you
the lyrics. Alright. Ride for my motherfucking Goopa. I'll
Let's take it.
What up?
Greetings, everybody.
Flip tables.
Thanks for subbing.
My Glorpa.
and enigmatic things for subbing in stack and sharp as six for sub it?
Not Jessica, thanks for subbing in poof loop and notorious BIC, thanks for subbing.
Can you answer me question, man?
That's on Rice and Ketchup.
So, one named Rice and Ketchup subbed yesterday. That's a person.
Fuckin' Goopa.
the
Yo, no fucking way!
Yo!
Ooh, mm-mm-mm-mm.
What is the oldest physical game you have on hand?
I got like Nintendo games.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
So you missed the dance party last night?
You're on my gupa I guess, man.
Permission to buy Yu-Gi-Oh cards without telling my wife. Granted.
I'm not playing Pocopia at all, nay, nay.
Nay, traveler, nay, nay.
Is that been Crimson Desert because you're a streamer?
Ooh, $70, wow.
I must really believe in this.
Ha ha ha.
Cheaper than WWE.
Same price actually if you waited to play.
Windows 26 and Ultimate of Dix for Submit.
A Wokegay Dix for Submit.
You playing any games off stream recently?
I'm playing Monsters and Memories.
Juicy Salty, thanks for something.
You should rip some packs in WWE and make it a 350 game.
Wait, they got packs in that game?
They got packs in that, bitch?
What for?
What purpose do they serve?
Yeah, that's right.
Put six percent.
Pass and debate.
It's true. Why more in the same way today? Wrong hoodie.
That's like very old footage, by the way.
Yeah. Laser David and can do sticks for some of it. This looks like ash bra hop on Marathon.
Did you ever peep esoteric ebby my big torda? Don't call me your big torda. Also no. Old
world blue six four seven can I call you my big tortoise
my little gordita it's John Ruling chat dude what what the fuck what the fuck
I'm ready for the end of Ramadan dude. I didn't even know it started. He lied
They'll never know I actually practice Ramadan he thought out loud
Ultra Jesus six for seven
Do you see the DLSS five beam I made of you
Is that just a mix of Markiplier and me?
What did I give up for Lent?
Fuck man, so much.
You know me.
Big Lent guy.
To this seriously the last WWE stream. Yeah, but I want to finish this stupid fucking story mode. So I can see how truly awful this
One of the guys was doing his voice acting through a phone like a cell phone call dude
dude.
The zoo I knew gave up food for 18 days of Lent and then said, fuck that.
Wow, we didn't eat for 18 days.
That's crazy, dude.
That's not so.
And I believe him.
His faith in God was simply that strong.
That's what you said.
guys for Ramadan I didn't eat the entire time inshallah
what I say I've got my $250 worth yet
Yeah.
All blart actor did 41 days no food.
No he didn't.
You haven't got an intro without eating Habibi?
Dude it's just coffee that doesn't count.
Miller thanks for 7.
That doesn't count big tortoise
It has calories it counts or you think you think whoever the Jesus figure in the Quran was knew what a calorie was motherfucker
You think Jesus knew what a calorie was hell no
Jesus was like oh
Bread no each bread for lent the Jesus even do lent
He was Jewish
Did he even do Hanukkah
Has he ever seen the Rugrats special for movie street to movie special doubt it
Did you ever see the special two episode?
Rugrats episode about the menorah lighting, dude.
I doubt it.
I'm more Jewish than Jesus is.
I'm going to say it right now.
Cracker Jackson for some.
You can't say that.
I'm more Jewish than Jesus was.
How's the hair looking today, boys?
What a big chalupa.
Hey, what a little case of Diaz.
What up, dude?
I think the WWE model did your hairline dirty.
I disagree.
I think it was very generous.
That's on the National Counterterrorism Center,
Director's resignation plus statement on Israel at Noom Noom.
You guys want my uninformed political take?
Yeah? No?
I try really hard to keep it ignorant too, so it's like, it's like.
You ever had those, those, those, those radishes and like, K, K barbecue.
That potent vinegar dude.
That's what my taste will be like fermented, preserved.
You are not funny, dude, as my goal gives his opinion nonstop and I bet you will find a grasp on things on him.
This blood literally scrolls Twitter and recites.
Like actual Russian propaganda like verbatim a lot of the time.
He doesn't even react to it.
like actual Russian propaganda, like verbatim a lot of the time, he doesn't even react to that's the thing.
He'll be like, oh, wow.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Whoa, that's crazy. Anyway, and then he'll move on to the next one like literally every time.
Wow. Oh, wow. Wow.
There it is, boys. Wow. Who would have thought? Who would have thought? Anyway. There you have it.
There it is. There it is.
is. Yeah, looking at chat to see how the boys are reacting so I don't fuck up. Hmm. I don't know,
they're saying it's pretty based at that guy was deporting people in the Ashketchum effort.
It seems pretty base then I guess Dark Souls filtered him into a chud dude me a zaki man
guy man, this guy. This motherfucking guy dude. I was thinking about getting an Asmongole
calf tattoo, actually. None of that chatter mentions it. Some kind of, I do have another
ass cheek as well that's untattooed so I might get his face there remember when
the wealthiest man in the world flamed as mingled because he called him out
reluctantly for blating the blatantly cheating in PoE
what would cause the richest man in the world to get pressed by something
like that, I wonder.
So biting your nails.
Hell no, I'm trying to get pinworms.
Insecurity.
Hmm.
Why do you think he would have to like save face in that situation?
Hmm.
The guys, the richest man in the world, you'd be like, nah, plus you're poor.
or and then like
He could do the ninja thing and buy out the bank that has his mortgage or some shit. You know what I mean?
He could actually do that shit
Hmm
Fill out my March Madness bracket. Yeah, no, I
Was thinking about doing the Lakers does LeBron still play I
like the Lakers
And they got that one guy now adobo or that guy's like eight feet tall
What team is that guy on
Lake lacquers
When bees the spurs I got the spurs on the Lakers dude
Bam, he's on the heat. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Bam, adobo.
LeBron has arthritis now. He legitimately was on the injury list for it.
I still got LeBron. He's the goat.
Is he like 45 plus?
Doesn't matter.
He's the goat.
Lagote, haven't you heard that?
Lasinus, no one calls him Lasinus except for that chatter.
No one else does that.
The AI LeBron song on Roblox?
Are you talking about the one where you waited in line to meet LeBron?
Oh, no, the obstacle course.
I remember now.
We did a LeBron hobby, dude. I forgot.
When are you going to revisit Roblox DLSS 5?
Did I'm actually so jealous of like.
Kids who get to grow up and like.
The golden age of like custom games on Roblox, man, it's not fucking fair, dude.
I did we had Warcraft 3 when I was growing up man.
And you had to the lobby, the lobby browser sucked ass, dude.
Like you were literally just randomly clicking stuff and downloading it.
And then like, you had no info on it until you played it like.
Oh, man, they're so lucky.
Yeah, sometimes you would get gay porn, you know what I mean?
But as kids are going on, robots get sucked into 90 different ways to gamble.
Dude.
Or they got they got fucking draft Kings advertisements and bars and like fucking on TV and stuff.
Gambling is everywhere, dude.
They're going to see that shit anyway.
I'm trying to fix my mic.
You can still get gay porn in Starcraft 2 lobbies, based?
Winsure Gamble sponsorship?
Hmm.
I mean, we're all adults here, right, fellas?
You will get auto banned by twitch bots.
bait streamer? Similar to how the CIA killed JFK, I am taking out Twitch Shatters from
the grassy no brother, brother man. I'm 12 millimeters long. Oh, that's not very big.
yet I manually submit your ID when you said you were 12.
I constantly get asked if I want to send, I want to send me a message by twitchautomod
and I bitch slap it out of my face and I say yes.
Why?
They still permit people for that, it's automated dude.
It's freaking automated.
What up, Futtercocks says at moon moon.
Jinxalol salami hand o-o Futtercock times 20, nice.
From mission E corn the long way approved
John, do you think so?
I'm going to play crimson desert.
Probably not. No.
Probably not.
What if we pay you I played if I got paid sure
That's kind of how I feel about most China slob. I'm gonna be honest
It's Korean oh
Social credit deducted. I mean it's the same people who made BDO. I thought it was a Chinese see this my bed
You guys remember BDO Black Desert online?
What if it wins go to
Did did Wukong win game of the year that one year I forget
Bump bump but no
Fucking body, oh, yeah, astro bot one
Man getting mugged dude
And the devs were mad
Well, maybe instead
Yeah, I'll be pissed too by wasted like I like you know money on all those
Holy shit. Hell yeah.
Astrobot pretty good to be fair.
I didn't like Astrobot, but for like a very contrarian reason.
You
Hey robots know it's it was like a
Okay
You look you guys ever see that show that Seth Rogen show where he it's all shot in one take
And he's like working in Hollywood. Yeah, I'm talking about
the studio. Yeah. The reason I didn't like the studio and I watched a fair amount of it was it's just masturbatory, right? And
Asher about to play sister game and you know, it's a lot of like, like, remember the PS1?
You remember you remember your PS1? You remember?
Yeah, the fucking fart sniff shit.
Incidentally, I I I did I had a brain blast.
One of the first 3D games I ever played.
Was a hold on.
OK.
Have you guys ever played a game
called Crusader No Remorse
on the PS1.
The guy in the red like Mandalorian suit.
You made that up on the spot.
I was trying to get the exact title.
What whichever one was the first one?
I don't know if it's no remorse or no.
You played on PS1?
Dude.
First PS1 you ever played? I'm pretty sure I played a demo, actually.
The guy in red on the cover, yeah.
Oh! Oh!
You played no remorse? Who was sick?
Dude, the song using the first level is really good.
Let's hear it.
This game is the magular ultimate, but that's what made me remember this game.
Jeremiah, that should stop it.
Crusaders have shown the latest Magillar, but yeah,
that's what made me remember this game.
Anyone else?
Synthetic is like Crusader or Morse, but modern indie.
Irreplace Syndicate and Syndicate Wars.
No.
Sorry, I'm just watching some really,
Some awesome Crimson Desert gameplay right now on my main monitor here.
Wow.
I think the main character looks cool in for this is I'm
are worded. And he just looks like a dude.
Is this an isekai guys?
Well, the guy said he was well, I've already got banned. Well,
lesson learned, lesson learned.
three guys got banned.
No.
Legally distinct Clyde.
Clive? Not Clyde.
Does this game have DLSS5? I'm not going to play most of those.
You got DLLUL.
What's that?
Does anyone know?
One day Moon will see my message.
I was in the Mr. Sleepy Man game.
No.
What the?
Mr. Mr. Sleepy Man.
I guess going to hear it.
Your sex version of Crusader is pretty unrelenting, but the DOS original.
Yeah, I didn't have a computer.
So did not have a computer.
Must be nice, dude.
I had friends who who like.
Like, dude, man.
Yeah, dude, struggle meals, man.
I see bologna sandwiches and stuff, dude.
But then like, they'll be like,
oh yeah, but we had like four computers, man.
My, I mean, like, oh, one of my parents saw
they worked in tech, so I had like four computers.
And oh man, we had DSL in 1999, man.
Fuck, dude.
You seen funny raccoon game, yeah.
It was pretty good.
I had a Super Nintendo and a Sega.
I.
Definitely played more Super Nintendo.
Did I had it?
I had like.
I only had a couple of games in the say guy comic zone.
You guys remember comic zone, dude.
Game is so fucking hard when I was a kid.
I had a couple of the Sonic games, I free-roach ones, I had Mortal Kombat 1, I remember that, on the Sega, Sega.
was the first game you ever played?
First game I ever played might actually be Super Mario World, which is like, my parents had consoles.
But I guess young, like tiny me, like was not interested in them.
I don't know, that was a long time ago, long time ago, 10 million years ago.
The game on Game Jam where you microwaved your coffee and found out you were yourself
was pretty bad.
I think you mean good.
They're parents still sometimes watch your stream my mom's dead so no not unless they have one in heaven
Internet
And my dad doesn't either
But he'll still say stuff like
I've had such a consistent schedule for years and he will still like not know the days that
I work in.
So that should tell me I'm going to be honest.
I call it work to him because he's a boomer.
So like that's the language that he understands.
Let's be clear.
I do not view streaming as work per se in the traditional says.
But he's a boomer, so that's what he understands.
Like, we're not working today.
Yeah, we're gonna be.
You like that so funny, man.
He's just.
He's such a fucking nerd, but like he kind of larps is like a redneck, dude.
And it's so funny, but.
I don't larp as a redneck kind of nerd is he, dude, he makes.
His own action figures.
and like he like makes props to go with them and stuff that's cool it is cool I think so too
I think so too
Yeah, I'm like I'm like parsing what story I should tell you guys are there
Oh, man
Make a buy I'm a 3d printer. No, he doesn't all of them sell I guess if I replace likes for seven
I
Really crystal bitch. I'm not a crystal bitch. It's just like rocks man. I don't think they have magical powers
Barbaroo we do we do Casey Rainn thinks for civil
Yeah, I got shungage. So what everyone's got that around the loco so to protect it would to ward off evil spirits
I got a first time channel from John a chatter from John Seabed says whoa, where did your
hair go?
Whoa.
My wife has this good a candle to find amethyst every year so my house is full of them.
Yeah, but that's cool.
I got like tons of cool looking amethyst man. That's awesome.
There are minerals, Marie.
Minerals, there are minerals Marie.
They're fucking minerals.
I wonder how many times I've I've been made fun of for having like no hair.
Six digit easily that I've read personally.
You're elongated skulls indicative of you being of Anunnaki origin.
I know it looks like I have an elongated skull but it's literally just the angle of
my camera.
I promise.
I have a normal skull, or rather a typical skull.
Mine's gone too. Yeah, fuck you, man.
Also, this is an edited picture of me. I never have looked like that.
I look similar to that.
I feel like I have to say this because the road there might be people like holy fuck this guy was fat, dude
This guy was fat. I am fat, but
Not that fat not that fat
Bane I'm not vain
Here's a real clip look at that
Look at that
How do you, wait was that, did you DLSS5 that, wait was that not actually me?
I don't even remember, uh-oh, it looks kind of, it looks kind of AI, look at that jawline
indeed
what jawline
did you're so mad dude you're so fucking mad
That was me protecting my lacasa with the shungite by the way.
Did it work?
No, I remember those homeless guys slept in my yard.
It didn't work.
you. Thanks for sub it. Oh,
maybe I kept them out of the
La Casa way. You're right,
dude. Hold on.
Sorry, I'm biting my nails
because I'm a I'm an adult.
Guys, my birthday is in two
days. I'll be 22. I'll be 22.
Yippie!
Oh boy!
Here's the 2023th, no one cares, bitch.
Just kidding, happy birthday.
Take a year off the time until you tell us
what happened that one time.
I already told you.
No, you didn't.
I did.
It was the the people sleeping in my yard story.
I'm pretty confident that was it.
Children from Chip Douglas, thanks for so.
If there is another story or more of it that I left out,
I have forgotten and I'm sorry.
Super funny fucked up story.
I don't remember.
Might have been kid related.
I don't think so.
It was an apartment before this one.
I was a little Billy, he's great, he's a big man, big man.
Still playing Dokeupon, he still actively tries to attack me in that game.
I
What's his power level these days after getting trouble at school for
I want to say fighting because it was a fight he like shoved these girls that were bugging him pretty much
He got in trouble. He took it kind of hard. He doesn't he doesn't watch the dragon ball anymore
for now. You did that in middle school and broke a girl's arm on an accident. Oh.
Don, thanks for subbing. He's self-aware and changes his behavior and habits good
dad at Moon Moon. You got that from his ex or my ex. I did. I remember the like days
after that when I saw him finally, I was like, you want to watch some more drag? Well, he's
like, no, I was like, sure. Like I was trying to get him to I'm starting to get a little
Watching some more dude. He was like, no, I'm okay. I'm okay.
I was here as an epic going out of do his epic.
DBZ is made. He was super into it.
How is the retro-trutide?
Injectable medication developed by Eli Lilly that acts as a GIP GLP-1 and GCG receptor potential
for substantial weight loss.
I don't do weight loss none of those words are in the Bible true true big true
Did I eat so much curry today, bro, I eat enough for like five humans, I think
What can I curry is Japanese curry
Your voices in your head
You see the cake streamer doing Fent live I
Did not know anyone got a clip
Is Fent injected by the way? I thought it was a pill.
It's literally morphine.
Volidity of the extra sublet? You could boof it.
Ooh. It's a patch?
It was a sing question. You're under arrest. No
Don't watch it as to us audio don't watch as to us audio are they listening to
Hile Hitler by Kanye West as well. I feel like it's like that song pretty often I kick
It's a lollipop real dude a fent lollipop
You're talking about Rappers dropping the F slur, how are they going to make a second
of Fentanylollipop cool?
the
day
can you imagine the line and riding spin as a
job
we're
sorry about doing
robot as an
but instead of sipping the purple drink
the purple drink. Then I suck on that
fint lollipop. Now I suck it hard. I suck the
fint lollipop hard. I put it all the way in
my throat. I choke on that thing to get all
the fint in my throat.
Yeah.
When I was a kid, Fent was indistinguishable from real life.
Feel that.
Feel that, dude.
Everyone did Fent.
I remember the first time I did Fent, I was 8.
Fuck, dude.
You still do it? Dude, you're doing it right now.
Sir, late I know.
This guy's got a Fent patch on his forehead, dude.
Call him 4 Fent.
So 4 Front?
4 Fent.
You see going medieval? No.
I saw a cool mod for room world. I want to try out. So that might be on the horizon
soon. Job world now, 40 K no. The perspective one. Yes. God, what was that called? Perspective?
What was the name of it so I can like describe it to you guys?
Perspective shift.
Adventure mode. This is not a prototype. This is the feature fully complete as close to base game
standards as is possible. RimWorld is now a fully playable top-down RPG start to credits.
No jank, full flexibility, and near-total mod support.
I know, dude. I know, dude.
I mean, this picture doesn't say much, but...
What does it do?
Roomworld is now a fully playable top-down RPG.
That's what it does.
What does that mean?
Oh, I guess you'll have to tune in when I play a dude
Yippee, and then you all of your burning questions can be answered dude. Let's go
Yes, you're good. No, you're stupid. You're fucking stupid. That's what you are
Not going to watch that shitty game dog posted three favorite games of all time in chat right now.
Can't say runescape.
Co-tor Halo 3, BG3.
Hmm, this is a different guy by the way.
Not bad.
Rimworld Valheim and VRizing.
Interesting last two choices.
Dragon Age one Red Alert three fall out to or flat out to is there a flat out to
Yes, there is. I'm sorry for doubting you.
Ortonite Ninja arc arc Raiders cod black ops to
damn my goop
Majora's Mask Elden Ring near Automata mmm
D2 PoE DMC3 you play a lot of ARPGs my man this guy's got carpal tunnel probably
You're 8k hours in PUE I can't do anything else. Yes, you can dude. You just have to believe
Played four hours of robo quest today with a friend
Pull it up
What the fuck is this I
Had a crazy day today man
I wish I could tell you guys what fucking happened to me today, man, because it is genuinely so fucked up, man.
I'm not complaining, okay?
I'll tell you guys, like...
Save this date, okay? I'll tell you guys in, like, four years what the fuck happened to me, man, because...
NO!
Aw, mrrrghh!
That's fine, probably nothing good in there.
Remind me of four years.
You have no idea, do you?
Nope.
No. I should have wrote it down. That's my bad, boys. That's my bad. It's not dementia,
dude. It's trauma suppression, dude. My brain automatically wiped it. EverQuestive5adom?
It was not getting divorced in fast six for some of it was last time we got new glasses
within a year.
I got new glasses semi recently, dude.
I saw it, I actually know and I'd love to see a fog day for a little bit.
Like the thin frames of the thick ones, thin.
Wait, yeah, Thib.
From mission three, Diablo II, Icewind Dale II.
Good list, you're old, though.
For right things or something.
He he he.
Started evaluating the Pastume II original.
Baseless.
This guy's had bodyguard five times in 10 seconds.
Ward, Yellow 2, Doom 2. Good list.
Maverick's first of it.
Nothing else around, so Bodyguard?
Yeah, I'm hard, hard.
Call me the Bard, Shakespeare reference.
Oops, I farted.
Conflict of.
I should make a song. I should make a song, dude. I bet I can make a certified hood classic.
You think I'm 3D during Boomer Week?
Yes, I did.
Yeah.
I'm the Shakespeare of hip hop.
Dude, I'm the Mozart Shakespeare.
Edgar Allen Poe of hip hop, dude.
I'm not the county of twitch
Mm-hmm j-terms also elderly you're the chingy of twitch
Where's this guy done recently?
Damn, wisdom Wednesday, dude. Hit me with some wisdom, Chinggy.
Oh, it's God, okay.
God talks to me in my head, guys.
I
Do change living in a fucking apartment right now do that's so sad
He's to have such a banger music career, I like the way you do it right there right there
You're going to try this one on your boss tomorrow?
Dude, my boss will be like, hey, do your work, but then the voice inside of my head that's
also God says, you shouldn't do that.
Who do you think I'm going to fucking listen to, dude?
You shut up. I want more wisdom.
Oh, wait, he did a Frank's Red Hot Flavor check.
Wisdom Wednesday. Do good, more evil, but don't do enough, no evil.
Okay.
Is there a video?
Bro, it is like your own man talking into his webcam fucking his laptop webcam dude this video was not interesting as a guy talking to me.
The content is what he is saying which I don't know I don't know what he is saying.
Sounds like you.
See that's the thing though. I don't look you guys
I don't ever look you guys directly in the eye out of respect. Okay, Chingy is staring me down like I am a mark-ass bitch right now
Well, he makes these videos two minutes long I'm already bored dude, I gotta be on this shut up Chingy
I'm gonna listen to some farm core and bitch
Two minutes too long, dude
Daily wiki gotcha pull or those who we get
Is a wiki gotcha calm
Oh, we got a gold one.
Oh, this sucks.
Oh, Esther or Neobo?
A Spanish politician.
Don't care.
I got me with somebody, dude.
Yeah.
Central Africa time boring.
Third published on a, uh, not on the internet.
Central Africa time, boring.
Third, published non-fiction work of the author Charles Ford.
Boring.
The movie teller.
Get the prime minister of Norway?
That's awesome.
Current or past?
Lock in.
List of number one billboard regional Mexican songs of 2009.
Yeah, Wu-Tang forever? Nice. I got Johnson Central High School.
And the murder of Laura Stivel.
Cycling at the 2015 Pan American Games, men's key red.
Fashion model and activist, dude.
Thank you so much for your work.
Thank you so much.
Dude, what?
We got the 2020 Israel Palestine peace deal.
Wait, do you hear that?
Can it be that's captain Israel's music and he is not pleased about that peace deal.
I can't believe Captain Israel is undefeated.
Why am I not wearing green today? Why would I?
Oh, it's St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry, I don't like to culturally
appropriate other cultures' holidays.
I'm extremely PC and woke
So you guys enjoy your little
Irish appropriation, okay? I'm gonna remain conscientious. All right
All right big big dogs
Am Irish and I'm offended that you'd say that dude
Show me your passport show me your fucking passport then big dog show me your passport big dog
show me a fucking DNA test bitch show me your fucking ancestry calm pussy posted in chat
if you're Irish your 10% Irish doesn't that is not enough I don't know no back down
Let me paint the scene for you.
You just slept at the prostitute who drugged you, dragged you out to the middle of nowhere,
an outhouse, in the middle of the apocalyptic desert.
You wake up, it's noon.
The feces that was at the bottom of that outhouse has stained your flesh.
step out and the sun is glaring down at you.
You look in front of you is a bike with a basket on the back.
There's one big brick of a hash
and on the hill behind the bike you see three wolves charging you dude.
What do you do?
If you answered pull out your pocket knife and then do a quick knife trick and get to stabbing.
That was the one.
smoke hash with the wolves
you ever feel the need to play a game because you spent money on it?
no
but it's different because I'm a streamer
but I would say even if like you're not a streamer
one
Dude, I look, I know some of you guys work 17 hours shows
that the fingernail peeling factory, you know, you barely got 15 minutes
a day to game, dude, but like surely that surely your level of responsibility
would permit you not to waste money on a video game, right?
I don't know man, I wasted my twitch turbo.
I'm just saying like, I'm trying to put myself in the shoes of the every man right now.
I'm trying to wonder, have I ever felt guilty about not playing a game that I bought?
If I bought a game, I feel like I would have already played it pretty much immediately
after buying it. Dude, I don't know man. Think about this way. Just just go get a credit card,
buy the game on the credit card and then never pay the credit card off. Dude,
what are they going to do? Send you to debtor's prison? We don't have that
shit anymore. That shit don't exist. That's one of the fundamental,
fundamental core aspects of our democracy, and quotes.
No debtor's prison.
They send debt collectors to your house.
They're going to hate that picture of Goatsy I got taped on my front door,
and I guarantee it.
Just stand your ground.
Look oh damn. Thanks for something dude max out 20 credit cards do whatever you want and then defect to China
Wait until you find out about weekend jail what the fuck
I would never betray my country, I love it a lot.
should affect to a cool, cool country like Israel.
One of America's greatest allies. If you're going to dodge
your credit card debt anywhere.
Go talk to your local Congressperson.
Can you put me in touch with your Israel content? Oh, yes,
indeed, I sure can. My name is Bill Thompson. I'm from
Arkansas the third districts grew up in the town called Johnson my whole life
Of course, I've got a contact in the Israel government, dude
Don't bring Arkansas to this
I got wikipedia got your result is Rayleigh form
When am I getting the a pack bag I
I
Mean I don't know the captain Israel is pretty cool man. He's done a lot. He's done a lot of good
Janks ultra Jesus, thanks for something
You just pulled French people
What a fucking picture. Oh my god. I forgot. I forgot the Moonman character shook hands
with Captain Israel. Hey, guards, pull that shut up, dude. Pull that shut up.
Thank you.
That's mafia thought money, baby!
Don't salute with your left mic here.
My camera is flipped.
This is my right hand, I promise.
Yeah, I think that guy who's dead by the way, we just like thoughts.
I need Twitch chat's opinion.
No.
Yeah.
No, I'm alive.
Oh, hey, baby.
No, I'm alive. Oh, hey, baby.
Sorry for the disrespect, sir.
He's just taking a moon moon length break.
Hmm, an eight, eight and a half minute break. Sounds pretty good right about now, fellas.
Passes the guards the ox yes below
We are the people of the United States of America.
This day is much stronger than ever.
Then there is salvation.
I
Am Irish and I'm offended that you'd say that dude
Show me your passport show me your fucking passport then big dog show me your passport big dog
show me a fucking DNA test bitch show me your fucking ancestry calm pussy posted in chat if you're Irish
I can't believe I'm going to lose my mind.
I don't know what I'm going to do with this.
What up fellas?
I got some more Joe no not Samoa Joe
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Did I might switch up with Chinese you want?
Uh, I don't know.
Play it.
horse mob rod.
It's time.
Everyone's fan favorite.
I'm buying
where are the people?
oh there they are, probably
The following contest is a hell of a set-up match!
Speaking of waiting rates, from Justin Dufford, bring in 228 pounds, Justin and Blaine!
I don't care who you are, this is when your nerves start to set in!
This is why I do what I do.
I'm working the stage right now, guys.
He's ready for the bail. He's ready for this match.
I
Brod turned in answers
This is it those grueling match in WWE
Oh
I
See we can rebel replicate that bug
Just got China-Pakistan relations nice I care about that I think it's just this level
I
Just be fucking your mom
228 points! Justin and...
MAAAAAAAAY!
Wait, the competition tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
On the left, we have the great streamer, LEMMOO, versus Captain Israel's former best friend.
They told the member did not receive the impact when he asked promise.
the last two minutes coming out
pretty close to the last one minute.
Who loses?
What principal fun work we've got to this row there?
Do that little, that flamboyant off the ropes move.
I don't even know what it's called.
What do I have a purple bar?
That's the Halo 2 Overshield.
Oh my God! The poor pencil like Arthur Moonberg.
Nice cover.
Come for the pit early.
I move the camera now because the game sucks.
Nice.
Get up you whip.
20 minute Ironman match.
Push pins or submissions equals victory.
Movement flowing Captain Israel to the cage is what I was hoping would happen.
Where's he going? He's going to the top
Nice clothes line by mood
I'm not sure what he's what his plan here is
He's kind of working over Captain Diver right now.
Oh my god.
We're fighting despite being wounded right now
What's gonna happen here? I don't know what the fuck that was
The sweat glistening I got in Israel's face.
Look at the very Turkish visage of Moon Moon.
Another finish of the Moon Moon where that's a signature.
No.
Oh no.
Oh.
Here we go.
No need for the free cam and they're not in the cage anymore.
Oh!
Nope, I don't know.
I want to see Captain Israel throw him from the top.
Very dangerous position.
Now Israel showing off.
Dancing the can can.
Waitin.
Amazing dodge by Moody. Holy guacamole. Consistently biting off more than he could chew.
Oh my God. I don't know if Moody's got much luck in him.
He's been hit by three finishers.
Oh!
He's rolled back to his feet immediately.
Nice close on.
Finally getting some work done in there.
Stop grabbing him like this please.
Maybe.
Wait.
That looks dented now.
He can't buy back.
Oh God.
Oh my God!
No!
That's alright, there's still a chance.
Kevin Isreal gets the first pin.
Going for another one.
Good kick out by Moonbeam.
What story in that pear shaped body.
Series of counters.
Oh, that's a finisher by Moonbeam.
Wait a second, he's going for the foot-pump.
The absolute disrespect.
We were all on our side up, look at each other.
Oh my God, Wade, it's the booty poppin' slam!
That's definitely gonna be a pain all tied up 12 minutes left in this Iron Man match.
Captain Israel, the superman punch.
The second pin that was promised.
Another finisher of Moon Moon going for another pin.
and
Captain Israel looking like he's in his element right now.
Nice counter by Moon.
Grows him over the ropes.
Moon, I don't know if you want to go back out of the ring if I'll be honest.
Very dangerous prospect.
Another one absolute disrespect please get a camera up my man.
He won't and so he'll get stung like a driver.
How do you?
Throw him around like a big on dog.
Drop kick to the back, why, man?
Back out of the steel cage confinder now.
He's really looking for something, anything.
Get up.
Speaking of up.
He's gonna go to the top there.
I'm thinking moves probably gonna follow shortly
Happy there's real already set up at the top
It was doing a certain hand gesture the middle of the games there
That's a finisher right there, by the way, trying to find the original camera angle here.
the second hole made this one by moon
we just can't take out right
we're pathetic
here we go
nice and rosa
take some of the fucking face
is that enough for the pelvis crush
There it is.
Should be an easy pin.
Both men looking extremely exhausted.
Goal of six pinfalls.
Oh my god.
There it is.
This is a no disqualification match allowing captain Israel to utilize his ancient magics to drain new new soul.
Another pad immediately afterwards.
Kirk run off the ropes.
Is he leaving the ring? Maybe looking for a weapon here.
Oh my god.
He's got the tags.
Oh!
Both men extremely wounded right now.
Oh my god.
Move back on his feet.
Reverses the Irish whip.
Punching Israel in the face says no, thank you.
The raw power of strength from this creature.
Oh, god.
No.
There they are, ladies and gentlemen.
Thanks for watching my move.
Move still down by one.
This might be enough.
There it is.
They're just so exhausted.
We're just taking the pins.
Oh my God.
Going for the pencil-like legs of Moon.
What a package.
What has to be... Oh my God, a reversal out of the tax.
Holy moly.
Slowly lift the cup in Israel up.
Now it's Moons turn over.
He's absolutely covered in those things.
They both are.
He kicks out somehow.
Jesus Christ.
Look at that.
He's got tags on his neck, man.
Don't pull that out.
He'll die.
It's price is bleeding.
Both men tied right now.
only five minutes left pretty much
Here he comes
Where are you going? You'll give her a weapon there, Chief. What you gonna get?
Nah, just hired big man, understood
hit that out of good. They're barely hanging in there. Oh my God! Look at that eviscerated
face
There's a real getting down from the top down for some reason
Well, he go back up
No crowd for me right now
I'm running attack and it will stop for no reason big position over one of the holes
What are you doing?
Waiting until he's the longer son to go for the grappler, immediately getting kicked
Oh, he said, uh, this should go through the top of the silk cage here.
Oh, he gets a disregard.
Is he gonna do it again?
Oh, my God, he's gonna throw him off.
Where are you taking him?
Go for the longest move possible to ensure the maximum amount of time that Captain Israel has to counter.
Who's bending Captain Israel over?
Never mind. Decided to wait until marriage.
Series of stops.
Oh my god, so slow. Not like this buddy. That thing is bending under the the
The popular wits of our hero.
Oh my god, it looked like a reversal.
Jesus.
Israel working over right now working on the hunchback of this humble video game streamer
the gunch back yes only two minutes remain
I think we're extending the leg of Captain Israel
Captain Israel however never skips like they rendering his legs extremely
Oh my god! Through the steel cage once more. We're gonna drop down to another two stories for the pin.
This could be the final pin of the match!
There are three holes at the top of the steel cage right now.
Tacks on the floor, ready to perforate any human flesh or can.
I'm getting warped right now.
Roll out buddy, he ain't rollin out.
That's a big stun on the moon.
And if Israel can stop kicking the air long enough, it could also be another pin.
Well, moon has a chance.
Israel hesitating. Winded. Fighting his time here. One counter could be deadly for him.
Wisely fighting his time. I do believe this is one of Moon's finishers. Oh he's just going
up wait after this row 94 overall moon only 88 I'm thinking that's all she wrote
ladies gentlemen I'm thinking that's all she wrote
Israel pissed off drawing a little fit.
It's over.
Why is this so important?
Now the replay system still extremely fucked up I see.
Oh here we go.
Oh yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God.
Bending the steel cage with that one.
Why is this a replay?
Jesse Ann May!
Do the motorrooting, dude!
He's not gonna do it!
If you look closely now, you can see that the tank has pierced his face, Baker!
Girl-girl name O'Bagalow.
Alright, big man.
All right big man, all right big man, three girl names, dude, okay, diaper boy with girl's
name, okay, okay, you've been having a blast out there, huh, pick it on people who aren't
on your level.
Yeah.
Someday someone's gonna put you in your place, maybe today's that day, but I'm ready
to advance.
Oh, maybe I have to fight this guy
Hmm, you guys think it's John Cena?
It's not Alex Jones
It's fucking China dude
No cops? Can't afford them. We're on the up and up right now.
Yo!
It's just like in the AI video, who needs an AI when humans are perfectly capable of
Maybe with a solution dog.
BOOM!
Boss!
I don't know who this is.
Oh, should I know who this is?
I don't know who this is.
Oh shit, I don't know who this is.
I got something to add, but back onapolis.
Ron Cena?
What? I wonder what inspires them to do this audio mix.
It's my mic settings, you guys can hear me very clearly right now.
What are you looking at? I'm behind you.
Ten followers submission. Got it. What's up? What's up?
The other game just left.
Respective.
Hey Hector catch.
What's up?
Okay, man.
That girl wasted the hang of it, man.
Sorry, I got some common micro.
I
Okay, oh
I got that big body though
I can't believe he's finally here.
The crowd at 8-2?
No they don't.
Surprise
Come on big dog.
What the hell is that?
I'm doing that.
Six seven.
What are you doing?
Not enough big man.
What the?
What?
Picks you in the fucking balls.
Do the float over neck breaker? I don't have that. I wish I did.
Okay
It's almost time
So are you
Oh!
That's all good.
How are you?
What's up?
You gonna bid me?
Oh, no.
Oh, he's definitely gonna do it now.
Oh, no.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh.
Excuse me.
Let's get it started in here.
Oh.
Heh heh heh heh.
Loved people.
Loved them.
love people love them.
Surprise!
I don't know what I'm saying.
Where am I tossing?
Oh, you're good.
Oh, gee.
that was
that was with the
I don't know if I have a super feather for it.
What?
There's absolutely no fucking way.
Who even is this guy?
Ron killings. I'm gonna kill him with a gun.
here
blogging backshots
It's got a buff
Can I get the max shot splat?
Throw him.
You fucking dumb bitch.
Nice Neo Dodge.
No, not tossing them like a salad.
I can't pick up the steps.
I fucking hate tables
Ouchie
when they have beefed it, boys.
Easy kick out for the king of wrestling.
What the?
Wait, he countered my possum guys. This guy's actually too fucking good.
Wait, I gotta pick him up. I have to pin him.
I wonder if I can get disqualified for dropping him on a prop. Oh, he's getting it out of
I think they'll do something, bro.
Wait, what?
Why does he know that move?
He's wrong, Cena.
The arc stands for Ronald there.
What came up to prove your voice is an AI?
This is an AI story.
Hello?
I am Moon Moon, also I am a robot.
He's been doing all of Sina's moves since he retired.
He's even wearing the chinos, dude.
Hector, help me.
Get ejected.
Dodge.
Is this seen as a childhood hero even though he is older than John Slava?
How old is this guy?
Am I beating up an elderly man?
I am an elderly no
No.
I'm halfway at 70.
Okay.
I'm half way at 70.
Oh yeah, I guess so.
I wonder how many times we'll have to hit this guy.
Dammit!
Wait.
Wait, Spud's building.
I didn't lose to Ron Sino, okay?
This ref's just a pussy, dude.
Ron Cena farms you, dawg.
If that's true, then how come he can't recite the entire John Cena theme song like me?
now. My time is up. My time is
now. Something, something.
They have a blout. Step back to
reality. Oh, there goes
gravity. Oh. The giant says
It's now back to reality.
Oh, there goes gravity!
Which one's the giant?
Moon Moon has the giant archetype.
like in real life, baby. Magnificent clothesline by the main character, allowing himself to
countered even. Very generous. Oh no. Oh, what the fuck was that? It was like a Dark Souls
box move. We're going to dodge.
Okay, man.
They hit the crippler cross-based finisher.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that one's copyrighted.
What are you fucking aiming at?
What's up, I'm back.
Meph-meph-meph-meph-meph-meph-meph-meph-mephh
Help me
You get the frog, frog splash as a finisher?
Yeah, we should set up a super finisher, I think.
You can't see me.
Yeah, dude.
Yes, sir.
We're getting the golden injury.
I still don't know what that means.
But we're going to plan it for it.
Do you think he expected three in a row fellas?
A one?
Very nice.
I didn't expect a roundhouse kick, did you, fool?
It went...
Oh, I gotta pull it up.
Goryukin!
are you good?
dodge
somehow
Oh god.
Please leave me alone.
get up. Thank you.
You think they're what the fuck are you doing up here?
Do not get me disqualified.
OK.
Stay back down, OK?
How do we finish this guy?
And yeah, I do mean we.
We!
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh.
Immediately arises.
No cells are removed.
Hands him a laugh at his genitals.
Ooh, nice.
That's a good idea.
We're going to end up with a Shoryuken.
the
I
You guys said stop playing with your food I haven't played with them enough
It's over buddy. I'm so fucking sorry
of
This guy's like 60 man, you gotta do it to him like this.
That's the shovel that Paul Heiming gave us dude.
Dude.
How'd he get here so fast?
I'm playing the music, just...
Dude, that's the 2K quality right there, boys.
Hey archetype ever since you came back I've been watching you yeet first you
gotta stop my bra then you took your ball home again and went on a temper tantrum
tour all around the world yeet then you show up here on Smackdown and start
attacking people showing your true colors yeet this whole time you've
You've been picking on people who aren't at your level, but now who aren't at your level?
Who's main event?
Yeet?
Hold up.
Are you saying I'm not main event?
Truth.
I'm trying to make a point here.
I'm just saying I've competed in main events.
I've been on a show main event.
I've even been on events seen main.
I have my own catchphrase too.
Neat.
That's a good one, that's a good one though.
Can you dig it? Dig it! Suck up! Suck up!
I like that guy on the right. Even though we did just beat the fuck out of him for like half an hour.
It's about time someone said up to Moon Moon. Couldn't be more proud of my- that my son Jay was the one to do it. Rikishi!
The archetype has become the embarrassment and Jay is going to put an end to that.
At Moon Moon. The guy who used to show his ass every week on TV calls me an embarrassment. I'll remember that.
Oh my god!
We got the evil guy music going right now.
Oh yeah!
I'm hella evil.
Evil AF.
Ooh.
Look at that hairline dude.
Where are my headphones?
We gotta add a super finisher.
Uh, where even is...
Where even are the super finishers?
You need a new outfit to show your evolution as a heel?
I think you're right actually
I think he's right
Mass mall thanks for seven. Yeah, we'll put on the evil moon mood
I don't know how to set a super position
Commentators, I thought I'd turn them back up.
Click the right trigger on any finisher.
Whoa.
Oh my God!
This is the screen that plays all five benefits.
I
Want like an off the top road
I
Went and I never lose it. Nice lyric. That's a Kanye lyric right there dude
I win and I never lose.
Okay.
Let's see what we've unlocked.
This is not my face.
Wait, it is my face without hair.
Hmm, I wonder if I get to choose.
Did like ames rotate with a beard?
Nah, I don't see the resemblance.
So let's see the resemblance.
There you go.
I mean, Chester is pretty evil, right?
also evil all right what do we got we need something non-brain oh wait we need a button
up sure don't we this is this is an evil moon route out there right here actually
I want like a button up without a tie I think.
Where's the shirt?
Oh
Although
of
,
why did they make the people text 15 characters
Let's see you put a better one out buddy
Let's see you try big man
So evil, dude.
No?
Yes dude.
Alright, what short stuff?
Cackies?
Bottoms.
I like that.
I like that, I like that.
One last thing.
We need an eye patch.
I wonder if there are even eye patches.
I think I've seen one.
Oh, right there.
Holy fuck.
Wait, this isn't an iPad, it's like a...
It's a cut. It's like a bald cut. That's alright. There's a different one. Wait, we
We can do this one.
There, see?
I don't see the other one.
We're gonna do this one.
Also, we're gonna change our hair.
I got it, I got it.
Yup.
Lorak here in evil movement would go bald.
go bald no lower accurate and lower accurate evil movement would go to
turkey for the surgery I think
how do I choose that one J. Uso should have never got involved in our business
I can't wait for you to put him in this place next week yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna
beat him up I'm gonna give I'm gonna I'm gonna punch him oh we gotta turn the
announces I can't wait for him to get what's coming either but I'm not gonna
face Jane you are oh what do you mean I have some important business to take
care of dude we're gonna kill a guy but our truth said he'll be in J's corner
it'll be two on one is that a problem for you if you can't handle it I can
always go find someone who can we just bully this guy dude I can do it good
don't miss things for seven this is an opportunity for you to step up don't let
me down we're the evil guy music playing the background dude how do we set
That is our default, by the way.
Oh, let's, uh...
Turn the announcers on.
It's not a wig, dude.
Man, I swore I turned them back on.
The environment might be why Archer was so quiet.
Environment is also the crowd, who was sharing non-stop and was gigafucking loud even on 35s.
I think I'll live without the archer's song, if I'm being honest.
Ah!
Wait.
How come I couldn't choose between the two different, uh, all the songs in this game
sound like one two eat my fucking poo who you mean co-worker music yeah this
sound like that
one two eat my fucking poo oh baby give me a boop because I wasn't in the
tire
set default attire
Yep.
There he is.
Oh, we need shoes or what?
Who is that? Where's Moomoo?
This is Evil Moomoo, and he, uh, he got the Hair Surgery.
And he got the Hair Surgery, boys.
Be careful what you ask for.
Spangor?
I
Need shoes
Where those are kind of cool
Wouldn't Evil Moonbeam be skinny?
I
Oh
I can't go down
I
Know that doesn't stand for electric
Wow Wow
you've all been moving probably drives a cyber truck
Oh, yeah, we'll decide anyone.
We'll decide another one, dude.
No problemo.
Perfect.
la muda
la mas muda
let girls make the same world
Okay, we need to do the killer.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
Ha ha ha ha ha
Oh
Nice!
Am I missing anything?
Someone did have a good idea.
Someone didn't have a good idea.
Nice.
Every Steven's this is sick.
Nice.
Every Steven is this sick.
New evil entrance.
Yeah, we could whip one up one quick.
What's the most evil song, though?
It won't take three hours, hang on, fellas, hang on.
I know exactly what I want to do.
Wait, is there no way to save this?
Did they come back to it?
Do they have gang rolls?
Maybe.
Where is he?
Where is it?
Clone your character maybe?
Wait, what the?
Hello?
Check out this, there's a black song?
Check out their black song.
I will.
I'm looking for...
Intro is nothing for most entrances.
Okay, most of them.
Where's the one where the guy who reels the lantern on the the stage which that one called?
So what's that look at war machine?
Oh
That's a good one.
That's a good finishing one here.
Now that's cool dude.
I don't look up my skirt.
Okay, we're gonna change the music, will we, fuck?
Oh
Shit
I think we do a better song. I think we do a better song.
The song was good. Disagree.
I need some evil music, dude.
Gang roll? Oh yeah. I don't know if he's out of here.
Oh
I
Want to see where the music
the
bird here is under tier B
Where's the Razer scooter?
I'm bending the ropes with my mind, by the way.
I'm gonna go back to the base.
I don't like the birds in here, man. I don't be honest.
Who's this?
Oh, it's over there.
I am happy that's the way you do, baby!
The ropes are like bending as I approach them, by the way.
Okay, kind of tough dude.
The lantern's lame.
The lantern's cool because it cuts the music when it blows it out dude.
Too party hard. I don't know if you can use the Andrew W.K. song.
You saw it, did you?
It isn't DLC.
Yeah, I like the KnoA one either.
Now I think we do the triple H1 voice, I'm kind of sold on the triple H1, I'm kind of
sold on the triple H1.
Are there any entrances that start not like this, so you won't get like, yeah, what's
What's the time of the day?
Lake Monroe?
you
All right, now I gotta delete this entry costume so that we will have our evil mullet
an evil uh...
evil eye patch
evil shirt
shut up
No
Just copy and paste
Oh, it's just like
It's just a room it originally is the Ric Flair room actually
What's up hacky?
I call him a hacky because we're best friends.
Shut up!
I didn't know that.
Russell really did a sand, huh?
I really did a sand, did it not?
That just looks like fat big boss.
of
that's not the art of life is expected for us
from brawlahorah, holy skull Mexico, weighing in at 200 at 2 pounds, and turn loraz!
clearly the archetype is playing my game with jey uso by sending his flunky hector
florage to compete in his place, we should have known he would pull something like
this, but the tion has found him
why let jey uso dictate the terms of the fight?
The archetype is showing he does things how and when he wants to.
It's time to see if this last minute swirer works out.
Is he gonna get seriously injured and then hate us?
Oh wait, maybe we're setting up to injure this guy.
I
By injured I mean come to the ring with a gun
WWE
This is a unique pairing we haven't seen before she really has a common enemy brought them together
And now that common enemy isn't even here Jason so sure to take out his frustration on the archetype stand-in
It's just me.
He's gonna call himself the main of the game.
If J. Uso can eat his way to victory here.
You think Hector stands a chance, fellas?
J. Uso has got to be fixed here
when this match gets underway.
He had no idea he'd be facing Hector Flores.
And now he can take out all his frustrations on Hector.
Florence is pretty much drawn to the wounds by his so-called friend.
That's where you got it wrong, Booker.
The archetype is not friends with anyone.
This is all transactional.
And I for one think there's more going on here.
I would not be surprised if there's another swerve coming for Jey Uso.
Andre, he's from behind.
Oh, man.
Ooh!
Here we go! In for the DDT! Lights out!
Oh my goodness, dribbling the opponent's head like a basketball!
It made him a Jey Uso isn't looking so big after that hit there.
Oh yeah, the moment one took the scale in his favor.
In the corner, has to find a way out of there.
A top rope died.
And Jay reverses, these two having an answer by every thing.
The Arkentite's last-minute replacement, Hector Florez is doing everything he can to
hang on against a frustrated main event, Jey Uso.
Oh god.
Florez with some agility, said, flying with that runner.
We're turning to the ring now.
athleticism is off the charts good reflexes from in there so what was coming
let's try it was it oh no oh right to them back in the neck
From the top, elbow drop!
Okay, easily done.
Hector is in the zone and letting his opposition know it.
Oh, I'm targeting the wrong guy.
Can't guess caught. These two battling to a game heat with these reversals.
He better be able to back up all this jibber jabber
Down he goes Jay looking powerless to Hector with the Irish whip, but Jay hangs on
It lands a super kick. Hey, the floor is is in trouble here losing touch the second. He got put in this match
Jey you saw his this and it's over
Don't do it
the
U.S.
I did it for the rock.
Isn't that right, Brick T.
I'm here because actions have consequences.
That's James that's dead.
So I took things home.
Oh my god.
My god.
I think we're done here.
In all my years covering WWE, that was one of the most disturbing things I've ever
seen.
The so-called archetype has dug himself to an all-new low.
We killed that guy.
Nice.
Hopefully shot him though with a gun. I think that would have been a bit more
Bit more he better heal work. I am L
Every day we all favor he's you straight a medical facility for various injuries, but expecting to make a full recovery
Ron killing says what you did was definitely not hashtag and neat
Yeah, but look at us though
Wait for it
I'd ask what the hell you were thinking attacking a WWE Hall of Famer at their home, but I already know the answer
You weren't thinking at all. That's where you're wrong, Aldous
Maybe the old me wouldn't have had a plan, but now I have it all figured out and really
What an unforgettable final moment on SmackDown before I go back to raw to take down Bronn Breaker
Is that so?
You said it yourself if this went sideways you'd send me on my way, and I'd be raw as problem well
Judging by the shovel marks I left on Rikishi
I'd say we ventured into sideways territory
Now that may have been your plan
But you're not going anywhere
What do you mean?
There's the transfer window before summer slam there is
But you won't be in it
I've officially put you and Jey Uso on the protected list.
You said it yourself.
The actions have consequences.
Well you will deal with yours when you face Jey Uso at SummerSlam.
You can't do this.
I can.
And by the way, since you took the fight out of the arena, your match at SummerSlam
will be false count anywhere.
The US title better be on the line.
I'm sure Jay won't have a problem with that as long as he gets his hands on you.
Fine, then I'll see you at SummerSlam.
I saw what Jay you so said on social media.
I'm not going to give him the chance to make good on his threats before our match.
If that means I won't have to deal with you for a few weeks.
So stupid.
That sounds good to me.
God, that guy is like seven feet tall, dude.
And the person who made our character made us like five foot two, bro.
Yep.
Looking, looking so far up.
2-3, thanks for 7.
Oh yeah, that's not a high-pattern.
This is a Falls-Cattle-Anywhere match!
And it's full of the WWE United Starex Championship!
wait we're gonna win a championship
this great market time steps out of the summer slam stage
scrapping boys
It's been several weeks since we last saw the former archetype, and despite all of his recent actions he somehow has a chance to capture championship gold here tonight.
Sometimes bad behavior gets rewarding, but if I were him I wouldn't be worried about titles.
I'd be more concerned with getting out of here in one piece after what it did to J. Uso's father, Rikishi.
Don't you forget there's no shield like that on all of the diehack
The game's got lots of play
She's got to stay
It's time for the Harkinside to pay for their sins
Come on fat snake you got this bro.
Jey Uso is here, with payback on his mind.
Jey Uso is here for one thing tonight, and that's revenge for what was done to his fun.
But you have to wonder if Jey Uso is too hyped up for this match.
Revenge can be a strong motivator, but it can also lead to mistakes.
And that's what his opponent is hoping for tonight.
He stole our old intro, no we sold his.
I've never seen this guy wrestle in real life.
Evil Moon is just behind me.
He's getting his calisthenics in right now.
He sucks so hard it's funny.
I mean, it looks like he's overcompensating, so it makes sense.
USA, USA.
I
Introducing the challenger from Jacksonville, Florida
Remember you like
The United States Championship may best change, oh so!
Let me see if it's real good.
One of the most prestigious titles in all of sports entertainment here for the taking, the United States Championship.
should make that shot a real gold dude get his fucking name off that show so tacky dude
let's rock
stay his match has it all family pride revenge a once proud superstar who's turned to the dark side
I don't know, yeah, the United States championship is at stake.
You forgot to mention this is Hall's county anywhere.
With everything that's going down between these two,
this match could get wild.
I'd be shocked if it didn't turn into all-out chaos, Booker.
But this is what Summerslam is all about.
Off the court, Royce on zombie.
We're going to traumatize this guy.
This is bigger than the United States championship.
Jey Uso is fighting for his father here tonight.
Sensing in a waist lock, but right hands, big right hand.
Here.
Not yet.
Positioning them in the corner here.
Oh, what a response.
Off they go.
Now he's on a drop.
Oh, he cuts it off.
Hey, Hector.
Just a guard.
He could reversal by Jay.
And he has an answer for Jay.
Kick to the gut.
Create separation.
A clash of counters and these superstars did their homework.
Do not counter me. Do not counter me. Do not counter me. Do not counter me.
Pet butt and a back of the neck. The champ taking a bit of damage.
He knew coming into this false count anywhere match would seriously test his stamina.
Ah, focused on weakening that arm.
Oh no.
Oh
There's this guy no, he's way to ringside now
Looking to explore things ringside now using that barricade with great effect
Driven into the barricade
right to the kidneys from behind direct and brutal impact
Oh my!
Counter side coming
Out
He flipped out of the way there
Close line takes him down
Forget about it
Hey, forget about it
Hey, oh
I'm wrestling over you
I need to get my weapon headed out to ringside now. What is he a plan?
We'd smash against the barricade there man. Oh, he's swag stepping on me
No! Reversed into a decapitating clothesline!
Oh no.
Schoolboy! No! Rolls through!
And a super kick!
Elbow drop!
For the title!
No.
And he gets to shoulder up before two.
Battling out, he's not letting himself get put away just yet.
Am I going to shovel?
You're going to shovel?
Looks like he's opted to go with the simple but effective statement here.
Ah, vigorous impact from the choke slam.
My referee unable to make the contact there.
I'm so fucking sorry.
Laps evilly.
Oh, the chair projected right to their face.
Swing that damn steel chair without a care in the world.
Oh, watch out.
There's a seat for your face, holding nothing back, striking over and over again.
There has to be permanent damage being done right now.
Oh, no, the referee absorbing the impact.
Come on, stop this, your point's made.
No need to keep on doing this.
And now he's back to the right.
Take him backstage.
Oh, he could do that.
Oh, swinging that like the Bambino.
Just well in a way with that whip,
and like there's no tomorrow.
This is getting damn dangerous.
Trading counters here.
Time responds with a counter of the loan.
Oh, look out, it's on now.
Oh.
The fight is on, and it's furious.
And this match is swiftly turning into a lockdown drag-out affair.
So you get great grand uppercut.
See, I don't think about what just happened, buddy.
He's leaving the ring now. No cutouts to worry about.
I have no idea why there was a shovel under there,
But I do know what they intend to do with it.
Look out! This is getting out of hand!
Jey Uso gets out of the way inside.
Get right away into the pin and that count stops short of two.
He might have used everything he had left to kick out there.
There. I say no.
Driven into the steel in steps. It goes back into the ring here.
Oh, he's just baiting his opponent now.
Oh no, a referee falling prey to the chaos and the ring.
He knows it's hard not to stand tall when you're the one with the shovel in your hand.
That is so fucking evil.
The rest got a little too close to the action there.
No doubt about it. This is just that extreme insult to injury.
This is beyond personal now. This is about putting the competition out of action.
Come on. This has gone way too far. Just stop this already
Getting out of home's way
I'm here veins southern that swift and brutal impact. I don't know if Jay who's so good with Stan much more of this
Oh, Jay who's old kind of bit the script soon, man
Put in a back of the neck a blow like that might have been seen stars right now
Watch out!
Basis through here.
Farah Fischer got caught in the line of fire.
And we knew that these two were getting into a fight.
But neither one of these men is backing down here.
Hang on, is that the QCC's music?
The Hall of Famer is here for revenge!
What the hell does he think he's doing?
The dad looking to put this one away.
And he only stays down for a one count, sending a huge message kicking out of that.
I want that fat piece of shit back here right now.
And a first in damage there.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
What a shot!
I think we about to set up or if I'm being honest.
You know, you know, he answers right back.
Wait, he said that one.
From the second rope.
Sunset flip from the second rope.
Oh!
They're fighting it.
Oh.
Forearm smash.
Taking things to the top rope.
All right.
There it is!
Oh, guys, watch this breathtaking athleticism of the 450!
You have solidified your name as a top athlete when you're able to pull off that.
We are the new champion, unbelievable!
Here is your winner, and no!
WWE United States Champion, Jesse Ann May!
James is so expected to be defeated and we have a new United States champion.
This man shouldn't be champion. Let alone represent the United States.
I'm ready to all disagree. He won the match and now we all have to deal with it.
I want to change what they call man.
That's awesome.
Is there a guard listening? I would like to get some coffee.
Okay!
Passes you the ox?
Thank you!
I don't know what's going on with my voice.
I'm done.
Bro, kick CEO working on a fucking UAV killstreak.
Can we get three in one month?
What is this, I just opened your stream?
I'm playing Mario Maker dude.
I
Like hey guys thought this was a poop joke. Well, there's so many people that are like ha ha poop funny ha ha
You didn't know mother fucker
I knew how long this level was when I started it, I knew dude.
Oh god.
You know, I don't use this incantation anymore, really, I'm trying not to, but.
I'll stick to this Maximus!
Your balls!
No longer produce potent sperm!
Like, I think I was paying attention actually, I would be dead, right?
It's so hard to see anyone on this ship.
And now I'm invisible.
This guy's not even anywhere near his friend.
thing.
You dumb bitch.
Do not bazooka me.
Oh, oh, oh.
We don't have a single inch of skin showing right now.
You know, the mystery is what's sexy.
I don't think so.
I mean, it probably looks like a whore.
Well, we can't say that!
He can. You do.
I just did it for the party.
That dinner, I told my kid, um, if you fall asleep in the car, you owe me a million dollars.
And I didn't really think of anything, anything of it.
But when we got into the car, as we're pulling out of the city that we were in, I looked
back at him.
It's like 8 at night, so it's kind of dark out.
He said, he looked at me and he said, I'm not going to fall asleep.
And I was like, okay.
And then there was like a five second pause, and he says kind of like more quietly.
He said, I don't have any money.
Okay, we're getting paid the big way.
I was supposed to turn.
No!
That's fine.
That's okay.
We're on a leisurely cruise right now, yes.
You see that? You see that ship right there?
Europe?
You see that ship, bro?
Huh?
That's freedom baby the freedom to choose to randomly buy if you want
This is Captain Juan Dayou cargo class ship ID UC 793A requesting permission to dock
Real identity confirmed
Pay attention
Prepare your ship
Hey!
Hey look where you're going!
Look where you're going!
Dude!
You're a dock and dock you pay too
Stop your ship!
Looks like we're clear.
We'll talk more once we're docked.
We'll talk more once we've got it.
Stop! Dude, stop!
This guy's a fucking badass. I think he's just showing off.
Like he's fucking, he's going upside down and shit dude.
Alright man. You're good.
A girlfriend is telling me to tell you to stop using the phrase stupid bitch.
Also, she said come up with something more creative
Man, bitch just has like a certain bite to it that you can't get anywhere else, man
I mean like cunt is close
But holy fuck
Bitch just sounds sharp bitches bitches the noise
That your shoes wish they can make after being shined like the best shine that you like after you've got the finest
Fucking haircut ever dude. You got the the tightest fit the fucking finest
Yeezys that you've ever purchased from the back of a Walmart from a guy on Craigslist dude
That's the sound the bitch makes for me man
Bitch
Call him a bitch
Don't walk past them with sort of delacping just go laughs
Be bad, be a bit currently pickback in your room for a reason
My god
Thank you guys I'm back
I'm back. I'm back. I'm back
That is so fucking evil dude.
I guess you could say it's time to play the game.
It's time to play the game!
more concerned with your actions as of late. Here we go. Someone has to talk some sense into you.
I tried when I came to your gym but you made it abundantly clear that you weren't ready to listen
and you even took a golden opportunity away from Hector Flores. Also, he could do your bidding
so you can go attacking innocent man in his home and for what? That champion chip?
Old man? Old man? Old man? I tell you it's not worth it. Not even close. You ever see that
Kind of sounds like lash
Not wrong
Wait, maybe it is the lash voice actor
Do we get to do like a face turn?
Or is it too late for evil moon moon?
Sorry, I have to turn up my uh, the game during cutscenes.
this beautiful ball is beautiful no no no give us the snaker this guy chose these sides
he's moving in here let's see
I don't think so.
I've got Moonbeam.
There's no evil, huh?
They have the letter around.
There it is.
Do I clear this?
evil and
That's hard
So one said that the music was as an ad porn as wrestling fans
I think pretty much everyone didn't like the MWO song, which that's what that was
It is annoying I am
They had red NWO, which is slightly whoa
I
Overheard what Adam Pierce was saying to you greetings. I couldn't agree more
Okay, seriously. I don't have time for another lecture. Let me finish I
Couldn't agree more with you
So you ruffled some feathers since you've come back who cares. It's working
Is she gonna blink or what?
Just did bitch. That's what I've been saying
I've tried to play the sympathetic underdog and to put things in your terms
It's much better to be the one holding the shovel
So block out the noise from the virtue signallers and keep doing what you're doing
Before you know it
You'll have everything you want
Hmm, okay, thank you
You really got in Jay's head with everything you did and it showed tonight the plan was
perfect
We can blame this guy.
Okay.
Perfect.
Are you forgetting you lost to Jey Uso?
Ultimately I fixed things with what I did but your performance that night was embarrassing.
But you won tonight.
You still hung up on that?
detail matters get your act together this whole arrangement your opportunity to be a
part of my comeback it's over understood this guy's the stab us in the back
dude I mean what was he actually expecting me saw this guy you'll hear
from the new United States Champion Moon Moon coming up at the post-summer
Slam press conference ooh another press conference mmm time to be extremely
Please welcome be new United States champion the floor is open to questions
Robin Ray we'll start with you
Thanks, one of the hottest topics on my podcast has been your new attitude
Is it here to stay?
I thought you all would have come up with some better questions since the last time I did one of these, but
I guess not. All I have to say is look at what I have sitting on the table with me.
My so-called new attitude has brought me nothing but success.
Doc, picture yourself.
Despite everyone telling me I should be something else, this isn't temporary.
This is who I am.
Okay, next up is Robert Inkin from Sports Coverage Daily.
I wanted to ask about what's next. Now that you've gotten past Jey Uso, what about a possible rematch with Bron Breaker?
Everyone knows this version of me would tear Bron Breaker apart. And that's exactly why the office is too scared to let me go back to raw.
They blocked me in the transfer window and I'm sure they'll continue to protect their paper champion as long as they can.
until then I have my own title to defend one more of these sacks than I'm done
okay let's go with Marcus Brown a wrestling spectator can you define your
relationship with Hector Flores is he your tag partner your manager both
lovers neither I'm his mentor that means sometimes he learns by teaming
with me and other times from my corner. In return for that valuable experience, he does
whatever I tell him to do. No questions asked. And speaking of, there will be no more questions
asked by any of you. Next time, do better.
You said the Twitter thing, dude.
Hope this helps. Hope this helps.
Hey, we unlocked Rikishi. Can't wait to play some Rikishi.
Hello, nurse.
I just wanted to let you know that your issue with our family is far from over.
How many relatives does this motherfucker have, dude?
Dude, I beat your brother-in-law in the ring beat your father-in-law with a shovel
Unless you got any other in laws you want me to take out. I think we're done here what goes around comes around
Watch your back
Okay
What a road dog. We're kind of best friends. So trees glad to see me
If it isn't our piece of crap United States champion, okay
A real professional, Road Dog.
You wanna talk about professional?
Aren't you the one who went to a WWE Hall of Famer's house
and assaulted him with a shovel?
You're not professional. You're criminal.
So we're just bringing that up again.
And yet, here I am, walking among the free.
So, if I were you, I'd be more careful about what I said.
Never know which WWE Hall of Famer I'll end up burying next.
I'll keep that in mind.
Anyway, I've been told I have to give you title defense matches, so let's get this over with.
Yeah.
Let's.
My transfer request to Raw was rejected too, so here's your next match.
What?
Stop trauma-dumping me, bitch.
That's not up to my championship standards.
Give me a better option.
You know we gotta get Joe underground, too.
Ooh!
The following contest is Skipper 4-1-4 and is for the WWE United States Championship.
skips El Grande Americano. Ever for a lot of days.
Say his name and he appears!
Joe Henry has arrived!
There's a superstar whose intense power can dictate the whole match.
Tucked to compete with his power in the underground.
He's going to ride to the occasion or get the bright lights of the championship quite
Thank you much for your time.
You're the talk of this guy's free time.
I'll say you're the talk of this guy's free time.
What's this guy's gimmick?
If you say his name when he appears, that's his gimmick.
WWE Backstreet's a really dropping quality.
He's not the man we remember, but the archetype is here.
This man's return was celebrated, but you've got to wonder how the archetype's die-hard
fans feel about this attitude.
He returned because he has unfinished business.
His true fans should appreciate his willingness to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
The punishment is about to begin.
The title of the pro blows, and we're going to have to change the title of the pro.
If I change it, I'm going to be literally drinking the sick.
I am champion.
Wait for it.
and built Florida, weighing in at 228 pounds.
The WWE United States Champion, Big Evil F.
Yeah, boy.
This is all for the highly decorated United States Championship.
Harley Race, the inaugural champion, truly a tough man's title.
Underground rules are made for the baddest of individuals.
You can only win via knockout, DK or submission tonight.
The WWE United States title is on the line tonight.
These superstars look determined not to leave empty handed.
I'm gonna call my brother.
But tension here is gonna be fierce.
That US title has earned a real shine in recent years.
It's not just a stepping stone to bigger things,
it's an achievement worth pursuing in and of itself.
Boom, sent straight into the ring post.
Ah, Jess post went off the post.
Say his name and he appears...
No!
Impressive awareness from him!
Hehehehe!
Come on, man.
Say his name and...
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Yep, here he is.
He's in the back of the neck.
Okay, he should really focus on the match now.
We get the point.
Never mind. I'm the giant.
Whoa!
The forearm smash!
He's headed out to the ringside area.
The Redeemer.
A shuffle ready to bury the competition, I suppose.
And with a weapon in hand, the stakes just got dramatically
raised in this match.
Oh, Trash can let sit careening, hitting the target.
Henry having trouble shifting the tides.
And Henry needs to find that spark.
Brought down by the throat.
And you might be biased, but I have to ask,
Who is the bigger advantage in an underground match?
A striker or a grappler?
No biases here.
This is not a simple either or question.
The biggest key is to be adaptable.
Switch your discipline when the moment calls for it.
Give him a massage.
Massage those big Scottish shoulders, Dan.
Ooh.
He's just looking absolutely bullied right now.
He looks absolutely sapped from the beating he's been taking.
Here we go again.
He made his point.
Constantly in the match instead of everything outside of it.
Joe keeps him at bay.
That was a stiff shot with the shovel.
Escaped just in time.
By the Throtten driven down.
Good God Almighty, that could end it all right here.
Caught the leg.
Cluck's line takes him down.
Forget about it.
Clucked by the flying trash can lid.
An aggressive charge against Joe now.
Joe has addressed his instincts at this point.
I
Know with the cow
Opportunity for injury to shift the momentum, but Joe still has to do more to get this fully in his favor
Oh smash
Excuse me back to get to take beans outside the ring now
Watch those
Taking the action to the outside
You might be taking a breather here
Bring it out the kendun stick and you know it's on now
Joe keeps him up bay
Oh trash can that's it careening hitting the target
Or you get great grand uppercut
Wait a second shaking things off and getting back into this one precision punch
And we've just witnessed what it means exactly to have adrenaline in your soul.
Making a hasty retreat to the outside.
Something to consider this an act of cowardice by Prince Mithig.
It's strategic thinking.
Oh, Henry has come off.
Oh, buddy, buddy, buddy.
How about some ladder?
Watch out, talking those steel steps like they're nothing.
An aggressive charge against Joe now.
Joe's cage might be a bit rattled.
Quick way to respond to the reversal.
What?
Wait, that's the rep.
What a high kick.
Target acquired.
Reference in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Take notes everyone, this is what real war looked like.
This is true passion in the read man.
He's better leaving it all between the ropes tonight.
He's just stacking up these attacks.
This means he's cracked the code to his opponent.
Who knows?
I want to slam him on the steps.
The V is the attack by Walfloat.
Uh-oh.
Joe Hendry.
Stabby dog Vasion.
Could that be enough to gain the title?
No.
We have plenty of them nailed it.
Quick evasion from him there.
I wish I could hit the civilians, I call them civilians because evil moon moon likes to
steal valor.
Oh, just bouncing off that ring post, what a gruesome sound we just heard.
At the back of the neck, what's coming here?
That is his back.
The rogers choke slam right in the face.
Again?
Uh-oh.
Again? Uh-oh.
A reversal! He saw that coming.
Uh-oh.
Taking their time.
Oh, vertical suplex.
Look at the power here.
Absolutely incredible.
Walking around the ring.
Oh, nylon!
Kick right into my body.
Swapping some big time swings here.
Oh, Henry gets cut off.
Big shots being fired right now.
Neither competitor letting up.
Blow after blow.
Test of endurance at this point.
It's over.
And look at this.
Choke slam!
Consider your title dreams dashed after that.
Or the horse call. That wasn't just a win. That was a warning to anyone who thought the archetype was true.
you
You
You know, one of the most prestigious titles in all of sports entertainment here for the
taking the United States championship.
It's Rey Mysterio, Jr.
We're like Rey Mysterio back dots because that's what he's about to get for me.
The United States Championship has a tremendous amount of history dating back to stop you
call we know the history tonight.
This match is about the future.
The United States Champion isn't focused on how he won it.
He's focused on keeping it.
As much as I want to, I can't argue with that, Corey.
Saw that one coming in the driver's seat now.
Yeah, that attack really backfired, didn't it?
I don't know.
And that is why it always pays to be on your toes in WWE.
Started that match one step ahead is always a good thing.
Boom!
Your attempt at a power bomb here, but no reforce.
And the title's changing hands.
I wanted to add some drama to you.
I wanted it to go to two.
There's the battle and this championship match is underway.
Oh yeah, and this championship has been highly contested.
But only one of them is going to walk out of here tonight.
Oh, big first shot.
Hit me again.
This is turning into a ball.
Neither of them willing to back down,
showing no signs of weakness.
This is going to be brutal.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Headbutt in the back of the neck.
Break circle.
I
Hector
Fans off the attack with an elbow
Right to the kidneys from the challenger and during the punishment might be just what he needed to wake up here to really get his head in this fight.
That will rock you.
Rey Mysterio is in some serious trouble.
Rey's got to find a way to defend himself.
Headed back into the ring.
showing no sign of respect for his opponent.
Pansels look.
He gets back in right before the count.
Leaving him against the topical right here.
I'm not, I'm not totally with you.
Oh God.
Oh, that's the match right there.
All that for nothing.
Dude.
All you did was Irish whip him.
I guess it's because I elbowed him in the back first and he was like, hey, wait, I don't
get to retry.
Why I lost the build.
I hope this title defense is up to your standards. Get me a better match or I'll
actually back out. Oh, right. DQ. Right. We're going to skip this until we fix our
intro. This is all for the highly de... Oops. Which Rey Mysterio are you? Are you Rey Mysterio
1, 2, or 3? Champion versus champion. It doesn't get any more high quality than this. What
doesn't get any more high stakes either Cole. Both of these superstars are at their peak,
But this has to be one of the most nerve-wracking situations they could find themselves in.
Right now there's no room for any self-doubt.
Yeah, Corey.
You like that big man?
And you think they're going to try and plant that idea in each other's heads early.
What the counter!
These never been known to play nice with the crowd.
Well placed, kick.
What awareness scene, Ray coming.
Quite flat with the forearm
Powerful uppercut finds the mark
You're done, sir. I lost to you in several other dimensions in the corner now
participation
Springboard misses the target letting the competition know oh
Sorry, but he kinda headed coming
He's throwing it back.
Chokeslam!
Disrespecting the competition.
Bang!
Oof!
It's a great thinking.
Even quicker movement right there.
Chokeslam!
That last attack really took a toll on the champ.
Yeah man.
But I don't see any reason to worry yet.
We've got to wonder if Ray can withstand this.
We've got a wonder if rake you would stand this mysterious
It's just trying to weather the storm
Good great grand uppercut
Yeah, like the shitty rock remix of that song right now
giving him into the corner and Ray had it scouted
What
Or you could splash
Guessing a big Toby with his opponent here
Okay, he should really focus on the match now we get the point. I'm starting to get the feeling this guy might be
Quick-thinking counter into a takedown.
Reversal after reversal.
These two are ready for each other.
Dueling reversals.
Going counter for counter.
Now, can it be capitalized on?
Brought in the hard way.
Just as hard day to see Mysterio str-
anybody's way out hooked up here we go I think it did that's a real break breath
and the champ gets three and one what's he doing he had this match in the bag
he is as good as it gets enjoy everybody
Run in Hurricanrana!
Fantastic!
Returning back to the ring.
Fires back from the crucial elbow.
I turned the music back.
You gotta love the music.
Producing a trampoline!
Ball kick connects.
Here we go.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Oh, man, laying it in there, just laying it to the body with some more offense.
Good, great, great number, champs down.
This one's for everything.
There it is, the chimp is falling.
Here's your winner, that's still WWE United States Champion, Nick E. Paul.
From the opening battle, he just didn't compete.
He had the hair destroyed as a coldness to the way he needs it.
It's affected by his own segment.
The way the tongue comes out is so fucking good.
Yeah we got a fix to that hang on.
Burn.
420 up, I'm just so you know.
Thank you!
That's not my cost dude.
Oh
Can't go please the game
Hold on.
Dude.
It's no longer time to play the game.
It's no longer...
Oh my god!
Holy shit!
of
Oh, what is the Alistair Black one for this part?
I'm pretty sure he just walked.
I don't like the Alistair Black music theme because it's got shitty new metal lyrics.
What's the name of the uh the flag saluting one again?
of the tension.
Wait, who's the skyman?
About the air?
very good very good and floating spear vicks for something the who it's your
boys the who
remember when you were nice that feels like a long time ago get me a better
match. Yeah let me fight this twink. It's not over until I win.
Bobby Churro, thanks for selling it. The following is schedule 4-1 fall and is for
the WWE United States Championship.
Here comes the ultimate third generation superstar, the true future of Lucha Libre.
Come on, look at this piece of human garbage.
He's right, he's right, he's right.
Oh come on Cole, you can please too if you live the life of Dirty Dom.
The greatest Mysterio ever, the greatest boyfriend ever,
ever and of course the greatest intercontinental champion ever. Dirty Dominic Mysterio truly
is a certified future full of fame and thrice over. I truly have no idea what it is you and far too
many female superstars see in Dirty Dom. The kids are certified scumbag thrice over. It's called
pheromones Cole. You wouldn't understand anything about that.
really really dark in there.
I don't even know what you think about Dominic Mysterio's pheromones.
hahahaha
You think this guy might win?
Nah.
He's so match for Biggie Balloon.
the
I like his bullet.
Before we hear our returns, with a whole new attitude.
Fuckin' Hector man, get off the stage bro.
Holy fuck!
The archetype used to be a symbol of discipline and grit.
Now he walks to the ring like the whole world owes him something.
Maybe it does.
He spent years playing by the rules and getting passed over.
Now he's rewriting the rules and he's like a symbol.
divine stage 2
he's not farting over there man, he's a oral farmer
this isn't a return, it's a reckoning
Hahahaha!
Boss!
Introducing the challenger.
From San Diego, California, playing in at 200 pounds.
Dirty...Tamaric Mysterio!
Wow, he sure is evil.
And his opponent from Jacksonville, Florida, weighing in at 228 pounds, the WWE United
States Champion, Big Evil M.
Yeah, get a little of this.
This is evil right here.
They should hire me to design that guy's costume.
This is all for the highly decorated United States Championship.
Carly Rae's the inaugural champion, truly a tough man's title.
You think you're swag or something?
Tied on a line here, big fight feel right now.
These superstars know it, and so does the WWE Universe.
And when the gold is on the line, that's when the lights are truly at their brightest in this business.
Um guys are on this match right now. Will we have a new champ or will the status quo remain with this way?
Landy in the uppercut. He's able to sidestep out of that
Back and forth counter after counter. He's getting ready
Suplex
I honestly can't believe we just saw a human being tossed like that
A disgusting attack on the eyeballs.
And that might shake Mysterio's focus.
But this is not his first rodeo.
He knows this is only the beginning.
Oh, he reversed.
And into the corner he goes.
Oh!
Strikes with the forearm.
Oh, what a slam!
Look at this incredible impact and Dominic is failing to offer any resistance here.
Dominic's facing adversity here.
The tweak is so much bigger than we are, dude.
Right through the kidneys from behind.
Oh, a merciless strike.
Headbutt in the back of the neck.
Ah, well, he'd get on with it already.
This is a fight.
Get up, bro.
Which one am I?
I'm the one that looks cool.
Oh, big splash in the corner.
Up the rope, he goes.
I hope that helps.
From the top.
Oh, coming down from the way up top.
The champion is willing to take every risk tonight.
So I'm the rep.
No.
I'm the cool-looking guy.
How the slugger was sliding up and snap down with an inverted DDT.
The nice center for it.
Oh, what an elbow high on the chin.
Oh, the knees, the knees caught him. Could be a turning point.
What a counter.
Oh, Dominic Magirio right now.
Oh, wait a minute. He's setting his opponent up. He's going to go for that.
the 6-1-9. That's not gonna move.
Stepping up to the top.
From above!
From the top!
Oh, the high-risk gave no reward there.
Look at this, grabbing the opponent by the skull and slamming him down.
Not sure if he should waste all this time hot dogging around.
The red and Terry move.
Set right into the corner.
Dominic gets the better there.
A masterful display of defense from both wrestlers.
Play them on top rope.
Oh
You know what they say gentlemen
What do they say Corey what goes up must come crashing down?
They need to beg
Be into a bag
Love him or hate him you have to admire his confidence
And he re-enters into the ring. Oh, we're all up here
Wait, can you hear it?
Man, a shoulder is lifted before one.
But after shrugging off the pin, how much can he really have left?
Possing him in the corner for something here.
Oh.
These two are firing off on each other, man.
Boom!
Come on, dirty dog.
Oh, this exchange is whipping this capacity crowd
into a frenzy.
Put it up for Cut.
It's over.
Good, great.
Grand uppercut.
Cutter!
He's going to take this down.
and still in this he's got that fighting spirit and he's not staying down for
nothing and he retaliates
I think it got him up. Oh he fights back. No one has ever kicked up him up.
All right, Dominic gets cut off.
Graped across the top rope.
Clubbing forearm.
Channeled that power.
Okay, he should really focus on the match now.
We get the point.
And his ribs may be smarting as it seems his torso is the target de Jure.
Quick reflexes from Dominic.
Turns that in his favor.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Boom! Connecting fully with that one.
And Dominic's resolve might be wavering here.
Alongs must be going off in Mysterio's head now.
Oh, and a double-washed handle.
Little insult to your injury.
What?
Leading on the turnbuckle here.
Scoopfly on cover.
New champ incoming.
Kick out after one from the champion.
He made me down, but somehow he's
definitely not out at this point. It retaliates with a counter. Both sides
with answers. He fucking threw it in the office. He fucking countered it. And the
jumpy jumpy in the universe is making their appreciation for these gladiators
known. Climbing the turnbuckles to the top. Dominic Mysterio knees up, got the
knees up just in time.
I think we're gonna hit him with it boys.
I think we're gonna hit him with it.
Right for the kidneys from behind.
Oh, simply devastating.
Dying with the reversal.
Ooh, forearm shot to the face.
He's headed up high.
I'm you good better.
The title's not going anywhere tonight.
Retains the title.
Here is your winner and still WWE United States champion,
Big Evil.
The archetype ability to tap and it was darker terrific difference here to look at the time
to face off I did someone who doesn't just want to wait they want to take you
What the heck?
Yeah!
I'm a nice man!
Yeah, I'm a...
Dude, they got the ass man song in this?
Who's- was that Valvinus?
No. Valvinus had like the porn song.
Mr. Ass.
This next title defense, I've got someone lined up who's not the biggest fan of your work.
This one's going to be personal.
Um, yeah, it better be 97 overall Stone Cold Steve Austin in parenthesis buggy, otherwise
as they don't stand a fucking chance.
The following is schedule four, one fall,
and it's four, the WWE United States Championship.
The Coke and LHS three.
It's the United States champion,
KIDA CONTINUE GOVERNANCE!
I'm so sick of Hector.
The United States champ has been on quite the run as of late.
Even if you don't like how he goes about his business, you have to admit he's handling
him.
You have to give some credit to his associate Hector Flores, the world champion next door,
however twisted he may be.
Hector is there and willing to do it.
I only knew it, he actually flooded the arena with the nerf gas that caused the hallucinations.
The ATV never existed.
The champion hopes to make quick work of their opponent, whoever it is.
That's evil, I know.
Who could possibly stand against Big Evil M?
Are they-
Jim Imsen was here to settle-
Is this the core relative of where Jim Imsen-
Just when the archetypes thought they had moved past this rivalry they have to face the consequences of their actions
yet again. You ain't gonna just get away without talking to someone's father. Bad easy. The champ might be in trouble here tonight. Facing a barred lust of Jimmy Uso who's looking to settle a score.
Is this guy a better wrestler than his brother?
Is every current wrestler just a child of an actually famous wrestler?
Introducing the challenge from San Francisco, California, weighing in at 251 pounds. Jimmy Uso!
It's funny because I...
And his opponent, from Jacksonville, Florida, playing in at 228 pounds, the WWE United States
Champion, Big Evil F.
You assaulted someone's dad?
Yeah, so we made a bludgeoning this guy's dad with a shovel.
They'll suck the pool.
Point is...
One of the most prestigious titles in all sports entertainment.
The United States Championship.
The champion had no idea who he'd be facing tonight.
And it turned out it's an opponent with a whole lot of motivation in the area.
It's hard enough not to know who you're going to be as goal.
But then it turns out to be someone who's got a major axe to grab.
Good luck with that.
I hear you, Booker, but we've seen the former archetype do whatever is necessary to win.
I've read the lore of the game again.
I think that still gives him the slight edge here against Jimmy Uso.
Headbutt in the back of the neck.
Jimmy Uso getting worked on right now.
Jimmy's getting exposed.
Wait.
He's scared of us.
Rightfully so.
ahead there I will kill you right to the kidneys from behind oh god
oh what a headbutt
maybe we can land a slap
totally helpless at the moment
to the outside this one is headed to the outside not my choice hard to come
back from that kind of impact six six six baby
Jimmy out of harm's way chess match of counters and reversals happening here
And he gets delivered back into the ring.
I'm moving out.
And then the US champ is overcoming the surprise factor just as I predicted.
How about this for surprise?
Bro!
Made a big game so he's in the house.
The champion better keep his eye on the ball here.
Jimmy Uso.
you so how's the United States title and the champ has no idea boom dude they're
screwing me Jimmy with the cover
that's it the song called archetype was beaten and his own game credit to Jimmy
and his brother James so this was a team effort and it looks like there's some
Discord between the now former champ and Hector Flores. Oh my god, let me come this guy.
Give me a live instead, dude. Give me a live.
Good guys, one classic. What makes those guys good guys? What?
I'm pissed proud of both of my boys about time moon moon god what he deserved neat
Fucking a Rikishi yeah like dude I would back in the day
I would already Rikishi like a C tier wrestler at least in terms of like me and enjoying watching you know him
How come he's got like nine kids that I'm just like learning about right now you know I mean
And how come I got to interact with them it was a long trip back here
So I had a lot of time to think about what happened in your match
I feel I can let you down
All right time to really make this guy feel bad you think you straight up blew it
You've been over this a hundred times
What's your job when you're out there in my corner?
Do whatever it takes to make sure you win.
Yeah. And instead, you failed to warn me that Jimmy had recovered.
And then, you did nothing while he hit me with my belt.
You cost me the match and my United States title.
I'm sorry.
Yes. Hang your head in shame, Hector.
You look like you have a chance to make up for it.
All this has booked us against the Uso's in a steel cage match at Saturday night's main event
This is your opportunity to prove your worth
I'll be ready
good
Because depending on how things go in this match a lock could change
one way or the other
Rikishi went through several failed gimmicks before that and only got over as a mid-card guy
By dancing in the middle of the ring. Yeah, he did it with like Scotty too hot here, right?
And then I mean it was cool. I like I liked that when you would dance funny fat man dancing. That was alright
It's not a bad idea.
Bron Breaker WWE.
Damn, I really broke Moon Moon didn't I?
He's up there jerking curtains in a tag match while I continue dominating anyone except
for my path.
I guess that means you're Randy Orton.
How come this guy is talking so much shit dude?
We didn't do anything to that guy.
We got the tag intro.
He's done- he looks like Snake.
I
Maybe Truma, don't forget the former champion has got to still be stinging from the US title loss.
That will provide some extra motivation in the cage tonight.
I actually hate these other things.
There's so many of them.
The Uso's the focus, seeking a revenge for everything that's transpired the last couple of months.
Dark Attack caused a lie, taking his title wasn't enough.
Tonight the Uso's gonna go to mid to aim his menu pain.
One of the red has like three DUIs. Oh, going for the high score, nice.
We are this close to seeing four men tear each other apart.
Dude, I look like this guy's sidekick and that is not.
What can we expect here guys?
Chaos, turmoil, my shit.
All of the above and more, my tool.
These four can't stand each other and now they have no option but to fight to
a finish all I know is this match will change these for me forever you can
guarantee that fists are flying in this brutal steel cage match as these four
men settle their differences once and for all the only down to shooting
through that leg now quick maneuvering managing to avoid that bit of offense
brilliant countering by both competitors drop kids beautiful he just saved
himself there drop kid finds its log what and even even dodge oh man this guy
I really think he's all decked.
Oh?
Jay avoids the offense.
Oh man. Big hand fight.
Game play in the corner here.
Destructive use of the knee.
Throw us a back.
Unlike your dad, dude.
Unlike your dad.
Not through a back.
There's no nonsense attitude of the use of being actually kind there.
Hector possibly testing the limits of his opposition.
Able to avoid.
Boy, that one caught with an A.
Ooh! Kick in and uppercut.
Right through the kidneys from behind.
That's going to leave a mark for sure.
Headbutt in the back of the neck.
Reversal! And that turns things around.
Oh my God, we're smoking him right now.
He's trying to make his way up the cage.
Using every ounce of energy to make the climb up the cage.
Over and over again. You can't get caught in a hail storm like that if you want to win.
Hector, you're a fucking pussy, you know that?
Here we go again. He made his point.
Constantly out of the match, instead of everything outside of it.
And he's straddling the top of the cage, just feet away from making it to the outside.
Making his way out. His nerves might be getting the best of him.
So close to winning now.
This is almost as good as over.
Yeah, you lost, man. You lost, man.
My fight's shaped back. Big, big back body drop.
One elevation. Check.
I also have to get out.
And he's signaling for the door.
Hey, go for the easy win. Why not?
Just a battering strike. Not target of the arm.
And able to skirt a roundout attack.
Clues line! What a way to get countered!
Oh no.
Oh no, oh no.
Punch right to the face!
No escape from these punches!
You gotta wonder where animosity in this match that we previously thought.
Starting to scale the cage wall.
Gotta be cautious here, man.
Place him in the corner here.
It knew what was coming there.
Look at Flora is getting the crowd involved.
Is he just gonna wait for me or what?
This will do it if it connects.
Here we go.
Every second he wastes up there is crucial time lost.
Does that finish?
Uh-huh.
Jimmy for good he's just gonna make it to the ground now to make this win
official yeah and he's got to be careful here
Hector even more determined than ever now he has them in his grasp brother
I mean it's time to and back elbow create separation I get it he needs to
without trying to be cute needs to get his head back to the base.
Caught in a bad spot.
Four is his feeding off the WWE Universe.
Avoided any damage, man.
Oh my God, man.
Teleports to the ground.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Boom!
Hector is in the zone and letting his opposition know it.
I don't see it, buddy.
Looking to find more grit for the climb up the cage.
Oh, look at this!
Shouting loose isn't going to help you, buddy.
Finish just the climb to the top.
He's looking to gain the higher ground on the wall of the cage here.
He's getting even closer to making an escape.
He's almost there, but it looks like he's struggling to get the other leg out.
Getting your mind back into this is one thing, but getting your body back into it is another.
And all he has to do is get it over the top of the cage, and he's home free.
He's so close, he can taste it just a little further.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye!
No one gives a fuck.
I thought only one of us had to get out, which makes more sense to me than both having to get out, but whatever dude, who fucking cares?
crowd for my clients made of entitled defense later tonight but more generally speaking
is not so likely to thank you for everything that you've done since the
raw after mania when you weren't sulking away in your gym fighting no
buddies you wasted precious time going around the world searching for
something that was never there. In the meantime, my client, Braun Breaker, was growing stronger,
successfully defending his championship against every top competitor WWE has to offer.
So I thank you, not for anything you've done, but for what you haven't done. See, when you
turn down my services that was the best thing that ever happened to me if we had
worked together you would have dragged me down with you into your world of
failure and depravity just like you have with your sickle-fant Hector Flores
yeah I don't think I haven't noticed what you've done to him what so that's
it two simple words from preventing a downward professional spiral that I
I may have never recovered from thank you. I have two words for you Paul bronze
Finished Wow when I get back to raw your client will be no match for what I become I
Will take his title bury him with that shovel and you will be left with nothing and that's not a prediction
That's a
spoiler
Is that our is that our catchphrase?
I feel like we said that once before.
And that's a spoiler.
What a cool line, dude.
I would have said.
Something like I'm going to bring a gun to WrestleMania.
I think that would be my heel.
I got to say, phrase these conversations are getting more and more difficult.
I'm gonna bring an assault rifle to WrestleMania. No one's forcing you to talk to me
No, but I feel an obligation to say something to make sure you're okay Tommy dreamer wait someone already did that shit, dude
What can I do
There's a bomb strapped.
I got two words for you, Pierce.
There's a bomb strapped.
Let me guess, but it's not too late to change it's not and if you decide to make that change
And that's a spoiler.
I'd be waiting to support you the entire way.
You have.
Uh, dude, I actually wasn't listening.
What is he offering me right now?
Sorry, I was thinking about my cool heel catchphrase.
wants my title redemption arc hmm keep it you can keep it I don't know which I
don't know actually know what I just chose now okay we chose the evil path
good I told you I'd be ready there was a hell of a when we just pulled off we
We let's not get carried away. I did most of the work out there. That actually is true
I think we might be on to something I've heard that we're next in line for a shot at the tag titles
I'm focused on the WWE Championship. Why not both?
Imagine having a title belt on each shoulder
That is if you're on board
Oh, I can apologize to him. I want that actually
I'm not on board Hector okay, we can put off the tag title match
Stop saying we
I'm not on board with going after the tag titles because I'm not on board with you
I am sick and tired of carrying you around everywhere. I go like some kind of parasite
Sucking every ounce of success out of my veins. Do you think I forgot that you cost me my United States title?
Okay, that wasn't as hard as I thought.
Yeah, that wasn't as hard as I thought it was.
You think I do?
I fucking hate Hector. I've hated Hector since the first time we ever went out with Hector because he hit us with a chair three times, so...
Hopefully we can kill this guy.
Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest WWE Champion of the 21st century.
Yeah!
And I will be champion again now that I've broken every branch of the Bloodline family tree.
Not to mention dropping that deadweight Hector Flores.
You guys pay the electric bill, Saxton?
Anyway, I'm not talking about Hector ever again.
He's the past.
And what I want to talk about is the future.
Me beating Braun Breaker for the-
What the-
Err, oh my-
You've gained yourself!
Turning you back on the line.
Now, the darkness is coming.
Uh, we're gonna wrap things up.
Dude, my skits are frantic now.
My skits are frantic, dude. Does she give you hope as a writer?
Yeah.
Dude, blood's over there trying to be fucking James Joyce.
He's sitting there in his fucking, his den with his bottle of, with his glass of brandy
and he's like putting pen to paper dude.
He's like fucking these assholes who write these fucking scripts and the WWE give
me hope as a writer.
What up?
Just think, in a different timeline, you and me are talking trash to each other about
our upcoming tag team championship match.
Aren't you excited to find out what the deal is with the ghosts?
But I know who those people are.
I'm living in this timeline.
Oh, I know.
After you and your little minion managed to steal one from the Usos, all anyone
was talking about was oh no the new day must be shaking in their boots instead look at
you now what about what about me did I use dead weight you should be counting your
blessings that I dropped Hector I bet Hector's counting his blessings now that
the Wyatt six are after you oh no come on you don't believe in all that smoke
Oh God, my character doesn't believe in magic.
Looked like you believed at the press conference.
Imagine, you suffer a nearly career-ending injury.
Come all the way back here, and now the Wyatt Six are gonna snuff your comeback out in an instant.
Vintage beat this yourself.
I'm not afraid of the Wyatt Six.
Dude, my guy is such a badass.
Not yet. See you around.
if the Wyatt's don't see you first dude I'm not scared of these chainsaw
massacre at Rednecks dude you wanted to talk no I want answers what are you
going to do about the Wyatt's six you know it's so now you believe in them what
do you expect me to do use my special Wyatt's six hotline to give Uncle howdy
a jingle and ask him to take it easy on the archetype is Uncle howdy of the
name of one of these guys.
I expect you to do your job.
Your top act just got ambushed at a press conference.
My top act?
Is that what you think you are?
Yeah.
All you have managed to accomplish since darkening my doorstep
is bullying the weak, attacking a legend,
and kicking the one person who had any respect for you
to the curb.
I do.
That guy's a piece of shit, though.
Fine.
So how about you trade me to Raw?
The only reason I returned to this cesspool of a company
was to get my WWE Championship back from Braun Breaker.
And I can't do that here.
I'm afraid running away is not an option.
Then put me in some matches and I'll show the entire world
I don't run away from anything,
including some cheap scare tactics from the Wyatt's.
No promises here other than a scheduled match.
How about a match against Joe Hendry?
They've phone-ordered it in all this. Do your job for once.
How about a Joe Hendry match?
That feels like a setup. Give me another match.
Alright.
It's like, yeah, you're getting on to whether six weird fucks who can teleport.
How about an Extreme Rules match with Joe Hendry?
Hands are tied.
A managed combat came with a cost.
The former Ark of Titan!
Hey, why are they talking about me like that? I'm still here!
There he is!
The following contest is an extreme rule.
Smash!
Making his way to the ring will stem from the lineup level.
We are at 228 pounds!
E.F.A.
I'm in the chatroom.
It's still strange to see the Arkets like come in here with an attitude that he
the E himself would have said was beneath it strange but effective it might be that
he's finally figured out how this system works and how to take what he's doing
everybody's waiting to see how far he's willing to go wait where's my intro is
all fucked up they should be playing the game music
Also, where's my belt? Did I lose my belt?
Oh yeah, we did lose our belt this red. We lost in the cutscene, dude.
Actually didn't listen. I was thinking about the cool catchphrase.
Say his name! I'm so hyped! It's Joe Hensley!
And he appears!
From Edinburgh, Scotland, waiting in at 230 miles.
War's Break wrestlers?
This is a real wrestler, dude!
I like Joe, dude.
He's cool.
He sings his own song.
And he doesn't look like he used a steroids, but who knows.
So right now extreme rules basically anything goes you can win by pinfall or submission
every hold every surface every object in the arena is all fair game for these combatants
What a forearm!
Dumb bitch.
Trying to control his opponent like a puppet on a string.
Oh, he saw it coming.
Countering each other again and again.
Goes into the corner.
Welp, we got extreme rules.
You know what that means, fellas.
Leave me the ring right here.
Take it to the floor, and he's got no worries about the count.
So he hears his name and he appears.
Diamond-quicken steel coming at ya.
Kelly in the opposition.
What's the thought here?
That's gotta end things.
How could anyone move after that?
Generating so triple the force.
And a no disqualification match.
You never want to be the one on the wrong end of a chair or a kendo stick.
Yeah, but if you are, that might just get the blood pumping.
It might just get you fired up to start fishing out even more punishment.
to your competition.
Stop right there and gut.
Great wherewithal there.
Uh oh.
Series of counters here. Who will finally capitalize?
Pay you back with your own counter.
I want to slam them on this.
Headbutt in the back of the neck.
Henry having trouble shifting the tides.
Joe's cage might be a big rattle.
Oh, and a forearm smash.
Oh, man.
Henry just got busted up.
Come on, big man.
Serious impact with the Barrakees.
He's able to dodge that one.
Stops the kick.
Clonesline takes him down.
Yeah, about it.
Stopping all that nonsense right now.
Oh, a rough landing right into the barricade.
Here we go again.
He made his point.
Concentrated on the match instead of everything outside of it.
Where's his stun meter?
Oh.
Help!
Give me a loan.
When you're a part of the blue brand, you know you have to bring it each and every time you
step into the ring.
Joe gets fended off back in this thing.
Henry comes right back at him.
Great ducking and dodging there.
And that was an efficient display of offense with that maneuver.
With them fighting on the stage like this, there's no way this is going to end well.
On this statement of the year, fighting on the stage only leads to disaster, believe me.
Henry having trouble shifting the tides.
Joe has a trust in his instincts at this point.
Fighting up on that stage, the dangerous stuff is not safe up there.
Great, grand uppercut, fighting up on the entrance stage, so much aggression on display here.
These two showing no regard for their well-being.
And Henry is finally changing the tempo with that attack.
Yeah, and I knew he was not going to deal with that for too much longer.
Down with force, German battle on the stage, danger lingering everywhere.
As we're Stone Cold at it, aren't they best friends?
He's able to stop that. He's finally able to get the reins on this one.
Yeah, Hendry able to momentarily stop the damage, but will he also gain command of this match?
He busy?
Oh.
Close line! So effective!
And nothing good has ever come from fighting up on the stage.
No, he's Stone Cold.
One for a power slam steps down, only inverted DDT.
Takes their breath out, effective counter.
These two traving counters an absolute masterclass.
I don't know if anyone brought this up at 2K, maybe this game might be easy.
I just disrespect right there, I kind of like it.
You're the same thing, bro.
Center for Robert Lambert, slides off the back.
And he burned it, DDT.
Wow!
We're dancing trading counters and reversals back and forth
And he gets set back into the ring
Sony Arabia made this game. Thank you, Sony Arabia in the moment. He better snap out of it
I'd like to thank the 27th Prince of Saudi Arabia is taking this to the outside now. Oh
Follow a slam they're starting to believe
No cells you
We are seeing such a physical match from these combatants and the wear and tear is starting to show and now's the time where the smartest competitor needs to
Take advantage of the situation needs to figure out the quickest way to end this
Talk to those steel steps like they're nothing
Do you hear that the asshole is gay?
Who's dead?
By the steps that'll make you reassess some things
can he be both diamond-plated steel coming at you repeated hits like that are
gonna add up very quick the game is being dealt here this is beyond personal
now this is about putting the competition out of action I missed my dead
And Gantola.
Say his name and he appears.
Get up on my shoulder a little bit.
Yep, Gantola.
Yep, the chatter. I already need that joke chatter.
You can still hear chatter.
He wriggles out of the gauges over there.
And now gets tossed into the ring.
Guys, the gayatola.
Hang on!
Dodge is out of the way!
Heading to the outside now.
Running Moldov!
Henry having trouble shifting the tides.
And Henry needs to find that spark.
I really want to slam him on this. I don't know what movie about this.
Oh man, check out this power!
Oh.
There's a cover!
Breaking his own pin here.
They're not sure if that's wise of him at this point.
I want to break the table.
Onto the apron and out taking out the ladder.
Doing more than that, Cole.
Making some kind of bridge.
I've never seen this end well.
I don't even get him up there.
There it is, reversal.
Finally, Joe's able to interrupt these attacks
for a moment.
Yeah, Henry will continue.
He starts for you.
Also gained command of this match.
There is an explosive device stuck into my ass.
Back to get to safety boys.
This is excellent just denigrating his opponent showing who's the superior competitor.
Party wrap release for Subb.
And Gary to come over here.
Now count out as he takes things out of the ring.
And now any and all requests for tables have been sufficiently fulfilled.
Okay, don't want to set it up, whatever, dude.
Uh-oh!
Joe keeps him obeyed.
I mean, manages to escape just in the nick of time.
I have no idea what they're setting up for here.
Same.
Attitude adjustment!
Wait, isn't that like a special?
And he slides him back to the mat.
And Henry is turning to the crowd for some assurance.
There's no way. This is incredible.
Absolutely not. Get out of here.
Take it to the floor. And he's got no worries about the counter.
A true sight to behold, only made better by that picture.
Perfect landing.
Good, great, grand uppercut.
What?
This fight now making its way over to our announced desk.
This is my cue to step aside, but you should definitely stay here and hold down the fort.
These competitors have been absolutely crack-a-jack tonight.
I don't know how this could get any better.
Oh, my goodness.
That's it.
Table and body both broken in half.
Oh, just crashing into the table.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
fighting back. Look at him go.
Oh, man, getting covered there dog.
Oh, so much disdain swinging a table like that.
Henry comes right back at him.
Pull it in for the back breaker. Ouch.
mess up we're just like you're going through the table but we have to get the
hell out of the way this is a picture of confidence I love this he just doesn't
care what anybody thinks
He was able to throw this every time.
One response after another back and forth we go.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
An aggressive charge against Joe now.
And Hendry needs to find that spark.
good great grand uppercut
okay
the fucking injury
oh fall away slam
hello
into a kickoff
well I kipped up though
one of us did
I think
one of us kept at one point.
Get up here buddy.
Get up here big man.
Hi big man.
Get up here big man.
Oh man.
I can hardly hear myself think
they're bringing the house down tonight.
This is unbelievable.
He teleported to me.
Catches the leg.
Clothesline takes him down.
about it it's over mr. Henry I have the high ground right to the kidneys from
behind
what
Oh my god!
That makes a brain jump scare of you!
Look it up! What's next?
Oh my god! A heart landing on the floor!
The fight could get very dangerous out of ringside now.
Look out!
Whoa! Look out!
Like a heat-seeking missile right on target.
And just as destructive.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Didn't catch the angle again.
Headbutt to the back of the neck.
An aggressive charge against Joe now.
Hendry is getting shot down at every turn.
And here we go, returning to the ring.
Erica Rowan.
Climbing to the top.
What's he thinking?
Hey come over here. Hey, you won't.
Caliing himself like a true superstar.
Big Evil M has felt like Danny DeVito.
He's adding even more tension to this match
by adding the table into the mix.
And now he gets back in from the top.
Double Axe Handle connects.
He's getting completely overwhelmed now.
He's got himself in a bit of a stick.
Oh guys, watch this.
Oh, Kitch's built the way out, man.
Kicking out before the count.
Ooh, mountain.
That'll do it! The victory tonight!
Here we go!
A win like this one makes it easy to see why the archetype is trying to set a rune!
The rune!
That was no competition!
That was precision violence carried out on his terms!
What was the plan of the rabbit jump scare?
Okay, we're getting stalked by a bunch of freaks. He was supposed to hit us, but it fucked up
His Rikishi did the same thing to us that one time and he hit us with a chair
But that guy was we like we're inside of him when the cutscene ended so he couldn't hit us
No promises here other than the scheduled match
Johnny Gargana
No.
You're phoning it in all this?
Do you shop for once?
Dude, okay.
Someone explain this guy to me.
El Grande Americano.
Is this...
a white guy...
being a luchador?
It's an Australian dude.
It's Chad Gable.
A racist character.
German pretending to be American pretending to be Mexican.
There's two of them.
Why?
That means the big American.
By the way, if you didn't speak Spanish.
Thank you.
I kind of gathered that.
What if I told you there are four of them now?
Um, prove you're not scared of the Wyance by dominating the competition.
I got a piss, fellas.
Here's a man who continues to show us his skill and his darker side.
Okie dokie.
Willing to go with the full sail.
The most evil man in sports entertainment.
As number this by his callback to Satan.
And of course the truth that says he is indeed evil.
With the Sharon Gan successfully locked away behind that titanium eye badge.
This corpulent beast.
even all of instant transmission
You can see this new attitude right there in his walk no hesitation no pandering no performance
just a cold focused march to the ring it's like he's already decided how this night is going to end
The question is only how does he heal me to death if all this will make it happen?
The Shatter said it's time for the archetype to show us what he's truly become.
Bad evil, bad ugly Venom snake.
I didn't do that. I did not set up those fire techniques. Caleb, and lick my balls,
First up next thing
has leveled up his game ever since joining WWE.
Yeah, did you notice you got Taro too?
He's just standing straighter, Cole.
I think he's been doing more stretches too.
But one of those reasons could account for the appearance
of added height.
Every time America competes, I'm so thankful
On behalf of the entire WWE Universe, let me say,
Gracias!
Please don't include me in that way.
This should have been your gimmick, but Chinese instead.
Gonna make a guy named the Chairman.
Chairman Mao Mao.
And it's El Grotten!
Hey guards, take the ox real quick.
I got a P, dude.
Yes, Milo.
You
Yippee!
Mariachi man, please. A moment.
So no, I do not want to set up a group password in my Discord.
No, I do not want to use the taunter's tongue to 1v1.
I want little billy dark souls who's playing their first Dark Souls game to roll up to this dragon right here
With his buddy, they're like, yeah, we're gonna kill this dragon
And then I want to be the the the second gunman on the fucking grassy knoll that hops down
It's gonna say invaded by John ring
I'm gonna jump from this fucking cliff down into the water the dragon's aggro the dragon spewing fucking fire everywhere
And I'm fucking walking at him dude. I'm walking and they're like who the fuck is that what's happening?
I don't understand what's happening. What's happening? I got my fucking assault rifle. I'm like
The dragon's fucking
BOOM! Fuck it!
Boop down.
Oh, I feel this guy's pain though, he's a fellow druid player, I feel your pain, hahaha.
Oh, hahaha, okay, alright there we go, that's perfect.
Oh
You guys
No, I have not yes you have no I have not what point is it a lie? I
Haven't tasted yes, you have
Oh, do you taste your cum? No liar liar
You ate the punishment pizza and dipped your bald in soy sauce
The best part is there's another human being on the list.
It's just trying to play!
60 year old streamer?
Oh, he came this guy here, look at him.
Oh, this is the guy that we were running by!
I forgot we bought this guy for like 35 minutes!
I
Oh
Finally man.
I'm not gonna die.
was my review well having only played about an hour and a half of the game I
feel perfectly qualified to judge its quality so I will use my platform to
give an opinion about a project that hundreds of people and millions of
dollars were involved in it sucked and I hated it then sounded like pussy-ass
water guns. Sound mixing was really fucking weird.
The Americano here set for competition. El Grande Americano is a competitor with a proud
history in this industry. A trailblazer of a luchador as an in-ring innovator.
Americano has seen and done its all so grande americano claims and if he truly is worthy of all that praise then he'll dazzle us with his
Lucha leave abilities right now, but he's gonna be facing one super
I gotta turn you down bro me earlier that he's looking to showcase some new moves in this match tonight
You guys are allowed dude. He quickly slides into the ring
What am I fighting a Starbucks drink?
We're fighting racism, dude.
Uh-oh.
Oh, right into a counter.
You scared big man?
That's right.
Cower before me.
Take that.
Bang he finds a counter shoving him into the cool man now
Six or a shadow the archetype can outrun
and he's attack gets reversed.
Ooh, what an elbow.
It's the barrage of elbows.
Relentless shots.
It's getting ugly, man.
It's Uncle Howard here, dude.
They have one of those.
It's a slam.
And El Grande only finds himself on the defensive.
El Grande's arsenal is being taken away.
El Grande catches him by surprise.
Whoa.
Had it scattered, now it can capitalize.
Answer after answer for each other's offense here.
Finds the advantage after a string of counters.
Put in the corner now.
You don't want to do this, big man.
Oh, what a stick blow!
Stop it.
Please.
All right, across that top row.
There was no issue with that attack.
Hey, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.
Who are we to judge?
Kick to the knee.
Lamae, straw cradle, perfectly applied.
Straw kick out there.
Looks like they still have got enough energy
for a simple kick out.
Indy counters.
Turns that back on El Grande.
Just firing off on each other.
Hit me.
Bam!
This is more like a ballroom brawl between these two.
Oh, what a high kick!
Oh, great!
Look at this, this can't be good!
Oh, those tumbling on the outside!
This one is headed to be blast off!
God, Lord, taking flight!
Wiping out the competition, but also possibly yourself!
Oh, damaging the arm!
Oh, simply bone-rattling offense.
You know, Grande only finds himself on the defensive.
A man trying to get by so much more.
Oh.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Side headlock applied.
Out.
Oh, with a right hand for good measure.
Hoist it up and air raid crash. Less and less time remaining on the couch.
And he tosses it back in now.
Oh my gosh, what impact!
This has been an astonishing display of skill and pure determination from these superstars.
Hard form right to the jaw.
Wait, what did that first time chatter say?
Place it in the corner.
Ooh, what an elbow.
The barrage of elbows.
Over and over again.
Nothing was being held back with each of those strikes.
serious damage to the army and inflicted here.
Oh, you did great.
Grand uppercut.
Oh, my God.
Each counter leaving these competitors out of stalemate.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
And El Grande only finds himself on the defensive.
El Grande has to trust his instincts at this point.
He's going up the top now.
Oh, you're fucking pussy, dude.
Take him with the ball.
Testing the limits of that leg here.
An effective attack to the leg can hurt everything
from balance to mobility.
It can drastically limit you inside the ring.
Wasted up high here.
Oh, jet space first.
I'm going for it.
Oh, guys, watch this breathtaking athleticism with a 450.
I am stopping the count, and I don't know why he won't just end this already.
I can barely hear myself deep right now.
The noise being made in the Serena is absolutely deafening.
And Elronde only finds himself on the defense.
And what he's looking for here looks like a potential submission
and overcoming Iron Claw submission.
He lets his opponent out of the submission.
Yeah, but who knows what damage has been done.
Oh, solid form.
Do you think it's Mascop?
Maybe.
Place against the Cherbuckles.
Straight into the deadly tree of wall position.
I've got that book just having their face stopped all's fair in love and war gentlemen.
I saw nothing but effective offense.
Not a good spot to be in.
See how she took the floor getting tossed out of the ring like that can do some long
term damage.
I hope they're okay.
Good.
Great.
Grand uppercut.
He manages to stem the tide of attacks down there.
Connell able to momentarily stop the damage, but will he also gain command of this match?
And America was continually on the defensive.
El Grande asked the trust his instincts at this point.
A deafening chair from the WWE Universe is reverberating around us.
Absolutely unreal.
Boot to the stomach, give them separation.
Oh, what a forearm.
Sit straight in a barricade.
He's really pushing the limit here, getting close to a count-out.
No counterme.
And now, thrown back into the ring.
It's ruthlessly mocking his opponent.
Okay, what have we done now?
Call full force with the uppercuts.
And he's got cartoon birds swirling over his head right now for sure.
All these attacks to the head, he's going to end up with a lot more of a splitting headache
if this match goes on for much longer.
Managing to evade a precarious position there.
We got a memorable moment.
Great great grand uppercut
Wait, I think this will build up
Here we go
Jack Knight power bomb that power bomb was absolutely worthy of both halves of its name
What a match this has been
Glad to be witnessing such an extraordinary match tonight watch out
There we go.
A piercing aerial elbow drop.
And El Grande only finds himself on the defensive.
I've got two words for you.
I have a bomb strapped to my chest.
Hooked up.
Here we go.
Ow.
Fighting out of it.
He finally found a way to bring things to a halt here.
El Grande trying to bring the fight back in this one.
The tagline.
Double axe handle.
That move.
Looks to climb the top rope.
Incoming!
All the way to the outside.
However much you think that hurt, I promise you, it was way worse.
Flying ringside with pinpoint accuracy.
And Americano needed that one badly.
But he needs to act fast if he really wants to change things in his favor.
And he gets set back into the ring.
watch out beautiful diving Albo
cover we have a cover
two he put him away he picks up the win
here's your winner
a win like this one makes it easy to see why
it's like this trying to set a new darker standard for itself and this
roster
That was not competition, that was precision violence carried out on his terms!
Truly one of the greatest of all time, dude.
Hey, thank you for telling us what to do.
With the rail rumble around the corner will Moon Moon's quest for the WWE championship
be derailed.
But we're gonna do the rail rumble.
Hmmmm.
I gotta turn down these announcers bro.
Holy guacamole there.
Well Emily, thanks for subbing dude. Where's that fucking first time chatter guards pull up him follows
They still in chat
You leave him alone?
But we're in our heal arc right now, dude.
and 80 ethics for son he left he didn't leave he's still here
you'll defend him all right handicap match me and you verse for me versus you in that chatter
what are these saying this guy's been following for four years and his first message was
You have to be botting.
Surely he's talking about the gameplay.
Well, I mean, oh no, you guys bots.
Do you need something truth?
Dude, say the line.
Violet thinks we're subbing? Oberle.
Ooh.
Oh, shit, dude, do I look like a ghost?
Is this why it's usually not worth arguing with people online, which I'm like, this is like actually the
I don't know. I've never seen one.
That's why I had to ask.
But you're getting messed with by the white six.
So I don't know what kind of supernatural stuff you've got going on.
Also follows you, though.
Yeah, we lost him to the man of Spirity.
We did the Wyatt six have not turned me into a ghost
That's good
Being a ghost would be hard
You wouldn't be able to pick up your sandwiches. That's probably why ghosts never have picnics
What were we talking about again?
Actually like this guy I think the Wyatt six
Why would you bring them up now? I'm going to have nightmares
One time I sat in the chair that Uncle Haudy was eyeing and that night a strange man was standing in my bathroom
It was just my reflection in the mirror, but still I learned my lesson
You don't mess with the wires. Well, they messed with me and they have no idea who they're dealing with
No, dawg
They know exactly who they're dealing with
You think this is just mind games?
They're trying to balance something.
After everything you did to me and Roshiki and Jamie Uso,
you
I
Back into the ring
Fine
It's out of the ring what's gonna happen now
Into the barricade
And he heads back into the ring what's the logic here
Am I can I just fight him in the ring? I guess so maybe I will do that but first
Kobe Bryant looks like he's got something in mind for ringside here
and he's able to avoid that offense.
Oh my god!
Shelly is now under heavy pressure.
Gacy is having trouble getting his bearings.
Dude, they're not serial killers. This guy's a poser.
Seems Joe Mason.
Send him to the corner.
Oh, scouted that one.
And he found an opening to fire back.
Now's a chance for Gacy to get back into this match.
Oh, he cuts it off.
Um, oop, throwing it back.
Smash!
Look at this!
Grinding their opponent by the skull and slamming him down.
Bam! What a slam!
Steve kick and he's really being relentless right now.
Sleeps over you like a gozel.
This is barbaric.
Oh, they crushed inside.
Good, great, grand uppercut.
The very back gozel.
At least back suplex.
take that calm disrespectful I'll call him boy in your face and on a free free
of law this man
smartly dipping out of harm's way rip that mask off I want to see his face
pulling the nostrils and eyes of their opponent Joe is now under heavy pressure
now we will have to see just how tough Joe Gacy truly can be
Gacy able to get out of the way
The springboard attack fails to land
Put it right on the corner. So he's coming
Can we slam him on the chair the ladder?
I mean the stairs
Nice power bomb bad spot for Gacy. We got there
Gacy taking it by surprise.
Gacy's pushing back now.
Joe could be turning his fortunes around.
Impressive awareness from him.
Oh my god.
What was that?
Tyraman.
Impressive vertical suplex.
Staggering through his feet.
He barely even knows where he is right now.
Wait, we get to the switch.
stop Casey right to the kidneys from behind this whole match has been all
gas and no brakes for this one takes so fucking long I don't know how to do the
Here we go.
BAM!
And now...
Fins it off!
Good carry!
Ripped in the hard way!
Yeah, man. This might be the matchup for you.
Year? This might be the whole deck game!
Rodney Powerslam!
You heard the fun on the steps.
I guarantee that was the sound of Bowling's shattering.
Seein' me, son, reversals.
He gets set straight down to the floor, and he's going to the top.
Double buddy.
Lion! You gotta be kidding me!
What a crushing impact on the outside.
Kids, do not try that at home.
And that was a rock landing from that toss.
Casey has lost any sense of command in this one.
Joe Casey keeps getting cut down.
Gliding the opponent by the skull and slamming him down.
Get back in there, bitch.
He throws the opposition back into the ring.
They're trying to burn this thing?
He may be rushed, but at least he's owning it.
They're trying to knock him out.
I don't think I need two specials for it.
Okay, just take five years to do it, bro. It's whatever.
Oh, he tied that counter well.
All right, wait right there, big man.
What?
And what's he looking for here?
He's got one thing on his mind with that chair, and it has nothing to do with lounging.
Shell is now under heavy pressure.
Gates is having trouble giving his bearings.
Those who are powerless are to die from behind in the inverted DDT.
From the ring all the way to the floor.
I think the net.
Hooked up. Here we go.
Oh my God.
Oh, that's got to do it. There's no bouncing back from that.
Oh, driving those steps down as hard as possible.
I can see up to the left, there's not a single person sitting down.
What an environment this is. All eyes are glued on his battle.
Massive miscalculation on that one.
Falls into the corner and needs to stay on the defensive.
Very unique take down from behind.
Smoothing smoothly, rings of Saturnal...
needs to escape the dust, gets free from that painful hold.
I need you to do it.
Geesey taken him by surprise.
Showing some extra scouting, knowing how to answer a counter with a counter of your own.
Here we go again. He made his point.
Concentrate on the match instead of everything outside of it.
We got him on the fair, I think.
We actually don't want him to counter us because it takes him on the danger.
Let's toss Jack.
Gacy has lost any sense of command in this one.
Joe Gacy keeps getting caught down
right to the kidneys from behind.
It's over.
He's got the back of the neck.
This'll teach you to haunt me,
you freaky chainsaw massacre man.
This will do it if it connects.
Here we go.
And you can put the singles back in the box.
That was not a match.
The archetype just told the Wyatt Six that the Hunters have become the Hunts.
But what's he gonna do if he catches them?
Mooner-Roney?
I think he's gonna do the Mooner-Roney, dude.
Weeeeeewww!
Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum!
No music.
I
Fuck you Stan
I'd say we can call you the Wyatt 5 now, but I lost count of all you weirdos years ago
However, many of you are left Joe Gacy
Is it one of that if he wasn't knocked out cold right now?
He'd tell you that I'm not afraid of your smoke or your mirrors or your dumb Halloween masks
You freaks are just rungs on my ladder back to the top.
I don't know if you picked my name out of your stupid hat, Hallie, but that was the biggest
mistake you've ever made.
Next week, SmackDown, you and me.
Let's finish this.
I am not running from you.
You should be running from me.
That's a spoiler now say that's a
Song was that
We're in ourselves.
When you got hurt, all the invincibility was stripped away and in an instant, you are
nothing but a sickly child.
You're still in there, isn't it?
You can see them.
I'm not one of your pet psychers.
You can't get in my head.
You don't see it, do you?
You're already there, playing with all the broken pieces.
I have a surprise for you the gun the only thing breaking tonight
Did you see his dwarf friend nod like that she's still like four nods randomly dude oh
Oh, he's a...dead.
Am I supposed to be scared of those guys?
What's so scary about them?
They kill people?
There he is.
We gotta get ready about the arcade time.
We gotta change the music bag.
You're the ass, Bill!
I bet they can get this for 7.
The fuck are you just saying, man?
You're the ass, Bill!
We gotta change our intro music.
It's freaked up.
If you could not believe your oise, with a thousand four-year-floys.
I just fell over this arena. Uncle Howdy is here.
I mean, Uncle Hardy, it's a good game to play, it's good.
But he's in there with a future first battle to follow up later.
It's not big.
The archetype's day of reckoning has arrived.
This guy's got a Doctor Doom mask.
Foot dive!
He didn't missles!
Yeah I'm thinking I could look considerably more evil than this guy if I'm being honest.
But I'm not sure how he's actually standing across the ring from him.
Loggantite looks like the dog called in the car.
Man has no idea what to do with it.
Do not underestimate the archetype.
If uncle Heidi does, all the smoke and mirrors in the world won't save him from looking
up at the lights when this match is over.
Big forearm.
Great display of confidence, but he doesn't want to give his opponent added motivation.
I
Sure did
These two reaching a standstill with all these reverses truth these superstars have done their homework
Sequence of reverses here both
Game tape
solid punch when the Arkansas turned his back on the WWE Universe and embraced
the darkness he found the...
Oh!
He looked at her again.
Oh.
He should have been paying more attention!
Across the top rope!
Wards that off!
What a response!
Great to cross the top rope!
The clubbing forearm!
Jesus.
Carrying the opposition. What's the thought here?
The fight could get very dangerous at it with the greatest of ease.
That had to have hurt just as much as it hurt your opponent.
No one comes out unscathed with a high-risk move like that.
Back shots.
Look to the kidneys from behind.
Reversal!
And it turns things around.
Oh no.
Jesus.
Clashing into the barricade with such force.
How does the attack get reversed?
Oh, colliding with the barricade.
Now what?
Big punch connected.
What a punch!
He's in a bit of agony now.
Yeah, but we all knew this was going to be a physical affair.
It's like he says someone is not on his level.
Didn't hit her on the side.
Back into the ring.
Ah, clawed in the face.
He would have got a deep view.
Oh, I mean, at the eyes.
That was showing great awareness of positioning,
placing yourself between the ref and your opponent.
Well, it's all over, buddy.
Now I'm mad.
I can break the count by going in and out of the ring.
I'm like I knew that.
this match. Oof! At one point. Oof! What an elbow! The barrage of elbows! Ah, repeated elbows in a corner!
And when on the outside of strikes like that, it's clear they have nothing but punishment on their mind.
Effective! Ouch! I'm so sorry, big man.
I can't imagine the pain being felt right now.
It's a mess.
back into the right
can I hit the lady rub yes I can chatter I'm not going to look
haha
the chatter was going to punch the rest of them
battle of counters no one's getting their full offensive
he counters with a great reversal
boom
howdy with the counter
Well, unlucky big man.
Big, big back by a drop! One elevation! Now Uncle Houdie is getting beaten down.
Houdie's resiliency being tested here.
What's up? Here we go.
Jack Knight Powerball.
What's going on here?
Um, Garry?
Where is Uncle Howdy?
And who is that freak referee?
It's like the archetype is looking into a carnival mirror of himself.
That's Hector Forrest!
Oh shit!
Look out!
Sister Abigail!
Not again!
Gaffney's back, what is happening?
Uncle Howdy with the most bizarre victory ever seen!
Eww, was that a official?
I don't think their face is the last thing I've ever seen in this form of ally.
And Uncle Howdy's new is full of iron ore.
Holy shit, we got betrayed.
Hector deserved all the blame, he really did.
What?
fall over you want to get done
dude
the master eyebrows move how
this is what happens we make bad decisions we can still turn this around stop trying to make me
me. Dude, this guy's victim blaming me. They freaking ambush me, dude. That's uncouth.
It's not my fault. This is on you. You're the one letting the Wyatt Six do whatever they
want on your show. I want to know what you're gonna do about this.
I made the match you wanted and you lost. What else would you have me do?
Finally pull the trigger on trading me to raw.
Other than that, if you want an excuse to run away from Hector and the Wyatt's
for a shot at Bronbreaker.
You can try qualifying for the Rumble, like everyone else.
Oh, God.
How am I supposed to qualify for the Rumble
when I can't get through a match
without the carnival coming to town?
That sounds like a you problem.
And as the GM of SmackDown,
I have a long enough list of me problems already.
Okay, try this on.
The hell with you.
The hell with the Rumble
and the hell with the Wyatt Six.
I'm going back to my wrestling school if they want to take a shot at me. Let's see how they do without all the WWE special effects
It was a school. I thought it was just like a gym. Well, that just solved one of my me problems best of luck
It's literally just like a silent gym
You don't want to talk to this fucking clip man
What are you doing here, Heyman?
Hmm, so aggressive. You know why I'm here? Business. WWE Championship Business. The kind
of business you used to be in. A long, long time ago.
That's the only business I'm in.
It looks to me like you're playing an entirely different game. Something with ghosts and
ghouls and goblins! Are you really going to take a walk right before the royal rumble?
Don't you worry, Bronn will get his sooner or later. The Wyatt's and Hector are just
a speed bump. A speed bump? Or an exit ramp? Because I just heard the archetype is tucking
his tail between his legs and running away from his problems.
Deja vu all over again.
I'm not running away from anything.
This is just a strategic withdrawal.
I was wrong about you all those years ago.
You never had it in you to be a Paul Heyman guy.
You don't have the balls tell me that after the next time I face brawn
It's hard to take him seriously we got that big-ass cum-stain
We're training dude
It's Hector dude. Where's my high badge?
Hector?
Holy fuck!
I helped you when you were nobody when you were nothing I gave you a hand up
and this is how you repay me after brown buried you I taught you to embrace the
underground we struck down mortals and legends with your wicked spade you cast
me aside like a broken tool so you got sad and ran away to join a cult you're
You're weak. That's why I don't you.
Oh my gosh, he's such an asshole.
Oh, stupid.
Did you really think you could come into my house and threaten me?
Your house.
This is not your house.
Guys?
What?
Holy fuck, we're in the bayou!
It works!
Oh no.
I gotta turn the game down
Dude, we're like literally settling our beep right now
but we're wrestling with each other
This guy's got a roleplay like he's sane.
Oh yeah.
It's like the characters from Yu-Gi-Oh
settling there probably by playing like a card game.
Is this Metal Gear Revenge 2?
I
Like
I am the I am alone I alone am the evil one
I'm gonna need you to help me out.
I'm going to need you to move around a little bit.
God is ass.
So evil that they're using a ramp.
Yeah.
It's only fair.
They're evil, not unfair.
I admitted we formed a little too often.
No!
Oh, what the hell?
What are you doing there?
I
Music so long I can't even hear the sound
Oh fuck
Oh my god.
I'll go back and fuck you.
Idiot.
I'm too weak to hold them up because I'm winded.
It's over Hector.
You were always second place.
You were always the dog shit on my sheen.
How are we here?
Get back in the ring, I gotta pay me.
So how does this end, do we kill him?
It's over.
One more, and it's over, Hector.
It seems like you wanted this more than I did.
BOOM!
Turns game back up.
Adam? How did you get here?
Through the door? What is with you?
did you see any of that all i see is a guy standing by himself in a wrestling school without any
students what happened to you these are gaslighting man the riots and hector they're coming after me
and they stop just stop this is about the white six it's not about hector this is about you
You went after Jay's dad, man, with a freaking shovel.
That's not you.
It was the match with Bronn.
That match?
That humiliation?
I can't get it out of my head.
It eats, and it eats, and it eats me alive.
All I see when I close my eyes is Heyman and Bronn looking down at me.
So I went down into the dark.
Looks like Uncle Heidi said, now it's too late to get out.
It's not.
It never is.
But you have to make the choice right here and right now.
A choice about the legacy you want to leave in this business and in this world.
And this could be the last chance.
You have to decide what kind of person you are.
We can save Hector, dude.
I'm not doing that.
I fuckin' hate Hector dude.
I know exactly who I am.
Oof!
Ah!
And we...
That's right!
Go back to WWE!
Tell Haman, tell Braw, you tell him all!
I'm coming for him!
Are you supposed to take a guy with a wig like this seriously, man?
Remain a rule breaker throughout the an entire MyReyes playthrough.
Well, we're a bad guy, man.
What can I say?
Before you say a word, I have a limited amount of time and an even more limited amount of patience for you.
If it were up to me, you'd already be suspended.
Well, it looks like you've been overruled because I'm still here taking up your precious time
Yes time. I should be using to welcome the man who actually won the Royal Rumble Cody Rhodes
you
The part of this DLSS5 show
The undeniable cappisma of the Magistar on full display right!
It's not gonna stand up in the background, oh he's in a lane and a terrible holy fuck.
This version of the archetype does not wrestle with guilt. He wrestles to win
Makes him dangerous
Without losing who you are that line he crossed with Pierce might be the one he can't come back
For this man, you're a ruthless legacy, but it might tell us how far he's willing to fall
We're gonna kill this guy
Right to the kidneys from behind
Oh my lord!
Look at his face.
Oh fuck.
Here we go.
Oh! With authority!
Oh, amazing, a break wall left.
So much for being his game, Knight perhaps leading too much on his charisma,
and not enough on what he's doing in the ring.
nothing new for here he's face works get it to qualify
just go to show you a new boss here tonight well I know just the way to do
this
He saw that coming.
Great in-ring IQ on display there.
Holy!
Meet the Barricade.
Get this back into the ring now.
Oh, gosh, a wrecking kind of crossfire.
The former archetype was looking to make a statement,
but we're not sure what kind of statement he's looking to make.
Well, good if it's a song that happens before the big news.
She saw that happen? I mean she saw the stairs fly!
I can no longer be on board with this comeback feels like hearing your favorite song go out
of tune archetype over the line hashtag disappointed hashtag this is how people talk dude fuck
Thank you, I don't need you, bitch.
And now you're mine to deal with
Don't be an idiot
You know what I bring to this business to your show you don't punish that
You build around it. You're right. This is my show and on my show
The ones you get opportunities are the ones who earn it like Cody writes
Not the ones who throw tantrums when the spotlight shifts. All right time to whip out the bomb. I think
Dude, God, what do you want, man?
Time to detonate the bomb.
Time to play the game!
Wait, what? What intro are we using?
It's all about the game!
And I am playing it all about the world!
Everything can take it!
All about this game!
I
Yeah, that is that is
Nice. That's it. That's it.
Hopefully it stays. I don't really know why it wasn't before.
the hell was that DQ out there you tangent don't be here you shut the fuck up here
we go with this guy again man Jesus Craig well well the great comeback
continues I'll admit I thought maybe you finally found that missing gear that
killer instinct that turns contenders into champions.
Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you.
Call him fat.
Thought you finally learned not to underestimate me.
I don't underestimate you. I understand you.
You run hot. You talk big. You make noise.
But when it matters most, you crumble.
Like a forgotten statue years past its relevancy.
That's why you're watching your shot vanish into thin air, while Cody Rhodes has the chance
to write his own ending at WrestleMania.
We have to kill him.
You almost sound like you're rooting for him.
Oh, Cody Rhodes is going to lose at WrestleMania to my client, Braun Breaker.
But he'll do it under the lights in the main event, with the world chanting his name
singing his song and you you will be back here still trying to figure out how the
story moved on without you I don't need a spotlight to shine Paul I'm the damn
fire and this fire will keep burning until I get my shot against Braun sure
face it while you act out and spiral the window on your comeback is slamming shut late means last
archetype and in this business last means left behind hey have fun watching brawn and Cody at
WrestleMania
Holy moly
I think Paul even plays the best delivery. I mean honestly the main characters delivery hasn't been that bad. It's cheesy
I am the game and I am and I am the game
what happens
and now the jam of smackdown nick aldis with what we suspect will be an
announcement
about wrestlemania
ladies and gentlemen
i'd like to welcome the winner of the royal rumble
and the man who will main event wrestlemania
the american nightmare
Cody Rose.
Why is it?
There you go, Cody Rose on SmackDown for the first time since Punchy is taking two rounds on media.
Oh, wait, I don't like the looks.
Well, I don't know, who you call it?
It doesn't look like we've got a Royal Rumble winner after all.
That complicates WrestleMania, doesn't it?
That's enough! You are going to face superior consequences!
What? What's that Cody?
I should be the next challenger for Bron Breaker?
You want me to take your spot?
Cody's got some fight left in him!
I'm afraid you mean hat.
We need medical attention back there immediately that crossed a major line.
Something tells me the archetype isn't finished crossing lines.
Our thoughts are with Cody Rhodes.
Let's kill this guy too.
We'll just kill everyone here.
I got a suit.
We stole his clothes.
I don't even know where to start.
We kicked you in the balls.
It wasn't enough to attack me.
Someone who stood by you.
Someone who came to you as a friend.
And now Cody?
I once thought you were walking a hard road back.
But you're just burning the whole trail behind you.
Hey, at least I'm not forgettable.
Not everyone is content to put on a suit,
coast into a relevance, and claim it's a legacy.
We're kind of cooking this guy.
You really think you're better this way, don't you?
You're not evolving, you're eroding,
and you're too far gone to notice the difference.
Whatever version of me gets brawn breaker at WrestleMania.
Check your phone, idiot.
It will be me.
No, I'm not letting that happen. I clawed my way back bled for this place
And now I get to watch from the sidelines. Well, they hand out my WrestleMania spot like a party favor
Not happening. How are you gonna manage that? You're not even allowed in the building
Go home and take a hard look in the mirror
Hmm
who the fuck are you oh hey I don't think we're supposed to be talking since
you're suspended nice boys hanging out in public where it's safe relax Troy I'm
not going to kick your ass in an airport unless you give me a reason to
That is wonderfully reassuring. I need a WWE producer. I can trust to keep his mouth shut
You're going to help me
Fantastic, I love helping
People always say if you need anything asked Troy, he can make it happen
I have a bomb strapped to my chest. I
Just need to know the whereabouts of Kevin Owens Seth Rollins and Randy Orton at all times
When they're coming when they're going
when, when they're vulnerable.
Oh, just that, huh?
Yeah.
I think that's a very interesting request
and I will consider it.
And I'm reconsidering my stance on airport beatings.
Ha, ha, consider it done.
That's what I was gonna say.
I suppose you wanna get started on this
as soon as possible.
Let's start with Kevin Owens.
I know I'm going to regret this.
Okay
Kevin Owens is looking totally locked in for his match later tonight
And what is now a warm-up for the triple threat where I recognize this parking lot
Now, okay, oh that man's not even supposed to be here
This is spent as super star has found his way backstage to target one of one breakers potential WrestleMania opponents
He might not be on the card, but he is clearly still very much in the picture and still very much a problem for everyone at the WWE.
Starting with Kevin Owens.
No one expected a suspended superstar to show up, especially not Kevin Owens.
Surprise. I'm here now. Catch.
Boom. Red means stop and so does that. Exposed concrete is just the first half you see in
this area. There are about 100 ways this could be ending in disaster. He's on top of the
ambulance now. What comes next? First time. Serves him right for running his mouth. Not
much room for error on top of an ambulance.
Cut off with a chop block.
Good reflexes from him there.
Able to avoid that one.
No!
And he's headed down the ladder,
clearly realizing the higher ground
is not all it's cracked up to be.
Pow!
Rock with that forearm there.
Nothing good can happen fighting in the parking lot.
Yeah, but I don't think they had anything good in mind to start with
Tell me more about what I had in mind. I was gonna detonate the bomb stretch
Right to the kidneys from behind just how many superstars have we seen suffer serious injury out in a parking lot
Lemurus countless this is not some way you want to be if safety is any kind of
concern
Oh and Owens is vulnerable. Chokeslam sends them crashing. Gently throws you on the
ground. He's climbing up that ladder only going to escalate the situation.
Oh no, blocked it!
Did he say hey?
He's gonna provide a huge turnaround!
Boop!
Kill it!
Right on target!
Surrounded by pavement, cars, and who knows what else!
This match is officially out in the wild!
Swips out the back door in a chop block!
How about we break some windows, big man?
Over here.
here this guy is I'm gonna kill you again he made his point concentrate on the
match instead of everything outside of it
oh gotta go nice jeans bro hope he has a flying climb in that lot of a big amount
of salt being added to the wound by K.O.
Ah, will he get on with it already?
This is a fight!
He's reached the peak of his climb, no idea what he's planning now.
Just a step ahead of Owens.
Okay.
Okay. He's able to counter that.
Let's go for a ride, big man. This is the situation you want to follow from this
time because you gotta be kidding me! There's no way anybody could survive that!
Whoo! Speedsless, can we get some medical personnel out here right now?
Wait, I have an idea.
I have an idea.
I think we can uppercut him into it, fellas.
Dragging him into the elevator and heading to the top floor.
Hey!
Whoa!
Blow, fully connected there!
This is totally uncalled for.
of these superstars thinking they aren't thinking Cole wait Kevin Owens
I just got able to steer clear of danger there
a first disaster with an elbow in the midsection turns the tables with an elbow to the gait
one counter met by another not good fellas hold back into the hip toss essentially
oh god stopping all that nonsense right now
Oh, wow.
Get in here, kick!
Dude, it doesn't matter, bro.
What's happening to that terrain right now?
Oh.
It is...it is reforged.
It is once again a barrier.
Oh, what a clubbing blow.
Uh-oh.
Owens gets control.
Where are you going?
This fight ends up here, buddy.
Looks like his courage might have disappeared once he reached the top.
Got a lover man who lets his opponent know exactly who's in charge here.
Oh wait.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Close line.
So effective.
Real little space here as these two just keep going at it.
One wrong step could lead to disaster.
But neither superstars can start that right.
Oh wait a minute.
I don't like heights.
They look like we're going for the run.
Oh.
That's not what I thought was going to happen.
is how a real superstar conducts himself.
That said, it kind of sets up what I want to do.
I really do look like Dan DeVito, huh, from the back.
We all know he thinks he's the best.
Quit messing around.
Oh.
This is a dangerous area.
Should be battling it out.
You really have to be aware of fighting in this environment while you're moving.
You'll be dust on the pavement.
Oh.
Elbow to the stomach.
Trying to get that separation.
Oh.
shit
It's not what I wanted to do get up you're going back over there Phil nope I'm going back over there
Oh
for the suplex. Oh, got him up first time. Oh, wait a minute. Drop behind into a chop
bug. Is that fucking danger anymore with the club? He hit guys. We're worlds away from
a traditional wrestling contest now coming for. Uh oh.
There's another elbow right into the face.
One reversal after another.
These two are reading each other's minds.
What's going to do it?
Boom!
Dangerous territory.
Not a lot of runway for these two right now.
Measuring up one at a time.
I don't see them get.
Instantly cut.
Fucking stupid ass barrier man, I was gonna uppercut him into the fucking light, man, I was gonna be sick.
There you are.
Please, no. I didn't know you were asking me to be a part of a crime spree.
When I saw KO on that stretcher, my life and career flashed before my eyes.
Calm down Troy, Kevin Owens is going to be fine.
Eventually.
Maybe. Who knows?
But you're already in this now.
No, no, I just pointed you in a direction under duress
Let's not forget the under duress part. I was very under a lot of duress
Who is this guy?
You're already on the ride. You think if anyone finds out you help me they'll believe you were innocent
Yes, if that's what people know me for it's my integrity and
Okay, yeah, you're right. What else do you need me to do?
Good boy. I need you to tell me where I might find Seth Rollins.
You might find him in any number of places.
Spending time with Becky and the kid at the dentist, or maybe at NXT next weekend.
You're turning into a regular right-hand man, Troy.
I really wish you wouldn't do this.
Does it anyway?
Fuck you.
That's the director of the FBI
What's up?
I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
Seth Warren's being a pedacry homeless man in the parking lot.
ability turning the parking lot into a battle ground Rollins that is the
homecoming is turned into a nightmare thanks to the suspended archetype quick
maneuvering
Oh, so kick!
He finds a way to elude that attack!
Uh-oh!
Goddard.
Man, what timing on that counter?
Long story!
Dude, fuck off, man.
Dude, go away!
Oh, what a high kick!
He's waved at me.
He wants it one more time.
Jokeslam!
Alright they need to redo that line I think.
What a counter by Rollins.
Oh what a definite Jokeslam!
Aw what a slam!
I'm not even trying to.
Look at this crashing down!
Turns it around!
Able to power that one!
Oh, that didn't go as set designed.
Alright, these backshots gonna count.
Oh, what?
Right to the kidneys from behind!
Oh, dude!
Answering your lights out.
Oh, man!
Uh, four?
No!
Uh, five?
And his body seems to be the focus of the attack
Oh one step ahead there each competitor showing they've done their homework
But wait look at this determination to get out of this to create separation
And then?
He's looking for yet another exclamation mark!
Boom.
And now it looks...
Do the Belden never work.
You go and...
Kevin Owens is the victim of a backstage attack now wrestling a contender triple that's South
Rollins has been digging out a separate result.
Dude, it's fucked up.
So you might be thinking, obviously wrestling is scripted, right?
Obviously.
Right now.
But like, our character has not broken character even behind stage, which means
he is being gaslit by literally every single person in the WWE into believing what is happening
is like including the tweets, like the conversations he's having with the general managers, like
his partner, no one has indicated that they are not that like that they're putting on
a show dude. So our character is like systematically attacking these guys, but he's getting
Truman showed right now like he's being manipulated into doing this exact thing
without realizing it. He's having a mental break either.
You really don't know how to stay gone, do you? Who the fuck are you? People just don't know how
to stay out of my way. Seth Rollins was supposed to be a special guest referee here tonight
to determine the championship match at Santa Deliver. That's the Rocks daughter?
She ain't got the electricity, dude.
And now Seth can't stand or deliver.
When you thought you were too good for NXT a few months ago,
that was the best thing to ever happen to me.
The pebble.
But at least now the whole world knows the truth,
that the archetype's legacy isn't redemption, it's wreckage.
Careful.
Careful, Ava.
You're one crossed line from being part of the wreckage, too.
You made your mess on SmackDown.
Don't drag it down here.
I don't want to see you near my show ever again.
Relax the last man standing between me and Bronn breaker doesn't go here
Yep, just at the scene of the crime where I killed that
Hang it out, you better check the Twitter dude
dude, it actually is so fucked up
it's so fucked up if you look at this through the lens of like someone who does not actually know it's not here
I'm gonna kill you
to find out, Booker.
By the boat, trying to control his opponent like a puppet on a string.
Weird stuff.
Counter from Morton.
Another reversal, eye for an eye here.
Each athlete finding an answer for everything thrown at them.
Several reversals, neither Superstore able to penetrate their opponent's defenses.
right on the arm. Now that'll do some serious damage.
You're going through the light, my man.
Oh, that might have just broken something.
You're going through the light, my man.
Our character's actually like schizophrenic, dude.
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Headbutt to the back of the neck.
Oh, it's coming!
Don't slam!
What the hell scouted?
Steep elbow break that up
Looks like he's saying someone is not on his level
Okay, he should really focus on the match now we get the point
Neurino runs to the cone
Yep
Yeah, I've never seen a bottle flip before how about a safety sure what he is playing now
That's sick or what's made it up to service ladder
He's a part of no there's no match for him
Okay, he should really focus on the match now we get the point
Got you bitch
Brought down by the throat such a dangerous place to be fighting. Oh, yeah, man
I can't see this ending will
Stop cheering for him. I'm the main character
Kidneys from behind the level of animosity these superstars feel for each other. It's no wonder. It's devolved into this
Completely cladded by rage. They've taken this joke
What the hell did we just see?
Stop this now! Somebody has to put an end to this!
Get security! Get the National Guard for quite sake!
Randy looking to embarrass his opponent.
He's at the top! Where does he go from here?
And now he's taking the time to show a complete lack of sportsmanship.
This could backfire for him.
Now finds himself in quite the precarious position up there.
Shaw breaking up to the attack.
Holding nothing but without forearm.
What false move here would be disastrous.
But Crammy, all caution has been thrown to the wind.
Boom!
Good defense from him.
Yeah.
Got a little man who lets his opponent know exactly who's in charge here.
It all can just counter there.
Oh,
had it scattered and met with a back elbow.
get out of that with an album to the guts high risk situation and really no
reward only possible reward is broken bones it's the bad deal being up there
getting carried to a vulnerable position here no no no it don't do it
that's it no don't do it there's gotta be more than a few bones after that
He'd be lucky to only have broken bones.
Good, great, grand uppercut.
Oh, got that fist straight to the head.
What's up?
What the?
Oh my gosh.
I hope this thing stays clear from this loading dock soon.
Yeah, there's about a million ways this could go bent.
I'm gonna kill you now, forever.
He sold out one coming, er, McGuys?
Right to the kidneys from behind.
And his core might be a bigger target now.
Oh, my lord!
No!
Oh
No, what up not a good spot to be in
All right finish him with the out
Oh
We just got to please help now that'll weaken your arm
Kill him oh word
Actually, I gotta throw you, sorry, oh, I got a reverse, oh, I didn't, yep, never
You got the ambulance to work?
Yeah.
Great thinking right there.
You have to himself wide open.
Big mistake.
Oh yeah.
It was very hard.
Grabbing your opponent by the skull and slamming him down.
Oh to the arm.
Terrible.
Is there on line this thing?
Yeah.
Uh oh.
He reversed me by the way.
Oh
Everything you can do to create space here
What are you shooting at? Oh god
The target's been acquired once more
I think that taunts longer than the push-ups one by the way.
the flip boys. Is that sick or what. Oh what a knee left. Like have you got to the ring?
Meow meow meow. No we can't. Hello well.
Oh
Okay, buddy
You think I'm intimidated by your dumb ass move
Come on big man, we're going over here. Okay, buddy
All right, hold on a second, okay?
Don't move.
All right, very good.
No doubt he has dangerous painful intentions in mind here
Counter right what it was dated
Great job we focusing to reverse that
Oh stopping that offense with a swift elbow
Right to the kidneys from behind
Target acquired
him. What is happening? Where is his stud? It doesn't exist. He reversed.
counter into a head-rocking bulldog
The danger so you just came over the finishers power slam he likes to fucking reverse it
That's why I was trying to study in this position
Not as ass though
He's looking for yet another exclamation mark.
I don't see them.
They're so lame, dude.
Oh.
This man is inspected.
The son of a housemaid allows a speech here.
I'm Saturday night's mayor, Matt.
If you bought a ticket to see a triple threat match here
tonight, I'm sorry to tell you that the card is
subject to change.
Kevin Owens, Seth Rollins, and Randy Orton were standing between me and my destiny.
The main event at WrestleMania.
Nick Aldis tried to keep me out of this ring, but he doesn't control me.
Let him know.
And now that everyone is out of my way, I'm going after Braun Breaker.
Ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Paul Amon and I serve the special council to the most explosive,
athletically gifted force of this generation.
The reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Champion,
The Ron Braker.
But tonight, I'm here because of you.
Because of you
You take out the competition stand here and call it destiny
This isn't destiny. This is desperation
Your best pathetic play
Because you know the only way you could ever be worthy of standing across from my client
is if you were the last man left.
I just have one question.
Does he know?
Does he know what?
Does your precious, coddled, oh so special WWE Champion know
how hard you've been trying to keep me away from him?
What are you talking about?
I
When I first came back to SmackDown I was unstoppable and then here comes Jey Uso
Then Jimmy
Two brothers coming together to come at me
That's the kind of thing that only occurs when someone whispers just loud enough to make real noise
Someone delusions reaching its feet
and wise me. Funny how Hector ended up with the Wyatt 6 after I left him behind. They didn't
target him at random. Someone pointed them in the direction of the lost soul. Someone
who knew exactly what kind of chaos that would unleash. Someone who wanted me trapped in
that nightmare while the royal rubble came and went. Someone like you.
Don't admit it.
It is quite the conspiracy theory you laid out.
We're insane.
There's only one problem. It's all completely true.
Oh, shit!
Every twist, every loss, every betrayal, every blindside,
Every roadblock that was Paul Heyman.
Finding yourself stuck twilling away on SmackDown,
far from the WWE Champion.
That was Paul Heyman.
You turned your back on me, so I turned you into my tool.
You took out KO, Rollins, Orton, and now my client,
Ron Breaker gets a WrestleMania opponent handpicked by me.
The WWE Champion has heard enough.
Ron Breaker is here to get some answers from Paul Hayman.
What?
Ron, there's no need for you to involve yourself.
Is Ron here and true?
He's gonna talk.
Yes, but he was strategic.
It was all part of life.
You manipulated, you made this all about you.
Ron, let's go cast this out over the stakes.
No, I don't care about your personal vendettas and
I don't care about WWE Suspensions.
I'm gonna do what you couldn't and shut this man up by feeding him again.
This time at WrestleMania.
Ron Brayford has made the call himself.
We are the WrestleMania, man of ads.
The man we once called, they organized just a shot, he's been waiting a year for!
Will this be the ultimate finish to his comeback story?
Oh, waiting for a clap for his face and a gag!
We'll have to wait long to find out!
This never ends!
Hmm
So it was all a conspiracy
He's not insane dude
Wow
So Haman actually let you off the leash this coming from the guy he said dancing on a string all year
There yeah
Well as much as he didn't want this he led me straight to you
You've taken a long walk just to get the same result
But after burning all those bridges all this Pierce
Hector, I guess I can't blame you for being jealous that I've still got someone in my corner
And what did all this get you?
Another shot at the guy who already sent you packing
semi-packing you left me breathing that was your mistake yeah so you could
whine all year about how I broke you that's the difference between me and you
I win and move on you lose and make it a lifestyle better than coasting off
your daddy's name and Heyman's brain you've been playing what champ while he
holds the map is this guy related to another wrestler
Scott Steiner it just never stops bro you tried to break me once this time I'm
the one doing the breaking dude these wrestlers at the bell we've all these
new age wrestlers sad come back to her you try to show how tough you are and
some want to be underground street fight expect us all to run away because
because you beat up an old man?
Then go tell some campfire ghost stories with the Wyats.
While you spent a year embarrassing yourself,
I was defending my title over and over and over again.
Just because you walked in here on your own
doesn't mean you're still not hiding behind Haman's shield.
Picking your opponents, your matches.
I can beat any opponent in any match.
How about I name the terms then do you want to go run and ask mr. Haman if that's okay
Haman is an advisor outside of the ring
Inside the ring. It's all me. I
Don't care what kind of match it is. It ends the same way our last meeting ended
Me as there's a real by the way one telling you it's time to retire
Name your terms
Um, extreme rules.
Let's take the leash off both of us.
WrestleMania deserves mayhem and you deserve a brutal end to your reign.
You think a few chairs and Kendo sticks are going to change how this ends tonight?
Bring them all.
Dude, you think of like all of the wrestlers, I mean, except for
keys you can. I never liked personally, but like the rock, Scott Steiner, William Regal,
their offspring are kind of like what happens when you inbred too much in eugenics, it feels like.
No one knows who you're talking about.
Elaborate?
Jealous?
I don't think I need to.
Must be nice.
Oh it is, trust me. I know as well as anyone what he brings, the good and the bad.
You've got to wonder what would have changed if you had said yes to him.
Between you and me, if you could go back.
Wait, does he have the magical power?
There's no point in dwelling on it. I'm focused on my future, which starts tonight.
Yeah, you never know. Who doesn't love a good comeback story, right? Anyway, good luck out there.
So like a whole part of this game is like seeing fuck has time traveling power. It's fucking stupid
You're to wish me luck all this we both know luck hasn't got starting to sell as a general manager
I'm her
You're welcome for the reason for the ratings now do your job and stay out of the way while I steal the show
fuck you
well you got your match brawnbreaker WrestleMania and all it cost you was
your soul and Hector's and any shred of respect I had for you we were friends
and you attacked me why for getting in your way for trying to remind you of
who you were you know during those long months of rehab when a lot of people
were telling you to walk away when you were starting to doubt yourself who did
you call i wish i never would have picked up that's not fair i hope it was
worth it how the hell the fuck was i supposed to know he did that it will
be when i win will it you know in life you don't get
do overs. But if you could, if you had a chance to go back and change just one decision, one
moment that sent you off course, you're telling me you wouldn't. No. Every step brought me
closer to this match. Even the ones I took over people like you. Wow. I thought I knew
you. I guess I never did. Look, anything can happen out there tonight. Extreme Rules
Let's you do anything, but after tonight the story won't just be what you did
It'll be who you became to do it just like everyone else. It sounds like you can't wait to watch
I never said who I was pulling for
Got the f of dude
It's time
Me versus Roy's man
Oh
Oh, thank god we fixed our intro
and ready to form a rocket-type looks to complete us. Come back.
Peace your eyes.
The time has come for me to try to make it,
I have the game to bring it in!
I've been a key to what this man's doorway is reputation,
It's legacy to academia,
He broke every rule,
And now he's in a mess,
Where there are many,
And there's a sick light with you,
And yet here he is,
Wrestling Extreme Rules,
Title on the line,
And he is exactly where he's supposed to be!
I like this part right here right here
right there
That's hard
That is hard
He demanded the spotlight, we'll see what he does with it
That's smart coming up
Let's see what this loser has.
I've been nearly in the focus for now, this man!
Wait...
Ron Breaker looks and sounds like, even his name sounds like someone that would have
drawed in the 80s.
Yeah. Yeah. And we look like
Snake Plisken, which is cool.
And not big.
And his opponent, from Woodstock
Georgia, weighing in at 250
pounds. The undisputed W. W.
W. E. Shepard.
I
Call me cake
The invitation of the world championship and go the WWE championship in 2002 brought us the undisputed title
Title to rule them all
This man has broken protocol trust even locker rooms to get here and now he's in the kind
of match where that doesn't matter extreme rules the history books in the car you got
here they only care who is wearing the title at the beginning and that is why this match
is perfect for both of them.
Braun earned it.
The former archetype took it.
Tonight, we found out which one gets to work away
with the prize.
Pay a fucking back to the neck.
Set up in the corner.
What is coming next?
Got to hurt.
Had a whole lot you could do with a bum wing, guys.
And he retaliates!
Oh, he's giving these people a shot now!
They better get in line for him!
Catter's with an attack on Breaker!
Right to the kidneys from behind!
Pow!
One now.
Oh, man.
He's right behind me.
In a well-timed counter.
Ooh, what an elbow.
The barrage of elbows over and over again.
Counter. He knew just what to do.
Give him in that corner and looking to do some damage
Oh, it's number there are we gonna hit the show
Ron fires back
He's able to reverse it!
Oh, and a deafening jump slam!
Constant pressure being kept on wrong.
Tough spot for taking flight!
Oh, the way to the outside!
Running it all along the line and coming up big with a breath.
Are we about to see it?
Oh, he's going to get it!
He's going to get it!
see it? Fucking backflip.
Shots slam! Can we have a new jump after that?
Great to cross the top rope!
Clothing forward!
Yup. Yup, yup, yup.
He is showing no signs of slowing down in his attacks.
What a collision!
Fuck you.
Taking his map to the outside.
It's shovel time, baby.
Now the pen for the championship.
Shoulders up before two.
You'd expect these pins to last much longer at this stage in the match.
And he saw that coming from Braun.
He's just soaking up all the hate from the WWE Universe.
Clothesline in the corner.
right to the kidneys from behind
oh bullseye reversal from brawl
Zina has a bad every groove attack
oh my god
got them off their feet here
Yeah.
Oh, he picked a long one.
Here we go.
Oh, it turned into a backdrop.
Reika
Sight's locked on the target.
Demostation incoming.
Countering that offense.
And he is directed into the corner.
He's got a good one.
Whoa, just chucking that shuttle at them.
Someone better check on the roof,
because it's a button to come by at all fixed plates.
His crowd is absolutely thunderous right now,
and who could blame him?
He connects with a counter.
Over and over again.
The challenge was unhinged with an absolutely
uncorked attack on the champ there.
So everybody, sleep now.
Sleep now.
Lay down.
Boom!
His core clearly the offensive focus right now.
The smash with the shovel.
Raker showing no answer for this attack.
Raker needs to find that spark in a rally.
I
Have been over with the Frankensteiner the challenge are unable to stay out of harm's way
Picked up and being carried around now
No fuss on that delivery
Clearly doesn't want this match to go on much longer than it has to
Oh, look at that.
Don't slam.
That's the worst part of this shovel.
Wow, look at this.
Just cranking it out.
The evil shovel.
Ooh.
This whole building is shaking.
Matches like this are what it's all about.
Oh, man.
Don't let it take down.
Got the shoulders down.
10, 10 on the line!
Something of a cocky decision.
Him just stopping the pin like that.
There.
Whoa! Just chucking that shovel out there.
Hey, Paul.
Now count out as he takes things out of the ring.
I have a feeling we're about to get a front row seat, gentlemen.
So much disdain with each of these shots.
Something about this is starting to feel way more personal.
Put on his stuff, those are points made.
No need to keep on doing this.
It was an efficient form of offense for that move.
Oh, man.
Breaker can't seem to get out of harm's way.
Breaker used to find out the best place in his place book
now.
Put him in for the back breaker.
Ouch.
Give me that fucking bow.
Jack is your title in hands.
Not planning to just admire the craftsmanship.
Boom! Slammed with the championship!
Boom!
Boom! Tights in hand and perhaps the key for a target.
This is just turning into a savage display of filest.
Setting up for something here.
Look at power slam!
Thread out of ringside and get back to the mat.
Oh, a hot jab!
What are you doing, Ralph? Hey, get out of that corner, man.
Getting put against the turnbuckles!
Shoulder tackle after shoulder tackle!
And these two are absolutely blowing the roof off this place, as well as tearing each other apart.
What a cover to retain the championship!
He breaks the last cat after one.
His resiliency on another level.
This match on another level.
And truly...
Can he do it?
Hooked up. Here we go.
My breaker turns the tables. He's in a very bad spot.
We're about to get some of these.
Oh.
That's gotta be it. Consider the championship pretend.
Makes the cover.
Oh my God!
The directorates the title.
I bet we could have matched that up. I need to remember I could do that.
This man has broken protocol trust even locker rooms to get here and now he's in the kind of match where that doesn't matter
Extreme rules
That's is why this match is perfect for both of them
Tonight we found out which one gets to walk away with the prize
Right to the kidneys from behind.
Ah, jeez.
Forcefully sent into the corner of the ring.
Both superstars countering one move after another.
Jeez.
Shadow Owens has shown up in Romania with receipts.
You are the one that influences Hamlet's last roadblock.
But where is he?
You're always in the ring.
Oh, no.
Niki's presence, no, no! We're gonna try to play hero here.
Stands it up.
What is happening?
Oh
The shoulder up after one there might of course second wing here
Oh
Trapping the arse is loose
Oh what blows to the back of the neck the champion just teed off our Challenger
found no way to break free there and he saw that coming from Braun he's got him
now gets caught by the exploder how about the strength of the champ just
flinging off the Challenger I don't know this is a good idea this is gonna
to take more strength than he has left.
A lift up.
Wow!
You have to question what kind of mallet 10 is behind a power bomb with that much force.
They're putting their full weight on the arm.
And Rager showcasing his arsenal.
That bomb is looking to inflict more damage to him.
Thank you.
Here he is, heading back into the ring.
He manages to reverse.
He finally manages to answer back.
had to dig down deep to stop that onslaught and now he has to continue to do so.
It saw what was coming there.
Finds a counter for Breaker.
Flopping him up in the corner.
You are on the table now.
Oh, propel into the table.
He's got a plan in mind and a table is the key ingredient.
Reversal from Braun.
And Breaker again headed to the outside.
And he's going with the great equalizer here.
The steel chair and slides back into the ring.
Oh!
Like to the shock.
That looked nasty.
Oh, yeah, he's definitely bleeding now.
Quick invasion for him there.
Both superstars showing great awareness of their opponents'
weapons.
You know, uh-oh, has to fight a way out of this.
Let me out.
And he's focused on the job.
Look into the tank.
Kick out, and you can see the frustration
starting to build.
Give him credit.
He's got plenty of energy left.
Fucking hell man.
Counters to gain the advantage.
Oh, countering with a chop lock will halter any attack.
Impose off the reversal.
No, I wanted the fair moment.
Picked up.
Beautiful spin-out power bomb.
No question after that power bomb.
The champ has a strategy to retain.
And he's leaving the ring for the moment.
Goes out of the way of that one.
Chokes for a man.
The champ's struggling to stay on the defensive there.
This is how extreme worlds goes.
the room no shortage of pain and suffering as this match continues
he's not messing around he's got his hands on a shovel counters with an attack on breaker
right to the kidneys from behind
butt in the back of the neck
that's not a lot of money oh no okay the bullseye with that chair
Oh, effective body blow.
And a virgin damage there.
Chubb Slam!
Baker is out of the way.
Oh, back shots.
Baxter and Kidney's from behind.
And these competitors are really laying it all on the line here.
You can just tell how badly they want it.
Now that's what you call impact.
And he really believes he has all the power now, wielding that weapon.
And he turned it around.
What? Why would you throw a shovel like that?
Find some payback with an overworked shot.
Good, great, grand uppercut.
Beaming down with a shovel, straight pummeled with it.
This move sucks.
Oh, coming down the hall with that shovel.
Watch out, Breaker showing no answer for this attack.
Breaker is breaking down a bit.
That's not how you should use a shovel.
He can be enjoying the moment too much, giving his opponent a lot of room to recover.
Broad fires back.
And break is finally changing the tempo with that attack.
That could be the spot Broad was looking for.
What? What? What? Just the power. Uh-uh.
I guess he doesn't think he's done enough damage to put this one away yet yeah that was
Macho man he can make a good job.
This is canned misaction right now and this crowd is loving it.
Not an empty scene in the house and everybody is on their feet now.
How about a bar bar back?
How about that?
Oh, I didn't mean it.
Whip back into the ring.
Clearly lost in the moment. He better snap out of it.
And outside the rain and no kind else means he's tired
Solid defense of his part man
Figures impact from the joke slam and other stiff shots in the head here
Here getting muscle up for a vertical suplex
It's like a fighting in the gondola.
That's what it feels like.
Oh, that shuttle hit him hard.
The arm absorbing the damage.
Oh, man.
That will break you down.
Oh, wow.
Look at that man, the man with the pan, setting up that table!
Oh! Retaliating with a strong elbow!
Good! Great!
Oh! What?!
Matches like this are really what it's all about!
It's what this sport is built for!
Just look at the WWE Universe.
They know there's no better place to be than right here, right now.
Constant pressure being kept up wrong.
Wall needs to start reacting quicker.
Oh, God, watch this.
Well, taking athleticism with a 450.
That kind of agility is something that just won't get the champ's shot.
One not one of the champ's shots.
One moment, this hall came and feared the most.
Just happened on the grandest stage of the mall.
and I ask where you are disputed WWE champion
I don't even know what I got here
and these fans don't even
and these criticism
all haven't coupled or protected
ballpoint guns
that's just going to get louder
I think I know
and I am playing
I think I know
and I am playing
is Paul Hammond begging to jump ship this is a pivotal moment that could shape the rest
of the champions career and the future of WWE final major decision of your comeback
He's back now, you just repeat a polyamide shaping, you said to make headlines on the line with the Oracle or do you send him an instruction to their message, you'll never be his next client.
After everything the archetype has been through, how can he forget all that inside with him?
He's not forgetting both of the reasons he's doing it, like you're not the only type.
And Paul Heyman now sit at the top of WWE for Booker T, Wayne Barrett, Corey Graves,
and this has been a wrestling media.
We had to do it.
That was the most evil thing we've ever done.
Pledge your allegiance.
Nice.
That's us. I am evil. Hmm. I wonder if this guy's
The replay of stories is our truth or Xavier wasn't she's replaying my right. You know,
say you need to play a rise match to either depending on the region if you lose it in
the title defense match
I
You and me the archetype and the wise man
Finally working together. It just feels right doesn't it? It feels incredibly wrong
But that's exactly why I like it
Once I found out everything you did to try to keep me down, I knew I needed that kind
of deception on my side.
And now you're going to do the same thing to my opponents and ensure I remain WWE Champion
for as long as I want.
This is the most evil rap.
I can do that, my archetype.
And I just have to say, the way you so easily dispatched of my previous client
opened my eyes to what was truly possible.
So I thank you for that.
Vader and Palpatine.
You're welcome.
What would have lined up for my first title defense?
Another title defense, another victory.
Just give me the word.
I don't think that helps my title run.
Give me another option.
I saw the Undertaker.
That's not the kind of title defense I want.
Do you have anything else?
All right, not bad, actually.
Not bad.
Also, good ass motherfucking stream.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Smobby, Air and Dark Shocker,
next for 7th Seagust, Thursday.
Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.