God, man, being an early cheater in a casino, like back in the day, was probably
so fucking fire.
Like being able to walk into a casino prior to them knowing about any of the cheating methods
and being able to just fucking walk in and con every single person.
Get up, like all you have, you have a parallel loaded dice.
You just con people out of 40 grand in a casino.
They get suspicious, you get up and you go to the next one.
And then you know maybe six months later they find it out.
But that lower 10s.
Yeah, if they catch you, you're fucked.
But.
City means they'll float like an ice cube.
Hold on a second.
Can I see your drink?
Thank you.
Wait.
Now they're just wet.
There's a place to float.
Thank you.
Hi.
Hi.
I still get money.
But there's something.
What is she here?
But after having Bam check the footage,
it turns out Dora was winning with different numbers throughout the night.
Hey!
What's wrong?
I'm gonna fall six!
I'm gonna fall six!
Yes!
Really?
So how the fuck is she cheating, then?
I'm pulling out my weighted dice theory as I left to announce...
Everyone has to turn in their chips now!
It was time to count the chips to see who our top three earners were.
And out of those three, which one would be earning the $10,000 for the charity of their choice?
Okay, the results are in!
The three top chip winners...
Dora!
Okay, so, Dara, where are you cheating?
Wait, wait, shake my hand.
Was I cheating?
Whoa, that's a hot hand shake.
What was that about?
I knew it was something with the dice.
Because these weren't just loaded dice,
they were heat-activated loaded dice.
Basically, the core of the dice is filled with wax,
which when solidified holds h-
Oh!
How do you think of this shit, though?
How do you think of this shit?
where it melts the wax.
So when he picks them up, it solidifies.
So it passes the water floating test
and it doesn't look suspicious or feel weird
until she's heating them up enough
to where it'll land on the number she wants.
Heavy steel ball bearings in place.
So when she held the dice in her hands,
the 10 watt silicone heating pad she concealed
in her fancy gloves would melt the wax,
allowing the steel ball to sink
to a new position opposite the desired number.
Oh my God, and then it doesn't look suspicious either
because a regular weighted dice,
you're always landing on like six and three,
six and three, six and three.
She could just hold it in a different location
and then flip the numbers that it lands on.
The first she wanted to roll,
meaning they were passively reprogrammable
to land on whatever face she wanted,
which is why it was impossible for-
Oh my God.
I feel like you would be able to use this now.
Well, you can't,
because Casino's you have to use their dice, but-
For us to detect them.
I feel like you'd be able to like somehow make this work.
Powder.
Holy crap, that's so good.
That's so good.
Well done, well done.
And our next winner, Daniel, get up here.
OK, Daniel, where are you cheating?
He is saying to chips.
Cheating.
No.
OK, where are you cheating?
Yeah.
And what was your trick?
Fabricating chips.
Wow.
In the bathroom.
Ew.
So even though I take it away,
all the chips Daniel had on him,
every time you went to the bathroom,
he was just making more.
Mark just sent over the invite for his casino night.
And if we looked at the corner,
we can see what the chips look like.
So I can order all the supplies I need to make them.
This is the semi-convincing asset manufacturing case.
Inside I have everything I need
to create a fake poker chip in the bathroom.
Oh, he can make them that fast?
Genius.
All right, and the last one.
I wanna know how many chips they acquired
because I know they're the top earners,
Like how much do you think they made comparable to the average person?
One Alan Pan!
Alan!
Alan!
The Juicy!
No!
No, but like really?
Really?
Really?
This is actually bizarre.
I don't know why I'm here.
And yeah, this one-
Okay, so this is actually- Alan just won- Alan just actually got lucky.
This is like an instance of somebody just getting a really good hand in Blackjack ten times in a row.
It's true too.
How does this work? I have two of these.
He doesn't know how to play. He doesn't know how to play.
What is that?
Oh, they're playing three-car poker.
Flynn had just got dumb luck.
Oh, you dare?
Oh, you liar!
Oh, no, he's playing regular poker. So he was just winning poker.
I have so many chips now.
I have a 10 and a 9. What is that?
Oh my god, why would you tell people?
Yeah!
This is so many!
I lost, though.
I actually don't know what's happening.
Okay, well, let's all hope Ali doesn't win.
Bob, and the minute it was time to reward the top hacker of the night...
Oh, he didn't win. He's just top three.
First ever Kruitschlabs, Chief of the Steadelgames winner is...
Bob!
Was the minute everything changed?
Oh my god, it's cake. Oh my god, this is an episode of is it cake no fucking way
She's looking around like she has no idea dude that distraction was definitely what it was
Michael Reeves
Oh my god, if it's Michael Reeves
and I would see anything at any moment.
Science Bob, can everyone out here,
hear the system as they leave
and make sure they don't leave the premises
for you to hear this out?
Everyone clear out.
I'm sorry, I haven't eaten all night.
It's actually really good.
As the whores of what had transpired here
really dawned on me,
I vowed I wouldn't let whoever stole this money
for charity get away with it.
And what we would discover
we would discover would shake the very foundations
of science YouTube forever.
It's cake.
And the first clue was obvious.
The cake, right?
The cake money?
How did it get swapped out?
The theme?
Well, and it looks like the table rock.
So is there something on the other side?
Like he weight flipped it and then it dropped down.
It was obviously a baker.
Is this a lift?
What is this?
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Is there a trap door?
I was trying to pick up the cake
but there's actually just like a trap door here.
There's a trapdoor.
Let's see what this one.
The obvious question is...
Where does it go?
Yeah, the whole game goes all the way back up.
Does it convey the belt's goal?
The money fell down and it took it somewhere.
A hidden conveyor belt meant that we were...
There's no way that's not scripted, bro.
A conveyor belt under the fucking stage.
Probably at the start of a very long search for the money.
Hey, the money!
They found the money.
They found it!
Oh, so it's not gone.
That's it.
It's gone!
No!
No!
It's person. It's trolling with us.
If our thief wasn't back to troll,
it narrowed the suspect list down to about one person.
Michael, it is.
Did Michael really do this? He has the motivation.
I will say suspect number one.
So from here it has to have gone somewhere.
We need to watch the security footage.
That's a great idea.
We need to see someone being suspicious around this area.
We had cameras recording every single thing that happened that night.
We would figure out who swapped the money with this delicious...
You're eating a lot of cake, Mark.
Oh, really good?
I told you!
It's time to get to work before I ate the rest of the evidence.
But before we do that...
Alright.
Oh, I thought that she was gonna eat that.
Otherwise, here's how we did it.
Dang it.
We can take a look at the stage.
Thankfully, the money was under constant surveillance,
which begged the question,
how in the world did someone switch the money with cake
without immediately getting noticed.
I mean, at this point, is it cake or is it money?
Can we go back in time?
Okay, okay.
So, back in time, we went.
I think so far, it seems fine.
And...
Oh! What do you want?
It's right there.
It flipped. It just flipped.
But everyone's looking in that direction,
musting it.
Now, your hands be full.
Your bluffs be believable.
Oh, you know what this is, this moment.
I saved the best for last.
Oh, Becky!
Mark Rober's gonna buy every single person
in this room a new Rymia.
Oh, look, that's me saying no one gets a rivion.
Chante, Becky dropped all the toast.
Oh, there's the clip.
Wow, wait.
That was part of her distraction.
That was such an act.
Oh my god.
That was it.
I mean, who else did she talk to?
Oh, that's a good idea.
So we reconfigured our security system algorithm to focus on Becky instead of Michael.
Clearly she talked to a lot of people throughout the night, which meant we were able
to filter down the last interaction she had right before the toast.
Okay, wait, here she goes, here she goes.
And it led to a very unlikely suspect.
Yeah, you had to bomb.
What a pit boss.
You're right-hand man.
No.
But as much as I didn't want to believe it,
they just passed each other.
And his hands are behind his back.
No one walks around like that.
He was an honest person.
The footage was undeniable.
He's got the money!
The money!
Wait, wait, wait!
Nobody's here.
Literally walk out with the bag of money.
No one would stop the pit boss.
Yes, I think that's it, right?
And led to the only rational conclusion.
Do we have him leaving?
Do we have him leaving?
He walked out.
No way!
Where did he go?
That's his desk!
He goes to his desk?
He puts his bucket on his chair?
I mean, that means it's just literally back over there, right?
Let's go again, Bob.
And just as we-
Is it going to be a third cake?
We're about to close the case.
Mark!
Doric's cake!
Made an interesting observation.
What's up?
Let's look at this.
Thank you everyone for coming back in.
First of all, I want to sincerely apologize.
Now the good news is, we know who stole the money,
and we know where the money is.
And they're in this room.
Ooh!
So to figure this out, the first thing we did
was we checked the pedestal.
It's a false bottom.
So it's rotating on a hinge.
It's attached to a brushless motor
that turns exactly 180 degrees.
And then it flipped up the fake cake.
The real money dropped down the pedestal
under this conveyor belt under here
that's running to the edge of the stage.
We checked the footage to see when it happened.
It happened exactly when Becky was making a toast
unlawfully telling everyone I was giving them
a review in this room as a distraction.
So the question was, who was the last person
to talk with Becky and exchange money?
And it was the same person who touched the money last.
than science Bob 312.
No!
It was on me. I have no money. I wouldn't do that.
Science Bob, we saw you take a black duffel bag,
high-five the security, and put it at your desk.
Okay.
And we have the duffel bag right here!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
All I'm asking is, please don't open the bag.
Interesting.
Now, given all that, Bob,
You'd have a lot of explaining to do if we open this bag about $10,000, but we're not gonna find $10,000
Why are we Bob? No, you're not
Let's open the bag
What's in the fucking bag? Why would he grab a duffel bag from under the fucking stairs?
The earth is flat
Oh!
Bob, you do have some explaining to do.
A mouse pad for God's sakes?
It was free at the meeting.
Come on.
What?
Bob, are you flat earth curious?
They have some compelling points.
I wish you had stolen the money instead.
All of this looks incredibly suspicious.
But it didn't actually prove he sold the money.
And this is when Dora made a very interesting observation
that blew the case wide open.
Because what we saw, while no one person spent a significant amount of time at the front of the stage where the money was hidden,
a certain dessert cart did for five-
And Michael Reeves was under the dessert cart the entire time!
Minutes after which it made its way around the room for 15 minutes, eventually ending up behind the snack bar,
but when we checked it, we found nothing.
But thanks to the microwave's AI-faced detection prevention system,
we could tweak the algorithm to find the one person who wasn't in the room
precisely for the same amount of time the cart was making its final round.
It came back with one name.
Someone that no one suspected.
The person wearing the same obnoxiously bright shoes
that we actually saw poking out from the dessert cart.
The person who came yesterday to verify this money was real.
YouTube's formerly most trusted site.
Hank Green?
It's teacher Hank Bartholomew Green.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Got you, Hank!
Very impressive, Mark.
Look, I ran the numbers, the number of engineers in here, there was no chance I was going
to win.
I needed some guarantees.
I trusted you, Hank.
That was your first mistake.
You let me count the money, you got to inspect it, and I got to install my little
device.
You needed everyone to look away.
So I bought myself a dish track.
I'm offering some services tonight.
Yes, I've heard.
I was wondering if you might be interested.
I am very appreciative of your offer.
I would like you to give us a toast.
And you swap the money for a cake.
Yeah, it turns out it's easier to counterfeit cash
when it's baked.
Of course, you've been taking baking lessons.
I've been taking baking classes.
Baking classes.
Is that like an online thing?
How do you do that?
Well, I go to a place.
I like to be prepared, Mark.
And when everyone was watching that game,
I slipped into the cart.
I took the cash.
But little does he know Michael Reeves
tricked a goldfish to invest into the stock market
and make more money than they would have made
in the timeframe of being at this casino,
leaving Michael Reeves the overall winner
of this entire fucking episode.
Little does Hank Green know that Michael Reeves trained a ferret to join the Russian military
and actually pin Hank Green with some blackmail that ended up having him transfer the money
over otherwise the secrets would be uncovered, leaving Michael Reeves the winner of this
entire fucking challenge.
And my friend it is long gone.
Hank.
You're bluffing.
You've had enough time to take the money off to Sage, that's true.
But you didn't have enough time to remove the money from Crunch Labs, did you, Hank?
Mark, you're never gonna find it.
You're right, we never would have found it.
If it wasn't for one tiny clue, when we traced the card around,
we noticed that it made one convenient stop during the blackout.
And that's where you made the mistake.
We need to watch the security footage.
And unfortunately for you, it was cream cheese vanilla.
My favorite flavor, and we noticed when the light turned back on this face was carelessly turned 90 degrees
Which means this would be the final resting place of the money your plan was to come back later once everyone had left to retreat
So Dora, please come collect your readings as I dramatically break the vase with this conveniently placed hammer
What
You'll never catch me, Elusive Hank Green.
Security, get him!
Get him!
We got him!
Give him up for front cross security!
What the?
Michael Reed!
Mars Rover!
Mars Rover!
Mars Rover!
I love this video.
Yeah, chat the ending script.
I think everything wasn't scripted up to that like final segment, but everybody's cheating
methods were real.
These are all the genius engineering builds I confiscated at the f***ing the cloud.
It's a crunch lab ad W fucking Mark Rover though. Oh my God
Michael Reeves first video in seven months being him just repeatedly kicked out of a Mark Rover video so Michael Reeves I
Love to see a longer video that is the compilation of all the cheating devices brought to you that yeah
Cuz there's probably some that weren't shown now
Like not every cheating device was was was mentioned because some of them were probably just caught quickly
But still they were probably pretty cool dead for the sub Jackson and third for the sub ghost they give it a three
Sorry for the bits earlier, but it's just retirement. He's looking forward to trying out more creative stuff out of the time
Always checks me if you upload a recent content
Even stop before going to sleep after a night of drinking so we could watch you and talk about it
That's awesome. Only for the substance even a three. It's my friend's birthday. Happy birthday
Tadashi your to dashi
third in Jack for the sub chicken take it three. I have you what they all three
Crack thank you for the sub, Nate and LJ thank you for the sub, J thank you for the five gift-ids.
Carton key for the sub, Anox thank you for the three. 19 my jobs can be to get to be very well.
I haven't worked for them since last week. I've been doing hands-on labor work at Blue Collar.
What would you recommend I should do? I couldn't really tell you.
Life advice like that type of stuff with like job changes and stuff,
I can't really give you what you should be there.
I just need some type of income and I don't know where I could go.
I can't really give you advice there, man. I'm sorry.
Trizzy and Alva the sub, one kill and Bill for the sub,
Chaw six, Bean and Roy for the sub, Chaw for the sub,
Neva thinking for the 13, everybody's,
Nietzsche and Bee, MK thinking for the sub, Ishka,
Xeno, Puggio, Ophire, Willie, Neva, Radar, Dylan,
Mary, Silent, Dom, Shell, Nick, and James thinking
for the fucking raid, man, I'm sorry,
I missed that, Leo thinking for the three,
Bob Jake thinking for the tier two,
Ranabha, JB for the sub, R thinking for the five,
Gifted, Ford thinking for the thousand,
but he's been watching this 2019,
I doubt that, man, if I'm being honest.
I was posting on in 2019 for like a week been watching since 2019 funny on Tech
Doc live streams lots of the vods mostly because my job I would say you're great
you help me through a lot wish you good luck in this crazy adventure we call
life well thank you man just know that you matter as a human and as a living
being I crazy respect brother keep it up don't let anybody get you down no
matter what you do or no matter how what dude farp for the fucking nice ass
message
Been watching since 2002 now. It's probably 2020, but it was probably early 2020 a lot of people said they watched me since
2019 and I'm like, bro. I don't even think I have videos up from 2019
But far thank you for the thousand buddies. Thank you for the fucking wonderful message, man. I wish you the best as well
Frog and maize for the sub shadow and TV for the sub president T glide and then young take over the five gifteds
Fortune, take it for the sub, Cary and Zay, take it for the sub.
Fortune, take it for the 10, give it to Derpy, take it for the sub.
Led, Ali, take it for the sub, yo, and led for the sub.
As you can see, the sub, Anox for the free.
Chat on 10 bits right now, we're gonna hop into the next video.
Really appreciate you reading my bits, huge fan.
Are you doing the JSNP this fall?
No, probably not.
Normally I do the JSNP around November, but GTA sex is dropping,
so I'm probably in, like, December gonna just do, like, a week-long
Minecraft challenge of sorts on a mod pack, maybe like Walking Dead or something else.
Frosty and Jess for the sub.
So it's still like a Minecraft segment, but not like an SMP.
TB, think of the five.
How do you protect your own mental health
when you get emotional?
I go to therapy every week.
Do you ever feel constantly underlying paranoia
about your safety since you're a big creator?
Do you think, I don't really wanna talk about that, man,
if I'm being honest.
Do you think it's possible to grow a career
as a streamer without parasociality?
No.
Is there a positive side to parasocial bonds?
Maybe?
In some ways, yeah, but it's never fully positive.
There's always negatives.
Is it not possible to have a healthy attachment
a streamer. I think there is a healthy attachment to a streamer, but pair
sociality in general is like I would say 60% negative 40% positive or maybe
like 40-60% the other way. There's always negatives, right, but there is still as
positives about it. Yeah, I guess. One boundary which the streaming community
would start to enforce. Don't really want to talk about that either.
Real finna three. Talking about that stuff brings light to it in a good way,
but it also brings the weirdos out. Septimandas think of the sub-TV for
That's why you never hear streamers talk about it because any streamer that's smart realizes the more you talk about it, the more people did it.
I was going to say some questions from my school project. I thought it would be easy if I said best not to ask the questions.
Only for the subcamp, thank you for the three cents, thank you for the three.
Sammy for the sub, HD investor for the subprosy, just for the sub.
What are, oh was that the questions? Yeah, I'm sorry. Those are really serious topics that I don't think you're ever going to have most streamers want to talk about.
I go to therapy every week though.
That's how I protect.
I'll try and answer them as best as I can.
How do you protect your own mental health
when you get emotional?
Or when stream gets emotional?
I mean, I crash out on stream,
but I try to take time off.
I go to therapy now.
I try to focus on my mental health
and also try to separate the idea.
It's really easy to get the job
and life aspect involved.
Like most nine to five jobs,
you go to work, go home,
and then you could separate the two.
Whereas streaming, it's kind of a job,
streaming and social media for that matter
can kind of intertwine and that's bad.
I think future-wise I would keep
any future relationship private.
So just from the experiences of previous things.
I think if I, whenever, if ever I'm in a future
relationship, I you guys would not know ever. So that's number
one, because chat, that's that's the negative pair of
sociality, people get far too involved. Which is what you see
jing see and Ron and them do like they have significant
others, they just don't talk about them or show them. So I
would not do that. What else? How else you protect your
mental health? I mean, I don't know, I think it's
cutting back slowly, like I don't post as much as I used to.
And I think in like, you know, four or five months,
I might cut back another day streaming
or post a little less on YouTube.
Like I don't think I would ever full quit.
I think that's even worse for your mental health to a degree.
I think when creators full stop, it's bad
because when you do full stop,
you don't really have anything to take it to place.
Right, you see that with any job really.
You see people like Corey Kenshin quit and then return
where you see people retire from their career
and then come back because they don't really know
what they want to do.
I think the best thing that you can do
or what I want to do is kind of slowly like fizzle out
to the point where I could just stop.
Kind of what like Jay Schlatt did.
I think Jay Schlatt had a really good approach
at the retirement of content where he's still in the space.
He still collabs when he feels like it,
but he no longer has a posting schedule.
He no longer, you know, really is active anywhere.
But it was like over a very long period of time,
where he was able to slowly cut back as he deemed fit.
But yeah, I mean, outside of that,
I don't really know how I protect my mental health.
Do you ever feel under paranoid?
Yes.
But there's avenues to make that feel better.
I can't go into them now.
And I know it's your project, but that's not
That's something I would talk about on stream.
Can you grow a streaming career today
without parasociality?
No.
Unless your content streaming, no.
Because you're a personality that's live.
YouTube, yes.
You could do social media without a parasocial audience.
If you're a faceless creator, somebody that does video essays.
Somebody like Visual Venture, even though he shows his face,
he doesn't have a parasocial audience
because they don't know his personality.
He's more of a reportive creator.
the second you open your personality up to an individual
or a group of individuals,
you're inviting parasociality,
which is inevitable as a streamer.
There are positives to parasociality
in the sense of like a sense of community.
Like you guys are very supportive of me
and you are kind of like ride or dies,
which is really good in a lot of ways.
But I think the badness you see everywhere else
where people think they're your friend,
they get really weird in stalkery,
stuff like that. You know, they think that I need to solve their problems. I don't know.
There's like a variety of things. But yeah, I don't know. I think there's goods and bads
in that sense. One better you wish the community would streaming community would start to
to enforce.
A boundary I wish the streaming community would
start to enforce.
Not even a boundary.
I wish you would have to submit your ID
or some means of use to be able to use Twitch.
I would wish that in any, I think that's like a,
I guess evasive in the sense of privacy,
but I don't like how you could lie about your age
to watch creators.
The, I don't, not submit your ID.
It's a, I think that would be bad
because it's like a privacy concern.
But I think it's also an issue
when I have people come into my chat
and they're like, I've been watching you since I was 10.
I'm like, dude, that's bad, you know?
Like, I'm not gonna sit here and say,
oh, you know, you don't have freedom of will,
you're not allowed to watch me, but it's like,
there's a level of people breaking TOS to the point
where it's like, hey, man, like this is like,
why are you here?
You know, like you got to get the fuck out of here.
Like that's bad.
So I don't know how they would fix that,
but I don't even think that's really a boundary.
It's more just like, I think a TOS thing, I wish.
Why is that bad?
Because, for example,
Rastafarian keeps fucking redeeming edible.
I get high on strain.
I talk about drugs.
I talk about gambling.
I do all these things, right?
And it's different if you're somebody within TOS
and you're able to watch this content
and understand it in a capacity that, okay, whatever,
but I don't know, I think that's,
not even the topics I'm talking about,
just like, dude, when I was 10 years old,
I was watching like Bayesian Canadian.
Like I was watching Sunday, like I am not a creator
that somebody should watch at that age.
So I don't really know.
I think most people would agree with me in that sense.
Even some of you guys that are younger,
like my audience ranges from like 13 to 30,
but you know, even the younger skewing people would be
like, yeah, you know, you probably shouldn't watch Joe
if you're fucking that young, you know?
It's like most people would agree with that.
And I'll say even a three.
Mr. H.U. for the sub tracks, thank you for the five.
Kira, thank you for the five.
I'm in Harvard for the sub.
David Ray, thank you for the five.
It's an Alfonso for the sub.
Mira for the sub.
My name, thank you for the three.
Don't send bits right now.
I'm honestly new to being a chatterer.
I hope me saying these things like much love
in the messages is into parasocial.
Now that's not parasocial.
Saying much love or I love your content
or like I love what you do is not parasocial.
Parasociality is when somebody
acts like they're your fucking friend.
Like people that actually fit.
Like in the least respectful way,
like I don't know any of you.
Like, or in the least disrespectful way,
I don't know any of you.
You know, like, you know me, I don't know you.
Like, outside of my mods,
but like, not even the Ludwig video.
And I think Ludwig might have been a little too harsh
in that sense, where it's like,
some things he was saying was parasocial aren't,
but like, parasociality is like,
people that are hyper-involved
in the personal aspects of a creator's life
that they have no means of being involved in.
Demian cheer for the sub my anonymous big dimmin for the sub minecraft. Thank you for the two sub minecraft for the sub and Blake
Thank you for the five gift is
But yeah, I don't know I don't know it's not that you're nothing
It's like I I respect and love you guys as a whole
But I don't know any of you individually and I also don't not that I don't want to
But like some people like the creed the weird mindset the weirdo
I'm gonna say weirdo because it is weird as fuck if I'm being honest
I've had people come into chat be like I'm in New Jersey. I'm like around your age
I think we'd be really cool friends. Do you want to come to the bar with me and we could hang out?
That's weird as fuck. Why would you ever ask me that right like that's there's no world where that is a normal sentence to spew
Right, that's like hey, man. Like I think we'd be really cool together. Like can we hang out? No
Ew, like that's fair social.
Because in their mind, they think that
like I'm capable of being their friend.
Right, which is like, you know,
or they'll ask me, they're like,
if you ever met somebody, would you be their friend?
And I'm like, okay, so you're planning on meeting me
in person and trying to hang out with me.
Like, or when I've gone to TwitchCon,
this happened once when I was in TwitchCon.
Met somebody, you going out to the bars tonight?
I'm like, yeah, they're like, where?
I'm like, I'm not telling you that.
I'm not telling like you know if you see me out in public like you know by all means pull up you like hey Joe I
Like your shit, but like if you're like yo, can we like go hang out bar hop later new I don't know you
You know, I don't know you that's like a fucking I don't know what what did you say?
I just went no like there was one time I went to the airport and it wasn't parasocial the guy was nice, right?
I think he realized what he said after he said it he goes hey, Joe. I really I love your shit
I'm like, thanks. We take a picture. He goes. Oh, where are you going? I went. I'm not telling you that I
Went respect I literally went respectfully. I'm not telling you that and he went. Oh, oh, sorry. Yeah
Okay, have a nice day because I'm like, you know, that's like a straight like why would I tell this random guy where I'm going?
Like that's just fucking weird like I
It wasn't creepy it was it was just like a oh yeah, I'm not gonna tell you that like I that wasn't parasocial though
That's not an example of parasociality. That's just an example of like, hey man
I'm gonna keep my privacy ship private like if you're on the same flight as me by all me and two gives a shit
But like I'm not gonna air out where I'm going
Curious of my team of the subcarter it's he being two for the sub geo for the 2000
But he's jb the sub Keaton for the sub
MC thinking of the tier two M and big for the sub dimmin and chris to the sub my thing of the three
Mirs and in my for the sub chat. Don't send that right now, please. Oh my god
I gotta turn on my fan. Hold up. Would you hug a fan?
Um
There was a guy I met in Key West when I was with that Jack Pembroke video. He's hammered. He's like, can I get a hug?
I was like, yeah, sure hug done, but um now for the most part. No, I will not
physically
touch any fan by any means necessary like I even if we take a photo I'll like lean in but like I'm not
I'm not having any contact whatsoever uh so yeah that's also just a personal you know
what about a gap up that's different you know what I mean you know what I mean like taking
picture wrapping your arm around somebody. I ain't doing that. But like, that's different.
All right. Uh, hold up. I gotta upload this and then we're gonna lock in.
Maybe not parasitiality. The only other example I would say is like, I met people that have
cried when they met me, and that's really awkward for me. And so I don't want to say like,
keep it together. But like, I kind of freak out when that happens, because I have no idea how to
respond to that. I'm just letting you know. Like if you cry in front of me, I will immediately become
very awkward, because I don't know what to do. Yeah, so I know like that's that's happened
like three times maybe uh it stopped crying oh yeah no i tell it well because it's like what
am i supposed to like comfort you like i don't what are you doing that situation it's just it's
just so awkward it's just it's just so awkward i it's because it's like i'm just standing there
and then it's just like oh my god and i'm just like this is this is this is you know weird i guess
Eat the edible, did he redeem it?
G over the five.
Fern, Luke, Jarmie, and Matt for the sub.
Hope you see my messages starting for the bits.
Yeah, please, no more bits.
I'll read what you said, but please no more bits.
Stop sending bits.
Said bits earlier, we appreciate you,
and take care of your mental health.
Yeah, I appreciate that, Gio.
Thank you, bro.
I don't really know what else I could say, though,
but I appreciate it.
Lola and Devu for the sub, did he redeem it?
You missed my bits from earlier.
Love the stream yesterday.
Love seeing you enjoy your job.
You're one of one big dog.
Thank you.
I'll eat one but I have to crush it because this is a 20 so I have to cut it in half.
I don't cut it in half.
I stab it with a chip clip.
Okay, it just went everywhere.
I'm gonna take two random ones. Trust me, this is 10s. You can't even see it. But this
is fucking hell. I gotta show it because people say I'm lying. There's four. I'm gonna take
two
And i'm putting the other two back in the bag
You smoke edibles. No, this is crack. No, i'm kidding. Uh, no you don't smoke edibles the fuck you talking about
That's two milligrams at most and that's 20. Well, um, those are cali ones in new jersey and i'll sell 20s
All right
You know lot in New Jersey actually some dispensaries sell 20s, but it's very rare
Or like smoke shops, but there's like a booth ones
Deadwood take you to the five do you even VP off of the sub Bob lords even the sub
Dingo take you to the five gets its call for the sub and take of the five
You have a fan in Iceland. I actually met a lot of fans in Iceland when I was in Iceland and Blake take you to five
When I was in Iceland I was at a
I was at that chicken place called like Le Coq or something. I
Think it was literally called like Le Coq
or some shit and I was eat it was like Le Coq in I'm so serious and like Reykjavik and
I'm pretty sure it was called Le Coq Le Coq. Let me Google it
Yeah Le Coq I was a good-ass restaurant
You can't see it, but it's like literally Lecoq K. O. C. K. Lecoq ah
And I met people there
They were like Joe Bob. Well, why did I use a British accent? They have a British accent
I'm gonna be so dead ass Icelandic people just sound like me
Maybe I didn't speak enough to them specifically but I had a conversation with them and I was like, you know
You like I left that conversation. I was like that motherfucker sound like he could have been from Philly like
Just the dude in Iceland. I don't know who's teaching ice like Icelandic
And actually, you know what it is because I talked to one woman her name was Gerr and
Deadass her name was ger and I met her at a bar and we were talking and
and
Yes, and we we thought we were I was like how do you guys all know English?
Because I was like all Icelandic people speak Icelandic
For the most part, but like 98% of Icelandic people speaking like fluent English and she was like
it's because all the media is in English and
Gaming she was like a big thing is gaming because Icelandic people
the where they are, the servers they play on are English.
So she was like, if you wanna play video games,
you have to learn English to be able to come
with people in your area.
Cause like they're playing on English servers too.
So it's like a mixture of things.
And in school, they're probably learning English.
But they're like, so that's a big part of it is like,
oh, so our servers are just in English.
So we like, for me to be able to play with people
I need to be able to speak English.
All right.
It's a mixture of stuff as well.
It's not just, oh, they learned it in school.
Cause in that logic, you can be like,
Joe, you should speak fluent Spanish
cause I learned fucking Spanish in school,
but I don't know how to fucking speak Spanish.
Hola, me llamo Jose.
Yo quiero, uh, yo quiero, uh, lay cock.
Um, the restaurant, not dick, but all right.
Not dick, but all right. Anyways, why horror games keep giving you a job?
Can we walk in?
Horror games have given us some truly terrible careers
Jobs that under normal circumstances no sane person would willingly accept these games could just throw you in a haunted building and tell you to survive
But they usually don't and there's yeah, it's like the biggest thing is five nights at Freddy's after night one
returning and going I really need the money I really need the money like you're
getting paid minimum wage you're getting paid minimum wage to potentially get
murdered by animatronics it's like at any any human any human in any financial
situation is not returning to that job that's the point of the lore that you
need the you need more of the lore well I yeah I know but I'm saying just as a
The premise of horror games is like there's multiple nights and every night something weird happens like in plant shop or
Most fears of fathom games or anything really it's like you're getting a weird job and it's like most people an
Hour in are going I'm getting a fuck out of here
Very good reason for that their entire horror games where before anything supernatural even happens
Your primary objective is basically go to your data and job and this setup is everywhere
But what who the closing shift that is such a good good game. I
Forgot about that. That's one of the best shows our organs
Closing shift parasocial was another good one
Lethal company isn't really going to a dead-end job though
I don't say I think mortuary system finnaf and closing shift sure but five to earth not five nights of buddies lethal company
Yeah, you're going to your job every day, but it's like I'm going to a weird
Dimension where I have to collect goods. It's not like a dead-end job
I feel like most horror games do that stuff though to like kind of get you in the groove of normalcy or normalcy and
to feel
Comfortable and then they break that comfort ability and that's how they create horror and suspense is
Is by you knowing that there's something weird that's going to happen and you kind of always just get distracted doing dead-end
Sim work where but why why do horror games keep making this clock game?
Because one of the biggest problems in horror game design becomes much easier to solve when the player has a job if somewhere is obviously
Dangerous why wouldn't you just leave a job solves that problem?
It gives you a reason to be there, and something you're supposed to be doing, and most importantly a reason to stay somewhere that every survival instinct is telling you to abandon.
Imagine walking into an abandoned building at midnight.
You turn the corner, and there's someone hanging from the ceiling.
Most reasonable people now have a very straightforward objective.
Leave, immediately.
And this creates a fundamental problem for horror games.
Developers need the-
I don't know.
If I walked into an abandoned building, and somebody was dead hanging in there,
I don't think I would leave.
I think I would call someone and be like, there's a dead body.
I think if I walked into an abandoned building
and I saw like a humanoid monster hit one of these.
Let me play out a scenario for you guys.
You're in an abandoned building.
This is where I'm leaving.
Like any other casual organ.
You're in an abandoned building and you're doing like an Urban X, you know, YouTube video
and then you hear this and you see this, like run through the walls and it's like any horror
game, that's what's happening.
Like you're seeing, you're seeing like a really weirdly disturbing figure just sprint across
and you're like am I, am I tripping?
Am I seeing things?
No, you're just fucking, you're gonna die.
Like leave.
The player to voluntarily continue moving through a space that is becoming increasingly
hostile.
The easiest solution is physical imprisonment.
Lock the door, break the car, collapse the tunnel, trap the player underground.
It works, but it's conspicuous.
The game is basically reaching through the screen and saying, no, you're not allowed to
leave yet.
Jobs offer something much more elegant, the exit can be completely unlocked, you could
theoretically leave whenever you wanted, but you still have something to do.
In Five Nights at Freddy's you're not just wandering around Freddy Fazbear's Pizza
because you're curious, you're the security guard, sitting in the office is literally
your job.
In the closing shift, the appearance of one creepy customer doesn't immediately
justify abandoning the building, there's still orders coming in, there are drinks
to make, there's a status quo, they're supposed to be at work, and that tiny
piece of narrative scaffolding makes the entire situation more believable.
The game doesn't need to imprison you physically, it imprisons you through obligation.
This also solves a quieter design problem.
The player and the character do not always want the same thing.
The player knows this is a horror game.
The player knows going into the basement is almost certainly a terrible idea, but
the character still needs a believable reason to go down there.
Employment bridges that gap.
You're not entering the basement because your protagonist lost all common sense.
You're entering the basement because what you need to do is down there.
Unfortunately, I agree, but I think that's not the only reason I think they are doing it because the monotonous tasks
Bring you out of the fear so then they can reinstall it at a higher level later on
Because even with this logic even with oh the character knows this is bad, but they have to go there
It's like in chiles are the closing the closing shift
You're working at a coffee shop and a guy is stalking you
She tells like no one like I would be going to my boss being like there's a stalker
I'll be going to the police and going there's a stalker here, right?
She just goes oh that's really weird and then they go home and come back the next day and they just let it keep happening
That's your problem, but a job can also provide something even more like even with FNAF like you could be like
Nah
Like I'm not an expert on FNAF lore, but even with the idea of like, oh, I have to pull up to my work.
I could still go, I'm going to bring a gun to work, you know.
Like, why does nobody ever do that? Why does no one ever do that in any organ?
Can somebody make a realistic organ like Jill's art where it's just like the stalker comes in and at the end of three hours, it's like,
Oh shit, I brought a knife and they stab them, you know, and then it's like, oh, okay. Now now we've done it valuable than motivation
A routine routine is one of whore's best weapons the first time the mortuary assistant asks you to prepare a body
The process is unfamiliar. You're learning where everything is you're following
Johnny thinking of the two subs 307 a really for the sub pixel thank you for the five you help me cope through my mom's
Stage three colon cancer have cancer in the chat. I'm sorry to hear that. She just got it again
So help me you help me through the pain of thinking my mom could die
Well, I wish her mom the best and I hope the treatment goes well as you think of it right
William Ryan for the sub Jackson more for the sub thing over the five five gift
It's nobody for the sub thing over the sub
Locking instructions opening cabinets trying to remember what each tool does
Eventually though you understand it you grab this do that move here repeat hot take mortuary assistant wasn't scary I
Put off playing that game
For years because I thought it would be the scariest shit
I've ever played because the premise of having to like deal with dead bodies is already fucking scary in itself
It wasn't that scary
It wasn't that scary. I
I still got scared. I'm not gonna sit here and act like the game wasn't scary at all.
But like, I expected it to be 9 out of 10 scary. It was probably like a 5.
The game conditions you into a-
You're not tough? I know I'm not tough, but I've played far scarier games.
Pattern. This hallway is empty. That door stays closed. The lights make this sound.
The body lies in this position. None of these details are frightening on their own,
and they're not supposed to be. Their value comes from consistency.
because once the game teaches you what normal looks like, it can violate it.
If a creature is standing in the corner the first time you enter a room.
I like the premise of video game horror that you have a job, you have a task,
you have to go do something, and when shit gets weird, it's too late to leave.
You know, you're doing something normal, you see something mildly suspicious
where the average person wouldn't go, I'm gonna leave, they investigate.
then wall closes off, you're trapped, now it's, I need to actually get out.
Because that's like real, not realistic horror in the sense of like, oh I'm fighting demons.
It's realistic in the sense of, I need to get the fuck out of here, what do I do?
So FNAF, more like FNAF security breach, honestly.
More like FNAF security breach than FNAF 1-3, or 4.
Like Outlasts, yeah, like out, no, no not like Outlasts, no not like Outlasts.
Because you're an idiot if you would go to an insane asylum where reported missing people or murdered people have gone and died.
Like, just going to Outlast, going to the Outlast Asylum in itself is idiotic.
Like, doing that in general is stupid.
Yeah, until dawn.
Until, but the, until Dawn's not that scary, I think it's a very well-written horror, well-wrote horror game, well-written.
Like, until Dawn's like, I'm going on a camping trip. I'm hanging out with my friends.
The ski lift broke and there's a monster here to kill us and now we're stuck on a mountain.
That's scary as fuck, right? Like, that's, like, the premise of the shit where it's like, why not just leave?
The horror movie genre is always worse.
normal movie genre is like, well, he just put a mortgage down on this house.
Well, yeah, there's a demon that lives here from a previous person that killed their whole family.
But we have a 30 year mortgage to pay.
Like, bro, figure it out, you know, like, like if you live in the Conjuring,
like the second I'm playing that fucking clap clap hide and seek game,
And I hear and I go, did you do that?
And my kid goes, no, I go, we're moving.
I'll live in a motel.
Because this is not livable.
This is this is not livable.
Why?
Why I'm not I'm not trying this out sinister.
You you go upstairs and you find
tapes of a psychopath man and hanging dead bodies.
I'm going, I'm not living here.
I go, this house isn't that nice.
This house isn't that nice.
Hell, let's make it an A or B and B.
And have the other people deal with it.
And have the other people and have the other people deal with it.
You know, hell, I'll rent this out.
Let's go live somewhere else.
And if you have the money, obviously, this is dependent on financial situations.
But a lot of the time they're buying pretty, pretty big houses.
And every time they're like,
Oh, we got a four bedroom, five bath house for $300,000.
What a steal!
What a steal!
Oh, I wonder why.
Maybe because there was nine families
that were murdered in the fucking house
and nobody wants to buy it because it's fucking haunted.
And then they find that out 30 minutes into the film
and they don't leave.
That's just a scary room.
You had no expectation it would be anything else.
But if you've walked through that room nine times
and on the 10th trip, something's standing there,
you notice immediately.
The environment has broken one of its own rules.
OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Joe Bart, fucking cameo, hell yeah, hell yeah.
And that auto gets a like.
Run, radiant, my guy.
I love this game.
What game was this?
What game was this?
This was a really scary game.
This was a very scary game because of how unexpected the scare was.
You were you were an assassin that had to kill like medieval creatures and for two hours
Nothing scary happens and then you turn your head and a Momo creature
It's chopped up and a Momo creatures watching you and that that had the scare. That was the scariest fucking moment in the whole game
I'm actually gonna pull that up it that was probably the
The the funniest like scare I've had in a while
Shopped up lock-in
Sorry, I bet I could find it. I'm literally right here. I have to be a most replayed
That's I just want to be up a cup for
Wait, oh freshly seasoned nice and spicy. Oh
You feeling all right
Oh!
Why is this most replaying?
Not great. He has made a blood.
Put salt in his eye.
First attack.
Nobody-
What the fuck is that?
Another muted creature I see.
How are you gonna tell me what you want?
Have a way of ordering?
Oh, that's kinda cool.
Making a little Play-Doh things of what you want.
Blood sausage and a steak.
What the fuck is that?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You want blood sausage in a steak?
Bro because I it's like I'm walking towards it and I don't see it and then I'm looking at it. I'm going oh fuck
like
Bro it though that game is so good like the way they mapped that horror because you get so immersed in this like weird medieval reality
Like it's like this fantasy game and then randomly they just throw this fucker at you
you and you're like oh hell no I don't know why I don't know why I get so
scared though like I played so many horror games I feel like I don't get as
scared as I like it if that was the first word and I ever played I think I
actually would have shit myself but now I don't know and people are extremely
sensitive to broken past yeah I saw the animated version
The jobs naturally create the repetition needed for this.
The coffee shop looks like this, the hallway sounds like this.
The corpse is supposed to be lying like this, until suddenly it isn't.
The horror doesn't need to announce itself, the game can just change one tiny variable
and let your familiarity do the rest.
This is where games like closing shift work so well.
long searches of the game you're simply working at a coffee shop. Oh my god for like 40 minutes
at a time and it removes the stress too so it brings you so out of it. These are the best games
man and it's like it feels repetitive where it's like oh I'm working another day job but it's like
all good horror games have some sort of monotony that that ropes you out of the horror and then
throws you back in and it heightens the fear so much. Take an order make the drink hand it
over clean something repeat it's intentionally boring and because the
tasks are so mundane small abnormalities become disproportionate I'm not
gonna lie I don't think it's very boring I think it's kind of fun if the sim part
of the game is very fun I think it's I think the game is even better if they
can make the like the tasks themselves interesting then the games also sec
only noticeable someone is staring through the window the customer
stays a little too long something moved there's someone standing where
nobody should be standing. The game first teaches you how its world functions, then starts
contaminating that structure. You could put a giant monster in the cafe five minutes into the game,
it would probably scare people, but you'd sacrifice the slow erosion of normality that
makes the setting uncomfortable in the first place. Because that fear comes from watching
something familiar become unsafe. Routine continues while the context surrounding it
collapses. You're still taking orders, making drinks, cleaning tables, but the world
outside that routine becomes increasingly un-
Who is this lesbian at the top right of my screen?
Alright.
Table.
And that creates one of my favorite kinds of horror.
The game never officially tells you the normal part is over now.
Instead, normality and horror begin occupying the same space.
Someone may be stalking you outside.
The building may no longer be safe.
You may have just witnessed something completely inexplicable.
But Table 4 still ordered a latte.
Jobs also solve another major design problem with games. They give a reason
for you to be occupied because if your only objective in a horror game was
watch for the monster, you'd probably be really good at watching through the
monster. So horror games end up dividing your attention. Five Nights at
Freddy's gives you cameras to watch the monsters, but it also gives you
doors, lights, power, audio cues, multiple entrances. The scary part isn't
simply- Got it, dude. It stresses me out so much. I know these are like the
scariest types of games where it's like your character can actually die and there is risk involved.
But like, I don't know, I love a story horror. My favorite horror genre is the dark anthology series.
Like, some of the games aren't that great. I'm not going to sit here and glaze all of them. But
but like, until dawn, the quarry, little hope, uh, Man of Medan, like, all of those are...
I don't know, just interesting, fun games that rope a story in with the horror.
That something's trying to reach you, is that you can't monitor everything simultaneously.
The game deliberately gives you more information than you can comfortably process.
You're never supposed to feel completely caught up.
Look at one camera and you're ignoring another.
Check the hallway and you're not checking your power.
Close the door and you're burning a finite resource.
Every decision creates an information deficit somewhere else.
And that's where the pressure comes from.
The mortuary assistant does something similar.
You're performing procedures.
Oh my god, I think, I don't even think it has to be a job.
I don't think it has to be a job.
I think it just has to be something that ropes you out of it.
Doki Doki Literature Club.
You're just, for nine hours, you're just playing a weird dating sim.
Like, you're so involved with something else that when something weird happens, you're like, freak the fuck out.
Or, uh, what was the other one that was really popular recently? And it's like a clone of the girl, and she, like, you live in a room with her.
My side. My side.
That requires concentration.
Same thing, same thing, you're just like playing a random game, you're involved in something
that's like so not scary at all, and then it like puts a weird creepy twist, fourth
wall break, that fucking ropes you in.
The game quietly alters the environment around you, which constantly forces a decision.
Do I keep working, or do I investigate what I just saw?
And more importantly, can I afford to stop what I'm doing wrong enough to check?
That's much more effective than simply placing a monster directly in front of the player,
because horror thrives in the space between certainty and uncertainty.
But if you see a monster constantly, eventually you understand it.
But when you're distracted, you start wondering what happened while you weren't looking.
And eventually the game reaches the perfect situation.
You know something's wrong, you know you should be paying attention, or you have
a job to do.
This is probably the most important part.
A good horror game forces the player to act against their unsurvivaled instincts.
This is horror game design 101, you hear something in the dark, you do not want to go toward it,
but fortunately that's where the objective is.
This is why I'm mundane tasking become terrifying, your brain is telling you stay here, the game
is telling you go over there and if you want to progress the game eventually wins.
But there's an elegant way to do it, there's an elegant way to make people do tasks
where they have to explore areas they don't want to without it being A to B, B to
A to B B to A B to A A to B like the shit where it's like
I'm walking to a door the doors locked. I have to go walk back to find a key
I find the key I open it up turns out there's a chain lock and I have to go find fucking bolt cutters and to find the
Bolt cutters I have to walk back to point A again and something scary is there like those are the worst horror games
Walk into that hallway you open the door you had to send the stairs you can decide that absolutely nothing good is waiting down there
Eventually, though, you're the one you ask to start walking.
That agency makes anticipation worse.
The game is not simply showing you a bad decision, it's making you participate in one.
You know the risk, you understand what's probably about to happen, and you do it anyway.
So, in horror games, exploit this constantly.
They create an objective important enough that the player willingly exposes themselves
to the danger.
A locked door says, you have no choice, an objective says, you do have a choice.
You just can't progress until you make the bad one.
horror games are constantly searching for believable ways to make the player
endanger themselves and a job provides almost an infinite supply. And conveniently
horror protagonists appear to have the worst scheduling luck imaginable because
these jobs are almost always happening at night. Obviously the darkness helps the
horror, reduced visibility matters, shadows conceal information, every
hallway becomes hard. And that's like the coolest thing about horror is like
the second you just make it nighttime everything immediately becomes far
more scary because it actually just taps into like a genetic fear baked into humans.
That lack of visibility and nighttime is when scary shit comes out that wants to kill you.
Like your body innately hates the darkness because darkness equals scary nighttime predators
that eat humans.
And that's like, I don't know, I find that it's like no shit, but it's like, I find
That part was fascinating about horror that like the darkness in itself in itself immediately ups the fear factor
I'm gonna read but there's another not me. Okay. We got a big tough guy gondor over here not me though. I
Love the darkness
Actually, I love the doctors so much. I go out in the woods all the time and just sit in the night
I just wait for something to take me isn't the night shift work so well
Workplace or design. I'll beat the shit out of anything that comes my way and to be occupied
You're standing in a space designed for hundreds of people, completely alone.
They used to call me punchy in high school because I used to just punch things.
And that creates an uncanny kind of emptiness.
Night security-
Locker, punch it.
Hole, punch it.
Person, punch it.
Builds almost this entire atmosphere around this.
An office tower is not inherently terrifying,
but remove the employees darken the windows and turn off all the-
That punch metal for fun?
Is that a real quote some kid said on like a school bus?
You don't want to fuck with me, I punch telephone poles for fun.
Lights and leave one copier running somewhere down the hall and suddenly that same environment
feels completely wrong.
The workspace becomes a liminal space, not because the building itself has changed but
because you're experiencing it outside of its intended context.
Game designers get enormous mileage out of this, they don't need to build an obviously
haunted castle.
They can take a completely ordinary environment and alter one variable.
time, a supermarket after closing, a school at midnight, an office tower at 3am, a restaurant
after everyone's gone home, these places become frightening precisely because we already
understand what they're supposed to feel like, and the game already has a perfect excuse
for why you're there.
Someone has to work the night shift.
Congratulations, it's you.
Lethal Company takes this entire concept and removes any remaining subtlety.
Most horror game jobs are primarily narrative scaffolding.
Lethal Company turns employment into an actual gameplay system.
you have a quota and need scrap so you land on da-
I don't think lethal companies scary
I think lethal companies like one of those fun friend slop horror games
same with repo
like, I don't think either of them are scary
I think it's just like, fun
dangerous moons, enter facilities and collect whatever scrap you can find
and try to bring it back a lot
every survival instinct you have eventually tells you that a run has gone far enough
but you look at your quota and suddenly maybe one more trip
this is what makes the system so-
you look at your quota and then you get greedy and then you go oh we have so much more time
I could get so much more money right now so effective the game barely what if we went 300 over a quota
you have to force you into danger it can just create an incentive structure and let it ruin your
and then the nutcracker fucking 12 gauge shotguns your head off wife so greedy to stay longer to
to split up. You go back for one final piece of scrap. This is a classic risk-reward design
except horror changes how that calculation feels. Most games reward risk with better
loot. Lethal company does that too, but the risk is knowingly walking back into a building
where three different things have already tried to eat you. It becomes a push-your-luck
loop instead. Leave now with your mediocre haul or gamble your safety for a better
one. And because a core converts that scrap into future survival, greed stops feeling
optional. The company doesn't care whether you're comfortable, it doesn't care if
You're scared. It just wants a number, a number that keeps getting higher, which makes
lethal company one of the purest versions of the horror game job. The monsters are dangerous,
but your employer is the reason you had to meet them in the first place.
Having a minimum wage job sounds boring, and that's exactly why it works in horror.
A job establishes normality, it creates repetition, it divides your attention, it
gives the world rules, and then it gives the designer opportunity to violate these
rules. Most importantly, it gives the player believable read-
Two horror game being a stock broker on Wall Street during the 2008 financial crisis.
There's no monsters, you're just one of the guys on the floor having to make phone calls.
Somebody, somebody, an average everyday person in the 1920s right before the fucking Great
Depression, right before money just tanks.
This isn't to repeatedly put themselves in danger.
The task itself can be completely mundane, because once the player understands what they're
supposed to be doing, the developer can start making that increasingly difficult.
Not by changing the job, but changing everything around it.
And eventually the essential question stops being, can I survive this monster?
It becomes, can I survive the monster and still finish the shift?
Maybe that's why horror games keep giving us jobs, because horror works best when
running away isn't quite that simple.
It needs to be something pulling you deeper into the situation, or reason you
feel trapped. A reason to feel like you need to open that door. And games have discovered
that obligation can be stronger than curiosity, stronger than common sense, sometimes even
stronger than self preservation. The monster can be standing somewhere in the dark, the
lights can be flickering, half your coworkers can already be dead, but none of that changes
one horrifying fact. You are still on the clock.
I think the scariest monster still, last thing I'll say, I think the scariest monster
still in any horror game. It's kind of a dark shadow figure, kind of like in Chila's Art where it just
showed it. With nothing you could really make out of them, but their eyes. Like you could see their
figure and their eyes and they're just standing in the corner just watching you. That's why
the Sleep Paralysis horror games, Silent Still. Those Silent Still 1 and 2 are some of the
scariest horror games I've played because the idea of being unable to control anything and having
something watch you at the same time is the like it's like the lack of control that like makes
you so scared at least for me like being like being unable to move and knowing that something bad
is gonna happen is so fucking scary. Like when I hear people tell stories about just sleep paralysis
in general. That's like the fucking worst. The the full on fear of like just waking up in real life
and being unable to move while also being in a dream state where you're like hallucinating creepy
shit. Oh my god. And there's people that like deal with it every day or not every day like once a
week once a month. Mid tag of the three 70 year old college students studying to be an AMT and
not sure if I'm gonna keep doing it or try something else any advice. I mean you could
You know, still do that on the side and then start out something, you know, and see if you could work your way into that.
But I think full quitting one and moving to another.
I mean, I don't really know what's best for you, you know, I think usually maintaining that and seeing if you still fuck with it.
While also kind of pursuing something else on the side and seeing how much you like that as well is usually the best thing.
How do you meet somebody person with a stream of watches?
You often enter into the conversation with a form of person.
a form of parasocialty on full dockability
because they realize they don't actually know you,
has a mobile, do you ever find it mildly amusing?
It's a wild concept to think about
from an outside perspective.
How often do you need somebody in person
in the stream who watches you often
and enters the conversation with parasocialty?
If I interact with 10 people,
I don't really recognize parasocialty
from like nine of them.
Like if you meet me and you're going,
oh, I like fuck with your streams.
I watch you every day, you help me through some shit.
You know, I really love your content
and then you bring up a video or like a thing.
Like that's not weird.
Like, I don't know.
I think like parasociality, like showing itself
in person is usually really rare.
It's usually when they're like trying to be,
trying to take that one-off conversation
into something else is usually when it's parasocial.
Like, if you meet me, it should be, hey,
can I get a picture, 30 second conversation
and then leave versus being like,
oh, where are you going after this?
Where, what's going on?
Like, you're not, you're not joined in the plans, man.
Refund the scream.
I've been like losing my voice.
Cricket and Tis the sub, Lady of the sub.
Rotor and Lady of the sub, Rio and area of the sub.
Cosmic and Zach from the sub, Amish,
Rui and Pixel figure the three.
I'm gonna piss and then we're gonna hop into the next video.
Count me down
you
you
I'm sorry.
Oh my god.
I defeat Daisy, my bad.
Now an iron for the sub, meow, thank you for the 10 giftids.
Bowl and Lady of the sub, thank you for the 10 giftids, meow,
genuinely, meow and destroy.
Stick it, cricket, for the sub miles, thank you for the three.
All right.
Yeah, now she's going to take it fast.
CW for the sub, iron for the sub.
All right, yeah, next video.
Lock in.
Excuse me.
Next video.
How I'd survive every final destination movie.
Today I'm going to be going over every mistake and bad decision made in all six final destination movies and explain what I would have done differently to survive.
Starting.
The problem is, the premise of Final Destination is it's unsurvivable.
Like if you don't know what Final Destination is, every movie, one of the characters has a premonition of the death of them and their friends.
They avoid it, and then death comes to take its dues anyway.
You know, you can't cheat death.
That's the premise.
You were meant to die, and you didn't die,
so death is gonna come kill you in bizarre ways.
You know, a fucking lawnmower blade detaches
and flings out and fucking decapitates you,
or some shit as you're walking across the street.
You slip on a bed of marbles
and then land on a wooden stake, you know,
or like really absurd shit.
If you did something different, yeah, you survived that instance, but you'll die a day later anyway.
Like, if you get into the lore of the film, there's ways that people survive.
Like, the idea of dying and then coming back. Yeah, you can get revived and beat death. That's only happened once.
That, or if you kill someone. Like, you could take somebody else's life.
So I don't understand how he, maybe he's going to describe how he survives each individual scenario,
but like the only real ways you survive Final Destination is if you murder someone
or die, meaning your heart stops and they resuscitate you.
And with the original or following Alex Browning, a high school student's preparing to
fly to Paris with his classmates. While sitting on Flight 180, Alex suddenly has a permission
of the plane exploding surely after takeoff, and killing everyone on board.
Great way to start, huh?
Well, when small details from the vision start happening exactly the same way in reality,
he completely panics, gets into a fight with Carter and ends up being removed from the
plane along with several other students and a teacher.
Seconds later, Glite 180 explodes in the sky.
At this point, I don't care how ridiculous Alex sounds.
If somebody describes a plane explosion in detail, gets dragged off the aircraft, and then the plane actually explodes,
you're probably getting pulled over by TSA and getting investigated by the FBI.
In reality, if you storm off a plane, yeah, you're probably getting charged with like a form of terrorism and going to prison.
Like, uh, that would, that would be pretty badly for you.
That guy now has my full attention. That's for sure. The survivors though are Alex, Claire, Carter, Terry, Todd, Billy, and their teacher Miss Luton.
And after the crash, most of them are understandably traumatized. The problem is nobody really understands what Alex saw or why they survived.
So everyone tries to go back to normal. Todd is the first person death comes for. A chain of tiny accidents in his bathroom eventually leaves him strangled by a clothesline.
and because nobody sees what happened, his death gets ridden off as self-inflicted.
If I'm Alex, if I'm Alex, I'm simply never taking a shower.
If I'm Alex, I'm simply never going to the bathroom.
I'm peeing my pants and I will get nowhere near a clothesline so that the clothesline
doesn't wrap around my neck and I don't die.
Like, what are you gonna say?
This is the moment I'm writing down absolutely everything I remember from the plane,
where everyone was sitting roughly when they died in the vision.
What happened first ends anything unusual I noticed before the explosion.
Alex eventually works out the order.
But having that information-
Are you really remembering the vision that prominently?
Like if I'm sitting on a plane and I'm falling asleep and I have a vision
that we're all gonna die and I wake up and I start seeing some of the weird shit,
I'm going, I'm getting the fuck out of here.
After that happens, I don't think you're gonna be like,
let me replay this memory in my brain.
Okay, so he was sitting in 37B and he was holding a Diet Coke Silver bullet.
He was taking a sip out of it.
It was probably about three ounces empty, nine ounces full.
And so that really matters in some way.
Like what you're gonna you're gonna remember the hyper specifics of this story.
To written down immediately would save a lot of guessing later.
Alex and clear visit the funeral home and meet William Bloodworth, who explains
that the survivors disrupted death's design and that death is now coming back for them.
This man is standing over my dead friend's body, speaking like he has read the instruction
manual.
So, I'm asking every question I can think of before leaving.
How does the order-
The lore, though, the order matters, so in Final Destination, the order that they
died in the Vision is the order that they die in real life.
You learn that this guy was a part of one of the Visions, and that in the sixth
film, spoilers. There's a woman that was supposed to die before him. So the reason he knows all
this shit and he's still alive is because there's a woman that's still alive that has to die before
him, before he dies.
For the work, can it be interrupted? What counts as saving someone? Does death immediately move
to the next person? Bloodworth gives them enough information to understand the basic
problem. And from there, I would start treating Alex's premonitions and strange
Ohmans lick emergency alerts. Unfortunately, Terry never gets that chance. During an argument
outside a cafe, she steps backward into the road and gets hit by a bus so quickly that nobody...
If I was Terry, I would have looked both ways. The number one rule I learned as a child is
before crossing the street, you need a look if a car is oncoming. She got clipped by a bus,
I would never get in the road.
Can react.
That death teaches me,
I would walk around in a bubble suit
that would protect me from immediate impact.
Just means something very important about this franchise.
Standing near traffic is now banned.
If death can-
What the fuck?
Standing near-
Standing near traffic is banned.
So he's just gonna live the life of Iris
or like whatever her name is.
She's like the last lady in the sixth film.
And she lives her whole life in like a cabin with nothing in it, and is constantly paranoid about dying.
If I'm in this scenario and I see this, the only thing I'm doing after talking to the mortician is I'm going,
alright, you guys are gonna electrocute me till my heart stops, and then you're gonna try and resuscitate me, and if I die, it's jeej.
Because the only other way, like, wait for my heart to stop and then revive me.
And if you don't bring me back, it's jeech.
You know, because what life are you living?
You have to sit in a hole and just not interact with any sharp objects,
no mirrors, no fire, no cars, no moving objects, no motors, no Wi-Fi, no radiation.
You can only eat soft foods. You can't own a blender.
Anything that's electrically involved you can't interact with because it could go really wrong.
You can turn literally anything into part of a chain.
And then guess what?
And then guess what?
In this movie, if you avoid all of that, guess what death does?
Guess what death does?
They give you cancer.
I'm giving roads, train tracks, construction sites, and then death gives you cancer.
And you still die.
The alerts.
Unfortunately, Terry never gets that chance.
an argument outside a cafe, she steps backward into the road and gets hit by a bus so quickly
that nobody can react.
Is now banned.
If death can turn literally anything into part of the chain, I'm giving roads, train
tracks, construction sites, open flames, sharp objects, and heavy machinery as much
distance as-
So you're living the life of a bubble kid.
You're living the life of a bubble kid.
You're never leaving your house and you're living within a fort.
You're stuck in a Mr. Beast competition for the rest of your life.
That's what this is. I'm stuck in a Mr. V's competition. I'm in the last leaves the circle survives
But I'm never leaving the circle possible
You can't remove every risk from your life
But you can stop giving death a menu with 50 options on it and speaking of survival decisions with a much better success rates
If you're enjoying the video so far subscribe
I can't promise it'll help you cheat death
But at least nobody has ever been hit by a bus or clicking the button
Alex eventually realizes the survivors are being targeted in the same order they would have died on Flight 180.
He rushes to Ms. Luton's house after working out she's next.
But her kitchen has already become a death trap.
A cracked mug leaks liquid, appliances spark, a fire starts, and she ends up being stabbed before the house explodes.
What is going on?
This whole sequence is exactly why I'd want the next person in the list in an empty, controlled room.
No kitchen.
For the rest of their life you want them to live in a bubble room?
I don't understand.
This is like, I love like the how I'd survive the purge, how I'd survive the long walk.
You can't survive the war, like the, canonically, you're fucked.
Like you're going, if you're in final destination and you have a premonition, you survive
it and you see everybody die, you're fucking cooked.
No matter what you do.
No garage, no bathroom full of glass, and definitely no workshop.
Give me a mostly empty room with mattress, bottled water, and somebody washing from a
safe-
Bottle of water, tough shit, it actually was water from that- what's the- this was
during the Hillary Clinton election, uh, versus Trump 2016, what was the- it was a
river in like Missouri, not Missouri, in like Michigan, or Minnesota, Flint, Michigan.
Yeah, sorry, you have Flint, Michigan fucking bottled water.
Shit, it was actually the one bottle in the factory that had fucking pesticides in it and you drank it and you died
You know, oh, I'm in a padded room of the mattress
Ruff the mattress is actually infected with infested with bugs
That kill you at distance and I'm set it might look ridiculous
But after seeing a teacher get taken out by half the objects in her kitchen
I'm fine looking ridiculous a difficult part is that nobody knows how long death will wait before trying again
So yes you do!
Yes you do!
In the sixth movie death waits like 60 years!
It perpetually won't stop.
It perpetually tries to kill this woman for like her whole life.
It's not, what are you going to live in a padded room forever?
Oh, I wouldn't.
Then you're just a prisoner.
Lock the next person in a room and assume we're done after 10 minutes.
We need-
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
Shit shit. Oh my god. I just spilled my fucking gamer subs
I think it's fine it didn't touch my keyboard
That's all that matters. I really need to wash this mousepad. I
I forgot to spilled a million things on it recently.
Ships.
Someone stays awake watching them, someone else keeps track of the next person in the
order and we rotate before everyone gets exhausted, as sleep deprivation would eventually
create its own problems, especially when we're already paranoid about every loose object
in the room.
I'd rather have an organized system than seven terrified people staring at a ceiling
van for three days straight.
The remaining survivors are driving together when Carter decides he's tired of being scared
and stops his car on a railway crossing.
Now, this is quite possibly the worst place in the entire city to have an argument with
death.
His car stalls, a train approaches and Alex manages to pull him free just seconds before
the train destroys the vehicle.
Now, saving Carter causes death to skip him, but to breathe from the crash immediately
decapitates Billy.
From that point onward, we have actual evidence that intervention can change the order.
I am keeping the group together and assigning everyone a watcher.
If somebody is next, at least two people are watching them constantly.
And everyone else stays far enough away that one accident doesn't kill the entire group.
Alex later realizes he misunderstood the seating order on the plane and that clear
is actually next.
He races to her house and finds her trapped in a car surrounded by live electrical cables
and leaking fuel.
manages to somehow save her. Apparently making Death skip again. Six months later, Alex,
Clear and Carter travel to Paris and start wondering whether they really escape. But Alex suddenly
realizes Death may have circled back to him, and almost immediately, each in reaction sends a huge
sign swinging toward him. Carter saves Alex, only for the sign to swing back around toward Carter
as the movie ends. Personally, if I somehow make it six months that a single accident,
The last thing I'm booking is a trip to the exact city flight when 80 was headed to I'm treating the client as a that's valid
That's valid. That's valid. That's the first thing you said that I'll agree with
That's the first thing you said that I'll agree with. I'm not skipping this video David
I'm sorry, buddy. You don't have to watch it. You could get out of here. Yeah
No, I'm probably not gonna get to the destination that the plane crashed
I think I would avoid going to Paris for the rest of my life warning not a victory
So would I survive this video is boring all that show you could tap out of a stream. What's that in sub only?
Why don't we original final destination?
Well, I think my best chance comes from taking Alex seriously much earlier and in turning the death order into an actual plan as
It's best to keep everyone together remove obvious hazards around whoever is next
Document every premonition and never stand near traffic because this movie has permanently destroyed that idea for me
However, this is only the first of many movies, but it's been a year, and we're back again.
Final Destination 2 follows Kimberly Corman, who's driving toward-
I don't think I've seen this one. I've seen the newest two. I've seen the first one. I think I've seen the third one.
Just because they're all random, dude. It doesn't matter what you watch, honestly.
Staytona Beach with her friends, when she gets stuck behind a longing truck.
She suddenly has a premonition of an enormous highway pileup where logs crash through cars,
vehicles explode, and basically everyone around her dies.
Definitely a climactic start to say the least.
Kimberly wakes up before entering the highway and blocks the entrance ramp with her car,
preventing several drivers from reaching the crash.
The pileup then happens exactly as she saw it,
although her own friends are killed when another vehicle crashes straight into Kimberly's car.
And before we go any further, I think this movie deserves credits for making an entire generation uncomfortable driving behind logging trucks, because...
I-
I feel like driving behind a logging truck is scary regardless of whether or not you've seen Final Destination. It's like driving next to a fucking semi-truck. It's just a big-ass car that something could go wrong.
you know the scariest shit to drive behind is the the trucks that drag uh like broken down cars
like a tow truck but as like nine of them on the car or just a gas truck honestly that's even worse
driving next to a gas truck is like just a moving a moving container of flammable liquid
I know I am but Kimberley has now saved a group including officer Burke Eugene
Simply thank you for the five gift it's free cat Nora and her son Tim lottery winner Evan and pregnant driver
Isabella since we've already watched the first movie my strategy here is much faster
I'm immediately finding out everything available about flight 180 if a nearly identity, but I'm not gonna lie
I feel like the only method right now it like I mean is there a world where you could go kill someone?
The only, I mean, you would have to survive death long enough.
You enlist in the military.
You enlist in the military, hope that you get drafted to a frontline battle in some sense.
Kill someone.
It's not murder.
You know, you've transferred death to them.
A good event happened one year earlier and make a deal with a dying sick person.
that I could fucking smother them to death?
Those survivors started dying afterward.
I don't need three deaths before I believe it.
Kimberly eventually tracks down Clear Rivers,
who is now living inside a psychiatric facility
because apparently hiding in a padded room
is the closest anyone in this franchise has to having common sense.
Like, is it that difficult to actually use your brain?
After winning the lottery,
his apartment becomes a ridiculous collection of hazards.
Fire, a jammed disposal unit, broken windows,
and eventually a-
Who would fucking put their hand in a fucking garbage disposal?
Ha ha ha ha!
On or off?
You're going awch jammed, I'm gonna wedge my fucking hand in this.
A falling fire escape ladder that kills him outside.
Did he slip on spaghetti?
Fire escape la-
ladder that kills him outside.
If I know death is coming, my apartment is getting inspected
like I'm preparing for the world's strictest health and safety audits.
Unplug appliances shut off the stove remove loose objects avoid balconies and windows and keep the exits clear
Every funnel destination death starts with something tiny so the earlier you interrupt to the chain the better Tim and Nora are next
Tim gets crushed by a falling plane of glass after leaving the dentist
I don't know like I get what he's saying and he is right in the lore sense of the film as well that the more
You avoid the higher the chances are that you survive for a longer period of time
But they all die in extremely absurd ways like
in the in the newest one
There's a guy that works at a tattoo shop and his nose rang gets caught on
A chain hooked to a ceiling fan
And it spins and gets him to the point where he's like tiptoed
Trying to not have his nose rang get pulled out and then I think he like gets set on fire or something
like it'll just be like you oh you have a nipple ring you should take that out
because your nipple rings gonna get caught on something that's then gonna
drag your body across the asphalt and you're gonna die like having any anything
in general is dumb and the later Nora is decapitated by an elevator after her
hair gets caught once again everyday environments keep turning into traps and
And this is also why I'd avoid elevators completely.
Stairs may be tiring, but stairs have significantly fewer moving metal doors.
The group eventually learns-
Too bad that when you try to take the stairs, somebody from a few floors above was eating a banana that day and dropped it,
and you end up slipping on it and then falling down the stairs, cracking your head open.
...is that the order is reversed because the Flight 180 survivors accidentally changed the lives of these people before the highway crash.
Creating a ripple effect, death is now correcting.
At this point, I wouldn't waste time trying to understand whether death has an administrative
department tracking all of this.
Yeah, he did get his dick wrang ripped out by an MRI machine.
That also happened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They turned an MRI machine on like to the max level and he had all of his piercings in
and then it like ripped out his cock ring.
Uh...
Oh my god.
That's like disgusting to think about.
Write down the new order and work with it.
they also become convinced that Isabella's unborn baby could create new life and break death's design.
So, Officer Burke has her detained for protection. The idea makes sense based on what they know.
Although, I would be careful about betting everyone's survival on a theory none of us have tested.
Keep Isabella safe? Absolutely. But continue. I'm gonna air a potentially upsetting idea.
And this is purely hypothetical.
If the baby being born doesn't stop the cycle.
To protect the people currently on the list instead of assuming the something else would.
The baby solves everything.
The group heads towards the hospital and cats SUV.
But a tire blows and they crash on a farm.
Cat becomes pinned inside the vehicle and rescue workers arrive.
Now, this is where everyone needs to stop touching things.
As one responder accidentally triggers the airbag, forcing Cat's head backward into a plane and killing her.
That sends off another chain reaction where barbed wire slices Rory apart.
Once a potential death sequence starts building a-
Yeah, great bar there!
Round someone-
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I want everyone else backing away and one person making careful decisions.
Great part of that. Really, really, really got rid of it.
Life people rushing around have a machinery gives death five extra hands to work with.
But Kimberly, Clear, and Burke wish the hospital expecting Isabella to be in danger.
Only to learn she was never supposed to die in the pylon.
Isabella safely gives birth, meaning their entire new life theory doesn't apply the way they expect it.
Seconds later, an oxygen explosion kills Eugene and Clear.
But Kimberly finally remembers-
Yo, you really could, like, yo...
Say somebody's on hospice?
And it's like, they're gonna die in a day.
You go, hey, you know...
Am I allowed to, you know, maybe cut this a day short, or...
remembers another possibility someone who dies and is brought back might create a new life of their own
She drives an ambulance into a lake clinically dies and doctors managed to resuscitate her and so Kimberly and Burke appear to
survive and credit to Kimberly here because betting your life on a completely untested theory takes guts
Although if I'm ever attempting a planned near-death experience, it's happening inside the hospital. Oh, you only get what life they have left
Oh fuck
With a crash team standing by not at the bottom of a lake then the movie ends at a barbecue
Where they learned that a boy and a newborn means Brian was saved from
Being hit by a van earlier. He then what I lived like a hundred and forty like what I be a rory intervened
But before anyone can properly process that information a barbecue explodes and Brian gets blown apart
Apparently death keeps receipts, but Final Destination 3 takes us to an amusement park, which sure is pretty random,
but here we are. High school student Wendy Christensen is celebrating graduation with her friends, before boarding a roller coaster called Devil's Flight.
Wendy takes photos of everyone, then has a premonition where the ride suffers a catastrophic failure and kills every passenger.
She panics, several people get off, and the roller coaster crashes exactly as predicted,
killing Wendy's boyfriend Jason and others who remained on board. At this stage of the franchise,
my rule is incredibly simple. If somebody has a screaming-
My rule is incredibly simple. No fun whatsoever. Anything that seems remotely cool or interesting,
cut it out. Watching a movie, no go. Going on a walk? No go. You're going to sit inside
on a chair that removes bed sores so you have air wait no you can't do that you can't even lay still
because then you get bed sores and die and if you lay still and you hook up a machine that removes
the bed sores then it's gonna malfunction and kill you anyway taking weeds and no go melt down
about a specific disaster seconds before it happens then I follow them as it's clearly
approving to work but the survivors include well realistically you just gotta you gotta go to
a sperm bank, fast-track your donation to a person, and then survive nine months.
If you create new life in that time span, or time frame, you're good.
Kevin, Ashley, Ashlyn, Frankie, Lewis, Ian, and Aaron.
Kevin researches flights when he explains the whole test is...
Yeah, nine months of solitary confinement, effectively.
And then you get the callback.
Sorry, I'm sure you're infertile.
Aww...
Aww...
Aww...
Dying situation to Wendy.
And eventually they realize the photos Wendy took before the crash
seem to contain clues about how everyone will die.
This is probably the most useful warning system we've had so far.
So I'm printing every photo, putting them in order, and studying the background as carefully as the people themselves.
Reflections, signs, objects, anything unusual could matter.
Wendy does this eventually, but I turn it into a group project instead of letting half the survivor-
Why is there a picture of 9-11?
F***ers dismiss her.
Ashley and Ashlyn are the first victims, dying after becoming trapped inside malfunctioning tanning beds.
Beds my country wow what a way to die getting burned alive in a fucking tanning bad
Abusion here is very straightforward if death is hunting me
I am not voluntarily climbing into a machine that closes around my entire body and cooks me with heat
Tanning beds were already off my list and final destination has done nothing to improve the reputation
Their deaths convinced Wendy that Kevin was right so the two begin using the photos to predict what happens next
But Franky's photo leads them to believe his death will involve some kind of fan and while they're trying to find him a chain reaction
Sends the engine fan from Kevin's truck through the back of Franky's head
Then they rush to save Lewis at the gym his photo suggests danger around strength or equipment
Yet Lewis continues working out while mocking the entire idea and the wait machine
Eventually crushes his head if two people arrived telling me they predicted the previous deaths and have a photo that appears to show mine
My workout is over. I don't care if I'm once set away from a personal record. The dumbbells will still be there tomorrow.
Assuming death doesn't somehow launch one through my house.
Next are Ian and Aaron, who work at a hardware store, which might be the single worst workplace possible when an invisible force can manipulate objects.
Wendy manages to save Ian from falling materials, causing death to skip him and move to Aaron, who falls onto a nail gun.
the import- OOOOOOOH!
Having a nail gun shoot right through your fucking skull?
Listen here, is that saving someone doesn't finish the problem.
Once the target survives, everyone you remember, the order may move immediately.
And I'd have the next person already protected before attempting the same.
Wendy later realizes her sister Julie is one of the remaining survivors, and rushes to a tricentennial fair.
Kevin saves Julie from being dragged into dangerous machinery,
But Julie's friend, Perry is killed by a flagpole because she was also on the roller coaster
Kevin is then nearly killed by an explained propane tank before Wendy intervenes
But he appears and blames Wendy for Eren's death only what if I just kill one of the other people on the group?
Is that Fox I know this what if I what if I like they're gonna die anyway
Like, I just, I'm being real here.
It's like, you know, it's a mere you scenario.
Like, I mean, if we're both fucked,
let's just like, you know, do get out, somebody wins.
We're still probably die, that's messed up.
Dude, you're in a movie scenario
where death itself wants you dead.
Like, you're all bets are off at this point.
fireworks accident to send equipment crashing down.
It's final destination, not the purge.
Yeah, you would get charged with murder and kill him.
Honestly, by this point, I'm leaving the fair
another W Blair entirely fireworks machinery.
So you would murder Cress,
well, who said I would be on a roller coaster with Cress?
Vehicles, crowds, and temporary structures
are basically a final destination starter pack.
Five months later, Wendy is riding a subway
when she notices more ominous signs
and unexpectedly reunites with Julie and Kevin.
She gets into their combination
this time of the train crashing
and killing all three of them.
The movie ends though as they desperately try to stop it.
There isn't even time.
I don't know, man.
I think I really would just try to make my heart stop.
I think that's probably gotta be the move, man.
I like the ram in the car into the lake, the Lake Pryo.
Yeah, that's definitely the tech.
But you have to bank that the EMTs get you
before you're like dead, dead, but get you after your heart stops.
You can't kill yourself.
No, because well, you can't, you can't have your brain stop,
but you could have your heart stop to build a planet.
If I'm Wendy here, the moment of these ominous, I would eat a lot of beef.
Oh my God.
Wait, I have, I have the ultimate attack.
I would give myself anaphylaxis.
So I, because I have alpha gal, I would, I would eat a, just a shitload of beef and then I would go to the hospital and I would just like kind of chill out front, you know, like kind of like loiter a little bit.
And then like six hours later, when like the alpha gal sugar molecule starts digesting and I go into anaphylaxis and I just pass out in a fucking sidewalk and my heart stops, they resuscitate me.
And then, and then the government tick actually turns out to be a superpower.
The sign starts showing up, I'm off that train and at the very next stop.
And I'm taking Julie and Kevin with me.
Waiting until you're sure is how everyone in this franchise dies.
You're already dead before you can plan that.
You don't think I get like three beef burritos from Chipotle that fast?
Kevin with me.
Waiting until you're sure is how everyone in this franchise dies.
Honestly, I think I'm surviving Final Destination 3.
And there's no doubt in my mind.
Or however, is a bit trickier.
The fourth movie takes us to McKinley Speedway, where Nick O'Bannon is watching a racist girlfriend, Lori, and their friends Hunt and Janet.
Nick has a premonition of a massive crash where a brief flies into the crowd.
The stadium collapses and everyone around him dies.
He panics and starts leaving, causing several other people to follow him outside.
Moments later, the disaster happens for real.
Andy Meagley after escaping, one survivor named Nadia gets decapitated by a tire flying out of the stadium.
Death couldn't even give them five minutes.
At this point, anybody who survives a disaster because of someone's premonition
needs to be placed into a mandatory final destination orientation class.
Step one, believe the person.
Step two, identifying the death order.
But that's so much easier said than done.
Like, you're going into this with the knowledge of final destination.
If you're actually in the scenario, you're just going to take your friends fucking crazy.
Like, I-
Even if he had a premise I like I think any logical person's gonna go okay. Yeah, we didn't die there
But like you would need I don't think like you get mad at characters in final destination for not believing the guy
After like death number three
If we're a group of six people one of the guys has a premonition and I go you're fucking lying
Somebody dies. I go coincidence another person dies. I go. That's a little suspicious
Third person dies. I'm fully in I'm sold, you know if somebody is saying we're all gonna die from realistic scenario
I'm dipping yeah
I actually I don't know cuz say the guys like we need to get out of here the NASCAR cars gonna fucking crash into the fence and
Blow us up. I'm gone and then he dragged me out there and it happens. I think I might instantly believe him I
Think in that sense like like if you're the plain guy the first movie and your friends freaking the fuck out
And I go dude you just got us blacklisted on flights for the rest of our lives and then the plane blows up
I go never mind your genius
Yeah, I think I would instantly believe him, but he doesn't even know what to do
So then I'm just following what he says on a win and step three stop going to places full of machinery
Unfortunately, these characters haven't seen the previous movies
So Carter Daniels goes home and later dies while trying to burn a cross on security guard
George's lawn. Samantha is next and gets killed when a rock launched by a lawnmower strikes her.
Nick starts seeing clues and realizes death is following the speedway order. Nick's visions
are much shorter and more confusing than some of the earlier premonitions, so I start recording
them immediately. The second I see something strange, I'm writing down every object, sound,
color, or location I remember before my brain starts filling in the gaps. Then the group
can compare those clues with the survivors still alive. Even a stu-
Why are we blurring some things and not others like that when you just got crushed by a car engine?
Whoopie detail could narrow things down. I just- I don't understand though why like they're going
over these details. Yeah I understand for the purpose of the order but they don't always die
in the way that they were supposed to die in the movie, or in the initial instance. Like, say you
exploded in the first one, that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to explode in the next one.
If I keep seeing water, rope, or a specific piece of machinery, I want everyone to know about it
before somebody decides to spend the afternoon at a swimming pool. Nick and- Oh, doesn't this guy
get his butthole sucked out by like, uh, this is that final destination, right? Like,
Like his butthole gets sucked out or something?
Glory use security footage from the crash to identify Andy as the next survivor.
They warn him, but a compressed gas cylinder launches him into a middle-grid fence and kills him.
This is another situation where knowing the targets isn't enough if you meet them in a dangerous workplace.
If I need to warn someone death is coming, I'm asking them to walk outside first, preferably into an empty parking lot with no traffic.
Because apparently, we have to specify that.
George later tries to take himself out early
and fails repeatedly,
which convinces them that death won't allow someone
to die before their turn.
But they discover another survivor.
Jonathan had been pulled away from the Speedway rubble
and should have died earlier in Nick's vision.
Nick and George rush to the hospital,
but Jonathan gets crushed before they can save him.
As they leave, an ambulance suddenly hits and kills George.
At this stage, the sidewalk isn't even safe.
Why are you going to investigate that?
Why are you going?
Oh George are you okay? Oh George what happened?
I like oh is he alive?
I can't tell I think I need to go see the front
Oh maybe he's just oh maybe maybe he's just a little injured
The sidewalk isn't even safe the hospital isn't safe the home isn't safe and even trying to die
isn't safe. I would be exhausted. Nick then has another vision involving a shopping mall
explosion. This time he gets enough warning to stop the disaster before it happens, saving Lori
and Janet. For a moment it looks like they finally interrupted Death's plan properly. Two weeks later
though the three meet in a cafe and Nick starts noticing signs again. He realizes their survival
may have simply guided them to this exact moment and before they can leave a truck crashes
through the building and kills all three. Now, this movie makes one thing painfully clear.
Surviving a single death sequence doesn't mean you should relax. Every time somebody says,
I think we did it, I'm adding another six months to the waiting period. Keep waiting for omens.
Keep the group in 10. And maybe don't celebrate inside a building with a giant glass wall
facing a busy road. I think my chances of surviving the final destination are pretty high.
Although it's this guy's a jackass. This guy's a fucking jackass.
Somebody put this dude in a fucking final destination film. I think my odds of surviving are pretty high.
I think that I'm gonna live this one. I'm just gonna avoid everything ever.
One of the more dangerous movies we've been through and I've seen I'm gonna go live in a padded room and put myself in a coma.
A lot worse as phone destination five isn't told back either.
But on destination 5, allo Sam Lawden and his co-workers as they travel by bus to a company retreat.
While crossing the North Bay Bridge, Sam has the permission of the entire structure collapsing and killing almost everyone.
He manages to get Molly and several co-workers off the bridge before it collapses for real.
The survivors include Peter, Candace, Olivia, Isaac, Nathan, and their boss, Dennis.
William Bloodworth appears again though and warns them that death doesn't like being cheated.
Which by now feels less like mysterious advice and more like something he should print on business cards
However, Candace is the first target and dies during gymnastics practice after age she-
That's impossible to happen.
It- like that actually- like her body gets flattened.
Action causes her to fall from the uneven bars.
Again, if I have survived a giant disaster and weird things have started happening around me,
gymnastics practice can wait. Any activity involving heights, speed, truck equipment,
or heavy machinery is being cancelled. Bro, that's anything! He keeps saying,
I'm just not doing this. I'm just not doing that. I'm just avoiding this. It's a little ghost.
I'm just avoiding it, because if they're like, I'm just avoiding it, I'm just avoiding this.
Okay, you're avoiding everything. You can't eat food. You can't drink water. You can't pee.
He can't take a shit.
Look, until we-
You're avoiding everything that any human has to do.
Understand what's happening.
But Isaac is next,
and dies during acupuncture treatment.
Oh, God, this is gross.
Please tell me what they're doing with us.
When a fire causes a heavy statue to fall onto him.
And honestly, I don't even know how you prepare for that sentence.
Olivia then goes for laser eye surgery.
The machine malfunctions while she's alone,
traps her in place,
and badly damages her eye before she falls from a window.
Now, this might be the easiest appointment cancellation
franchise history. If people from my bridge disaster are dying in bizarre accidents,
collective laser surgery is getting postponed. I can survive with glasses. Death can try again,
but my prescription runs out. But the remaining survivors learn a new rule from Bloodworth.
If they take the life of someone who wasn't meant to die, they can supposedly inherit that person's
remaining lifespan. Nathan appears to test this accidentally when a coworker named Roy dies
answering arguments at the factory. This is where the movie introduces a much darker option.
And I wouldn't trust it. Bloodworth has given useful information before, but we have no
idea how Death decides what lifespan transfers or what's hidden conditions apply. But Dennis
gets killed at the factory shortly afterward, meeting Sam, Molly, Peter, and Nathan. Peter
becomes obsessed with the fact that Molly survived Sam's original premonition, meaning
she apparently wasn't supposed to die on the bridge.
He decides stealing someone else's life may be his-
Yeah, you can't kill your friend cuz they're set to die, you would only inherit like a day.
You'd need to kill somebody that has a large lifespan.
But you inherit their lifespan, so like what if you kill somebody that's like young but
like they might have gotten hit by a car or died young anyway.
But you have no idea.
chance and eventually targets Molly. FBI agent Block intervenes, but Peter kills him.
Joe James says I'm killing a baby. Okay. I'm killing a baby.
And appears to inherit his lifespan. Sam fights Peter and eventually kills him with a kitchen
spit. Apparently taking Peter's stolen lifespan. Two weeks later, Sam and Molly board a flight
to Paris. While sitting on the plane, they see a group of high school students being
removed after one student claimed he had a vision that the aircraft would explode.
And this is the point where every final destination fan realizes exactly what's happening.
Sam and Molly are on flight 180 from the very first movie.
The plane takes off and explodes, killing them, revealing the entire fifth film was
a prequel.
Meanwhile, Nathan learns, wow, that's actually got a fire.
That Roy E. Mann, whose lifespan he supposedly stole, had a serious brain aneurysm and
could have died at any moments anyway.
But before anything can process how terrible that trade was, landing gear from flight 180
crashes through the building and it kills him.
So even the life stealing rule comes with fine print.
But finally, after all that action-
Wait, what was the fine print?
Serious brain aneurysm and could have died at any moments anyway.
Oh, so he didn't really inherit that much life.
But finally, after all that action, we have made it to final destination, Bloodlines.
Everything has been building up to this.
And this one changes the scale completely.
In 1969, Iris Campbell attended the opening of the Skyview Restaurant, a huge tower packed
with people.
Iris suddenly has a permission where a series of accidents causes the entire structure to
collapse, killing everyone inside.
She warns the crowd and prevents the disaster, saving hundreds of lives.
And that sounds like a huge victory until we jump forward 55 years and discover death
has been working through the survivors
and their descendants ever since.
In the present day, Iris's granddaughter, Staphoni,
is having recurring nightmares of the sky view disaster.
She returns home and starts asking her family about Iris,
eventually tracking her grandmother
to an isolated fortified cabin.
Iris has spent decades studying death,
recording patterns,
and trying to keep her family alive.
Honestly, this is the level of her-
AND HER LIFE SUCKS!
AND SHE'S CRAZY!
OH MY GOD!
SHE LIES IN A FUCKING CABIN
AND HAS AN INTERACT OF THE HUMAN IN FUCKING 40 YEARS!
HER LIFE BLOWS!
Creation I've wanted since movie 1.
She has notes, timelines, rules, and a house
designed for minimizing risks.
If I'm Stefani, I'm copying that notebook immediately
before we discuss anything else.
Iris explains that everyone who survived Skyview went on to have children and grandchildren who technically shouldn't exist according to Death's original design, and Death has been moving through that bloodline for decades, and Iris believes her family is next.
Stephanie is skeptical until Iris deliberately steps outside and allows Death to kill her with a weather vane, proving the threat is real.
Horrible demonstration, very convincing.
After Iris dies, death starts moving through the family.
Stefani's uncle Howard is killed during a family barbecue when a chain of plenty accidents ends with a lawn mower running o-
WHY ARE WE NOT PURRICIOUS?!
Over him, there are several warning signs before it happens, which is exactly why Iris's notebook matters.
Once I know death is coming for the family, gatherings are cancelled.
Everyone gets separated into controlled rooms.
Sharp objects are removed.
Power is shut off where possible.
And nobody operates machinery.
A barbecue gives death fire, glass, tools, garden equipment, and a crowd of distracted people.
That's basically an invitation.
However, Stephanie tries to warn her relatives, but most of them don't believe her until more accidents happen.
Her cousin Eric survives a fire at his tattoo shop, which cre-
Oh my god, yeah this is what the nose rang.
It's confusion about the death order.
I forgot he lived that and then he, y'know, fucked the next day.
Dies in the MRI.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Julian is killed by a garbage truck
It's not real
Switch and YouTube. This is not real. There's not actually gore. It's all special effects
And the family discovers why Eric was scared
He isn't biologically parts of Iris's bloodline because he was conceived during an affair as awkward as that revelation is
is it's incredibly useful.
Death's list is following blood relation
with frightening precision.
I'm drawing the family tree immediately
and marking every living descendant in order.
And because this time we're dealing with an entire family,
I'd make sure everybody knows the order
even if they don't fully believe the story yet.
Give each person the notes, emergency numbers,
in the name of whoever comes.
What do you mean W-affair?
Meaning that guy's safe.
Before them that way,
if somebody suddenly dies in a ridiculous accident,
The next relative knows they're probably up instead of wasting another day arguing about
whether Stefani was right.
Iris had decades to study this, so the family should be using that information like an emergency
plan rather than treating it as some creepy story nobody wants to talk about.
But Stefani and the others track down the mysterious J.B.
mentioned in Iris's notes and discover he's William Bloodworth.
Bloodlines finally gives us more information about him.
He was at Skyview as a child and should have died there too.
Bloodworth explains the two loopholes we've already seen in previous movies.
You can take another person's remaining life span or you can clinically die and be resuscitated.
At this stage, the resuscitation. All right, this is definitely the best of the series
because these two guys in the dude with the tattoos and the piercings
and the other guy, they have a conversation and they're in the hospital and they're like
like, we could either kill a baby, or...
They're sitting there like, wow, and they're like sitting here talking about it, and then
they come to the conclusion that the best thing they could do is literally what I was saying.
They're in the hospital, one of the guys has a peanut allergy, and he eats like a
Reese's Cup and just starts dying
In the hospital and he's like don't worry dude. They got up the tattoos
He's like I'll just wait for you to like stop breathing and then I'll tell someone
Option is the only one I'm willing to seriously consider
But it needs to happen in a hospital with professionals monitoring everything trying to improvise clinical death at home
Sounds like a brilliant way to nail the dying half of the plan and completely miss the parts where you come back
However, Eric and Bobby somehow choose a much less controlled version of that plan.
Bobby has a serious nuts allergy, so Eric convinces him to trigger an allergic reaction
while they're at a hospital, hoping doctors can revive him.
Then an MRI machine starts interacting with Eric's metal piercings and the entire room
becomes a disaster.
Eric is killed and Bobby dies truly afterward when a vending machine component strikes
him.
Now, I understand the logic behind the recitation loophole, but deliberately creating
medical emergency while standing beside a giant magnet and several loose metal
objects is the kind of planning death probably appreciates. And so that leaves
Stephanie, her brother Charlie, and their mother, Darlene. They head to Iris's
fortified cabin hoping to protect Darlene, who should be next in the
family order. Their vehicle crashes through the gates, Darlene becomes
trapped, and the cabin eventually explodes. Darlene manages to save
Charlie, but is crushed by a falling lamppost.
Stefani ends up underwater and Charlie pulls her out, resuscitating her.
For a brief moment, he seems like they may have finally used the loophole.
None of these two are fucking idiots, cuz she starts drowning and he gives her CPR and brings her back,
and so they go, oh, so we did it cuz I saved the life and you lived.
But her heart never stopped.
Correctly.
One week later though, they learned Stefani's heart never actually stopped,
meaning she was never clinically dead, so the loophole failed on a technicality.
And this is exactly why I'd only attempt that plan with medical equipments confirming what happened.
Yeah, I did actually stop. Oh, then what about this?
I think she died for a minute.
Apparently isn't enough when you're arguing contract law with death.
Moments later, a freight train carrying timber derails nearby,
and the logs crush the funny end of the trailer.
Oh, but like, what about that?
Oh, but like, what about that?
After six movies, the franchise somehow ends up at logs.
Final Destination 2 would be proud, and my fear of logs hasn't changed.
So after all of that,
When I survive every Final Destination movie, probably not forever.
These films have killed people with busters.
I don't think you're surviving any of them.
I think every single movie you're dying.
I think if you are in the Final Destination scenario, you're fucked.
Baiters, tanning beds, nails-
Unless you actually become a serial killer.
Or you're that girl and you just get lucky.
Guns, lawnmowers, swimming pools, laser surgery, gymnastics equipment-
Yeah, he didn't show the swimming pool guy.
He gets us like buttholes sucked out or something.
Try and do survive something that's literally impossible to survive
unless some divided intervention happens.
25 years since Final Destination 2, we're still scared to log trucks.
Doing all that and then you die choking on water?
No, literally.
Like that could just happen.
Bro sensors, 18 plus things, but casually includes the
captivated bodies and the organs falling out.
Yeah, well, because it's not real.
I've problems for two and three, two.
The end scene makes no sense.
Brian was ever meant to die as far as three of the opening disaster
doesn't make sense because Frankie got off the coaster what really caused the coaster to get off track because his camera was the chain reaction to start the disaster
Yeah, I mean they're also just final destination slot films
The story is cool though
Speedy thing of the three. That was a good video. I'm not going. That was a good video
Spooky you did your you did your your job
But do I think you'd survive? No speedy thing even three listen to your YouTube vids and mods keep it the work
Thank you so if you think of the three watch react to the YouTube video video
Milo, Nick, Hutton, Kaylee, Caitlin for the sub, Dio and Speedy thinking of the tier two.
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Simply for the five gifts, it's Maddox and Doc, thank you for the sub.
Flash, Gia, Fat, Corp, Fat, Tattoo, Warrior, Pear, Bread and Fat, Cole, Bootleg, Destiny, Iron, CW, Matthias, Davis, Meow, thank you for the sub.
They give the sub miles for the three
Stim and crack up of the sub right I gotta pee them we're hoppin in the next video fair thing even three
My soul Ronaldo today. That's awesome. Jack. Have a good night
you
you
I'm in February taking the three cam and T. W. The sub, uh, the thing of the three, uh, video, best video of all time, video.
So I'm getting such job. Sorry, brother. All right. Lock in. I'm sorry. That's like forever. Next video. Let's go. Here's the schedule.
By the way, we have this video next video tomorrow. I'm live at 130 ESD.
Probably we're going to be doing random games into the last active banner sponsor. Sunday's reacts Monday.
Sunday's Reacts Monday. I am doing a Deji Bro V Bro. Tuesday I'm doing horror games and Bro Block's horror with Stake. Wednesday I'm live at 11am doing Reacts for like two hours.
I'll be live very early. I know it's either I go live that early or I don't stream that day. And then I'm gone the first to the fifth. We're back on the sixth. We're doing Reacts and Random Games the seventh. We're starting GTA.
Five story mode. We're going to play it twice a week until we beat it. We have a bunch of other horror games we're playing in October for Halloween and Bunch of Scary Reacts and shit.
We're doing a team review at some point probably the week we're back to pick the products that we're gonna do
We're gonna do the review probably late October early in November
The 16th we have a charity stream in the 14th. We're doing a jimmy tournament
And then we have some other random fucking food reviews and gauntlets and other shit
We're doing Mike Jackson and tea and lavender for the sub IV and BT for the sub fair
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I've even thought I'd be from the sun lock in
Next video the worst songs ever made was I really that bad
That's flame actually has like a lot of fans though, that's a dax flame song right
He has a lot of fans
He actually know and it's like I can't tell if his music
He or not Dax flame. What is his name? Dax flames the guy from 21 Jump Street. I always mix up the two
What's his name? Is it just Dax?
It's just Dax
Yeah, not Dax flame Dax. I mean those are the only two Daxes
I know Dax has a lot of fans, but I feel like his music though
I can't tell if it's like purposefully a troll or if it's actually like
Dead serious
Cuz the meme where it's like you're insane you're in pain I
Can tell me what you're saying
clock strikes 12 midnight arrives. Well, I feel like that's a do-out. That's not actually a song
But like he has some popular ass music that I'm like, there's no way this is
This is real
Dead serious
You guys know me. I'm a music lover
I have made tons of videos about all but he has like concerts that people pull up to though
Have made tons of videos about all the music
I am passionate about but for as much highs as we have throughout music history
We have just as much if not we got to slimy in the background. That's number diary
I can recognize to slimy I can recognize a fucking to slimy beat in the back you hear that shit about
But for as much highs as we have throughout music history
That's one of the worst songs. That's one of the that's not played by Cardi. That's a playboy Cardi
Okay, that's it trash too. I'm sorry. Oh
My god, that sounds just like too slimy though
That's like every two slimy song. Let me know now. I gotta play one to listen to it
It's a spot if I can't play this right now the fuck
To
It's exactly the same.
We have just as much, if not more, loads, especially in this era where anyone can upload
a song onto the internet, and I mean literally anyone, yeah, there's a whole lot to ask.
Crazy though is like any any artist that's that popular whether it's to slimy dax KSI
Even if like the majority of people are like I don't really fuck with this they have
hardcore fans
Like there are people that would pay good money to see dax perform
or to sign me perform or
KSI
Saying thick of it like there are like sick of it has a lot of meme lessons
But there's people that are like this shit's fire like I really fuck with this Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift has a lot of haters Taylor Swift is one of the most successful and popular musicians alive and ever
so you that like the argument on whether or not Taylor Swift music is trash is
Is depending on the person but whether or not she's one of the worst songs or artists to exist is just that's not even a debate
Like she's a billionaire off of her music. I'ma go over some of the most disliked songs
You are like Jaden Smith, brother. There's people that are like actually just bumping Jaden Smith
There's an artist of all time some of them I actually like and some of them will make me want to end it all
Time to torture my the ice spice number one contender the big guy
that song sucks so big guy big guy
sponge my big guy pants okay sponge my big
that's long ass yeah the leader of the
and I think she knows it's not good it
just had to be a kid-friendly ice-bice
song burger music movement you are not
my dog but if you were I wouldn't
the thing with like what is that I don't know bro that is I can't get behind the
ball like it's an interesting lesson but I'm not like oh I fucking yo this
shit's a jam what song do I even choose for this all of his songs are equally
But everything from clock strikes 12 to this
Is again, but does that have a single good song I searched in so let me get some booty like captain hooks kind of fire though
Like when you okay? Yeah, like when I read two slimy lyrics as an example. I think like the beat of the songs bad, but like
Like, some of his lyrics, I'm like, okay, if I was in like high school, I'd get why people
fuck with us.
Uh, did he ever do like a genius?
He had to have done a genius interview.
Too slimy.
The blob shit.
Too slimy genius.
Did he ever do?
Okay.
Race god damn bruh
You know in the black trucks and they fast really
This to saw me this about break down, okay, so he like in this video he breaks down race car
But like I want to see some of the lyrics
Bend the block, bend her back, pussy talk, wear the rat.
Ooh, like that shit, like it rhymes, it rhymes, but yo, also you are so fucking annoying this kid
spamming this. I'm timing you out, you know you are, you've spammed the same message nine
times dude. I don't even know what you're talking about but like what are we just
keep saying we need to address the Gigi something like what is that who is that
searched and found that he has a song with Quadetta let's hear his verse
that says an artist gets a D tier. Lil how does this help the message of the song in any way
I'll put this indeed to your butt. Oh, did he had a full skit little dickie because it was copyrighted?
Maybe because the Kanye part was like, it's every day, bro, by Jake Paul. Remember when I said-
Oh, this whole video probably gets fucking chopped to pieces, dude.
It's every day, bro, by Jake Paul is a shit song, but like, at the time, Jake Paul was like a Disney kid YouTuber
that made like, kid YouTuber music.
Like I don't think Jake Paul looks back at it's every day, bro, and thinks that shit is fire now
It's every day was fire. There's no it's you there's no way you think it's a good song
He says it's every day bro with the Disney Channel flow
Five million YouTube in six months never dumb a flow. Oh shit
That is like it's like it's a fire brag
But like the lyrics I mean a sock like you can't listen to that shit and go I fucking this is relatable
Because it's about like somebody rapping about being a youtuber
I feel like when you listen to like drill rap or other rap about like getting rich quick
I feel like it's still like motivational or like somewhat
relatable but like
Who's listening to low like Jake Paul's it's every day bro and being like, you know, I actually really I actually really like
Remind I can resonate with this
I literally anyone can make music now. Yeah, this this is what I meant
I've never been the biggest fan of posse cuts in hip-hop because if there's just one wack verse it ruins the flow of a
Otherwise great song. It's rare to find a consistent posse cut, but it's every day bro
It's consistent as hell five different verses of straight dog shit five different verses where they are saying nothing
And yeah, Cardi says nothing, but they are literally saying shit that makes zero sense on this song
I just dropped some merch and it's selling yo, I kind of want to fucking read the lyrics of it's every day, bro
Y'all can't handle this y'all don't know what what's about to happen, baby team 10 Los Angeles Cali boy
I'm from Ohio though white boy
It's every day bro with the digital flow. Yeah, we already read that one past all the competition man PewDiePie is next
He ain't get passed
Me and I'm popping all these checks got a brand new Rolex
And I met a and I met a Lambo too, and I'm coming with a crew
This is team 10 bitch who the hell are flipping you why does he say flipping if he just said the word bitch?
No, I'm like actually it was that like part of it. It was that it like part of it
And you know I kicked him out of the with the crew and I'm talking about you begging for attention fucking shit on Twitter, too
See there are okay, is that a bar I don't know but it rhymes like it is a rap song
Damn, this is a long song.
And then if some of it is in Spanish, can we switch the language?
I forgot about that, oh my god.
Trabajando en YouTube, Toto, Elvia, and Tero, Viviendo en USA, El Sleño de Cuala
Quiera.
Oh, shit!
Evillando Dolores Amifamilia Entera.
Ooh, shit.
like a God Church Panera is your home so stop calling my phone England is my
sick dude it is wild that Jake Paul and Logan Paul started out as Viners and are
probably two of the most famous internet personalities ever like Jake Paul
Viner to YouTuber Disney kid
Famous boxer that like gets a lot of shit and now he like spoke at the fucking Pentagon
the other day
Logan Paul, you know same Avenue youtuber blah blah blah Disney kid and
Then now he's like a WWE Superstar
Like kids isn't that crazy that kids watch Logan Paul the same way we watched like the Undertaker and
Shameless and like fucking Rey Mysterio it's like the kids growing up today their superstars are Logan Paul
like ours were different it's like they literally just found work I mean that's the same shit with
like me watching a YouTuber grown up like I think that's crazy like I still
can't get under like I can't understand the fact that like there are people that
watch me how I watched like Vanoss and I'm not nearly on the level that Vanoss
is like these guys are like YouTube legends but at the same time like there
are people that watch me every day the same way I watched like fucking MC
Finest or some shit where did that rhyme and put filler word before them
every single verse is this stupid by the way I chose the song because it's
a very pivotal time in music. You could argue KSI has worse songs or any other terrible
YouTube musician does, but the thing is that-
I'm gonna say it, and I know I'm Bro V Bro'ing Gadji on Monday. I would rather listen to
Everyday Bro' than Thiccabit.
Like, I'm not- I don't think I'm bumpin' Thiccabit.
None of these artists would be here without It's Everyday Bro'. I think the success
of the song that they even admitted to finishing in one day proof to all these
other youtubers that it's something that's very easy to make a profit off of
if a song can be this ass and the music video can be this low effort and still
get 300 million views then yeah I'm dropping an album tomorrow like look
at this music video what the fuck is going on why is bro moving like that
why my god he's just pound and sand is that supposed to be like a look at
this music video what the fuck is going on why is bro oh my god and they're all
moving like that why does she keep slapping herself how old was Jake
during this though I got a fucking what this up
Jake is the inchworm Jake Paul it's every day bro when did this come out
9 years ago. Yeah, yeah, 2017. Jake Paul age. He's 29. So this, this is when he was 20.
What is shorty in the bag though? I mean that's kind of like not shocking. I feel
like these do get, they just kind of do look like rich like LA guys. Wait the
only reason I'm not giving this an F is because the comments are actually
So I do come back to this week. It is weird because I still perceive like I'm 24 Jake Paul's five years older than me
I have friends like Chris is 29
I feel like it's the same thing with like youtubers and at like older youtubers and athletes
I perceive as far older than me like a running back in the NFL. I'm gone. Oh that guy's like 35
Dude, they're like 22
Like Jake Paul if you had guessed if you told me like guess how old he is now. I would have been like I like 36
29. He's not even 30.
I feel pretty often and enjoy myself.
Next, we got We Are Charlie.
Finally, we reached the first good song on this list.
I've said it once before and I'll say it again.
This is the only acceptable use of AI.
Not because it's ethical or actually sounds good,
but because it's just funny.
I don't even know if the people who made this song were trying to make a joke or not,
because I'm sure that tons of quirky supporters find this song beautiful.
regardless it's in I don't know I don't think anybody's really saying the song is
like beautiful I think most people in that argument for or against Charlie Kirk
is is not centralized around whether or not the song's good back is amazing why
argue with Charlie Kirk supporters you see the video the kids that were like
blasting it on a speaker singing it in a mall and then got like the security
how to kick them out and the whole interaction was just like something that would seem like it
it's out of a movie like your security guard and your task for the day is kicking kids out of a
mall that brought in like a wheeled-in speaker to come fucking karaoke that we could just make
mean with this goofy ass song in the background instead it's just as good as it gets as to
radioactive by imagine dragons completely confused me i don't get why imagine dragons don't get
Radioactive Radioactive
What's the one song I don't know if imagine dragons made it but they repeat the same like word
over and over again
Like a hundred times
What what song is that?
Thunder Thunder is one of the worst songs ever. Why is that not in is that also an imagine dragon song?
Yeah, that's the worst imagine dragon song. Why are we talking about fucking radioactive?
I'd rather listen to radioactive than thunder feel the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder or hey
I've a thunder that's like actually look up thunder lyrics. That's like torture
That should be a fantasy fucking punishment for somebody to karaoke thunder
Just a young one with a quick fuse I was up tight one to let loose
I was dreaming of bigger things when I leave my own life behind.
Not a yes or not a follower fit in the box,
that the mold have a seat in the foyer take a number.
I was lightening before the thunder, thunder, Thunder,
Thunder, Thunder...
Another verse for about six lines,
and then another thunder.
And it does that,
and then that doesn't actually hit another verse.
There's only two verses in the entire song and the rest is them saying the word
thunder or lightning then the thunder. How long's the song? Three minutes. Three
minutes and the first verse is done in 20 seconds. So it's 40 seconds of verse in
two minutes and 20 seconds of them saying the word thunder. I feel like only
music nerds hate that. This is burger music before Dax.
They take themselves way too fucking seriously and everything is
This big cinematic moment, which would be fine if it sounded good, but it sounded horrible.
Easy D tier.
Then we got the Ben Shapiro song.
I've talked about the song before, my Ben Shapiro made a song?
Bad takes video, but I really do think this is a contender for the worst song of all time.
Just the simple fact that Ben Shapiro is making a rap song with a white dude after
everything he said about hip hop, and then the fact that it's as bad as it is.
If you've heard him talk before, you know that it's not a pleasant experience,
Both because of his takes and his annoying ass voice, so putting that on a rap song with a shitty beat and a feature from Tom McDonald, it doesn't get much worse than this.
F-tier.
Did Tom McDonald make like a really cringy song about like liberals crying?
I need to find that.
Is it there?
No.
It's like a it's like a Christmas
It's like a Christmas song
Let it snow
But his is finally turning
The child to stop us by taking his life. Oh my gosh
But like who's bumping that like I feel like that has to be for the purpose of like exposure
Because like I don't even if you're like, oh, I agree with what the song saying
Nobody's like putting on like a the liberals crying
Like on Christmas Day, like you're gonna listen to like some shit from the fucking 1950s
You're not you're not bumping that on Christmas Day
Now I'm gonna be honest if I gave you all my love by why being him he's Canadian
Oh, that's funny near is kind of overrated if I gave you all my love
I actually like the vocals kind of like they're technically bad
But bad in the same way that Daniel Johnston's music is technically bad
I don't know. I find it charming and kind of catchy. The instrumental is awful
But if there were more of a dreamy ambient instrumental with these vocals
I think it has the potential to be a nice little love song. In fact, Quadeca recreated the song with that same idea and it sounded beautiful
I know that's my second Quadeca mention here
But like how could I not show y'all that this song gets a beat here and then hopson's happy ending if you haven't heard this song
Good stay innocent. It is a storytelling track about hopson getting a happy ending to his massage happy ending meaning
He cracks an Asian woman and the chorus of the song is him singing from the perspective of this woman
You think that would be
Hahahahaha
What this woman
If you know say nothing I get give you suckie suckie that he said that's like a main line in the song
You think that would my god like is this a meme song though
Like I can't tell in modern times if like anyone's being serious or not on the internet
And I don't know how old the song is, but I feel like anytime I see something that I'm like, oh, this is stupid as fuck
I go. Oh, there's just like me like they're doing it like they're being this they're doing this on purpose
Be easily the worst part of this song, right? But I don't know it's a close battle between his terrible accent
If you want an example of something that's parasocial just real quick
Just real quick like
And his rap.
These two combined with that god awful beat in the background make this 5 minutes of torture.
And there's a horrible cherry on top at the end where he starts yapping too.
Yeah, I think this is the worst song of all time.
F2.
Let's end this video full of torture off with one last disgusting moment.
In 1993, Aliyah made a whole album called
Age is Nothing but a Number.
And the title track was one she made at the age of 14.
And the song is written by R. Kelly.
Ooooooohhhhhh
Is R. Kelly alive?
I don't know why I thought he was dead he's in prison yeah I don't know I can just never
tell I can never tell if somebody like famous that I haven't heard of in a while is alive
Yeah, is Bill Cosby alive?
Maybe, yeah.
I feel like I probably would have remembered him dying.
Yeah, he's 89.
Is he in jail?
No, he's not.
Oh, he got out of prison in 2021.
Wow.
Like, I remember when OJ died and people were talking about it, like, what is, um,
like, what was like the day to day of OJ's life? Like, you know,
like, have you ever wondered that? Like, after, I don't even know, OJ, somebody just said OJ
is dead, question mark. Yes, OJ Simpson died, like, a year ago. See, this is proving my point.
Just right now, right now, there are people that are finding out in chat currently that OJ just died.
OJ died like, yeah, two years ago.
Two years ago. Why are we saying, wait, dead ass?
Like, this is what I'm, like, this is like, not, no, it's not dead, that's not dead internet theory.
That's what I'm saying, like, some shit, it's like misinformation where I'm just thinking like fucking R. Kelly was dead when he's not.
or
OJ Simpson died this has been known and there are people that are just finding this out
Like you know, what's even more crazy? There are people that probably don't know the Queen of England died
In there has to be one guy in
Not maybe in the UK. There's to be one guy in the stop saying what now you guys are trolling now. You guys are wrong now
We're trolling now. We're meeting. All right. I get it. Haha like fuck off
You like you're you're fucking with me
What?
All right next video
Dominic in front even the sub coin for the three Janon is the sub rider cookie savage with the subject even a three
You're definitely gonna be the YouTube legends that people talk to their kids about Zella for the sub. I
Don't know I don't I people's like I've had people say that and I'm like, I don't think that's true
Like I think not that you guys are gonna forget me like you'll remember me
But you're not gonna be like talking to your kids about me like I don't think I would be talking to my kids about Vanoss gaming
Like what is that conversation gonna be like? Oh, there was this youtuber and he used to make funny gga content
Like I
Don't really know CF and Alex for the sub lucky for the sub lucid for the five gift is
My name thinking of the three lucid for the sub everyone's a video about that music of a care somebody
think about a group named Shed Theory. I'm not a part of this group. NX and Brad
are the sub, Dominic are the sub. Shed Theory. And then I'm tapping into this
video.
I mean, I understand the appeal I oh I could I say
Neither good or bad
like if it was on I wouldn't turn it off but would I put it on I don't know I
see the appeal why brother's music you've heard like this
unstable thank you for the fucking 25 gifte it's thank them if you're gonna
stop thank you for the 25 gift did you fucking go to coffee sub chat lock in we
have to do this video we've been saying here watch this video for so long we
never did nurture is crushing nature using 8,300 marbles this is how many
people walk this earth each of these marbles represents over 8.3
billion yet none of us are the same we know that we all inherit a bit of
nature, but in many ways we all inherit a nurture to experience in circumstances.
I think that nurture is the majority of your experience. I think nature accounts for a very
fractional part of who you are. Like, regardless of your genes, your life would be 95% different
if you were born in fucking Bangladesh
and grew up in Montreal, not even that.
Like, obviously your life would be 95% different
if you were born and lived and grew up in another country.
But I'm saying you're still you, you're still the genetics,
you still have the same fucking name,
but you're born one town over,
you go to a different high school.
And it's like, then you go to the blah, blah, blah,
butterfly factory of different friends,
different lifestyle, different interests,
do you start a different sport?
Like you join a different club and then your life's totally different and that's like not genetics
This isn't morality nurture like there's no inheriting morality
I think morality is tied into genetic aspects of emotion
But I think that what you perceive as right and wrong in certain instances is largely due to nurture is how the small
There are 365 days in a year, at least, most of you.
But only once a year, there is a special day.
Your birthday! Woo!
Your birthday.
Unless you're into astrology, this day likely feels arbitrary to you.
Yeah, meaningless.
I think some people love their birthday,
and I'm like, I think it's fun to get everybody together
and be like, yeah, we're gonna do something for somebody's birthday.
birthday, but I think like the way I perceive my own birthday is actually that of meaninglessness.
I don't care about my birthday.
Like I don't celebrate it.
No, I like I, I just, it's not even like, oh, I've had bad birthdays and therefore
I don't like my birthday.
It's more like who gives a fuck about my birthday.
I think your birthday is cool when you turn 21.
And it's a big day.
And it's like, oh, in the United States, let's go to a bar.
I could drink.
Like, that's a big day.
I think outside of that, you're just counting them down
till you die.
You're not achieving anything.
Maybe when you're 25, you go, I can rent a car
every state now. You know when you run an Airbnb and it says you need somebody that's 25 or older?
I could be that guy now. That's it. And then it's 26, 27, blah blah blah, death.
Like your name, you know it's something, but only to you. 41 years ago, Paula Barnsley would poke
local hole in that reason, sitting at a hockey game,
she noticed something strange.
Why were so many of the players born in January, February,
and March?
Her husband, Roger, looked further.
Well, this was not a coincidence.
Welcome to 9-10-4-5.
On a logical order, NHL players
were more likely to be born earlier in the year.
How about today, though?
Does that have to do with the age
that you sign up an individual for hockey in the season?
Like I would assume it's like, oh, if you're kid,
like what sport your kid plays?
There's obviously nurture involved about like,
you're more likely to play hockey
if you live in a colder area.
Like if you're born in Florida,
you're less likely to play hockey
than somebody born in fucking Canada.
But like, it's also the season
of which you're the right age to start playing.
This graph is basically identical.
Quarter one babies are the most likely
followed by quarter two, followed by quarter three,
and quarter four.
This makes no sense.
There's nothing to suggest that January babies
are more athletic than December.
So what's going on if we look to Canada
where there's a strict cutoff in terms of age?
If you're born in January,
You're about a full year older than somebody who's born in December.
And this raises the question...
How many kids would have made the NHL if they were just born in a different month?
About 70, just in today's NHL.
What?
Let's look at other sports to see if the effect exists.
Starting with the NFL.
It's flat.
It doesn't seem to matter when you are...
Why is the NFL season flat?
flat. Like I can't come up like I don't know because the football season and pre-season
and post-season is pretty long. Yeah, they play through the weather and then also the
age to play is more about individual grade in college versus certain sign-up ages.
at least in terms of making it to the NFL.
How about the NBA?
Also, no effect.
Wow, baseball?
Goal!
Nothing here either.
In football.
Yeah, like it's too much of a percentage difference
that it's meaningless.
Like it being 23 to 27, it's like, okay,
there's just chance.
Basketball.
And Q3 babies, it's just more common
because more people are born in Q3.
Like, I'm pretty sure September,
what's the most common birthday in the world?
I think it's like mid-September.
Most common birthday in the world is September 9th
because people fuck on Christmas and they have sex around the new year
during the holidays and so you're more like if you're a September baby your parents fucked during the holidays.
Sorry to be blunt here, but that's just how it is.
You got to do the math, you know. Your birthday minus nine months, that's when they did it.
it in the general week range or whatever. Anyway, moving on, that's probably why that's the case.
So that is like actually meaningless. It's just there's more people born in that time.
On baseball, your birth month doesn't seem to matter. Let's check one last place. The more
literal version of football where football, US moved to a strict age-based cutoff January 1st,
2015. But what does that mean age-based cut-off? What does that mean when you start the sport
like you have to be this old to play? Here is before the change. Relatively flat. Doesn't
seem to be much of a relationship. And here is after. January, then February, followed
by March, April, May, and June. You get the idea. Wow. So soccer players in the
new asks are more likely to be born in winter months?
It's difficult to argue with these results.
Proof of the Matthew Principle, small differences compounding into much larger results.
It feels a bit unfair, weird.
I mean, something as arbitrary as what month you're born and influencing who makes it
to the top.
What else are we missing?
Let's move on to the far bigger competition.
Are you ready, dude?
I think school's also pretty big in a, you know how like you could be in a grade, say you're a junior in high school.
There's juniors in high school that are ten months older than their counterparts.
You're at a genetic advantage or because you're taking classes where your brains had more time to develop.
No? I mean, it's not much of a significance, but it's like, I remember when I was in high school,
there was a guy in my class that was a senior and he was 19, and that's very, very rare.
And he got held back when he was in middle school.
He was already almost a year older than his classmates.
And then he got held back a year so he could play football.
And then go into college later
and have a better shot at going pro.
And I remember being like, wow, this is insane.
Like most, I was 19 senior year, that's so rare.
Like it's more, I would say it's more common
for people to graduate senior year, still not 18,
then graduate senior year at 19 turning 20.
Like,
study following over a hundred thousand students
as they age throughout school.
And in most of the United States,
if you were a September born child,
you are the oldest in the gray.
Yeah.
September born children had a 10%
to help point advantage in kindergarten readiness.
Some of our kids were always the youngest.
Some of our kids were always the youngest.
If you were born, I was like middle of the road
because I'm born in February.
So it didn't really matter.
But I remember, I was always like, you know,
I would see a bunch of kids' birthdays,
they would start driving and then it was me
and then it was a bunch of other people.
But it's like, yeah, being born in June to August sucked
because if you were born June to August,
you didn't get a drive the same year
that a lot of other people did.
Like a September baby could start a school year driving
and you wouldn't even drive at all in the same year
you were 11 months younger than that person in the same grade.
Over August-born children, this was over five times larger than any other month-to-month comparison.
By third grade, September-born students were still ahead by an average of eight percentile points.
But by eighth grade, that number...
Yeah, I think it really flattens out.
...had dropped to four and a half percentile points.
Because it's like your brain similarly developed.
Like, you being 8 versus being 9 is a larger of an increment mental capacity-wise versus
somebody that's like 16 and 17, because you're both going to score equally on tests.
And at 18, it dropped all the way to 1.3 percentile points.
This makes sense.
If you were born in September, you'd be one-fifth older than somebody born in August.
That's a lot of life, relative, but how does this translate further down the road?
for things like income.
Well, right after college there was a significant difference in income,
but by the time people reached adulthood, these differences evaporate.
I looked at five of the largest studies, and each had a similar conclusion.
By the time you're in your late 20s or 30s, it doesn't seem to matter what month you were born in.
Now this is good news for our August babies,
flies in the face of the Matthew small differences compounding to not really
anything. Oh August babies are people doing it on Thanksgiving man after full
full gut full of turkey and fucking cranberry sauce man. Oh brutal brutal right
after the fuck right after you get the turkey oh my god just basing it for
like nine hours you're like let's have a kid let's have a kid let's rip one much do
about nothing and it also raises a counter argument how many perceived
advantages aren't really advantages let's continue on this time everybody
freaking out was born in August stop it why would you say that let's fixate on
Wait, what about me? I'm February
February
minus
Nine so it'd be two so you 14 minus nine would be five
So may
When is uh, what's may doesn't matter
Sinko de Mayo. Yeah, Sinko de Mayo, man. That's definitely what it was. That actually lines
up exactly like nine months. Nine months. Sinko de Mayo, basically exactly.
Where you are born, the United States, it is full of several different groups called
Mother's Day. Oh, turns and environments. And again, sports provide a quantifiable
window into these differences. It just made a force be with the
Star Wars marathon. You're right. Oh, means more the slogan
of the Southeastern Conference and or the top out. I gotta lock
it. I'm not paying attention. Sports provide a quantifiable
window into these differences. It just means more the
slogan of the Southeastern Conference and or the top
outland his statement that is very accurate.
For one million residents,
the South produces roughly double the NFL players
of any of the other three regions.
The reason-
That is full nurture,
because they take that should be way more serious, man.
Texas high school football is like college football
in some states, dude.
In terms of like how many fucking people
are turning out to that?
Like even in New Jersey, football is pretty serious,
but like average games just majorly students there.
like there are like randos that pull up to like high school football games.
Indiana specifically produces more than three times the national average per capita,
while the northeast is not a fan of.
Yeah, but the sport, he'll probably show up, but it probably flips for other shit.
Contact. The south also produces the most NBA players.
Mississippi leading the way there, while Kentucky and Indiana,
two states rooted in Hoops history, both crack the top five.
Meanwhile, the state where Little League started,
Pennsylvania, produces the most baseball players
in the country, about 112 per million residents.
The states get a little colder for hockey
with one extreme outlier, Minnesota,
who produces 12 times the national average.
Where the lakes freeze over, people tend to skate
where Little League was invented.
Yeah, I can't really imagine being like a Florida hockey player.
You know, yeah, I play hockey.
Where are you from? Orlando?
Orlando. Yeah.
They really got into it one day.
It was just fun. Yeah.
There's good sports.
People tend to play baseball down south.
People play football because it just means.
We all know that athletes will pursue culturally relevant sports,
but it gets a bit unsettling when you take another step in, another step back in time.
If one were to go back to the 1990s, 43% of the NFL came from the poorest quartile of zip codes,
that number has fallen every decade all the way to 33%.
Meanwhile, the percentage of NFL players coming from the richest quartile of zip codes has increased by more than double.
Because the training's better.
10 to 25.
They have more money to throw at certain shit.
They could fucking get you different coaches.
Because a lot of it is genetics, but a lot of it is just flat-out skill.
And if you're able to have a better jump start with better coaches.
Percent, two and a half times as many NFL players are coming from the wealthiest zip codes.
It just means more to those that have money.
That doesn't seem right.
like anybody's ever argued that rich people like sports more,
that they're more athletic.
If anything, that's what sports provide,
a level playing field where all backgrounds
can come together.
But this is a far bigger issue than it seems.
You see, football is the least skill dependent sport there
is.
You don't need a country club membership to play Pop Warner.
There's only so many kids who hit the genetic lottery
and are just born as massive humans.
We especially see this when we look at a position
is heavily skill dependent. Quarterback, which is see my God are the core. I feel like yeah,
quarterbacks got to be like the most the most rich players in the biggest jump
positionally. If we assume the kickers are not humans, 20% came from the wealthiest zip codes
in the 90s. Well today, that number has basically doubled to 38%. Wow, basketball. I mean, there
are only so many head turningly tall people that walk this earth. You have to be tall and tall
can come from anywhere. But increasingly it's coming from wealthy areas. In the 90s
over 44% of the NBA came from the poorest zip codes. That number is 33% today.
Meanwhile the share coming from the wealthiest zip codes has more than double.
And well the change is even more dramatic when you get to the heavy
skills sports. If you were to look at Major League Baseball in the 90s you'd
find that players were least likely to come from a wealthy zip code. That has
reversed. American players today are most likely to come from the richest zip
codes. And how about the sport on skates? Well in the 90s the distribution of hockey
players was close to even. 53% came from the two wealthiest zip codes and 47%
came from the bottom two with over 30% coming from the poor zip codes. If you
an NHL player in the 90s, you most likely came from a poor zip code. Today, just 10%
of NHL players came from the poor zip codes. Even more interesting, almost half have come
from the richest zip codes. Hockey has been-
What the fuck?
$20,000 per year per kid to have your kid play fucking hockey.
Become a rich-
What?
But I always just perceive rich kids sports as like golf, golf and crew, golf and crews
like rich people shit or like something where you need like a lot of equipment.
So I mean, yeah, hockey, but like, why is that so expensive?
Why is hockey so expensive?
I don't understand.
Kids talent show is probably makes you a bit uncomfortable, maybe upset sports are supposed
to be a meritocracy.
I got a piece of that.
I'm sorry.
Oh my God, coming out in 30 seconds.
I hope you show up fast.
All right, we're back. Lock in.
Well, these professional teams don't care how much money your parents have,
but the path to getting into these professional sports leagues
increasingly does care how much money your parents have.
But let's pause here.
Look it up and pat my home straight side, Jeff Reed, to end it.
This isn't all bad. Sure, we got a few more daddy's boys and nepo babies and pro sports,
pro sports, but if anything, it's teaching us that nurture is pretty resilient, fighting
back against nature. Talent is being created, engineered through hard work.
I mean, has Steph Curry a bad guy just because his dad playing the NBA? Not at all. If anything,
this is proof of...
Well, I also think it's a mixture of that, and it might not even be like they're putting
more money into their kid. It could just be something as simple as the fact that
you're a poorer child growing up, the odds that you're going to start a job
younger is probably higher. I mean I don't really know for sure but I assume
that if you're coming from a richer family your time after school is more
able to be spent playing sports than it is all I have to go do a nine to five
for not a nine to five but like you're done school like a five to nine like a
four-hour part-time shift just trying to make money so you're able to go to
college or do this shit because you don't have the money to be able to.
Concept, hard work with the right direction pays off.
You can overcome nature with the right nurture.
We should all want that.
Imagine an alternative where nature was all that mattered.
Once you played the genetic ladder in birth, everything was predetermined.
Hard work did not matter.
That doesn't sound like an interesting existence or one worth fighting for.
So why does this all feel so uncomfortable?
idea that Nurture is playing a bigger role in youth development today.
Hey guys, something personal here. This is not an ad. I have something I'm really excited about.
I feel like an asshole.
So again, why does this all feel so uncomfortable? This idea that Nurture is playing a bigger
role in youth development today. This is where we can look to a 19 year old that took the media
by Storm, a teenager who was unwillingly the single biggest story of the 2024 NBA draft
as the 55th overall pick.
The 55th overall pick is kind of a warm bottom.
It's a guy that the league tells you, hey, you got a draft because the draft isn't quite
over yet.
But this 55th overall pick was different.
He was the son of the Goats.
Oh!
Oh, I actually didn't know this.
Ronnie James.
Ronnie James is good at basketball.
He's actually very good at basketball.
He's just not.
LeBron stands alone.
I feel, I don't know a lot about the NBA.
I don't really watch basketball.
But I've always heard that he dominates the G League.
He does very well there.
I've heard that he probably, if he didn't have his dad
in the NBA, he probably would have gone there
and been good enough to play there,
but not have gotten drafted to the Lakers
to be on the team with his dad.
That was kind of like a push that made that happen.
Like he was still good enough to go pro overseas
or play like in the equivalent of like the minors in the MLB,
but he was not good enough to play in the NBA.
That good at basketball,
or at least good enough to be drafted into the NBA.
Everyone seemed to disagree with this.
We all know that Brony James is in the NBA because of his dad.
You're a thousand percent correct.
It's a joke that he's playing NBA basketball.
Now, this is a bit strange when you consider the fact
that Americans are divided on a lot.
If we look at college admissions, Americans
are divided on merit, only 14.
Yo, gift, thank you for the 14.
Gifted's love, thank you for the sub.
Rainbow, thank you for the three.
TV, thank you for the five.
Gifted C, thank you for the sub.
Damn, for the five.
Gifted's rare.
I can show, thank you for the sub.
Any astronomy, Madeline and Logan C, Brianna and V, thank you for the raid.
I and unstable, thank you for the gift.
It's again, lock in.
10% of Republicans believe race should be taken.
Americans are divided on merit.
Only 14% of Republicans believe race should be taken into account for college admissions,
while 54% of Democrats do.
What is fair is increasingly divided amongst Americans,
but I actually don't think we're as divided on this as it seems.
Remember the college admissions scandal where parents were paying millions to get there. Yeah, everybody thought that was fucked up
I think it's like the level playing field kind of goes down to everybody wants their fair chance without like
Financial involvement like you having more money should not get your kid into college. I think everybody gets agrees agrees about that
I think people disagree about
Like whether or not there should be
Oh my God, I'm blanking on the name of it.
It's like a thing where they involve whether or not you're like what your race is, where
you're from.
DEI, Jesus Christ, the fact that I can't remember that, I am high, sorry, we're forgetting
I did it out of one hour ago.
I'm literally weed braining out right now.
What was I saying?
Oh, I think regardless on what people disagree with that in general, I think everybody
would agree that like money in general should not get you going to college.
That's why like this scandal everybody fucking hated that. Nobody was like oh
this is fair because they were just like paying people to cheat on the fucking
SAT. Kids into highly selective colleges. The whole system is rigged for those who
have wealth and privilege. As Daniel Markovits mentioned Americans found a
strikingly broad consensus that spots at top colleges should not be for sale.
Those kids did not deserve to be in an elite school.
And Bronnie James did not deserve to be a Los Angeles Laker.
At least, that was the public sentiment.
We disagree on a lot as a country,
but there are some things we believe that money should not buy.
I mean, mepetism and corruption exist everywhere,
but when it invades youth opportunity, everyone gets fired up.
The challenge today is most cases...
So I think a lot of people have that feeling as well,
because everybody's had a kid with dreams
and you want your kid to be able to pursue those dreams
in a fair way.
Because I feel like a lot of people
end up getting into a job or a career path
that they didn't really expect they would
when they were a child.
And they want their kid to have a genuinely good shot
at getting where they wanted to get
and weren't able to.
And so when you see shit like that,
even wealthy parents in a lot of the rights
or in a lot of the same ways would go, that's fucked up.
And they don't want like, I, wouldn't you?
Well, I'm saying I make,
I could pull those strings for a kid, right?
Like if I have a kid one day
and I want my kid to have an unfair advantage monetarily,
I could give him that unfair advantage.
I would never do that.
because I think that's like fucked
in the sense that I wouldn't even be proud of my child.
Like I don't understand doing that as a parent.
It feels like a weird vicarious,
like I would want my kid to make it in their own sense.
That's how you live vicariously through your kid
in a good way by being proud of your child
through their achievements that they've done themselves.
But handing your kid the path in a money sense
doesn't even give the satisfaction or the gratitude
of your kid making it
because your kid never made it because they made it.
Your kid made it because you made them make it.
It feels like a weird insecurity from like
the wealthy parent that's paying for their kid
to cheat on the SAT to go to college
because they don't want other people
to view their kid as stupid
and incapable of making it to the Ivy Leagues
because then that shares some sort of character
onto the parent.
And so when you see shit like that happen,
I don't think it's because anyone actually supports that.
I think it's because the parents are fucking insecure
and they feel embarrassed
that their kid didn't make it how they wanted them to.
Whereas you should just be proud of your kid
for what he's able to do in their own capabilities.
You know, I think you should always pay for your kid
to have the best training.
Like obviously, if it's like my kid wants to run track,
I'm gonna pay for him to have a good coach,
but I would never, you know,
pull strings to try and get him into a college
that he isn't able to get into.
You know, if you're not strong enough, smart enough, fast enough, tough shit, do something else, you know.
Are not brawny. They're more curry.
Consider Oxford University, unlike the Ivy League schools here in the United States, does not consider legacy.
They're supposedly blind to a family as well.
The average student comes from quite a bit of money.
80% of Oxford students are reported to come from privileged backgrounds,
40 percent come from private school in a country where only 7 percent go to
private school. Oxford is not nearly as corrupt as the American Ivy League
schools and yet we still see these differences. Back here in the US SAT
scores don't just rise with family income they skyrocket. There's a 388
point difference between a family in poverty and a family making over 200k.
Okay, even if...
Oh, average SHT score out of 1400.
I'm sitting here saying the average low ends 1326.
I was like, I got a 1300.
What the fuck?
Out of 24 scale, why are we looking at a 24 scale?
I don't know how to grasp this.
There are midpoint here.
There is a 179 point difference.
Real quick, a shout out to today's sponsor, Cook.
Now, maybe believe that test scores don't matter.
I mean, life isn't an SAT after all.
Well, unfortunately, test scores do correlate with some pretty important things, like income.
A child born into the richest fifth of America is almost five times as likely to end up
rich as one born to the poorest.
So, yeah, but that's also just the wealth that you're getting passed down.
I mean, we were talking about this the other day, dude.
If you spawn in with wealth or get wealth younger,
you're going to be far more wealthy at an older age,
just because you can wait for time to make your money grow.
Has it always been?
And that's why the wealth gap's just gonna fucking keep going up.
This way?
Well, the test gap between rich and poor students
was relatively flat for decades after World War II.
But in the mid-70s, it started whining.
And today, it's about 40% bigger than it was a generation ago.
Once more, if we look at the achievement gaps between the 90th percentile and the 50th percentile,
it has been rising steeply since the 1970s.
By contrast, the 50-10 gaps have been rising much more slowly and have begun to decline,
based on reading.
being the difference between the rich and middle class when it comes to
achievement is significantly more than the middle class and poor.
All of this has largely led to a decrease in social mobility.
That is the ability for one to grow up and out earn their parents by the age of
three. That's the American dream. That's why the
American dream died around the fucking Saturdays because it just took another
day. Now this is alarming but I've seen these
numbers a few times so I wanted to look a little further.
Perhaps of greater concern, as Scott Winship outlined, is relative mobility.
W. Atriach? I mean, that's not even an Atriach thing. That's just a general knowledge.
Like, you always wanted to make more than your parents. If you make more than your parents,
you're doing well. And I think most people that do make more than their parents are also proud
of themselves. They're also like a happiness of improvement, because you always want the
generation after you to do better than the one before you. But that just doesn't exist anymore.
Like you're more likely to make what your parents make or less in turn, matched of inflation,
obviously. Like your parents make 50k, you know, 30 years from now, you make 60k, 65k,
you're still around the same exact range, because it's like inflation's just changed,
so money's worth less. Not simply whether you're better off than your parents.
versus you actually making more in terms of value.
It's but whether you can actually move up the economic ladder
in comparison to your parents.
In a perfectly mobile utopia,
a child born in the bottom 20%
would have a 20% chance of staying in that quintile.
That is not what we see.
There is a sticky floor at the bottom.
About half of the children born in the bottom quintile,
46%, will remain there.
Wow, the probability of making it to the top quintile has been just three percent.
Well, we can all agree that these numbers will fluctuate from non-parental factors such
as war and economic circumstances.
This doesn't feel very meritocratic.
And furthermore, we're just talking about wages here, which have gotten the shit
kicked out of them by wealth in recent years with what the market has done.
perfect meritocracy promises success through your own accomplishments but as Daniel Markovitz argues
there are three inputs to accomplishments effort talent and training here's kind of a counter
intuitive issue with that last element of training it's working yeah i'm sorry i timed out like
ban two people chat we talked about the clap thing the other day i mean like the people that are
are spamming in my chat I like can we walk into the video like why are we it's
just kind of like random to be like spamming about that when we're watching
and the kids that are getting the training or developing it rates that we've
never really seen before well a couple that with parents who are obsessed with
development obsessed with training and you end up with some unequal results then
I guess even in the ultimate meritocratic playground of sports wealthy
kids are now falling. Now to be fair hierarchies have always existed. The goal of forever
eliminating meritocratic hierarchies is probably more destructive than productive. We can use
a playful example in the entertainment alley there. Nobody's watching a six foot and under
men's league, but the NBA does get TV ratings. So without the NBA and unrestricted highly
selective hierarchy of the best players, there would be no entertainment product
we can enjoy similarly.
We probably want some barriers to entry to be a surgeon.
To summarize, inequality can exist
and everybody can still be better off at the same time.
As the overall pie grows,
it doesn't have to be a zero-sum game.
Absolute poverty levels are at their lowest points
ever in the last decade.
And there's less violent crime today.
Food insecurity relative to generations past
is far better.
there's less child poverty than most of human history.
And we aren't sending millions of men off to war.
So why are people complaining?
Unfortunately, relative inequality
is also quite impactful.
Wealth relative to your surroundings, this leads into-
I think that's the same thing with happiness.
We've talked about that as well,
where it's like, you see these countries,
and I really don't know the statistics on this,
but I feel like it's just like,
You see these countries that have extremely high rates
of overall happiness, but also coincidentally
have the highest rates of suicide.
And I feel like a lot of the time,
just in life and emotional senses,
if you're not doing great
and everyone else around you is doing amazing,
you're going to feel a lot worse
than if everyone's in an equal boat to you.
Like you're always going to chat.
I don't know what we're talking about.
I'm gonna keep talking about the video right now.
I'm not reading the paragraphs
that are being spammed in chat right now.
I'm gonna lock in on this.
Can we just start timing people out
that are just having like off topic,
fucking random paragraph conversations?
I'm just talking about.
I don't even care what it's about.
All right, what the fuck?
It's like every time I'm saying something,
there's like nothing in chat
talking about what I'm speaking about
or the video at all.
Yeah, somewhere like Finland.
Anyways, what I was saying.
Yeah, like if you're unhappy
and you're around other unhappy people,
you're not going to feel as bad relatively.
And then the same sense with wealth.
Like if you're poor, but you're not starving, right?
But you're poor and you see people driving fucking labor,
guineas and priorities and shit around you
and, you know, wasting money on food
and then not eating at all, you're gonna go,
these people fucking suck.
You know, why is this happening?
Comparable to, you know, 80 years ago
where there were a shitload of wealthy people
and still a very large amount of poor people,
but that wealth gap still didn't feel as bad, right?
Or not necessarily as bad.
But the reason people still complain about it
is because even though, yes,
people aren't starving to death as much as they used to,
there's still a large gap.
And if there's a gap,
there feels like there's unfairness
and so on and so forth.
Classic genie coefficient.
As wealth inequality rises relative to its own society,
social instability seems to rise with it too.
Wealth is getting incredibly concentrated in this country and that poses some serious
stability issues.
So how do we get the Matthew effect working for more kids, kids that maybe just didn't
hit the lottery of wealthy parents?
The answer is a bit more nuanced than people think.
A study done by Stacy Dale and Alan Krueger looked deeply at college choice.
To understand their findings, let's use a clean example.
Both of these students have the same grades, the same SAT scores, similar parents from
the same income brackets, race, but at age 18, one of them goes to Penn, an Ivy League
school while the other goes to a nice public school, Penn State.
Clearly, Penn is more highly regarded, and that twin will enjoy a series of benefits,
smaller class sizes, meaning more teacher attention, a far more renowned alumni network
and well, the name.
In any interview, this one proper noun
will carry enough weight to land just
about any entry level job.
So yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's that and then there's just connections.
That's the biggest thing about Ivy League schools.
Connections is the biggest thing in life
that you don't really talk about at all when you're a kid.
But if you know people and you know the right people,
you'll just have better opportunities.
You have to take those opportunities.
So having connections alone doesn't get you anything.
But like, if you know the right people,
you're going to be put in the right places.
What income differences should we expect at the age of 35?
The first cohort looked at over 14,000 students.
There were no differences in income at the age of 35.
The second cohort looked at roughly 9,000 students
in a follow-up study.
Again, no differences in income
were found at the age of 35.
Our twin that went to Penn wasn't making any more money
than our twin that went to Penn State.
The conclusion here is, when controlled for,
college choice doesn't really seem to influence income.
These findings were so counter-intuitive
that of course they'd been challenged,
but I find those challenges to be mostly flat.
For example, there's Carolyn Hockspeed of Stanford,
who argued that the sample is overly biased
because so few students select a less selective school
if they are accepted.
That is, when you get admitted to both Penn
and Penn State, few kids will choose Penn State.
If you review the sample of students though, this is simply not true.
38% of the kids chose to go to a less selective school.
Penn State instead of a Penn.
Now to be fair, there were some-
I mean, I never got accepted to an Ivy League, but I did the same shit.
I picked the cheaper school.
That's, I, like, I applied to three universities and I went to the cheaper alternative.
Uh, because it's like why pay, why pay a quarter million dollars to go to college?
groups that did see a little bit of a difference. Most minorities as well as women saw a bump
in income, but these differences were minor. I think that produces somewhat of an uncomfortable
truth. If we could wave a wand to make all these illegal.
You did philosophy. I was originally going for a physical therapy program. I entered
college applying for exercise science. Institutions more accessible and somehow poor
money into getting every kid into small class sizes and they get a great alumni
network. That might not make the impact that we think it would. When we control for student
ambition, college choice doesn't really seem to matter. Now, I think that should be a relief,
but it does point to a new question. Where else should we maybe invest our money?
You are now officially graduates of York High School.
Well, high school is a logical place to look. The state of New York spends roughly
$32,000 per pupil. Washington, D.C. is not far off, followed by a few other
northeastern states. New York is the most expensive place to live, so it makes sense
that teachers and other costs would be more. By contrast, Mississippi, which is the
cheapest state to live in, was roughly $12,000 per student. Yet, when adjusting
for demographics, Mississippi ranks first in fourth grade reading. Mississippi ranks
first in fourth grade math, and when we go a few years down the road for
8th graders, Mississippi ranks 4th in reading and 1st in math. To put that in perspective,
a black Mississippi child is two and a half times more likely to be proficient in reading by 4th grade
as a black Californian child. Now the state didn't get some massive investment. Sometimes,
you know, it gets thrown around that these states get federal funding. Yes, they do get
a little bit more federal funding, but it's not sizable and this is not a sizable difference
in comparison to other years. Instead, they invested into the science...
First and fourth grade, wow. It's the idea that you're able to get the fucking snowball rolling
to be smarter at an older age, dickhead. Fourth grade, wow.
Reading, and importantly... Oh, wow. Smarter is smarter under 10. Here, give this shit.
Much greater emphasis on metrics and measurements.
Holding teachers, students, and administrators all accountable. According to Nicholas Christoff,
the State Education Department has an Office of Accountability, which publishes lists that
shame the top 10 districts with the lowest graduation rates. Students who miss school
are pushed to attend after school or Saturday school. The result is that Mississippi, arguably
the poorest state in the entire country, has completely transformed their reading and
math scores, without spending a lot of money. And this transformation is so significant
that a lot of educators and administrators are challenging these results, but as time
has gone on here, those criticisms have fallen mostly flat.
A few other states have followed that model.
Alabama and Louisiana are both starting to see massive gains.
Wealthy parents have the right to invest in their kids, and they're investing more
than ever, creating an unparalleled Matthew effect.
But in these three southern states, we see students from low-income families getting
a real second-hand Matthew effect. The South has been the butt of all educational jokes for years,
but we are seeing measurable progress here. An example of one change we need to replicate and
build upon to help control this inequality of opportunity that is simply getting out of hand.
I'm not sure why this Mississippi outcome isn't being more celebrated and emulated. I mean,
We should all want this, like it or not.
The Matthew effect exists.
Life is non-linear.
I would go as far to say that that is a good thing.
Studies show that if you walk an hour,
you might get six hours back alive
if you're an inactive person.
You can walk for a few months
and get years of life in return.
That's a fair trade.
While I recognize that that's motivating,
I also recognize that that can be demoralizing.
I mean, we all get caught up in this comparison game.
How are they all the way freaking up there when I am here
that we lose sight of the fact that just a little bit of nudge
for ourselves or for someone else can make the difference?
Now, I don't think you should resent somebody just
because their parents have money.
That's not a reason to resent somebody.
But at the same time, we've got to recognize something here.
This new age of money is nurturing in a new type of nature.
Because of that, just like hockey,
we might be missing out on some people
just because they were born in December.
Wow, dude.
I think that's the case.
Just because they were born in December,
I think that's the case for sports and jobs in general.
You don't have the right access to the career path
that might have best suited you
and you might have most performed in.
Like there's people that probably grew up to live regular ass lives and live, you know,
and do regular ass jobs when they were potentially capable of being, you know, a great researcher,
a writer, a musician, or actor, and they just didn't have the fucking right resources.
The right upbringing or they were born in the wrong time.
That's crazy, bro. That was a great fucking video. I love that YouTuber dude, Michael McElvie.
All right, we're gonna call that there though chat and x thank you for the five
Love the YouTube videos. How many able to watch more streams on the work? Hopefully your chapter comes more normal at some point
Thank you super the sub and I appreciate that nice message
Aspired big take it to the tier three goblin pickle the sub bloody Pablo sub love take it to three
Sonny definitely for the sub what I got only us 25 minutes of using the car
How do I get high to last longer? I don't use carts
So I don't really know nothing even three working to get a formula one started for competing carting going up a rank
also 100 K to 500 K per year. That's insane gift. They give the gift streamers. Thank you for the 14 gifts. It's Leo and it's thank you for the
subar, thank you for the three Quinn, thank you for the three. All right. Yeah, I see right of choice. I see right of choice. All right.
Chat, we're going to be live tomorrow at around what?
We're gonna be live tomorrow, probably around fucking 130. We're gonna do random games in active matter for the
Last sponsor Sunday is going to be reacts Monday.
Deji, Roxy bro.
Tuesday horror games, uh, in random, uh, roadblocks with steak Wednesday, uh,
live like 11 to one doing reacts.
Uh, and then I'm going to first of the 5th of October, back to 6th, random
games, reacts seven for starting GTA five story mode, uh, charity streams,
16th league, uh, the 14th, uh, team review at some point, the week I'm
back to pick products, we'll probably review them later that month.
And then we have a food gauntlet, some other random shit.
But yeah, we're going to raid blue, blue rio.
But yeah, appreciate y'all.
We have fun.
And I'll see y'all later.
Go watch the YouTube videos.
And I'll catch you all tomorrow.
Until then, five, four, three, two, one.