you
Bro, tell me how the fuck—so I have to buy Oakentower.
Malph gave me the seal of approval.
I want to play it.
Why is Okin Tower $10.39?
But if I buy Dungeons and Degenerate gamblers plus Okin Tower bundle, it's $8.31 because
I own Dungeons and Degenerate gamblers?
I think it makes sense, man.
Because you already own one?
Yeah, okay, one of us is fucking stupid here.
And I'm just gonna say, I mean, I'm biased.
I don't think it's me.
Because I'm getting the same thing in either one.
Do you know how discounts work?
Buy Oaken Tower, 20% off.
$10.39 Canadian buy dungeons and degenerate gamblers plus Okan Tower bundle minus 20%
$8.31 Canadian
No man, Gaben thinks this is itchio pay what you want. I'll be dead ass with you bro
I'm pretty sure that I have dungeons and degenerate gamblers because I got a steam code from the fucking developer
When the game came out so guess what motherfucker?
I'm not taking two dollars and eight cents off of Okan Tower because I got a free code for the other game
I'm buying the fucking $10.39 version
Continue to payment bro
I can't tell why you're mad, because it reminds me of a friend of mine, and he's right.
But like when we go get a coffee, he doesn't order the coffee off the menu.
He builds the coffee in the app and then shows it to the barista, because he gets the same
drink for a cheaper price by building it from its base elements in the app than actually
ordering it off the menu.
So I'm not mad at him, I'm mad at the system for not just offering it at the lowest price
when you take it off the menu.
My friend gave Le Bonheur 3 out of 5, so why are you lying?
That's crazy.
Honestly, I was crashing out, A, because Le Bonheur is an incredible film, I think it's
a very affecting piece of media, but then also reading all the comments on Reddit and on Letterbox
that are like, what an ambiguous film, I don't know what to think about it.
Did she or didn't she?
I don't know, and what does it say that maybe their life just had too much beauty?
Maybe their life, maybe they were suffering from too much of a good thing, and I'm
like were we watching the same fucking movie? She was married to the fucking
Antichrist bro and society did not give a fuck. Society did not care. That's what
the was he hot? Yes. Yes he was hot. And there's two two takeaways from Agnes
Vardis 1965 film Le Bonheur. Okay the first takeaway is we need to stop
giving the French two-hour lunch breaks until we can figure out what the fuck is going on because if this dude had
Two 15-minute piss breaks and 30 minutes to eat a sandwich none of this shit would have happened and the second one is ladies
This is what happens when you marry a guy this handsome. You should be marrying slightly uglier guys
Okay, this guy is too handsome. Are you naive you should have known something was gonna go down
Should have married a guy that's a little bit uglier
Letterbox users too uptight to make the obvious joke. No, bro. Look at my fucking comments. They all say
layboner, which is funny and it's kind of like what the movies about anyway, but
Another misogyny supercut incoming bro, what are you talking about?
I gave lay boner 5 out of 5.
It's going to be the first movie I put in my top 4 on Letterbox.
In spite of myself, I'm literally the number one ally that women have.
The only people who think I'm a misogyny are men.
Women love me, man.
They love me.
And now we love you.
We love your film ticks.
We love your nuance takes on Agnes Vardis feminists take on the French new wave.
They love me.
Hold on buddy.
Who's who's your ally?
Chiblee, because he reads Murakami and gave, uh, he got cyber bullied into deleting
his review of I saw the TV glow, cause he got drunk on an airplane watching it
and gave it like two and a half stars or whatever.
Chiblee, that's your, that's your ally.
That's your ally.
Murakami does not help your case.
I know that's why I brought it up.
It's his case.
Devil Wears Product 2 this Friday.
You must consume.
Happy Narwhal.
Don't take offense to this.
You must consume.
Yes!
Get the girls together!
the devil wears Prada too pre-order the Blu-ray it's cheaper to pre-order the
Blu-ray when you get your movie ticket if you want to buy the Blu-ray later it'll
be $40 if you buy it in a bundle with the movie ticket it'll only be $32 you'd
be stupid not to pre-order the Blu-ray get the popcorn bucket yes
Meryl's back, Queen Meryl!
Before I do this, let me check the Rotten Tomatoes score.
No reviews yet, and it comes out in two days. That's a horrible sign, man.
No, never mind. Let's see what the enthusiast press says about this.
Read all our reviews.
There's there's one review. No, there's more than one review
See plus from Indie wire, that's pretty good 2.5 out of 4 from slant magazine
See, you get degrees. That's true. Your last 10 reviews have an average of 4.9 in a heart.
Okay, so let's take a look at these movies and let's see which one has to be sacrificed.
So let me, I'm going to sort by when rated, newest first.
All right, so there's Le Bonheur,
Cleo from Five to Seven, David Lean's brief encounter,
Lingua Franca, The Day Trippers,
Festin, An Autumn's Tale,
Kurosawa's Throne of Blood, RoboCop,
Yojimbo, Rashomon, and Nirvana the Band, the show.
So which one are we putting at a 2.5
so that people don't think our letterbox is performative,
bro?
You don't want to say it, but it's an autumn tale low key. I could move thrown of blood
down half a star. If you put a gun in my head and said you got to change one of these, I
moved thrown of blood down half a star. I take it down from a four and a half to a four.
Did you know that Kevin Hart has a movie called Die Heart where he plays Kevin Hart?
Can I fucking blow your mind?
Did you know they made a second one?
Did you know he's in another movie called Die Heart 2?
That literally came out a year after Die Heart?
That's crazy man.
That's insane.
You do, I will admit you have to go back 11 movies to find a movie that I did not give
like four and a half or higher and that's tiny furniture bro.
I mean I've been watching some peak shit.
Keep in mind, listen, I'm literally chatting as a monolith to me.
The same people who are mad that I've been watching too much Kino Cinema were also
mad that I gave F1 two and a half.
And honestly, it deserves a two.
The more I think about that movie,
and I know it's one of those movies,
it's not art, it's product,
you're not meant to think about it,
but it does not deserve a two and a half.
A two and a half was like,
I don't know what I was thinking.
I was thinking, I wonder if I had,
I think what I'm gonna do is on stream,
When I get to a hundred movies, I'm going to do a letterbox list on stream, ranking the
100 movies that I've seen so far in 2026.
But the real sacred cow for me is figuring out which of the five stars is the worst.
What's the worst five star that I've seen in 2026, man?
I'd have to.
Something's got to be the worst.
I don't know what it is.
Too difficult? Well, we do. We like to do difficult things. That's why I chose this job.
I will also, I think I might even have some four and a halfs that I could elevate over
a five, but I'd have to think about it.
Some movies that have grown in the rear view as opposed to when I watched them.
And some movies that perhaps have diminished with the benefit of hindsight.
Sort by watch date.
Sort by highest rated.
Let's see.
I mean I'll tell you one thing.
It ain't gonna be it ain't gonna be boogie nights
Boogie nights is not that's not gonna end up on the bottom. That's for sure
Have to think about I don't know man, that's fucking hard
Haters will tell you dead ringer should have been a four and a half. No man dead ringer should have been a fucking six
You know what? I'll say it. I'll say it dead ass.
All of the five stars that I've, here's the five stars that I've reviewed, or the movies that I've given five stars from 2026, okay?
Blue Velvet, There Will Be Blood, Marty Supreme, Barton Fink, Hard Boiled, Dead Ringers, Agira the Wrath of God, The Umbrellas of Sherbourg,
Boogie Nights. I saw the TV glow when Harry Met Sally the celebration brief
encounter. Clale from 5 to 7 and Leibhann or the worst of all them is
Marty Supreme. I'm sorry to say it. I still think it's a five star. Marty
Supreme is on the bottom of the list not just because it's the newest not just
because of you know anti-recentive bias it's the worst of the five stars
that I've seen this year. Now the real question are there any four and a
have to clear it. Oh, I'd have to, I'd have to figure out how to change the filter to show
that. Well, let's see, what are the four and a half string this year?
Obtravino likes it. Sentimental value splits view. No other choice. Sorry, baby. The green
night police story, scanners, ghost dog, Tokyo Godfathers, love in the afternoon and
the mood for love. Silence chat silence. Francis Han, Nirvana the band, the show, the movie
Robocop, Throne of Blood and Autumn's Tale. Damn, there's some fucking heat in here, man.
Realist shit I ever said in Chibley's stream, and I knew it was real because you couldn't
reply. And it's your fault chat, by the way, just so you know, this is literally
your fault. Chibley watching Nirvana the band, the show, the movie, and only giving
it a heart is your fault. Because what that means to me, sometimes you say it best when
you say nothing at all. He wanted to give it a four, but he didn't want to deal with
all the comments that were like, why did you hate this movie so much? I know because I gave
sinners a four and I'm still dealing with people calling me racist in the reviews.
He didn't want to deal with the backlash from giving a sacred cow a four instead of
a four and a half or a five. So he said, you know what, fuck it, just give it
a heart so I can signal that I've seen it and move on.
Feel the same way about speed racer? I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet.
But the world was a different place when it came out, to be honest, because when it came
out we didn't know it was good.
We only figured out it was good like, I don't know, like six years after it came out or
something like that.
Speed racer in the theater changed my life.
Yeah, but did you see it in the theater in 2008 or did you see it in the theater
in like 2024?
Like Ben, be so fucking for real with me right now.
2008?
All right, well fair enough
So you go okay listen I'll look up the fucking box office for speed racer box office mojo
Speed racer because I don't think all y'all saw speed racer in 2008
120 million dollar budget
$43 million domestic gross some of you are fucking lying
Some of you are lying
movie tickets are a million dollars each and 50 of you said you saw it okay
whatever you say bro
they're showing it at the park theater next month
I probably can't go but it'd be nice to
virtue signal and say I'm gonna pull up
So I'm seeing how it did. What was this? 67% drop week one to week two. What were they
smoking back then, man? 67. Yes, man. You should go. Yeah. Okay. Maybe you think I'm Francois
from Le Bonheur. Maybe I'll just drop my kid off with some random old lady next to
to a pawn so I can handle some important business.
It ain't 1965 in Vincenzo.
Actually, that's a good point.
I could see, well, I could probably
see Speed Racer with my kid.
She might fuck it up for all of you in the audience,
though, because she might be making a bunch of noise.
You're saying take your kid, but then like in 11 days when you see me at the park theater
and some kids in the audience crashing the fuck out, you're going to be like, why did
I say that shit?
Is ADHD the movie, she'll enjoy it?
What are you trying to say?
Can you hear that?
Is this the first game in history that's ever opened at like 30% volume instead of
1,000% volume?
This is awesome.
What do you give Firewalk with me?
Can I say something to farm minus twos, but over time this take is going to age well.
David Lynch fans need to just chill just for like six months.
I like David Lynch.
I watched Blue Velvet.
I gave it a five.
I thought it was a seminal film.
But every time you talk about any movie, it being looped back into David Lynch
or like hey this has the guy from Twin Peaks in it. Oh I remember I saw this guy whoa isn't
that this guy from Fire Walk with me isn't this isn't this one of the actors that was
in Twin Peaks you just got to chill a little bit because you're over exposing him man.
You got to you got to just simmer on it just a little bit. Streams off to a horrible
start I like I like to tank the vibes and bring it back later like yesterday when
I said that I thought that the Karen haircut actually looks kind of good except I believe it I
Don't know what you want me to say sometimes you see a middle-aged lady rockin the Karen haircut and it kind of it kind of hits man
It kinda hits.
That's crazy and I like short hair on women.
What is this fucking Arkansas wokeness bro?
It's 2026.
Everyone likes short hair on women bro.
You ain't special.
You out here on the playground saying some shit like, I don't think there are such
things as girl colors and boy colors.
Yeah bro, we know.
This is a new millennium.
How do you keep sniping me?
Well, you keep typing the real thoughts that are in your head.
What do you mean?
How do I keep sniping you?
Some fucking funny comment in 2026 to say, I'm not like other guys.
I like women with short hair.
Bro, everyone likes women with short hair.
You ain't special.
Leave us alone.
You're the ones typing, okay?
That's all I'm saying.
Are you hearing this?
Okay.
Flash marker, Okin Tower.
Y'all we're back, we're playing video games.
This is a solo dev developed auto battler that comes highly recommended from one mouth.
I saw a mouth playing this and I said wait this might have the sauce.
He said it was inspired by backpack battles and super auto pets, but you know what I
like about it and this is no disrespect intended to backpack battles.
I was in when I found out that it only had
six inventory slots instead of thirty thousand.
The fact that your inventory doesn't grow into like a path of exile skill tree but instead
you have a backpack with six
slots in it
that was that felt incredible to me. Let's immediately jump into ranked. By the way do
I know what I'm doing? No man I have absolutely
no idea whatsoever.
Um
Yeah man, I guess I'll start with the four perks that I have unlocked.
Welcome to Oaken Tower, enter the shop.
These are the items you can buy and put in your tower.
You can reroll items or freeze them for the next round.
Training gives you XP to level up.
You can right click to buy a full level.
provide rarer items in the shop. Hover here to see the rarities. Okay, here's the thing.
I have 55 gold. Tim Robinson mentioned. I'm not going to spend, I'm not going to spend
4 to gain experience, bro. I'm not going to spend 52 to get a full level up. That would
be insane. How to grow? On trigger, give Elven item to the right, plus 3 damage
permanently? Am I am I crazy? Do my eyes deceive me? Why don't we just take how to
grow and then pop it on the refined spear? It's that simple. Pop that right there
and then pop a refined spear right here and I don't see how this could possibly
go wrong. Most common is neutral. This is physic. He has this is I think it's
Just like the Bazaar in that you fight enemies and then in some rounds maybe you fight players.
Your tower fights automatically a win grants one trophy.
Maybe this is a real individual, I don't know, or a tutorial individual.
You lose fewer hearts early game.
Okay, I'm familiar with the concept.
i'm familiar with like fucking dying to the tutorial
enemy
you're cooked i'm literally not cooked because i start with the heel slot and
my my healing can
crit for two x-heel
doesn't even matter because my uh... my shit scales anyway defeat
we lose one heart whatever who cares men fifty five gold
we enter the shop
and the other all the ruby knife for number one rule wait three of the same
item upgrades into a one-star item obtaining two one-star items upgrades them
into a two-star item there are also special ways to obtain powerful three
star items okay good luck oakland
crazy tutorial man
this also inflicts some bleed it looks like
A regular bow, a divine axe, a brass knife, on trigger gain 5 gold and reduce this amount
by 1.
Snowflakes, obviously we won't be buying that.
Ice spear, on trigger permanently gain plus 2 crit chance.
I think you can see where I'm going with this one.
This slot grants plus 10 heal, plus 5 every 3 days.
We need a healing item in there, man.
Because actually, healing item is very sensible because we want to make the fight last as long
as possible so refined spear can pop off.
Healing item?
Anybody?
Healing item?
Shield item?
Sturdy shield?
No elven items?
I think a neutral shield?
I'll pop it in there.
I don't think it's going to heal, but that's fine.
Launch it up, bro.
I leave the shop.
Reward, goblet, absolutely.
I will fight blue ace.
Bro has two fire books and a goblet,
and his perk is gain a burn slot.
I gotta be honest with you, fella.
I don't think you ever stood a chance on this one.
Any item gets the heal ability in the slot.
Is yellow heal in this game?
That's a very bold choice.
We run this town, phone trophy for me, what the hell, priests doing the pleading emoji
plus 100% max health or HP plus income or both increase your max HP by 100% and gain
10 gold or gain 300 max HP and 10 income. Give me that blessing.
Hell in Spear. Okay, useful tip. You can hold shift over items to see their next star tier.
It literally gets 15 damage when it levels up. Who cares, man? That being said, of course
we will be buying it. Guys, did I just?
Okay, I still have my old one. You need three of them? Oh, so you can't just stack it
and store the XP like a bizarre style. Understood, okay.
Life goes on, life goes on. You do 50 damage. 50 damage is pretty solid, man.
50 damage every 3.9 seconds I think I could live with this just being on the
board and then honestly throw me a second shield you don't do enough damage to
matter and then whatever goes the fastest should be here but only because
You take 2.8, you take 2.8. Yeah, yeah, genius.
Dartoni Edge Biroch.
Got a damn petal staff, man.
It can crit heal too.
Yeah, yeah, might be a natural.
Guys.
I mean,
For a fellow like me, this is just like buying cows and selling milk.
You know what pisses me off?
Everyone's saying you missed a bazaar.
Where's all the love for the OG, man?
Super auto pets.
The first auto battler that was ever made.
We missed that too?
You should miss it more than the bazaar.
three re-rolls in cloud vials or a weapon buff value potion?
A random weapon buff potion?
Yes, please.
Use it to give an item negative 0.5 seconds cool down.
That's huge.
That's huge on our scaler.
Perfect.
69 damage every 1.8 seconds.
Can I be so fucking for real?
Level me right now to get better items in the shop.
Every 2.9 seconds get 25 shield.
I think I could be persuaded.
We don't need to sell necessarily.
We could sell.
And it's a rare item.
can't afford it we do need to sell for eight gold it's perfect chest in the
bottom right oh shit what is it man a bulwark I'm trigger permanently gain one
shield the start of combat permanently gain five damage per mace start of
combat permanently gain plus four damage per dark I well we'll take this sell
this get a more defensively minded build going and then go fight Jin who's also
very shield heavy but I mean I don't really know what I'm doing to be honest
you can't stop me I hope this fight goes on forever this is PvE right I
I honestly think this is PvP.
I think this is PvP and I'm going to,
I'm gonna actually have a higher ELO in this
after one game that I have
after 100 hours of Counter-Strike.
I literally have full HP, bro.
68 gold, another refined spear.
Wait a minute, it said,
there's special ways to get to level three.
I don't know, man.
Start of combat shield for a hundred?
It is a rare item, what are you?
You're a rare item too.
Cost 44 to level up?
Level us up, I'm feeling fantastic
about our current, the state of things.
I am cool.
Damn, you got a lot of HP.
On the other hand, I get a little bit stronger over time.
On the other hand, I'm caught up to you and will now outscale you severely.
Victory.
Enchanter? Discover epic upgrade item? Vitality slot and healing? Bro, upgrade a common or rare
item to a maximum of two stars? I mean, I feel like we would be a fool not to upgrade
our book so that our spear scales faster. But I will say I don't fully know what I'm doing.
On trigger permanently gain plus one poison per poison item. I guess I'm just I'm looking
for Elden Stuff. On Trigger give adjacent items plus 5% Crit Chance permanently. Hang
on bro. Is adjacent everything? Like to the upper, the lower, the left or the right? Let's
Let's find out, men.
Take this out, put this in.
Absolutely it is.
Give adjacent items plus 5% crit chance permanently.
And then, sell this.
Level up cost 48, re-roll me first.
Elvin Buck.
Reply burn gain that much shield, Molken bow, the silver lance, Elven shield.
I want more how to grow.
48 to level up, we pass on that.
Let's fight Domi 202.
The fuck they got a damn planet on a stick, man.
They have 4,000 HP!
But wait, we're kinda hangin' in there.
And longer fights are good for us long term.
Please heal me.
Heal me better.
I will be killed.
There wasn't as much of a stomp as I thought.
He scales too? Yeah, but I'm never gonna see this motherfucker again.
Hopefully.
We roll. No, first we level.
Level 4. Then we cost 64 to level up. We roll.
Hmm, crystal.
Moon items. I do not care. I leave the shop and I go fight Disaster 2020.
That reminds me of something, but I can't think of what.
You're level 3, I'm level 4.
There go, I win.
Ah, shit.
Motherfucker, 11 HP.
Okay, we're on lethal.
What do you have? Restore lives or gain max HP?
2000 max HP and 2 lives, so we're no longer on lethal.
spyglass me am I just looking for the items that already exist yes yes I'm
just looking for the items we already have oh I can't afford it I need one
more gold sorry to the spyglass holy shit start of combat permanently gained
plus 12 damage 14 gold remains and we've got a treasure chest good lord what
the hell is this increase your critical strike damage from times two to times
3. Untrigger if you only have unique bows. Trigger your other bows for maces. Wait, wait,
okay, wait. We need this. The legendary amulet. Increase your critical strike damage and then you,
you're doing 50 damage every 4 seconds. We literally don't give a, you know what, man.
We literally don't give a, you know what?
I think, well I can't replace the spyglass, the spyglass is peak, noble sphere, you've
been removed.
It's just 2.4, 3.6, I mean, okay, I can live with that, I mean, I'm not sweating the heel
at all.
27 gold, we leave.
Two peaks.
Level four versus level five?
You literally just have books.
don't read books. None of this matters because we scale. 141% crit chance. Be
so for real looking how did you know that? Where did you get that information
from destroyed on the screen no shot bro upgrade an epic I don't think I have
any epics bro that's the one thing I don't have is an epic freeze an enemy or
a frosty gift slot buffs on the other hand call me good librarian you here call
me January the way I'm jonesen frosty gift could be interesting frosty gift
could be interesting but on the other hand fill your tower with random slot
buffs spells and magic here have 25% reduced cooldown this slot grants plus
one burn.
First three triggers healing here also grants max HP.
This slot also grants heal.
Each day increase this item's sell value by 25.
I think it was pure shit.
I think it was god awful.
Now be so for real with me.
We have a two star refined spear.
Can I make it?
Some of you watched Mouthplay this yesterday.
Can I make it into a three star by just buying more?
Or is there some kind of special trigger we need?
Your start of combat affects trigger an extra time.
Then you would gain 24 damage at the start of combat
every time.
I feel like the ice spear is like completely irrelevant.
It does crit heal, which is nice,
but you can't upgrade from two to three just by buying.
Noted, noted.
Welcome to the squad.
Level me, 14 gold, leave the shop.
Tixati at silver one.
Okay, we're fucked, man.
You have more HP than me
and you have a sword that does 823 damage with multicasts.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Book is spell, put it in the top right.
good idea then every time it goes off it could give nothing plus six damage perfect
uh permanently
that being said you've illuminated something for me plus six damage is now
irrelevant we need something better in this spot
on trigger if you only have unique item types give five damage permanently
are you fucking joking with me bro permanently does not matter right now
We need something right now to save our life.
When you crit gain a bonus multicast.
I need an amulet that gives multicast.
Untrigger trigger a crystal.
I don't think that's it, man.
I don't think that's it.
We could get a level 2 Elven Shield.
You know what?
Oh, it's going to cost us 90 gold.
I don't think so, man.
On trigger, remove one second current cooldown from the item below.
Does this have the thing where the lowest you can get is one second?
Because if that's the case, then I don't really want to take this and put it on.
Okay, one second is the lowest.
Then I snooze you.
I snooze you on that then.
Remember I said we're definitely going to win?
I think we're certainly destined to die.
Well, on the other hand, look at this.
Reroll until you see more matches.
We have four gold.
Gamma from Bronze 1.
Don't fucking kill me.
You have 10,000 HP and all of your shit is rainbows, man.
Wait, there's a- we're running just about even right here.
We're literally going to win.
The debuffs bro?
I apply no debuffs and yet I'm outscaling them.
They can make sense.
And your level 7.
Honestly, no disrespect.
That's a little embarrassing.
The bishop.
500 max HP, 15 damage, or 5,000 max HP and 3 guaranteed lucky rolls.
Yes.
What is a lucky roll?
Gives you an item you already have, maybe?
On trigger, give the item a bow, plus one, okay, now here it says plus one bonus multicast.
Plus one bonus multicast.
If you don't have multicast, can you get a bonus multicast?
It's time to science the shit out of this, please don't say that in my chat.
It is legendary, it has to be good, man.
I mean, the multicast on that could go crazy.
And then a lucky re-roll?
Alright, well that's a little tough to read, but everything's half price.
You apply burn, gain that much bonus damage.
You will never move the spear.
Bro, what do you want me to move the spear for?
Explain what you want to move the spear for.
That's better than getting 2% bonus damage every time it goes off.
You can move the book.
The book only buffs things to the right.
I'm going to, sorry, this is, we're so back in 2024 bizarre chat immediately.
It's so crazy.
People are like, yeah, well, you're, listen, this is probably the optimal way to line
up your items.
But at the same time, you are missing a bonus that would preclude you from getting
all the synergies that you've built the run around.
You could you're missing a 4% damage bonus, bro
You could literally have your book go off more often and do zero damage every 3.8 seconds
and
Then buff fucking nothing. What are you talking about?
Move it to the bottom for a heal, but you might be spinning on that one
But if it's on the bottom, I can't give it multicast via the lost fragment, bro
Read the whole thing.
Increase its cooldown by 4 seconds.
Oh shit, you're right.
It does fucking suck.
Wait, that's gotta go.
That didn't seem like a lucky roll to me.
Give the sword below.
And another Eleven item triggers.
Remove one second from this item's current cooldown.
Okay, that?
It was increasing the cooldown on itself.
Find this chatter, librarian, I want them banished.
I want them banished immediately.
Does anyone in here want to be a Randall and tell me what chatter it was that said
read the whole item?
I literally did so much better when I speed read it.
Not fair for them.
You had free will.
This is why people don't like backseat driving.
The world is better when the people in economy are just watching a shitty movie with Jason
Momoa and the pilot is flying the plane.
Okay don't just, I know you have an axe to grind with some individuals.
Don't just put their name in here thinking I won't check for it, okay?
You gotta go.
Why do you have 11 multicast?
Why does this book have 11 multicast?
It just does?
That's awesome.
Well, you should fucking heal them, bro.
I don't even think I need to reduce your cooldown, because your cooldown is already
going to get reduced like crazy from the spear. Although, actually you getting buffed with
more damage. And then you, what is this? First three triggers healing here also grants magic
such good. This might be the move, man. This might be the move. This costs 45. I would
like to freeze the shop huge silver one how does that seem fair they literally
have a tesseract on their screen get to get this multicast going this multi-cast
is gonna turn this whole thing around there we go get it going again
shit they're scaling faster
We're cooked, I'm afraid, but oh no, we're on two hearts and we're fucking dead.
Or are we?
Oh, shit, Muriel.
Revive with two lives, 16 XP and an epic chest.
I think if anything, we want extra gold.
Take a Hail Mary at the shop, because we definitely want this.
shield does more damage. On trigger permanently gain plus one per poison item. Whenever you
gain shield, do 50 damage. Replenish one charge of the item on the right. Replenish one charge.
charge. Can we take an elven ring and sell it?
Looks like garbage. Looks like grandma the fucking thing. On trigger give elven
item above plus one multicast permanently. This can't get multicast. Alright
Start of combat effects have gone too motherfucking far.
You multi-cast faster, which makes the razor leaf go off even faster.
Level me for some HP, re-roll me.
past 76 to level up bogus should have been 67
here we fucking go wait I'm fucking dead it wasn't even close that's not elvin
shit for some reason I thought the spear was was elvin okay well I think we
We did pretty good, we got 18 elo points, even though the average enemy rating was literally
like more than double Rs.
I guess I'm gonna fight the oak, whatever the hell that means.
Oh, it's a DPS check.
Oh, I surrender.
Okay, cool. To the menu. We're going to run it back, of course.
We go back to ranked. We have unlocked absolutely nothing else.
Start it up.
What's our buff? Poison.
Start with a refined spear. Day 4 gain a poison slot.
They literally, I was like, I'm so excited to mix it up.
And then they gave us the item we already have, man.
Also, the spear is Elvin, you joker.
So they want me to run exactly the same build that I had last time
And I gotta say it's very tempting
You're 55 gold I mean
I'm sorry to say
that it just feels like it could get the job done man it just feels like this is
perfect a buff a weapon and the shield right off the bat
give the mace below multicast all right luck sack
Well this is, this is poor. This is not good.
We will lose this one.
Or maybe we'll both die to sandstorm somehow.
Even though mathematically it makes less than zero sense.
But it doesn't even matter because I literally got double damage because our fight was so long.
Our spear is literally good now.
Also, you got lucky. You got carried by your first shot.
The Elven Shield, which poisons, I might add, 25 gold.
If you have 25 of a debuff, cleanse it.
And it also does a little damage.
You're pretty nice at doing damage, man.
I think a Bone Club might be the play here.
just does a decent amount of damage. Alright, this fellow's got nothing. You're literally
gonna die to poison. I don't care what your shield looks like. Anchoring your whole run
off the free common? No, I'm anchoring my whole run off of this bone club that the
the NPC beat me with on our first round.
What's your perk?
That's a personal question.
You gotta buy me dinner first.
I'll take...
Honestly, early on, that HP can make a big difference.
Give me the healing touch.
Okay, now don't just...
Don't be what you hate.
Don't anchor off of the items you started with, okay?
Look, anchor instead off of the highest rarity item you get.
Yes! Yes!
Perk. Day four, we get a poison slot.
Okay, so we get a poison slot tomorrow.
We want more poison, if possible.
Another item heals trigger this could go kind of crazy long-term men
But also what do you do?
Eight damage every 3.9 seconds anyone know what the fuck? Oh, that's multicast
It does one
It does one multicast every time it goes off
Or it just has to multicast
It just has two multicasts. Okay. Okay, that's fine.
That's three damage. That's true. If we want to stick with poison, we would probably rather buff this with some damage, assuming this actually works.
You could also buff your multicaster, but I think long term we're going for like a poisoned build.
Level up for 32. I wish, man. I wish. I think it's a leave shop situation.
Let me see how this goes, man.
Why not just play auto chess? Don't at me. I already know your top four movies on Letterbox
are Shawshank, 2001, the Space Odyssey, Spider-Verse, and Inger Steller. I can cut to the quick of your essence.
Mocked.
Now there is a problem. Oh no, you still do do poison. That's nice. Okay. There is no problem.
In a hook or a goblet, weapon loot or buff weapons, and you're doing poison.
3.9 seconds, 3.4 seconds. This slot grants plus one poison. Okay. Well, bust my weapons.
Two random commons or give them six damage permanently? Something. I mean, we have multi-cast.
It seems like it could be alright. Fuck this, we don't want this spear. Start a combat
shield for 100. I'm not buying fucking commons man. You're done. Give me the
devil's trident. Level me up for 20, which has given us 272 max HP. You also
inflict bleed. We have another shield. Sell this. Now we've got a pseudo bleed
synergy leave the shop silver one good then it's a fair fight fucking destroyed
bro okin jockey now you're fucking getting it on trigger permanently reduce
the above school down by 0.1 seconds losing the spear is a tough call right
now though it is doing a little bit of damage for us on the other hand it is
is an epic. But we kill too fast. We kill too fast for this to really get to go off very
often right now. I honestly think, crazy as it may sound, take a full level up and fucking
Live your life, bro.
Fight another silver one.
The level up pays dividends forever.
We win again.
So did the item.
No, I probably would have sold it when I got to lethal.
Just out of desperation.
Time Pendant, Time Tonic, or Steal a Potion?
Permanently Reduce the Cool-down of an Item by 0.5 Seconds.
That's pretty fucking good.
What the fuck is a Time Pendant, bro?
Does anybody know?
I know that you can have it all back in a time trap!
But I don't know what this does in the game.
Reduces cooldown of above item.
Fuck that.
We recreate it in aggregate.
We can't sign Giambi.
We can recreate him with the amethyst bow.
We can get a better poison item to go here eventually.
it some support for now. Save it? That's a really good idea. That's an insanely good idea.
Damn, you kind of do a little bit of everything, man.
Honestly, you've swayed in me.
Silver one? Don't say good and it's a fair fight.
Now you're in hell, man.
Why am I getting zapped by lightning? Like an NPC streamer on TikTok.
We win again?
Kind of sick with it, honestly. You are doing a decent amount of damage. It's making it
harder to sell you, unfortunately. But we'll figure something out, man. Start of
combat permanently gained plus 30% crit chance. It is kind of insane.
Seems like it might be better than applying five bleed and then hitting
for nothing.
We'd love to have it.
Other mean items get plus 2 damage.
Yeah, I miss the part where I'm supposed to care, I guess.
Crit chance only good till 100 though?
Yeah, but we only got a win till 10, man.
You freeze this up.
Bronze one, now we're talking.
I know you're in chat right now, be so fucking curvy with me.
Shit, you have 4,000 HP.
How did that happen?
How did you get 4000 HP?
Permanently gain plus 50 max health, this can crit 50% crit chance, give the item below
plus a one bonus multicast.
Oh, it's a pig build!
Six life.
I'll take the 500 HP at this stage of the game.
Honestly, I'd love to level up.
Even if it precludes us from getting the next item.
I consider this content.
You have zero scaling.
Um, OK, I literally give my Elven item to the right, plus three damage permanently now and then.
I guess that's a joke to you or whatever.
Actually, you raise a good point.
Let's throw this bad boy back out there for now.
Combine shields.
No, this is legally distinct from the Bazaar.
can't do that yet. I knew we fucking had it, man.
It did kind of steal my whole flow. Upgrade an epic. We have to have an epic.
And we do, I just, I don't really like it.
Copy item or upgrade item to three-star?
Upgrade a two-star item into a three-star item in two days, or gain 15 gold and a mirror
elixir, a plain copy of an item.
interesting. Oh, it upgraded. Okay, I got scared that it disappeared. The flame mace,
start of combat deal 250 damage and then 40 damage every 2 seconds. Start of combat
permanently. I mean, I don't know why you gotta be doing something. You're on the
squad you gotta be doing something surely I bought you for a reason right oh
shit who's star icy axe with 200% crit chance
the fuck is this adjacent items get bonus damage equal to their crit chance
Ah man, I'm pretty sure I'm definitely dying.
Don't fucking fart on me, mother fucker.
Whenever you gain shield, do 50 damage.
Okay, well obviously we lost one round so we need to redo our entire board.
Whenever you gain 50 shield, whenever you wait, whenever you gain shield, do 50 damage,
you are not doing anything for us anymore.
Throw another shield out there.
You're hitting pretty hard.
You're not doing enough.
I don't know.
I think, I think we got to go all in just on poison.
I don't see anything I already have so I pass.
Now we are fucking talking.
Wait, I already sold that shit.
Nevermind.
I'm triggering one second pull down from the item below.
Obviously we need that, but second pull down
from the item below.
Just kill with poison, fuck the axe, baby, this doesn't do any poison damage.
One second from the right in the light, just give this shield.
So we're going to try to out shield them and kill them just with poison.
This is my design.
Oh shit.
This actually changes everything and it kind of ruins my life.
Permanently transform the item on the right into a plain item.
If you only have, I don't know what unique item types are, so I don't really know
what the fuck you're talking about.
trigger give the item below one bonus multi-cast you would have no poison but
you could shoot a lot and you you only have one charge that's the thing okay
Give me a fucking second.
Freeze the shit up.
How much do you sell for? 20 gold that takes us to 24.
You would also dump this, which sells for- you sell both of these, unfreeze the shop,
throw a second shield out there that also poisons.
And then don't freeze the shop, leave the shop.
Unless this gives you a level, does not give you a level.
This is the play.
This is the same person we fought earlier.
This is a fucking travesty.
This is not fair!
This is the same person!
Fortnite was onto something.
We need literally NPC bots in every video game.
I need two lives and 16 XP stat, bro.
I need as much max HP as I can conceivably get.
On Trigger permanently gain 50 max health.
It's too late for that, man.
Oh, that's the perfect bow.
On Trigger, 10% chance to apply plus 12 bleed.
Okay, level, oh, and a chest.
The time pendant.
Level up, let's re-roll.
I don't see anything I already have.
Can I say something?
I know this is a solo dev.
if I may. Epic items should have a purple glow. Rare items should have a blue glow. Legendary
items should have a yellow glow. That way at a glance I can see more easily what they
are instead of trying to just derive it based on the ornate-ness of their character.
Elvish Orb. On trigger, give the Elven Item above.
We ain't really sweating all that, to be honest.
Plus one multicast permanently.
We roll again.
Remove two seconds from the cooldown from the item below.
And then we definitely want the warrior shield, man.
Oh, shit.
Then get this fucker out of here.
Put this bad boy up there.
I leave the shop.
You can turn on rarity glow in settings?
Oh! Oh!
That changes everything, man!
When another item applies Bleed, trigger this, this can't get Bleed.
Oh, we don't apply Bleed fast enough.
Oh, I mean, it does have five multi-casts, but...
Zirica, don't kill me. This run is literally just starting to pop.
Wait, I have Shield. Shield's good against Burn, right?
I have 700 burn they got me all average enemy rating 1157 seems about right
take me back to the menu we go again oh shit start with plus 10 gold and a random
15 gold item. Wait, but a bone is crazy good. Bone is awesome, man. Rarities are all common.
That seems to make sense. Can I hit you with something insane, bro? Literally start by leveling
up and then just run a bone out there. They have an empty board, man. Greatest day of
my life. Sean, what are you doing? Sean's in chat 100%. Speed it up, oh yeah.
Hahaha, good point.
Mogged.
And now we scale even better forever.
On scale, on trigger, give your axes plus three damage per unique axe permanently?
That's a maze, I'm afraid.
This is an axe though.
Per axe.
Cells for 8.
Wait, bro.
Okay, so obviously you should fill your board before you, like, optimize.
Can you just chill, man?
You should fill your board before you optimize your board, but this synergy will benefit us
in the future.
We'll just...it's so easy to pilot.
All we have to do is add as many axes as possible.
We will lose this one, and I think that's probably a good thing.
I'm gonna spin that as a good thing somehow.
You're dead.
Care to wage your friend though?
As much max HP as possible.
Axes.
I see none axes, but we can really only afford two things.
me get a shield just to keep us in the game. And when you apply a debuff gets
plus two bonus damage. Little multicaster on trigger give your burn items plus one
bonus burn sure man there's a little synergy there. You can re-roll. Bro I
need to buy two items and fill my board. I've on my board!
We can win this
We will win this
Quantity over quality yeah, but honestly, I think that's the play man wait weapon buff value potion buff. We want weapon buff or buff weapons
You want weapon buff or buff weapons man weapon buff or buff weapons
Weapon loot for sure. No, I'd rather buy axes than roll the dice to be honest.
Weapon buff. Random weapon buff. Use on an item to give it plus three shock.
There you go, brother. What's shock? 20 damage per second takes down. Holy cow.
Not an axe. I'm literally just going to look at axes, okay? That's all you need to know.
You can put a goblet on the board just for sell value, reroll once and look for an axe.
Seeing none axes, I place a second shield on the board and walk away.
What is this?
trigger game to random vials.
Anytime I see some wicking shit, I know I'm in trouble, man, fair enough.
You're literally just lucky that I haven't gotten any axes, so don't even sweat it.
They don't make axes in the game, that's the interesting part.
Level me?
Roll me?
Surely one of these must be an axe.
They really want us to run...
Maces.
Instead we're gonna take the Dreamcatcher,
The lower the cooldown of our cleaver to stack as many debuffs as possible.
Will it work?
I have no idea.
Oh shit.
Untrigger permanently gained plus 50 max health.
Get ready man.
They're gonna, yup, that's 2000 HP.
We're lucky we got to them early.
There's hope. There's hope yet. Shields don't fail me now.
Time tonic, time pendant. Items on sale, cheaper re-rolls, bro. Time tonic.
huge. An axe. Holy fuck. Start of combat give your axes plus 4 damage permanently. On trigger,
trigger your items start of combat effects. I mean, you take 9 seconds to go off so I don't
I think that's going to be too relevant, man.
Role me.
None axis, Role me.
What the fuck is this?
On trigger, remove one.
Second.
Pool down from the item below.
Wait, I got, I got plays.
That's not the right one, man. There you go.
Give your axes plus 3 damage per unique axe permanently.
And then roll to try to get one more unique axe.
Or just maybe buy a shitload of potions. Holy cow.
on an item to set it's cool down to 100 seconds wait this is the ideal shop man
take two seconds to go permanently reduces cool down okay i
you go every 5.2 seconds no i don't think so kid
no here's the thing is i don't think you do
you go every 4.5 seconds we freeze the fuck out of this shop mr. Vendetta what
in the park John Luke
oh shit wait wait we're paul we're doing so much damage how did we do that
Oh it did freeze it did freeze it froze
Is that another time tonic what do you go 4.1 seconds? No, bro. I don't think so
shit, oh
shit man
In a plain copy of a spear below honestly, I leave the shop. You don't have you don't have anything good for me
I leave the shop we're going up against someone who has fremen in their name. It's over for me, but that's okay
Or is it over
They're getting stung by lightning
I literally don't know what we're doing, but that's okay. I would like as much max HP as possible of course
Trash
We could use a better shield for sure.
That's trash. You know what? You level up then and roll.
That looks like a better shield.
Holy shit.
And no axes still.
Trust me, you don't have to tell me I got no axes, man.
Look at this. This does a little bit of everything. Plus, it has a multicast on it.
And once this gets to one second, we can just reconfigure the items so that this gets the cooldown reduction
Not a crystal confirmed
I
Mean, I don't know how relevant that's gonna be but we'll take it for now and that honestly I love everything that we got out here
I don't think you move anything to get one more axe out there as of right now. I think you love where you're at
Wait, the runic shield literally carries.
Random Blessing.
Freeze enemy frosty gift.
In a treasure chest, 28 gold to goblets.
Pay the King 20 gold to choose between two random blessings.
The fuck is a doom guide with 500 burn, bro?
It sounds pretty nice.
500 burn sounds really good.
Do some science?
That's a good point.
Okay, it takes 18 seconds to go off, but let's do 2,000 damage, but wait a sec, because
now I'm like, obviously both time reducers going off on this is huge.
But I gotta think about it.
a fucking axe, man?
Okay, this axe is not that good.
You can be sold.
But that means you probably get rid of this,
because who gives a fuck about plus three damage at this stage?
When we have 2,000 damage, we can get out there so easily?
Maybe you reworked the whole run.
to fit the boom guide.
And then, on trigger replenish the charges.
I think we just need a better shield.
Is that gonna happen?
I don't know.
We could have a shield.
Just better than nothing.
Reworked for wrecking ball yet again.
Literally wrecking ball is like, it's an exterior item.
Or at least it was when I was playing the Bazaar.
It worked every single time.
Can you guys apologize to me?
Will you apologize to me for your words and your deeds?
We just fucked this dude up and he's like a patreon tier 3 subscriber to this game
I didn't say shit don't lie to me wall
On trigger permanently give the arcane item below one random debuff
The thing is you don't need one random debuff this late in the game
We just need this shit to go off as often as possible
I really don't think we need the Elven shield.
We level up and- oh!
Yes, man.
Zal'buq.
You just have to live long enough for the Doom generation to go off.
Oh, that was really close though.
I can't be too upset about that.
Bishop? More max HP? Well I mean I'll give a fuck about the damage. Maybe we'd be, nah you want 500 extra health
that would have made all the difference there.
Are you an axe? You're a magical murn item.
Okay, well obviously you're a little bit better as a shield.
You don't need axes.
Well, it's just a matter of taking a peek.
An interesting idea is taking the Wardbinder and just not even running the Arcane Cleaver,
even though it does stack debuffs like crazy.
And then just using this to trigger as many shields as possible.
I'm at least gonna...
Let me see what we're going up against.
We're going up against a book user.
I feel like in that case, if your best item is a sword,
you're probably gonna hit hard,
which means we'll try to outlive you.
And then just let the burn do the damage.
hopefully
little more juice would be nice
it literally worked
sixty shield, outlive, green text arrows, fuck you, I fucking won
whenever you gain a shield, deal fifty down, that's not the play
I need the play
level up for 48, I think we gotta simmer on that, we'd really like to get some
Some items we already have.
Every three triggers getting too gold. Don't make me laugh, man.
We should do a cooking competition. Kate, it's a great idea, honestly.
wait a fucking potion potion shop I bet there's like some commercial kitchens in
Vancouver that you can film on I would be so I would be stunned if there weren't
okay this is awesome the idea that these could give a tag to a to an item
that's otherwise a synergistic unfortunately like none of them matter
to us at all. But in the future, man, in the future, who knows? Fuck it, I'm rolling down.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Come on.
Freeze me.
LaMau?
What are you laughing about, Diobriga?
Did I have 151 multicast on it?
When you apply burn, gain that much bonus shield wave.
That seems like that might be a little bit better.
I'm all in.
That's not what I want to see.
Renek's shield.
That is what I want to see.
I can't afford it.
You go every 16.4 seconds.
I'm still a believer.
Role me?
This is...
This is what we want.
Freeze it.
I don't give a fuck, it's still the best role we've ever had.
Please, Doom Book!
Hold, hold, it's going, it's gonna, we're gonna win!
Literally one easily, there's 10 wins.
Book only does 2k, I literally won and my average opponent was twice as highly rated as me.
What the fuck are you, what do you want, what do you want?
Okay slash marker, call that Okin2, I'll do one more set man, I'm having a good, it
could use a little visual flare, I'm not gonna lie to you, but I do think it is
pretty fun.
Start with a wildfire, day 3 gain a burn slot.
Okay let's build our whole run around burn then.
When you level up, permanently gain one multicast.
It does seem like getting that immediately could be incredible.
clutch block, clutch block on that one. I can't be mad at you for that. This could be a book build.
A little bit of heal just to keep us alive.
No, man. Otter guy, you can't be running refined spear, man. You can't be running two refined spears.
Wait, maybe you actually can now? Maybe you actually can and you're gonna dominate me?
All right buddy, we can just go on 2x from now until the end of time, but I know how
this build is going to work anyway, literally this run could be six minutes long I think.
On trigger permanently gain one damage, on trigger permanently gain one shield, this
is the play, we literally just try to fill our board but like we don't have enough
space for anything else. These books don't matter to me. Although 31 serve a self or eight.
We have a burn synergy I leave. Although wait, wait, wait, can I go back because there was
a flare in there.
Fight. Can I can I go on speed eight because I think we lose this one too. In fact, I
Using region zero damage.
Congratulations, you managed to fill your whole board. Congrats.
Um, I literally want income.
Because I want to level up as much as possible.
Spend 60 gold.
we buy a lightning sword that heals us put our lowest cool-down item in this slot
you also heal us okay and then from now on
maybe we just want you to have six burn from now on we spend all of our XP on
all of our money on leveling
you forgot about leveling no bro we have to fill our fucking borders don't you
watch Hathu
easy as one of my life it's a weapon buff potion oh my god give it plus two burn the
book goes into the burn slot I give it plus two burn and now it's multicast
city bro one random lesser potion per unit debuff this has I don't know what
any of that shit means to be honest with you.
Level me, now you have multi-cast with burn.
Level up's gonna cost us 56.
I don't give a damn.
Literally your HP's going down and mine's not.
Literally neither of our HP is going down.
Nothing here immediately jumps out of me.
Boom, you level up.
Casa 60 to level up.
I don't think so, Tim.
More... oh, you're bleed, not a burn.
Goblet is a good player.
You're not wrong about Goblet.
Let's roll one more time. It just felt right. Burn ticks 25% faster, shock triggers twice.
Wait, wait. Burn ticks 25% is is burn ticking faster? Good. I think you go. This is a crazy
play but hear me out here. You also sell that. You can't buy both of them anyway.
whoops y'all my bad aha ah ah I'm done it again y'all well give me a fuck-ass
club and then freeze the shop sorry to say firebeast ice kid
Stop gritting me!
Shop containing 7 potions.
It's the best day of my life.
Plus three heel, 10% crit chance, permanently increased shock damage, frosty tag, 25% I'm
buying the whole shop.
First off you buy these two.
Money's on sale.
Then crit chance, crit chance, plus three heel on the multicastler.
You might as well be frosty.
I don't know.
synergy out of it and honestly man fuck you you might as well they won't let me
do it you mean use oh it's to all shock damage okay fair enough man
can't afford it y'all gone done it again okay but that was that was big we
have more heals as a result we have more crits as a result surely crit applies
twice as much burn. Plus it literally worked anyway.
We buy this. Wait, we level? We buy this when you level up permanent- oh! Let me
just let me just see what we got whenever a frosty item triggers permanently
gain crit chance not good enough I'm afraid most common item is crystal if
you have three daggers get four bonus multi-casts I should have put another
book on me this book is frosty yeah but I don't care about the dagger doing
damage. Yeah, this one's going fast, man. I would love 2500 max HP. That that seems
like it will, it will benefit me. You're definitely gone. You can definitely come out here. We
need to level. That's essential. We can't get one more level so we roll a little bit.
It's not permanent so I don't care.
I roll again.
That's what I fucking want to see.
When you level up permanently gain plus 2 multicast, now we're fucking talking.
We want this.
Freeze it up.
What's in the chest, my lord?
Oh yeah.
Right, untriggered, it's start of combat effects.
Untriggered, permanently game 50 max health, buddy.
You never know.
Could come in handy.
Revolver, Grave Beetles album, not my favorite, not my favorite, but a Grave Beetles album
nonetheless.
Increase your luck reduce cooldowns reduce all the cooldowns by 0.3 seconds absolutely enormous
do we see anything we like in the shop no we level up for a multicast leave the
show don't even think about it bro of course all these common palette and
items is as good as it gets you'd be naive to think otherwise
Mont. You literally froze the shop. I'm literally stupid, okay?
Burn ticks fifty percent faster. On trigger, adjacent items get bonus damage equal to their
crit chance. Now wait a second. Wait a second. On trigger, gain an iron stack per sword.
Frosty Book, whenever an item crits, permanently gain 2 damage.
Crease your critical damage.
I don't care if it is a book.
I'm not sure if you have additional items, bonus damage, you go to their crit chance.
Obviously crazy for multicast, basically doubles your damage.
Surely the paladin's hammer or the light blade are like completely irrelevant.
Level up for 56 you gotta be flicking me man.
We need a moon book.
On trigger trigger your other frosty items hang on freeze me.
I'm going whistleblower. I'm in trouble, y'all.
Please? My fucking shit went off. Let's go.
All your items get 15 damage or you get lucky rolls? 15 damage.
Does that sound from the game? Yeah, yeah, that was my war horn.
That was my warhorn popping off.
Dude, this Bulwark can't be that good anymore.
I mean, hey, ah, maybe it's the Lightblade that isn't that good anymore, 50 heal.
One trigger, trigger your other frosty items, kind of goes insane.
I guess you haven't raised a good point, 50 max HP doesn't really matter anymore.
This matters.
Marshall matters.
What the fuck is this? It's fucking forged, man. No kidding. Good lord. One more book
would be big. Oh, to get to a level 2 lunar codex? I can't disagree. Can't disagree.
A shield is fucking frozen at the start of battle, that's hardly fair.
Wait, your build doesn't do anything though?
Tragic.
If you only have unique item types, give your items plus 5 damage.
Trigger adjacent shields, we care not.
Rooting shield could be pretty good, don't get me wrong.
It is interesting to take a lost fragment.
Like this is useless.
To take a lost fragment and make,
No, you're right.
To make a frozen orb go twice, and then trigger like a x27 multicast definitely seems like
the fucking play, man.
You can also go.
Although your burn ticking faster is good for our damage, I can't deny it.
You're not a crystal, that's crazy man.
Trigger a holy item to the left, I think we leave this shop.
The fuck is this man?
I have no idea what happened.
have no idea what happened honestly give me the XP so it's cheaper for us to level
give me the chest on trigger trigger adjacent shields we care not we care
not sell it level me level me again 32 gold that's enough to do some damage
What the hell is this?
Sell your shield, give your multicast book some shock, and then put another book out there.
You're done, buddy.
I'm making the sounds.
I'm making the sounds for once.
I'm making the sounds.
me. Two potions. Keep the shop frozen. You're done, Orem. Maybe. I don't know.
yes. No.
Okay, plus 52 man. I'll be back in ranked.
You sold the potions. That's how you use them. The game's available for 8 bucks on Steam.
Okay, we're starting with Refined Spear.
Start of combat.
Permanently gain plus 2 damage per unique bow and this beast has multicast?
Bro, okay, well we'll base the entire run on our initial starting synergy, man.
It's that simple.
Yeah.
Yeah, sounds good.
This one might be tight man.
Stop with the burn.
You're right, we can go 2x.
is one of my life bows per unique bow after a pre unique bow untrigger permanently gain
one shield well honestly we have 55 gold fill your board a wise man once said
quality over quantity over quality that might have accidentally quoted Stalin
and called him a wise man. My bad y'all. Just trying to stream video games.
Victory! I'll take the early max HP. More unique bows please. 60 gold, start of combat, apply
I find a bleed, sell this piece of garbage and then give me two of the devils pitchfork
and then we can finally start to play on the next round.
Bro, it doesn't look like you have any items.
All right.
A weapon buff, a value potion, a weapon loot, or buff weapons.
I'll take plus six damage.
We got a weapon spam right now.
Okay, unique bows are valuable.
What is this?
On trigger, permanently ganked up, right, right, right, but we have a poison slot
what we want on our fastest multicaster.
This is big man, this is big.
You're done.
That's a unique bow.
This is a regular bow, but that's okay, we can level.
That's two unique bows.
I can't afford it.
That's two unique bows.
3.9 seconds, three seconds, but no multicast.
You're more of a frosty build,
but it's okay because you're building
the war bow regardless.
And I'd like to afford you...
You know what?
It's called Opportunity Cost, sweetheart.
I don't think you're supposed to be in this slot.
Oh wait, you do go every 1.8 seconds.
Maybe you are supposed to be in this slot.
You got me, kid.
An amethyst bow, which we already have, which is good.
level up for eight amethyst bow level up dump the common bow put a second amethyst
bow run it back don't sweat that one bro was colored coordinated I've interrogated
every nook and cranny I mean it's still amazing before they couldn't stand me
XP could go crazy.
I think I would love to gain 16 XP and gain 16 more every single day.
I think I would love the level of my fucking bow, bro.
And triple multicast. I like you gaining a shield permanently though.
And the chest with a bow in it!
and we level for the max HP holy shit we got to kill this dude before you oh my
god he's got 5000 max HP already fuck that dragon orb man yeah we're not getting
there on a long enough time scale we get there but obviously you're just undefeatable with
6000 HP that early roll how much to level 36 we level bro and then we roll we're looking
number better bows permanently give flame item to the right plus two burn goes every
five seconds it's tough to argue better shield is it better though I don't know the bulwark
shield's doing some work man 64 to level up I don't think the poison slot is for
the shield man I know that this is the slot I'm just saying this does 53 shield
every two seconds this does 25 every 2.6 yeah you start with a hundred but
Holy cow man!
I guess this is a rolling situation.
Literally vindicated immediately by the way.
Okay freeze it up, it's simple. We'll just win this next one.
Ah shit, they're color coordinated.
I think they got me. The poison's scaling too fast.
I got some green on me.
We don't need more lives.
Now I like you there.
I like what? Level ups for fo- oh, an epic bow?
I do like a time panda, man. I ain't got no idea.
Is our shield too ass?
You actually, our cold shot is too ass.
Our cold shot is horrible.
I'll sacrifice a little scaling on the war bow in order to do that and then level
up and then roll once moonbow with a crazy multicast freeze it up oh shit level 2 dagger
and a book with the weapon type on it we're in tight on this one oh my god we fucking
one. Start of combat, freeze all enemy items for two seconds. And then we just kill them
within two seconds. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure the war bow is where we want
be long-term men. Like adding more bows doesn't seem like the move. Doesn't seem like the move.
Sorry, does that say start of combat permanently gain plus 3 multicast?
I can't run shieldless though, that's just, that's nonsensical.
Well, let's be fucking for real, bro.
Like none of this shit matters.
Shield does nothing, it gives us 60 fuck, okay,
it does nothing.
Now that I actually look at the number, you're right,
it does nothing.
You're gonna have four multicasts every five seconds.
I think after one fight you definitely go there.
Oh fuck.
Start of combat permanently gain plus 4 multicast?
It's important for us to stack the poison too.
I think we made the right call here for now.
I don't really know what's going on.
I think we win though.
I'm a simple man, I see no bows.
Poison stacks no matter what.
Of course.
What was I thinking?
the shop, fight tree branch, okay seven multi-cast plus a little bit of poison if
we could buff that poison. The honey there's a big storm coming.
His cleanse is pissing me off but he also forgot, never mind I was gonna say
forgot how to do damage but he killed me. 16 XP in the epic chest please and then a
bishop. Definitely more damage man. Also has more max HP alongside it. Oh! On trigger trigger
trigger another bow? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, obviously that's what
we want. But like, we just want the batwing to go with it. We want to sell all of our
other bows so that this only triggers the batwing. But then I don't know if I'm going
to be able to do that in a timely fashion. So what's the worst bow? I mean burn that
goes to level one burn that goes twice can definitely go and then this would come
out here
and it does trigger twice which would then trigger this twice you are a shield
you kind of suck as far as shields go but that's the it's a different it's
a different world now it's a different world now
Okay, the Doom Guide is just, it's funny, but it ain't what we're going for.
Wait, start of combat affects trigger and additional time.
Literally functional for us.
Whenever you gain shield, deal 50 damage.
And you're actually just a good shield.
Then level, roll.
Somebody tell me what it means to only have unique bows.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No dupes.
Oh, no dupes.
On trigger, if you only have unique bows,
trigger your other bows three times.
You have to freeze for now.
I don't have the income to actually purchase it.
We want it like this,
because when this goes off,
it'll do times 14 multicast on this.
Now the one thing you need to know,
sell a shield, yeah but selling a shield
doesn't give us enough to buy it, man.
No, man, what are you talking about?
Oh, you lose the, oh, you're right, I lose the poison.
That's why you never listen to chat until you,
if you're going to listen to chat,
you start by listening to chat, then you say chat,
here's why I'm listening to you,
and then the actual smart people in chat go,
wait, this is what we should do, okay.
You could just move the pendant instead.
That's smart, okay, because then this goes off
two times and okay yeah yeah okay fantastic better better closer warmer now
you one thing you should know is that it doesn't matter because inevitably once
you you're like I'm one win away from my build popping off that's when you lose
tragic it seems tragic that with this number of triggers we couldn't get the
win but didn't sell shield I'm gonna ban you from my chat if we sold the shield we
didn't have enough to purchase the dragon bow if we sold the shield we still
didn't have enough money to purchase the dragon bow you have been removed from
the chat rank me again and start me up oh shields then we don't have a full
board that's simply idiotic okay you start with a refined spear
Arcane cleaver for debuffs early seems insane man.
Kind of a shitty multicast.
They give anything just having like some form of shielding might hit the spot.
Kuchiman starting with a damn goblet.
Didn't even have to worry about it.
Games kind of peak, I'm afraid, this guy.
I've never heard of sap the name I've not heard for a long time let's put it that way
40 gold when you apply a debuff gain bonus damage okay welcome to the board we should
should spend 15 gold on something?
I mean, I guess we should spend it on an item that could upgrade and get us an inventory spot.
Holy fuck, man.
How'd you get an epic Executioner's Axe already?
How'd that- that's not fair! How did that happen, man?
STOP CRITTING ME!!!
Always scalar max HP. Okay, I'll take the level up.
On first two triggers permanently gain plus one poison.
Wait, though. End of chest?
When another item heals trigger this.
I'm trigger permanently gain a shield on trigger cleanse debuffs
I'm gonna take the one that sells for the most amount of money
What the fuck am I doing
And another item heals trigger this nothing I have heals so you actually suck
I'm first two triggers game poison that that I think I like
And we have anything that gets a buff via poison the answer is no
Our shield can go back at least we have some damage out there, but I think you're kind of ass man
Hailstorm 666
Good night, y'all.
Or wait!
Good morning, y'all.
Well, full board just beat the empty board, so you can put that heuristic in your pipe
and smoke it.
Gain shield and buff weapon.
I don't really want a multicast on my shield, to be honest with you.
plus 8 damage and 30% crit chance or start each fight with 10% max HP as shield.
Poison Critting actually could be valuable, but probably for like winning rounds, having
max HP or having shield makes more sense.
Fuck it bro, it's something.
We're going to be like permanently behind on level as a result of our actions though.
Trigger game bonus heal.
I don't need this to trigger though.
Give the mace below multicast.
Holy shi- That's not a mace!
What is a staff?
It's a staff.
Okay bro, whatever you say.
They're literally trolling.
Give adjacent items plus 5% permanently.
Yeah man.
Yeah.
I'm going in on that early.
Bunch of axes.
Surely my delicately constructed magical build can be bored full of axes, right?
Wait, it actually did.
Now let's think about this.
We're not frosty. We're not healing.
We don't really care about a book going off.
You're too late, because I had you on level one and didn't win.
Not your fault.
You know what we do? We level up, roll an elven shield that poisons.
No! Now you're speaking my language.
Now you are speaking my language.
You do get some bonus damage. You're kind of,
Wait, but you do poison. Wait, but you fucking get fucked, buddy.
Give me a huge crit chance on this. Freeze me up. Leave the shop. We go again.
Does crit on shield do anything? Yeah, bro. Double shield.
Please. Surely the poison mods here.
Instant XP, scaling XP, items on sale, cheaper re-rolls, I mean these are probably all relevant, don't get me wrong, but
We got a great build for for growing slow, man
I'm trigger permanently gain shield. No, I need some shit that poisons
Rolemates? Oh fuck, this changes everything
Freeze me? This is good, this is gonna work!
Rose got the damn Necronomicon and so that's the item you should be talking about look at that thing it's huge
Get in there Lewis oh my god it fucking worked
I don't know if we won because he didn't get a crit or something like it because I've got the game on 2x feed
It's all going way too fucking fast, but
You already have 40% crit chance this is incredible
Level up for four? Way to chest!
Pick the one that sells for the most?
Your cams blocking their item?
Not bad y'all.
Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
another chest. Start of combat deal 250 damage. Just gonna be honest with you I
think that clears this axe. As long as we're at relatively low levels of HP
you like right now come on man kill him
six lives I want the extra lives I'm gonna get greedy on this one
x poisons yeah for two I do think you don't need to level up you need to go
you got to go for the right reason
Could just be this, man.
Holy shit.
Well, they got dark necklace, so I feel like we might be in a world of hurt here.
get their items I feel like we might be absolutely fucked. On the bright side I
did just take two lives back. Crit check my lord. You raised a good point.
Come flado. Copy item. Upgrade item. We don't have anything two star that goes to
three star okay bro what's nightquill your start of combat effects trigger twice
not good enough man first item permanently give the item to the right a
random debuff that's good start of combat game five bonus multicast start of
combat game two random dark items I don't know man I mean we're not we're not
really a bleeder is the thing. It's got to be a good book in here. Holy shit. Start of
combat permanently gain one multicast? That's crazy. And then what about an item we can
use on trigger permanently gain plus one poison per poison item I mean there is
also when another item applies bleed trigger this this can't get bleed and
then we have start of combat bleed item that goes really fast that gains plus
five bonus multicasts so there's we're having a little bit of a fight between
between like synergy and best in class, man.
Permanently game plus one poison per poison item.
I presently have two poison items every time.
I mean I guess they're gonna go all in on poison.
Or are we, if Chet says instead, go to something else, maybe?
And then we definitely want it to crit.
We also want you out of here.
There's gotta be a reason for it.
Give the Elven item above plus one multicast permanently.
You're already at a 90%.
No, we want untrigger permanently gain.
I think to survive, we want you to have extra multicast permanently.
I don't know if we're gonna live like the the fight might be over before 13 seconds is done
Although they look like they're like a cleansing build so we might actually be able to farm some multicast out of this I don't know
We will obviously be killed and then be on lethal
And then level up and roll and not be able to afford anything
okay bro we ball hard stock Harold
what the hell is happening guys something went wrong my build doesn't do
anything
Give me that epic chest, I need it.
Give me as much max HP as possible.
Hey, what the fuck?
We don't give a fuck about damage.
Give me the luck.
Even though what luck does, but I want it.
We have anything that, I guess, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Electric shock.
plus one shock, plus one shock, plus three shock, plus three shock, plus three shock.
I'm all in.
Use to permanently increase shock damage.
Use, yeah.
See?
Don't sell.
Use.
Plus 20 shock damage.
And then, I don't even know what Shocking does, but obviously it's over for them.
And we're gonna get such insane multicast out of this because the fight is gonna never end!
More?
Oh my god, we were like, we won?
We will we won somehow?
Insofar as and such as okay level up her four is again me
Lucky roll shop contains a mirror elixir use on an item to gain a plain copy of it
Certainly we want to
Well, honestly this beast can get out of here and this beast can get out of here
Like, you don't do anything at this point.
We do have 220% crit chance.
If we copy the shield, does it keep its effects?
One star not evolved.
Okay, in that case, I'd much rather copy the ring, but obviously we need this.
copy this and then you are elven.
Well you don't do anything so you can obviously go and then copy this beast.
Double elven strats, opon elven style. Shop contains only items you own and yet
yet it doesn't have the item that I need. After all that it doesn't have the
item I need. Kind of devastating. Yeah, yeah Orbin the Rinn makes a lot more sense.
You're right about that one. Oh shit, a hundred guys were dead. This thing is a
155 multi-cast. Yeah, that'll do it. But I can't stop winning. Here, I'm gonna do one
One more rubber for skeptical pee, I'll be right back.
You guys want to be honest something with this sitting down to pee thing.
It does take like an extra 15 seconds or something, but then you don't have to think
about where you're aiming at all, man.
You might be, I'm not trying to be performative, you might be honest something.
Okay, you simply buy best item available.
Start of combat permanently gains 7 damage, but you do 45 damage every 5 seconds.
It's horrendous, man.
Ruby knife applying some bleed.
I mean, we're running the poison back immediately.
It seems like you're just running the poison back immediately, man.
Ruby knife, though.
I guess Bleed is not, Bleed doesn't decay.
When obtained, also gain XP.
This is like buying a cow and selling it for milk.
You raise a good point.
Seven damage, three seconds with a multicast.
Twilight's edge is literally better.
How do you say I hate this first shot?
I think I like this because Bleed is progressive and then with 25 gold, let's just buy
a sword that already does a decent amount of damage to start with but then
frees the shop because I think I do want to buy a moon knife. I mean just looking
at the numbers here we should destroy you right?
right?
Nothing in the heal slot?
I fucked up.
Ah shit.
For some reason I thought I wouldn't show up until turn 4.
We still win anyway.
Bro hates using your slots, it's crazy.
Literally the dev wishes you would stop typing.
You ever think about that?
That's gotta be crazy to hear.
Okay.
I think we definitely want the XP.
You go off every 2.2 seconds, so you go there, and then with 15, fuck it bro, so what we buy nothing.
You have a crit chance, I'm gonna buy you and roll the dice.
Plus you have a higher crit chance, oh shit.
And, your passive, your healing can crit for 2x, what the fuck is this man?
I'm fighting, so damn yugioh board or something.
What am I supposed to do about that?
Silver two, huh?
Okay.
Whatever you say, buddy.
Silver two.
Honestly, give me some income on this.
When you level up, permanently gain multicast, I'd be an interesting sort of vibe, I'm not
in love with everything else in the shop.
When you buy it, leveling up costs 12, man, fuck you, dude.
You send it regardless.
Now puppy scares me.
Multi is a serious discord kitten username and I will not elaborate further.
Multi Cast Heal Sire?
It needs more sauce first, because we already have Multi Cast on the regular bow.
As expected, as expected versus Puppy.
shield or a weapon buff value potion can be traded for any item in the shop wait
that could be huge man moon dagger is insane
literally save your money grab the moon dagger which also leveled us up to give
us multicast pop it out here level up for 44 even more multicast you go every
three seconds you got every 3.3 you got more multicast leave shop take your free
re-roll next time trigger and that's it that's a serious heel man sell your sword
it might be the only thing I have it does damage I'm gonna be honest with you
this person is named after a Pokemon and they're a patreon sub there's no
chance we make it through this one? Get it twisted? What's in a name? Well, good thing
they called it a rose instead of a far otherwise you wouldn't be getting the
bouquet of them for your anniversary. Let's just put it that way. You're right,
2x speed. Never mind, we mug you. Get it twisted? One thing you need to know
about video games, the better you are at them, the worse you are at them.
Leveling up costs us 48. I think we'd be a fool not to try it.
Don't really care about you. Don't really care about you.
Why do we have a plain bow? Because it's like day four, bro.
Wait, now... now there's a certain Junaise Qua here.
You sell for 8, which is pissing me off.
You sell for 15, which is a little bit better.
15 allows us to get to 50 on trigger, cleanse 20% of your debuffs.
You will pl- okay, I love this.
And then freezing this to hopefully buy this soon, too.
I don't really know what my build does now that I think about it.
I guess it's ideally supposed to outheal the enemy.
I don't know where my damage is coming from, though.
I guess my damage is coming from my healing books.
The blood was all your damage?
OK, then why did I win?
Business secrets of the pharaoh's ass.
Um, buy it? Sell it. We don't care about it leveling up at all at this point. And this is
another sell it buy it situation. And these actually apply some debuffs.
I love it.
And then probably sell your regular bow as soon as possible as well.
I have no idea why it's doing so well
No idea what what's causing this to pop off so nicely
It is XP is helping there's no doubt about that
Bro fuck it double up on it
I don't even want to know what this person's username was
Holy shit, I have like 4x their max HP, bro.
I mean, just give me even more, I suppose.
Start of combat, we don't care. This could be big though.
On trigger-trigger start of combat, we have no start of combat that we care about.
when another item applies bleed oh you don't apply bleed oh that would have been nice
every 10 triggers of item below gain bonus bleed and bonus shock hey wait whoa okay hang on
it only takes this going off like twice to trigger 10 times right
12 times really and then we get this and this
And then when you go off, you go off, but you going off and you going out doesn't really
matter that much?
Although bonus, I think it'll help.
And also, let's be so fucking for real, you're literally like useless.
I think I can buy you and put you here.
We don't need you to be out there yet.
And instead, we could level up for an extra multicast and freeze you.
What?
Okay you have a 7x multicaster that is scary.
And you have a lot of max HP which is scary as well.
I am applying like 10 of every debuff to you constantly, which seems pretty good.
Haunt.
Upgrade and epic. Wait, we have epics, man.
Slot buffs.
I think they can both be great.
I mean, this basically just gives us one extra shield, but you know what that does?
that buys us spate oh but then it's gonna I don't know man that's weird get
fucking random slot buffs nah man not on up not on up I'm willing to do it and
then we'll build up this one from base principles
It's not permanent, huh?
Level up for 48.
Damn, we're fucking going crazy on this one, though.
Sword is shit?
You steam a mean hand.
I think you're right on that one.
Dave's not here, man.
Now we're talking.
and Chong reference. Well yeah it's an auto battler all right because I have
absolutely no idea why I'm doing so well. But we are. You're a crystal, you are a crystal item.
If you applied bleed, could cut you.
You applied bleed to make the shark king go off a little bit faster.
And then we go next.
It wouldn't be an auto-vaddler if my best runs weren't my most incoherent and my worst
runs weren't my most synergistic.
Just science man.
Holy shit, we're on nine wins.
Uh, yeah, sure, I don't know.
20,000 max HP seems pretty fucking good.
I'm literally just gonna level up twice.
Damn, dude, it's that easy.
Well, I would definitely say let's go to Endless Mode, because this is the first run where it
actually seems viable.
I mean, call me crazy.
Just take your level up again, man.
Is this all stream?
No, I don't know what we're gonna play next,
but it's gonna be something a little different.
This is good.
It's just like backpack battles.
Yeah, except your time in the shop is like 30 seconds
instead of 117 minutes trying to figure out
how to fit everything in your fucking backpack.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm just gonna level up again.
Kyle lives, oh shit, the void stinger.
Every two seconds does 900 damage.
This will be a real test.
Alright, Kyle.
Kyle, you got a pretty good run there.
I ain't gonna lie to you.
level up real quick and then level that up every 10 triggers of the item below
four bonus bleed four bonus shock and then and freeze it and the chest holy
shit I literally don't even care just take it and sell it and then don't sell
this don't sell this just be patient 23,000 max HP look at what they have to
do to mimic even a problem I'm dead guys they got a pretty thing good thing
go in there with the shard fang. But now we got a level 2 version of this, Andy. And
oh, that's insane! This is a roll me situation because we're about to be unlethal. We don't
care. We care a lot. Holy fuck, every time we apply bleed trigger this twice. Then you
Get another chest.
Holy shit, and then you get another chest?
You absolutely level up.
Alright, now come on.
We fought some fucking-
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
Hehehehe.
How is yours that was better than mine?
What the fuck, man?
Bring me back with an epic chest Hey, I'm inclined to say it.
Fuck endless mode forever, maybe.
Um, sell it bro!
I'm trying to sell it outside of the shop.
Like an absolute fool.
Anything we already have?
Any legendary items?
stumble upon a treasure vault when sold gain two goblets used to gain plus 10
income well that's a given
do you have anything I like I don't believe so what the fuck is this use on
a two star to upgrade to a three star? Holy shit. That's incredible. Drag Spears here
to consume them and permanently gain their damage and crit?
Imagine?
Alright, I mean this is a case to be made, but I think we need something better.
No, not the Shark King.
Come on man, come on, not a fucking candle, that's the most dangerous item in any AUTOBATHER
EVER MADE!
Alright, it's still pretty good though.
All right, slash marker me, that's, um, that's Oaken Tower.
The multiplicative scaling gets a little crazy for sure.
Um, but I mean, we are kind of like, I mean, we're bronze one, bro, we're kind of popping
off.
Fun game, though.
Hard to balance an auto-battler, man.
the thing is soon as you put like multipliers in it I mean you get two
multipliers you multiple you multiply a multiple by a multiple you got an
exponent kid at that point you got a fucking exponent
that's a problem that's a big fucking problem
Holy shit, I have sparkling water right next to me.
What a dream come true.
Doesn't the store page literally mention it as a feature?
Oh, I guess if the immutable truth of the store page mentions it, then I can't even
remark upon it as a balancing issue.
Now that I realize it's written in the sacred text, I apologize for bringing it
up.
I didn't realize it was an objectively good thing because it's written on the page where they try to sell you the game.
You did not see me in Mount Vernon last weekend, don't put that evil on me.
You might, where did you see me last weekend?
One weekend ago, let me think about this.
Not too many places if I'm being honest with you.
I mean, it sounds like a joke, but I was literally on Saturday.
I was at a hair stylist for like an hour and a half waiting for my wife and daughter to
get their hair cut.
Kind of ironic, I suppose, but I was there.
That's true.
I was in the West End a little bit.
I was in the West End buying seven of the same shirt at Muji.
Muji my goat.
It's pretty nice.
I was hoping they had a CD player, though,
that I could mount on my wall.
They did not.
Also, I fucked up.
I should have bought a laundry hamper there.
Bubble in the throat, my bad.
They got those button up shirts that don't have a collar.
It's called a Henley, bro.
It's called a Henley, just so you know.
Go back, CD player.
Yeah, how else am I gonna play
this that's early Yamashita stuff, bro?
Spotify, Kate Bush mode, your name is too keynote to be this ignorant.
Can I say something?
Justin, I know you might be in the chat.
Don't take this the wrong way.
I think it might be time to bring back.
I think it might be time to skism Unk CS, Unk CS into two Unk CSs, a low ELO Unk CS and
a high ELO Unk CS, because I've been feeling the CS itch, but I really can't be streaming
five hours getting my fucking ass beat by people with like 11,000 ELO.
like a Me Dan Kate squad, a Me Dan and Kate squad, with Corey kind of as the the
unke that can, the, the, the do elow, unke that can play high or low.
You know what I'm saying?
Kind of like the biracial Corey.
He could join us in low Elo, he could join us in high Elo, or join them in high Elo.
Corey's by, it's not for me to say.
Well, can I say something though?
Let me go to his letterbox.
With God as my witness, I don't think I've ever seen this motherfucker.
Give a movie five stars.
Films, rating, five stars.
Okay, he's given like 30 movies, five stars.
Iron Man 2?
Okay, Corey, I'm not trying to put you on.
No, I genuinely didn't go here to put you on the spot
for what movies you gave five stars.
But Iron Man 2 being five stars is kind of insane.
Have we done, okay.
There's some in here I 100% agree with.
I mean, adaptation, absolutely, man.
Gremlins, Ghostbusters, Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Back to the Future, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Is this how I find out my friend Corey is Gen X, man?
Corey might be Gen X, dude.
And the Empire strikes back now. He's chill because he gave the good the bad and the ugly five stars to
Also, I record he's a real one because he gave American Beauty five stars. I think that movie is really good now obviously, you know
Kevin Spacey not a good guy the movies good
Do the voice what's what's my oh, you mean the Frank Underwood he does talk to the camera in that movie, too
He's kind of like a so the liquid merchant
Like a bro should we play commas CS?
I mean, it's calm, calmness, C.S., or slay the spire, man.
Cash is out.
I literally just want to play dust.
Tomodachi flushed.
What do you want from me, motherfuckers?
We've played like 100 hours in the last two weeks and nothing happens.
I've tried my best to engineer drama on the island, nothing happens.
I think the game's great.
I just wish Nintendo put a little gameplay in it, man.
I push the dolls together and then people tell you gotta take them apart, but if you
and take them apart, you're just standing there watching them do nothing.
I'm loading up CES as we speak.
Oh shit, is this way too loud?
Not chill?
Okay.
And now apparently some random plus one in my wedding spent the whole time pitching Herbalife
to everybody.
What are your thoughts on this?
Bro, this on a random plus one is your brother's girlfriend.
That's what they do.
That's a human being right there.
Did you capture this shit again?
They use broom sweepers.
do I use broom sweeper source for this?
Yes I do.
Yes I do, how about that?
Jay on NL stream for CS would be fire.
It would not be fire and I love Jay,
but it would not be fire and the reason it would not
be fire is because my good friend Jay is too good at CS.
We need we need some serious fucking noobs
When we play CS, okay, I
Need some because like you see thank you for saying Jay. They don't want the heat. Thank you for saying that
Part of it is like I mean trust me bro because I've taken some tennis lessons in my day
What's the difference between a good tennis lesson and a bad tennis lesson?
teammates at your level. Tell me why I'm in the intermediate class, and I'm playing with
people that can't get the ball over the net. They've got their strings turned up to the
sky, launching the ball into the fucking moon every single time they hit it. Bro, why did
you sign up for the intermediate class? You're not even planting your feet and rotating
your hips, bro. You're all arm. You're all arm. But on the same side, tell me
I'm now going 1v1 in intermediate tennis with somebody who nails the first serve every fucking time you fucking liar
You're in the wrong class bro
Wait Corey's
6,015
Elo in premiere. I think Corey can join low rank
Chiblee is 8,448, but I think the problem is that he's supposed to be 12,000, but he just kept losing
on stream. He's like a 12,000 elo player that has like a minus 4,000 ping.
I'm queuing by the way, it just takes a minute.
Are people going to be mad at me for being in Premiere with no comms?
Probably, right?
No, but it's not going to matter because I'm going to top frag and they're going to
be like, that's awesome.
Just do your callouts.
All paying.
I would now.
Rags bar and grill, you raise an interesting point.
I was thinking about maybe the new meta for Tomodachi life is literally just running it
in like an ant farm in the corner and having it on at all times.
And then we just tap in and make it the main window when something interesting happens.
Could be interesting. So never, I mean, I love Tomodachi life, but I am kind of,
I'm a little pressed on the fact that like anytime there's any drama, they go,
Hmm. It's a sunny day. I feel good now.
Let's roll.
It's a me off.
Alright, who's on my team? Me and Playa.
Okay.
Guys, we're back with CS2. I'm jonesing.
Please don't tell my friends who are good at the game.
That I...
This is what I want to ban.
Please don't tell my friends that are good at the game that I need to play solo because I need to play people that are at my level.
Listen, it's understandable. Just in that stream where we played like five hours, I think we won one match.
And the match that we won, we had to come back from like seven rounds down.
But the other four hours and 40 minutes was losing. It might have, it broke me in a serious way.
Okay, where are we starting y'all? CTT, I don't care. I'm the guy with the gun.
Let's roll on.
That's two.
Why does it say competitive?
Why does it say it should be premier?
Why does it say competitive?
Okay, we run it, we see how cool they are.
I got to remember how to play the game.
Librarian ban all Counter-Strike players in chat.
I'm so tired of hearing play cash.
been four seconds. Type A about gameplay mechanics is one thing. Type A about like which mode
you should play is a new kind of degeneracy. Okay, I cover long. I cover long and I blow
them up with a high explosive grenade right off the bat.
End of Molly.
Move, move, move.
You're literally slowing me down.
What the fuck he bought one too?
There's one there!
Yeah, nice try, bud.
I saw blood.
There's one on the fucking door, man.
Now we pull back.
Look at the screen. Don't look at chat. Look at the screen. Don't look at chat. Look at the screen.
Don't run out of ammo. Oh shit bombs on site y'all
I'm only got eight bullets left. I got to be careful. Can I have this clip?
Fuck motherfucker. I got to grab his pistol
Where did his gun go bro, where did his gun go?
Where the fuck is his gun?
I gotta make a move
Not my best round y'all
What happened to his gun if I had his gun that's a different story
I have no sound
There's no sound in the game anymore
Hello, can you still hear me?
Go to settings and change the input device back.
Oh my God, they broke the game by adding cash?
Yes, it's a bug right now.
Fuck it, bro. We play better, Def.
Okay, give me a second here.
They broke the sound adding a new map.
But the thing is, they have a very flat management structure, which is good.
You can hear now, presumably.
Okay.
Now you can't, but that's to be expected.
Nope, because as soon as I have tabbed back in, it has now...
Oh, no, no, no, they're just being quiet. Okay, everything's fine.
quiet okay everything's fine no no it's I don't know no it okay it's working there's
no there's no footsteps but there's just gun sounds
there's no beeping maybe maybe because nobody's planted the bomb okay now
everything's fine
is the deco always been this long?
holy shit he's a god, he's a god
okay
Go back. Actually my damage is not too bad.
Now you go.
50 damage. Blue, get it together, bro.
Now it's over.
Look at this shit right here.
You gonna pull a knife today?
Gambling's bad.
That being said...
I'll say I got to take my angle.
Kate was like, she got interested in scratch tickets.
She's never used a scratch ticket before.
So we were at lunch on Sunday and she was like,
I'm going to look up which ones have like the best odds.
So she looked it up and then after we went to the convenience store,
she's like, I want to try it out.
What a smoke, by the way.
She's like, I want to try it out.
We got up to the cash register and she's like,
I didn't bring my wallet.
So I bought three scratch cards for her.
It came to $15.
She won $20.
And then she's walking around talking like,
I turned $15 into $20.
What are you talking about?
You did even better.
You turned $0 into $20.
The EV is off the charts, man!
Yeah, but y'all are married?
That's true. I didn't think about it that way.
So really, we both turned seven and a half dollars into ten dollars each.
What the fuck?
They're fucking out here, bro.
We got mine, got mine!
And we got an assist, that was huge.
Damn, bro, still got the damn MP7 too.
This view model is taking me out.
it's working and I'm getting so many assists. Now he's valid for that one.
This gun model is kind of hurting my eyes though.
MP7's cracked, kind of a cheap rifle right now. I don't even think I have it on
my loadout because I don't think I have a skin for it man.
I
Was in spawn disrespectful wait wait wait we could go third here
Not quite
5800 we had two three two not bad not bad
Imagine if we could rock a jump now. Should we load up TFC and do some concussion jumps on 2-4 bro
It's literally free kills because everybody else just does sniper duels on the veranda
Okay, you got to check your corners
W game sense.
We got lower tons on these beasts.
You'd you know he's up there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there, right there.
Take a little souvenir for the road.
McDavid of CS? Yo did you see Edmonton last night though?
quite a game
I saw a bit of it because I was hoping to see the highlights of Montreal vs Tampa
the series that I actually want to watch but it wasn't
that's that one they take two days of travel now
because the NHL has gone soft
Okay, fire this bro.
Literally saw him get lit on fire.
My bad, y'all, don't turn your back to the enemy.
Thoughts on the wild winning?
It literally doesn't even matter,
Quinn Hughes will experience nothing but misery
in his life.
Even if they win this round, which they won't,
he's gonna, he's cruising for a bruise,
and let's put it that way.
guys I literally got if you had killed him I would have gotten three assists
there so you really let me down it is 41 though I think we're chilling that was
visceral dude I think because the gun is in your chest it makes it feel that much
worse when you get killed it's like someone grabbed your brain and like
pulled it through the back of your head.
Dude, I'm kind of popping off though.
I am 2 and 4, but 475 damage in 6 rounds?
That's like 100 damage around, man.
And I know what you're going to say.
You're going to say all of the damage is from grenades.
No it's not, bro.
all the damage is from grenades
go get the cat
we've all got rolls on motherfucker
that could still be good denial space
W space denial
don't look at chat they're all they're all they're all posting a smiley face
It says, what a great grenade, smiley.
As long as green lives, I ain't sweating.
Oh shit, green died man.
I'm the best.
That was a crazy grenade.
Respect.
I'm the best.
Oh, I read the clicks, I read the clicks.
Oh, oh!
Wait, we're actually kind of popping.
Are they going to be mad if we play spawns and I go to tunnels now?
I guess this is like when you'd want to have comms on, maybe.
My bad, y'all.
I need to change my name, too. Like it's been Rashomon for too fucking long.
That was swag.
is that him yes reported okay where's the best part to hold here do you hold
here because it's the deepest angle or do you hold here so you can shoot the
top of his head when he comes through the door. A for the corner position, B for this position.
The second one, I am out. I literally kill him if I wasn't wounded. Justin, I trust you,
but I will say it's very funny that, I mean, we now have a, we have a compilation of
Justin gives me a tip and I die immediately after. And the thing that an idiot will
say, yeah, but they're good tips. And a genius will say, that's why the compilation
so funny. That's really what makes the compilation humorous is that it's just an endless parade
of like getting good advice and then dying. I play spawns on this one. W crouch jump.
the fuck you can get up there without a boost the fuck is Wendy walk I got no comment for
That one
Wait wait they Molly here carefully y'all
Well, you can't abandon tons like that now bombs showing cat get out of tons
throwing fire thinks he's Ronald
Jenkins thinks he's mouth after casting a spell
in far far west
it's not
far far west the game is like literally good
okay it was literally fun and I thought it was
going to be two hours I was disappointed when after an hour and 15 minutes they were like
that's that's it for today I was like what do you mean that's it for today man
that's literally the best grenade I've ever thrown
we're pushing tons in this beast
literally raise your heart rate
That's crazy. That's crazy. He had so much confidence, man. I did do one-in-one something.
Would it like my body kind of like fell on his toe on the way down or something? Nah,
Now I am built for that so I'll take me back to long
Your teammate got a 4k damn shorty blame it on blue man
Three hundred and eighteen damage is positively anemic
That's literally a double kill bro don't push that you can't push that they're oping man
All right, then Shabbos, let's do this
We're farming utility cat fuck what the fuck well we got to get in there
Me and you blue
I thought I had him. I honestly thought I had him. With God as my witness. Bro, what
you doing no no no no he doesn't care he doesn't care if you get one if you get
one I respect this not even peeking not even look not even scoped in to take a
I'm gonna fucking freak out. Oh my god. So last round
Lou
Lou you're fucking out man favorite cut of steak. Can I say something rib-eyes obviously the king?
But I like a fucking thin-ass
Strip loin or like a hanger steak sometimes as well
Or a skirt steak. That's true. I like I like a really thin like over salted steak
especially now that and I'm sure I'm not trying to be performative I don't buy beef
because it's too expensive I respect that like you know some of you out there are
such beef enthusiasts you're still out there like trying to make it work but I'm
not I'll buy ground beef I'm not buying like steak but as beef came up and up and
up I would the cuts that I would buy got worse and worse and worse and you
learn how to make them work but I'm like man chicken chicken ain't subject to the
same kind of meteoric inflation it's still more expensive but
come on man
I mean, at the grocery store, I'd be expecting 25 to 30 bucks for like a single man sized
for sure.
Xbox or PlayStation?
Though you have chat disabled? Yeah.
What about in Bellingham?
That's probably like 18 bucks if I had the guess, but it's still pretty expensive.
Need one of those.
Don't body block me.
love that love that play my germs
get pumped buddy where you going
Sorry fella, I think I just molly my teammate.
I think, I think I just molly my teammate.
One fella left.
We close in.
I like to play this kind of like Duke Nukem style.
Dominated.
muscle memory. Dude, maybe. Don't take the mask off. It's scaring me. We go along here.
Decoil over the top. Buys us time to get out an entry frag. I'll chat. Yeah, it's called
the decoy grenade. Holy fuck it worked. Reload, get in there guys. Anyone have smoke for
the cross. Oh Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! Purple, what are you doing playing picks, man?
We were out long!
Okay, good try. Nice try.
We go pistol round again. I'm hearing Justin in my head. He's saying, we go out tunnels, hold W, and then I say, what if we die? And he goes pistol round. That's right, pistol round.
They ain't going this way man, my bad.
Because they've closed in on us with an M4 behind us.
He's got this.
All right, that was like that was some Michael Clayton shit
We buying y'all Orange why do you have no money?
Orange you think just cuz you got 13 under damage you could you could afford to fart arounds
I'll fuck it bro and look at this beast okay we got someone got off the right off the bat
Fuck it, we're bald.
Yeah, come on in.
Yeah, buddy. Yeah, come on in.
Don't let me stop you.
Time to read chat?
We read this.
Just a little peek.
Little peek never hurt anybody.
I think he saw me and took a shot at me.
Me against the world, y'all.
got mine got mine that's all that matters got mine okay well what are we
doing last word we're winning by one what happened we got to go long this is
a classic go long situation this is a classic hide in the corners no way he's
place in the mid smoke all right man what do you think
Who's next?
Where's Green?
Oh, what a shot though.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we win these?
Yeah, run and plant long.
You can run and plant long.
Homeboy, home, home, homeboy.
Oh!
I'm not MVP.
Did you see I single-handedly blew that shit wide open?
He planted though? Oh, whatever. Yeah, okay, fucking dry side all got the gold, but it
was Evan Bouchard's slap pass that made the fucking playwork.
I said we're going this way y'all. Never mind. I don't know.
Hit a pick.
But why are you running a scout man?
It's round 16.
Shit.
Fucker.
What the fuck?
What are we gonna do, bro?
Well...
Fuck it, we go out. Blue, we go this way. BLUE, FUCK, OOOH!
Blinded. Well, blinded? Or is that a no scope? That's it, you can't even be mad about that one.
I didn't even fire a single shot.
Look at, give your head a shake, man.
That wasn't a panic flash. I flashed behind me so that the person looking at me would be flashed.
We go long.
What are you doing? Blue with the damn scout, man.
Nah, I don't think so, kid.
Purple, you're gonna get capped, man.
Not on your chill.
I'll lurk. I'll play lurk on this one.
I saw them tons!
Imagine?
I know he's like he would never be there.
Good job team.
And then as a lurker I pick up this kill from the guy trying to flank.
We run this time guys I was holding long what the fuck
What are you gonna do big fella
He's not even gonna track him.
Walk backwards.
He was saving his op 100%.
CS is turning me into type A?
No it's not.
you would have typed some shit like raise your FLB by two green do I yeah I
trust green I trust screen
I'm gonna pretend to be good I'm gonna cosplay being good and it's gonna raise
my elo by a thousand wait out the utile guys wait out the utile okay there
Here we go.
Got him.
Oh mother fucker!
How did he peek so fast, man?
Wait, Craig, is that...?
Does that smoke the cross?
Oh man.
That was literally a nice try.
I put it in an all chat so they know we're not losing morale.
If you smoke at the tooth that smokes the cross, I have no idea what that means at all.
If you smoke the tooth that smokes the cross, I'll pick one on site and then you guys rush
I'm trying to make sure that I don't have to rush in.
All yours brother.
I'm triangulating where they're standing, from these blind shots.
Low heart rate.
Probably do that one in team chat.
Ah, it's down time, it's y'all.
I'm going to put it on the back side.
Back side.
Quarter's all check.
Part rate's 63. Not too bad.
Bibrarian's going to get banned for CS back-seeding?
No, because the ultimate own is that if they were good at CS,
they'd be playing attorneys right now instead of making
of me talking about Gregoraki movies.
We take those. We take those!
You day them to me again? I don't know. Things change every day, man.
I'm just trying to stay on the right side of history.
What do you think y'all?
I'm thinking we flash long immediately.
They throw a grenade in long.
We swallow the grenade.
It goes off in our tummy like a mask.
Literally works.
Got mine.
of
not a thirty seven year old dad saying, Tommy
because for me every single shot was on every single shot was was center of men
not head but center of mass
oh shit
I did do 54 in two
The crosshair was, but none of the bullets? Clearly, I don't understand guns.
This is save round y'all. Someone buy for me? Blue buy for me?
Blue, can you buy for me?
Trade guns anybody? Just for fun?
I'm lurking.
I lived a bitch.
Distraction tech?
We eat up his ammo. One shot at a time. We eat up his ammo.
My head snapped back so hard.
So he shot me in the head, but I died from the back of my head hitting the concrete.
I know they're screaming in comms bro scream it blue they've had like 20 damage on T side
No, that was bullshit. No, that's a little suss man
You too, all right, but what is what does Bono have to do with this shit?
That's real though guy who killed me literally did eight in one big deal
What do you think y'all keep by for me blue bye for me it's not like you're doing anything with it anyway bye for me
Okay, bro
Helmet scout it is
It blooms?
Be sure.
Oh.
Damn, new fastest fuck with this, huh?
I'm throwing the flashback.
Bro, bro, walk him back. Walk him back.
Just let me get a peek at him.
Oh! Tagged! Tagged one.
Oh!
Then one comes cat.
Let me peek along brother.
Let me peek along.
He's here.
wait though wait one on one and it's all my fault
yes wait wait that means at a minimum we're taking this to ot right
Holy brother
So all we do we win long we win long
I was about to knife him and take off I'm not even lying
Then I thought, nah man, he's gonna get a clutch pick.
No!
Through the smoke, little sauce, I didn't even know I was there.
3 on 3 we got this. Where's blue? I put a lot of faith in you blue.
Just gave him bomb. Yeah, I have a greens good.
Gordon Gekko.
Huge, huge!
And then you plant and we win.
What the hell is black cow on the song black cow? I think it's a chocolate milk.
to me this is cinema. Enemy green left the game shutting down game. Let's go, man. Not
to put you not to put you on the fucking spot blue. I was taking a lot of heat, a lot
of heat that should have been reserved for blue if I may.
Promo game next?
I'm so ready man.
It does feel kind of weird playing this just at a solo screen though.
It's a chocolate milk and a Coke.
Wait, that could be the greatest drink ever made?
Ew, no?
Well, can I say something?
Chocolate milk plus Coke might be the coldest drink ever made.
Doesn't it curdle the milk instantly? Yeah, whatever. You've never played Kings. Excuse
me, what am I doing in here with someone with the 10,000 elo? Now I'm opening myself up
to disrepute here, but eventually we have to have a game where we're not the lowest
low on the team right like obvious it's I'm like 94th percentile that means 6% of the game
is like at my level or lower isn't the point of matchmaking to sort that 6% so they play
against each other
use comms and you get better literally I played with my friends we lost every game
I played by myself. I won 100% of the games that I played by myself so far.
Ergo, my friends are the problem. That's science. That's science.
Truth, nuke. Sorry, sorry, Justin. If you're still here, I'm not a 1-1 token to
get sacrificed to generate a 5-4 monster that ain't me bro why why I had my
knife out why would you do that new record new record no man I felt it I was
like Scientology any percent. Oh dude, new meta! Every warmup is Scientology any percent.
We see how deep we can get into the enemy spawn without getting hit and try to drop
a spray. Wait, what do we do guys? No, no, no, yeah, vest. Vest, vest and under. We
go to lower rap lower rap yeah sign language lower rap yeah let's do it
yeah yeah blue nose was so you don't have to look back man I'll be here I'll
be first man now I don't give a fuck why are they oh they're going squeaky
Well they fucked me. Great.
We take these. 2v4 we take these. W shots. It helped that the enemy blew didn't shoot back.
I'm gonna run the smoke screen quick.
It's in all chat. Yeah, I know it's why it's a smokescreen bro
It we need it didn't work it probably bought us a little time
I'm gonna say move I got a kid oh wait that's good man that is good type in all chat move
I got a kid
of
There we go. Now we wait. We're buying right y'all. He's getting kicked. I'm literally
third in DPS. I'll hold outside. One damage. L. Oh, fuck. That's the bomb, bro. Oh, fuck!
Jesus Christ!
It's a damn mess out here!
I gotta kill Blind. I gotta kill Blind.
What are you doing? What are you looking at?
I wasn't suggesting my teammates worse. I was just wondering why they were looking at the wall
as if there was a person behind it.
Alright, never mind. I think they're above suspicion.
I really gotta kill from six damage in one.
Alright, what's the play y'all? What's the play?
I'm thinking this might be the round where I get a hundred on the galeel.
What if we just...
never expect someone to be barbed. One uh, squeaky. Shout out, Nikki. Well, you don't
I have to because you know we kind of need we need a bit of a vibes reset maybe
it's time to do the Nicki Minaj pose you know the one I'm talking about I don't
think we've done the Nicki Minaj pose and I had to guess at least 18 months
the what you know the one where she kind of like kind of turns her elbows
goes out like this and goes, you know the one I'm talking about? Yes, bro. She inverts
her elbows, you know the one I'm talking about? Yeah, I told you it would work! I'll take
that now man that ain't me
you're right
Nicki Minaj in the press room for the 2010 MTV video musical works yes that's
That's the one.
Youch, bro!
What the fuck?
That shit was like in my fucking mouth, man.
I want the spot!
Anyone cover in flank?
Fuck it, we ball.
They say you don't you don't hear the one that gets you
Shit
All right guys, what do you think?
Can we go can we go ramp I got six damage on round five y'all can we go ramp?
Let's call my brother.
Now, let's, can we go ramp?
One damage per round?
You got something to say?
I don't.
Nobody's covering outside, huh?
No, that's OK.
I got it.
A shot from the back outside.
Wait, maybe Yellow's onto something, man.
They always rush us.
I take a shotgun, lurk, and get a 5k.
the most incredible flash I've ever seen in my entire life.
Old, play bomb, play bomb guys, lock in, lower heart rate, manually lower heart rate, slower
Slower exhales, slower exhales, orange.
Orange is mini, slower exhales, orange lock in.
It's W, you're welcome.
Was walking up KMB, got asked where Broadway was,
nailed it and felt so much aura.
Yeah, bro, it's right there.
It's the one with all the traffic cones
and construction fences on it.
Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
That honestly, I'm mad,
because that's like, they gave you a freebie.
You really wanna farm some aura?
Next time they ask where West Broadway is,
you say, oh, you mean night?
Flash me out.
Thank you.
What do you mean pure luck?
Whatever I got it down.
Bro, you let me down.
You let me down.
Our whole team died.
That stings, man.
First time in Vancouver in two years, construction on Canby looks exactly the same.
I don't want to talk about it, it's kind of a sore spot for me.
Fan mode.
is Dan mode putting a hat on no is buying the M4 with the scope and then getting
opt outside
guns anyone
mod
flashing over top
Sorry, y'all.
Yeah!
Yo, but did you see me drop that flash on top of red, bro?
That was crazy.
What do you mean CT technical timeout, bro?
What are we on now?
Three kills!
How do you change hands again, H, right?
Is this crumping?
Why are you playing by yourself?
Isn't this just a bazaar?
Isn't this just our reskinned backpack battles?
Play cash.
Does it ever bother you that the only insight you ever have on anything is this is slightly
different than I expected?
Does it ever make you question what kind of processor you got in your PC up here that you had a model for something and then when you saw something that was slightly askew from the model, your first thought is, well, we've got to rectify this?
Does it ever make you think about what you were put on this planet to do?
Oh, shit.
The woke AK-47?
Your appendix ever blow the fuck up?
Not yet, not yet, but you know it's just a matter of time, right?
Where are we going, y'all?
He's not gonna expect to.
Oh, y'all.
I'm dissociating.
The edges of my vision are going dark.
huge mobs mvp probably
the way I end this map is so CT sided holy cow
Alright, check. 62. It went down. It went down.
Shocking aw, baby.
Shocking aw.
I go heaven.
Don't check corners, there might be a guy there.
That would be scary.
Good job, Blue.
Swing away blue swing away
Holy shit, we fucking
Oh my god, why would I done refund that Kevlar where we are 92 we're okay
Holy shit, what do you mean we bro? Did you not see me get that fucking awesome kill?
No, I can't really blame you for not looking at the screen and I haven't done much of value
in a minute, but...
Why?
I got a feeling Rose creep in that back here that lets me out here to get a position
on ramp. What the frick did I tell you?
Dark Yellow!
Who got the damn bomb, man? It ain't me, babe!
Huge W smoke. Molly heaven.
Literally I run this town did you hear the size of that fucking explosion bro another one
Whatever W bait W bait
That means you put it down the ladder too high to get over too low to get under bro
Fuck it. Fuck it. We ball.
We actually did so much better, man. We did so much fucking better.
And then fuck this up inside.
They'll never see it coming.
Anyone watching ramp?
The fella?
Mods?
You know what?
Here's one for your little friend
Chock-a-na baby Chock-a-na mother fucker man
Damn, he's fucking quick with it, too.
I don't know where to go, man.
Definitely won't be expecting this.
Oh, shit!
Oh shit, are you fucking kidding me, bro?
I'm a barbarian, I'm Conan, you know, she's always saying shit like that, bro.
She's always saying shit like that.
No, no, no, I know exactly what we do here.
That was actually kind of crazy.
I mean, I had six damage after five rounds.
Ghibli, we need to bring back low-ranked Unxies. You just got to tank your elo a little bit more. I know you've been trying.
Literally, that's probably like 20 damage to five individuals in there.
Russian
Folded, one shot, one kill
Thanks y'all.
Oh, but I was feeling myself.
I was moving a little different than I've had.
I was moving with no trepidation.
Sounds broke, guys.
One second. W team.
Chibley, did you see they added a new bug that causes your game to lose audio?
Yes, it's so crazy to me.
Honestly, I think I might, well, hang on.
No, dude, let's go beast mode and use Augs outside.
Hey, purple, I got this, man.
Oh shit
That went bad
What the hell happens?
Hmm 55 and two not too bad though and we're back. I'm literally top-fragging if you average it over the last three rounds
I mean, it grows on our team at 8700 Elo and I'm logging in.
Do you ever think about that?
I'm the guy who goes heaven, though.
Okay, alright.
You know what?
You're rushing, I understand.
Tell us they've opened Squeaky.
I don't believe that they went down.
What the hell?
Screenshot saved?
Did I tell it to do that?
Sneezed halfway through there.
X-Box shut down. Imagine.
Please land some shots. I literally did, I bet I did 30 in two.
He landed a screenshot.
15.
Nice trash.
16 and 1. AKA, 32 and 2.
I'm thinking it's mag 7
ramp season.
Let's go!
Imagine if that guy didn't ruin my life by standing still for .01 seconds at the start
of the match.
It's literally my spot, bro.
That's the spot I picked in my head without telling anybody.
Okay, fine.
Yeah, sure.
Boy, you take the gun, you earned it.
What was that?
Yeah, I don't think so, kid.
Grab his gun.
No!
There was an odd I didn't want the odd. I wanted green's Galileo a our connection
Did you see that mag seven shot
He got slumped man, but it was merciful because it was like before his his brain could tell his body there was somebody there
Watch this
I think I got time to pee before this round ends.
Probably not if I sit down.
Damn, he had no idea, man.
Sure, he's a jolly broger until he answers for his crimes.
Another disaster class? I'm literally at 100% win rate and having fun. Which is the true end game of video games.
You ever think about that?
Oh, shit.
Oh, that would have been awesome, though. That would have been awesome.
Okay, that's pretty good.
David Byrne ordering breakfast, scones, is what I wanna eat.
So I'll guess that I'll order scones, okay that was almost awesome though.
I got scones.
I will place them jam upon the scones.
Maybe he was right when he said the less we talk about it the better though.
Could be good man.
I mean, if Macaulay Culkin could do a Velvet Underground tribute group just based around pizza,
surely we could do a Talking Heads tribute group based around British baked goods.
Yeah, it's alright bro, take your time.
I hear steps behind me, they're going to ramp.
That was aura, obviously.
of
fast peak from the distance
Oh, yeah, I'll swap for that any day of the week.
Our rate's lower than it's ever been.
This time I'm going ramp.
I'm going to hit that headshot ramp.
gonna win. I'm going Matt Hasselbeck. Stop making fun of my username I have to
change it.
That's book.
That's mouse sign.
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, I was looking at chat.
We push these, push the advantage.
Bombs down Chofi.
No, no big deal.
No big deal here.
No, no big deal, no big deal, yeah.
Come on.
They're gonna be like, don't go ramp, the demon's there, the deep and they're right.
The demon's me.
Damn! Over a 1.0 KDR!
Have one on me brother.
Joanna Newsom mentioned. It's kind of pissing me off.
Let's table this conversation for now.
Good show, bro.
Only two fellas remain. I love this. We hold the angle.
Now we push.
Obviously we push, bro.
Bombs down somewhere. Do I look like I fucking give a fuck?
These are video games, bro, not school.
Mods.
Oh, shit.
Anyway, long story short, when did we decide that Have One On Me was a more important album than Ease, man?
I'm an Ease fella. I'm an Ease man.
As an easeman I hope you don't mind if I wax Cosmia to you as an easeman would
I hope you don't mind that I quote Emily reference the melancholy friendship and
platonic love of a song such as Monkey and Bear
Can you get the fuck out of the way I'm clutching up bro!
and the ship y'all really I don't even know where to go man this shit open yep
what the fuck got him i got an idea
They say at least I had the fucking nuts to get in there, bro.
We're popping off.
Purple, get your head in the fucking game.
Oh my God.
Do not get the op?
Too late, brother.
Lime green.
Like my sleep score.
Oh, so it's over.
It's fucking over, bro.
We won again.
We won again!
And I deserved it!
What do you mean, the MIA?
Did you not see me clutch up?
No!
I'm sorry!
I might be playing it for laps but I was not the MIA. I went crazy.
Zero assists. Alright, no one got mad at like Maurice Richard for that kind of stat line.
I gotta go pee so bad. I'll be right back.
you
Need some amaliz
You know what I'm talking about yeah, I sat down I said honestly I feel like I'm enjoying the sit-down meta, man
I was not gambling I grabbed the two skins out of my weekly crape drop holy shit, bro
I'm, I'm eagle with two arrows.
Corey, Corey, I'd be, I'd be a little scared if I were you, Corey.
Chad, should I buy sorrows?
Why do you sound like the new general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs as soon as July
1st free agency comes around?
He's not leaving Nashville, man.
He's not leaving.
So they traded Asgharov, right?
They might have traded Asgharov, I can't remember.
Yeah, they got rid of him.
All right, all right, all right.
Yeah, Housemark goaded.
Can I say something?
I think that they make good games, but I don't like them.
I played Returnal for like 90 minutes and I was like, this seems like one of the
best games that I do not like. I have an issue with three-dimensional roguelikes, to be honest.
Two-dimensional roguelikes like Enter the Gungeon. My brain can process the shooting and the dodging
very easily. Three-dimensional, I'm just like, what am I doing here, man? What am I doing
here? What about risk of rain too? Would somebody like to illuminate for the new heads in chat
my thoughts on Risk of Rain too. He loves it, he loves it, you love it, he loves it, he loves
it. Change username, that's true. I gotta think of one though. Based on the movies I've been
watching I mean dude Fred from brief encounter would be a crazy name I don't
think of who else could be you could always be Ryan from 9 to 2 a little
Cleo from five to seven reference. Fred Fox would be funny. Too funny for me. I'm afraid.
Canadian Tire. Libertarian Canadian Tire. I've got to think about that. VIP Daniel, Tim Hortons
has been pissing me off for a long time but they're really starting to piss me off with
their new model of just constantly doing a collaboration at all times and every single
collaboration is with Ryan Reynolds. Even McDonald's, it takes a lot for me to say this, even
McDonald's is pissing me off because it's like it used to be hey there's a
there's a BTS meal and then there's no collab and then a few months later it's
the grimace shake now it's just I I go to McDonald's they got 18 different
collabs going at the same time man I would like to play I'd like to play
Nuke again? No, I'd like to play Inferno. Too late, y'all.
You may not know, but what's the Vancouver meta for hotels that are under 400 bucks? I
have some horrible news. Guy who's from Vancouver. I read an article that Vancouver has the
same number of hotel rooms in 2026 that it did in 2002. Basically, hotel rooms are insanely
expensive here. And if you find one that is like, I don't know, like 200 bucks or
less be very suspicious because like there's some busted hotels in Vancouver
oh wait this is a Scientology any percent I had a friend come to Vancouver don't
don't don't attack me please don't attack me I'm trying to find the Tom
cruise suite that's literally as good as it gets that's as good as it gets right
there that's a hundred percent he stayed in a chain hotel that was on
Granville Street I went to his room and I was like with a whole hotel it smelled
so bad the second I walked into the lobby of the hotel that I instantly got
a headache like it was it was just crazy like I was so moldy and mildewy
Like through they permeated the entire building
Ready for this
It just works come on come on come on
Oh boy! Oh no, you're good. You're in comms probably. You're probably in comms.
I'm moaned when I drank the water there. Honestly, that's real. Sometimes it hits.
He stood still, he planted his feet and clicked ahead man.
Why is water so goaded?
It isn't even that good.
What a shot.
Oh, why the knife?
Wrong?
It's fine, like it's not bad, like I wouldn't go that crazy, but it's certainly not the
best tasting beverage, that's insane.
Not that good until 10.32pm on a Tuesday evening after you've been on the couch for
three hours?
Sorry, Chibli, I wouldn't know what that's like, I have a child.
How do you feel about that?
Kind of just won the argument by, uh, by reproducing, huh?
Oh, obviously I won't be walking out into that.
I'm above, uh, I'm above 5,000 now.
Above 5,000 elo, we don't walk out into the spray.
I literally headshot him. How is he alive bro? He's got one hell of a headache!
Even a man who shares a world of differences may find common ground among the plains. Oh
it. You're kind of talking like Liv Schreiber and the daytrippers, chibby. Swagged up on
him a little bit. Did you just call me a lib? No, if anything, he's like a monarchist.
No armor greater than son
Yeah, sure no problem bro now I'll be late to mid and get killed and my teammates are gonna call me a slur in all chat bro
Stop getting gout with the scouts and save a spot for the up
Wait for it.
I have the ball.
Holy shit, we fucking won.
Oh.
What do you mean we?
Did you see my fucking shot, man?
Did you see my shot?
When you get to the spot with no gun out.
So they don't even do shit mid.
He reloads and I kill him.
What?
Okay, well obviously we don't go that way.
We wait for them to cross and we kill them.
letting our bomb get deeper and deeper into A. I have a hundred percent belief
this plan is going to work. They're gonna be like, he moved.
Maybe they moved.
Bombs down. It's our time to peek.
I just go back to spawn, y'all.
Wait, green popped off?
Activating the bomb.
The bomb has been cleared.
The moment you drop the angle,
It's always in the last place you look bro.
I'm getting pretty good.
I'm getting pretty good at the game.
I'm pretty good at the game.
They can hear the scope.
I can hear you using.
Stop body blocking me bro, I'm gonna freak out.
They need a good guy with the op to stop a bad guy
with the op.
Nah, he stays killing me. Why did nobody give a fuck?
Wait, they killed our purple, man. Double peek.
Whoops. Flush them out and then we get one of these.
Got him.
I don't know where to look man.
Play bomb.
It's that simple.
Play bomb.
Dude, getting an early op kind of like getting brimstone on the basement too.
Bad plant, bad plant spot, honestly, kind of a bad planting spot.
Why would you plant there?
You need to plant for a window, bro.
That's whatever.
They'll figure it out there.
They'll figure it out in time.
I need a new scope.
A malisterine guy.
Oops.
Redemption. Yeah, that's Pete, bro.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Maybe Cory's right.
Maybe the op is unfair.
You literally just shoot them and they die.
I play pit.
There's only one.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Sheesh. And we planted and we planted
Salt and vinegar or barbecue chips? Miss Vickie's were going salt and vinegar any day of the week,
but the vinegar better be malted, bro. Lays? Now I'm a barbecue stan, personally.
All right, that was awesome. At first, everybody got the AWP. They saw that around and they
went, wait a second. Give me that. There's a gun that kills in one shot in this game?
Yeah, bro. Yeah, it kills in one shot. It's called the op. It costs $30 million.
Wait, we might be unstoppable.
W's breaking stuff, what the, why would you kill him?
Damn, we really do have three ops.
Oh, move move bro
My jumps
Motherfucker man.
Take the AWP it's the Mids OP.
with bomb my team was right behind me. Speaking of which, that's a smoke screen. Now we don't
go banana. Does anyone know where to go on this map? That's not banana.
I just go banana. Guys, could I get the spawn as close as to the door? So that I can get
mid and get 4k with my op again?
9 times out of 10 that gets a kill.
Fuck.
I got you orange.
noise at banana. Counter strafing mid. Nothing. Mollying patio. Squeaks jumping apartments.
They didn't my team didn't tell me I'm last man standing
All right lock in lock in
Damn Justin you see I got a fork. I got a four kill implant. I got a 4k implant
And then I've just been buying the op every single round ever since but it's literally not my fault because somebody on my fucking team is two and seven
Yeah, got him.
Confidence. Now I lock in.
Purple watch out.
Steps mid.
I'm practicing comms.
Bro, we got no one banana.
Who's watching the flank?
Must have been the wind type shit.
You turn, I get this guy.
I'll throw in a flashback.
Signs.
Fucking signs type shot.
Just saw he did the corner of his leg disappear behind a fucking stalk of corn
He said shot instead of shit because it was a fucking shot bro like from M. Night Shyamalan signs
It was a shot from signs
Don't say bomb in those children there's millennials here bro okay I'm going to that hole
Or I lost.
Sorry. Loud walking because I wanted to check the scoreboard.
I'm looking left out of mid. Let's do this green. Three, two, one.
He's there oh I thought he had him what happened they clutched up we were up like five one
You stop buying op I'm penny smart and dollar dumb bro I'm broke
you guys see that? can't even afford the fucking op man scout is kind of like an
off
eagle is like an off that's true
the worst case scenario seven five ain't that bad
kind of a loser way to start thinking about the game but
love that. Okay, I've been killed. I jumped without bending my knees. Oh, that was clean
No, who was that? That was yellow?
Chad did he win that new game? Not only did we win and we won it easily. I'm not even trolling. Oh come on pull the knife out kid
Mr. MIA said easily? I literally got two MVPs.
got two MVPs.
It's not toxic.
I was trying to bait the opposition into giving up peekers advantage, thus giving my teammate
a boost.
Are we Russian, then?
Or are we doing sneaky-peaky-like?
Okay, who?
I think noobs love to play banana,
so I'm not gonna play banana.
I'm gonna play pit.
Yellow, I gotta be so fucking for real with you.
You really wanna get promoted?
Let's go, let's go!
I knew it.
It's really slow.
Ah, fuck.
They're everywhere, man.
John Wick.
Got him.
Got mine.
Now we can lower the heart rate.
the exhales. We clutch up. Oh if I could click, my finger wasn't strong enough to click faster
or he'd be dead.
Swag 7, no armor apartments.
Strong alphabet earnings report.
That's huge.
Honestly.
I mean, it's been a good month on YouTube because you're slay this pirate too, so that's probably a big part of it.
I'd have to say honestly it's I don't want to get accused of insider trading
But the slay this fire two videos have been I've been doing pretty well
It's probably a big part of it
I don't think they went this way man
I'm why am I playing this like it's halo
Translate STS-2 to Chinese, you'll go platinum. I'm literally just going to learn Mandarin.
Let's take classes together. No, I'm taking classes with my wife. You should take classes with your wife.
He's on some John Wick shit, man.
He's on some John Marston shit, bro.
Nice try, nice try, King.
In my head, I was like, we got time for one more.
No, the fuck we don't, bro.
Look at the time.
is 138 we don't have we all got time for one more
I was gonna say we do have time tomorrow but we got some hell are we doing tomorrow some
kind of multiplayer stuff that Kate set up it's not the birdwatching game it might be
a game it might be a one versus three asymmetric multiplayer game
headshot
I thought that was the one did you ever do this you ever lean back and massage
your eyebrows it kind of feels good as fuck it's kind of a very neurotypical
thing to do especially of when you do this a little bit of like you had like
some dried skin or something in there and it kind of like pops out and you get
like a sense of relief from it it's kind of awesome I actually do do that
Lamal it feels so fucking good especially I mean I don't have hair man I
I don't have a hair. I think this is as good as it gets for me
That was that was actually a great try
I mean
oh shit he had to do something yeah he had a lot to work with oh man I think I
should just stay in the pit man
I mean, as long as yellow is still holding it down at the bottom, we don't really care,
but...
Okay, I guess I'll play patio then.
I've lost all confidence.
We need to lean forward and clutch up.
Start sitting like a guy who's good at counter strike.
the neck. Bombs banana, we rotate through spawn, just in style. W, that's an improvement
already. It's already paying dividends, man. You inspired me to reinstall Counter-Strike
then I realized I'm on the same skill level as you. It literally doesn't matter. I don't
know at some point you ever seem like your mom play video games she'll just
play like purple place man you know why she's playing purple place just needs a
little break from the day-to-day fucking drudgery man and it's it's got a
a certain appeal to them. Well, there's no way I'm getting the pit, man.
Nice try for me. I'm going to give myself a nice try on that one. What I'm trying to
say is it's okay to have fun, man.
I
Died librarian. Thank you for saying them out of that comment. I was laughing my ass off
I wasn't gonna get baited into replying but for a first-time chat message
No, man, they're called they're calling my mom rich because she played purple place
I mean she was like doing pretty well it's not cuz of purple place like oh
Shit
Who did that?
They had a kid, okay.
Pidget toy down.
How did you know it was my Kirkland Signature sparkling style water?
I'm all good good. I lost all sounds
That should be helpful while I op here
Or are you in up you're not even in apartments, well, that's horrible news for me
What are you doing, man?
I'm scared.
Maybe I'll be better without sound, though.
So far, so good.
He's planting, bro.
Save round.
imagine that bitch kind of beeping at me right now if I had the guess yeah okay
give me a second here I feel like I kind of did I did all right considering the
circumstances if I may say so
Hmm, but I would like to buy an AWP. Oh, it can't be done, man.
We don't buy for next. We gotta stop them from getting to 12.
Hmm.
Blade Yellow kinda clutched up, too.
Yellow's in the damn walls already.
Yep. Nice try.
I was I didn't think you would have the stones to push me but then I there's
nothing that we've done in this game that would inspire him to have a lack of
confidence in himself so my assist thank you
big news though yellow's dead so they can't pass us in damage
Great shooting, man. Plus I got an assist.
That's bad.
That's pretty bad.
I
Know you buy for me yellow buy
Purple purple you buy for me
You're so brave for solo queueing bro, you know who's brave our nation's firefighters
I'm just the guy playing a video game and the others no other streamer would tell you this
You know who's brave that guy in chat earlier who said I know it's a little weird, but I like girls with short hair
That guy's brave for saying that shit
I'm scared maybe I am brave cuz I'm a little scared
Motherfucker
Whatever got mine
Are you kidding me yellow? You cemented your place in the basement, man.
Oh, caught looking at chat. It really isn't fair that the other people playing this game don't have like a distraction on the other monitor at all times.
I mean, inevitably some of them are probably watching my stream, which is the only reason
they're able to beat me, but...
They have Netflix up?
Nah, man, tell me why I'm watching Le Bonheur, and then my friend from college is like,
Have you seen the Jake Gyllenhaal remake of Road House?
Like what are we doing here, man?
No!
Terrorists win.
The quad killer.
GG, it wasn't that bad, all things considered.
I once had a friend that said the white remake of Old Boy is better than the Korean one.
I don't know if this was engineered in a lab to be the funniest comment of all time.
Calling the American Old Boy the white remake is really funny.
That's a really, really funny sentence.
was workshopped for a long time. Kudos to you because that is a really good one.
Close this up. I don't know. We could do the dulls for like 11 minutes or whatever.
World's fastest dolls incoming.
Amadeus. Those chairs fucking stink like Jeffrey Jones butthole. 100% Amadeus. That's the easiest
one I've ever seen in my entire life. We go to the Daily Dozen. Michael Robinson converted
to fullback and made a pro bowl while playing for this NFC West team in 2011. 49ers.
After taking an SEC team, ain't that the people supposed to be investigating the Hock Tua?
This big man started in place of an injured Kevin Garnett in the 2009 postseason.
Andre Aguadala.
Alex Cora began his 14-year career with seven seasons playing for this NOS team.
San Diego Padres.
Boom.
Lipscomb, Belmont, Austin, P. State, and Union,
are universities residing in this US state?
I have absolutely no,
that's the hardest geography question
I've ever heard in my entire life.
That's insane.
The average geography question
is like the United States of blank.
What the hell is this?
Okay, that's Ryan Seacrest.
for sure. It might just be Ryan Seacrest. I think it's, I mean there's like a little
Sophia Vergara in there. There's a little like, she does the Dick Clarks Rockin New Year's
Eve stuff. Like there's a little Jamie Presley in there if I may.
fucker all you're right that's Hillary Duff son of a bitch what pizza chain
attempted to create a system in which customers could order a pizza by tweeting
a pizza emoji dominoes oh thank God we're on the board this actor played Jim
Hopper David
Harbour, there we go.
Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman, boom, that's Rain Man.
Shut up and dance, walk the earth.
Next.
Walk the moon, whatever, buzz all, drain ass.
Okay.
Check the percentage on geography.
No time.
That's just for the birds.
Huge.
Huge catfishing be my ass today.
Wait, I'm kind of insane.
I'll check catfishing.
It might be my favorite doll if I'm being honest.
Oh, it didn't hold.
Oh, geography was 43%.
You know, Americans, they love a few things.
of those things is college football. So I'm not surprised that an American college
question got such a high percentage. They should put some Canadian college
questions in here. Have some motherfuckers say, what the fuck is Dalhousie
How's the university that could have been worse.
You gotta do connections, man.
Standing, standing room, standing ovation, standing orders,
standing, I have no idea.
But obviously, it's that.
Wait.
Hand roll.
Let me think in sushi.
A stage, a phase, a round, rumble, rumble, a rumble?
Things thunder does, bro.
Thunder clap thunder, rumbles thunder, rolls thunder, booms.
An inside joke, an inside around, a level, a room, a level, a stage, and a phase.
Around a room, around a level, a stage, and a phase.
of a boss in a video game. Standing orders, standing ovation, standing room only, and standing
joke? What is a standing joke?
Tons of puppets. What's a standing joke? Don't ask me. That was my question exactly.
joke. No one knows. It's a running gag. It's like a standing order is like an order that's
there by the fault. A standing joke is like a joke that makes itself. Nineteenth century
political riots, the 1880s in Chicago, history of social movements, mass murders in Chicago.
I have no idea. The Haymarket affair. Damn cameras were good back then, man. 18th century
inventions, scales in meteorology, Swedish inventions, barometer, Celsius, motherfucker.
Okay, 1980s mockumentaries, I can do this.
My Christopher Guest with screenplays by Michael McKean.
This is Spinal Tap.
And by the way, if you wrote Spinal Tap, I want you to take zero points on that.
17th century inventions that were English inventions that were analog computers that
with logarithms, mechanical calculators, invented in 1622, the slide to start obsolete, people
still use it, probably 20th century British artists born in 1954, never gonna know it,
so you just don't waste any brain power. 2000s films about time travel, we will know
It
Teen time loop films from two that's Donnie Darko
Whom you looking for this next 16th century executions by Italian states
People executed for heresy Italian occult writers
Not the Alligieri?
Giordano Bruno?
They killed him. They killed him because he wasn't Giordano Borat.
1960s comedy novels adapted into films.
Novels about PTSD set during World War II.
Tragic comic novels about the military-industrial complex that were adapted into films.
Uh, the Doctor Strange Love.
No, wait, that's not about World War II, bro.
Fiction about bureaucracy.
1960s comedy adapted into television shows?
Smash!
It's catch...
Oh my God, it's catch 22.
Motherfucker!
1968 singles, Little Richard singles, Good Golly, Miss Molly.
No, songs about San Francisco, songs about boats,
stacks, records, singles,
sitting on the dock of the bay.
20th century Christian saints.
Russian women born in 1901 who died in 1918.
Anastasia, grand duchess Anastasia,
Nikolavena of Russia?
All right, well, we're on the right side of the chart.
That's all I could say.
Cut the steak real quick.
Oh, shit, it is 2 PM.
Obviously not that.
But why?
That's pretty fucking good.
And Bandle?
Alright, you've been good.
I'll give you Bandle, too.
The loading screen having a pause on it is so fucking funny.
1982?
I need more, but...
I feel like it's got a...
It's got something like that going on.
I mean the bass is doing something.
Give me some more, man.
What the fuck did I tell you?
Yeah, I think I'm gonna know it, but I don't know it.
I ain't dying in combat.
Miss Arquette's first name, Patricia, Patricia, Roseanne, Toto, Roseanne, oh, it's Toto.
I think I only know one Toto song, bro, and it's Africa, I'm sorry to say.
But did I clock it or did I not clock it at this part?
How'd you manage to get it right?
Bro, I know who Rosanna Arquette is.
What about Hold the Line?
That's true.
I do know Hold the Line.
So surprised you don't know that.
You sound like the dude in my discord who's trying to convince me that I can't buy a
thrill is better than Asia.
Bro, listen.
For having a couple of beers with the boys?
Yeah, maybe you want to get Jack black and do it again.
But if you're chilling in your fucking room crying,
it's a little bit of a different story, OK?
It's a little bit of a different story.
Is there number two biggest single?
Sorry to inform you, I wasn't alive in 1982.
And I think the song fucking sucks.
Well, I don't know about the song.
I've never heard it.
But I think the band sucks ass.
And I will never willfully hear another Toto song.
I will never go to YouTube and be like,
oh, I ought to learn more about this band
because everything I know about Toto
has been forced upon me against my will
because of the cultural preponderance of Africa.
And I've sat here for three fucking decades
having to listen to people have a conversation
about how awesome the song is.
And while even the Weezer cover,
the interesting thing is it might be even better.
Nah, man.
But I do have to say it's a little hooky.
I like this.
["The Weezer Cover"]
I really like the full house-ness of this.
I really like that.
That's the kind of shit they play right before they say like filmed in front of a live studio
audience.
I really like that.
Lead singer's dad is John Williams.
Oh cool, so they're also Neppo babies.
Okay.
So there's that too.
Anyway.
it was a fun stream today i'll send you over to my live stream and i'll be back tomorrow later y'all
do